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1
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Oh, they're expecting to my purse, baby.
2
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I already took some.
3
00:00:15,930 --> 00:00:19,870
I've been thinking it's time that I pull
my own weight. You know, be more
4
00:00:19,870 --> 00:00:22,030
responsible. Cool. The rent's due on the
1st.
5
00:00:23,050 --> 00:00:25,250
According to my lease, it's on the 5th.
6
00:00:25,570 --> 00:00:26,570
What lease?
7
00:00:26,810 --> 00:00:29,030
The one Stevie and I got for our
apartment.
8
00:00:29,350 --> 00:00:30,350
What apartment?
9
00:00:30,930 --> 00:00:32,210
The one we got yesterday.
10
00:00:32,790 --> 00:00:33,790
Yesterday?
11
00:00:33,930 --> 00:00:35,750
How can the two of you afford an
apartment?
12
00:00:36,710 --> 00:00:38,970
It's only $450 a month.
13
00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:42,580
Mama, my bedroom is bigger than this
whole house.
14
00:00:44,460 --> 00:00:46,400
Uh -huh. And I'm a size six.
15
00:00:48,920 --> 00:00:50,320
No, seriously, Mama.
16
00:00:50,780 --> 00:00:52,060
It's called rent control.
17
00:00:52,500 --> 00:00:57,200
Unless you have light control, gas
control, and food control, you'll be out
18
00:00:57,200 --> 00:01:01,020
control. So, uh, why don't you save
yourself some embarrassment and move
19
00:01:01,020 --> 00:01:02,380
in? Thank you.
20
00:01:03,380 --> 00:01:06,240
Did I mention Professor Ogilvie lives in
the same building?
21
00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:09,080
What are you standing around for? We
need to pack our stuff.
22
00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:08,900
jail for breaking and entering. I just
took care of that last warrant.
23
00:02:14,440 --> 00:02:15,980
Ah, look at this.
24
00:02:16,320 --> 00:02:17,420
It's worse than I thought.
25
00:02:17,780 --> 00:02:19,840
Come on, let's put this stuff out of
here before they get back.
26
00:02:20,940 --> 00:02:21,940
Halt!
27
00:02:22,180 --> 00:02:24,600
I'm warning you, I ain't no Taekwondo.
28
00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:26,000
Hell, I'm no Taibo.
29
00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:29,180
Really? With Billy Blank?
30
00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:32,240
Well, maybe you could help me out
because I've been trying to get in that
31
00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:37,540
forever. Well, if you go early on
Tuesday, with short little legs. Shut
32
00:02:37,540 --> 00:02:38,540
Del.
33
00:02:38,620 --> 00:02:40,100
Who the hell are you?
34
00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:41,320
Sophia Van Lowe.
35
00:02:41,760 --> 00:02:42,920
You're Stevie's mother?
36
00:02:43,340 --> 00:02:44,460
But you're so tall.
37
00:02:45,180 --> 00:02:46,180
And you are?
38
00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:48,600
Nikki Parker, Kim's mother.
39
00:02:49,140 --> 00:02:50,140
Oh.
40
00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:53,040
Well, you're no leprechaun yourself,
honey.
41
00:02:56,020 --> 00:02:58,060
I like you.
42
00:02:58,520 --> 00:03:00,100
This is my friend Ann Del. Hi.
43
00:03:00,340 --> 00:03:03,580
I apologize, ladies. When I heard your
voices outside the door, I thought you
44
00:03:03,580 --> 00:03:04,580
were intruders.
45
00:03:04,750 --> 00:03:07,990
She is. You can't come into somebody's
apartment without their permission.
46
00:03:08,930 --> 00:03:10,550
See? I bet that's the police.
47
00:03:13,650 --> 00:03:14,650
Hi. Hello.
48
00:03:14,950 --> 00:03:18,330
Oh, hello, everyone. I'm Rachel, the
apartment manager. Just came by to fix
49
00:03:18,330 --> 00:03:21,250
sink. Oh, you must be Kim's mother.
50
00:03:21,570 --> 00:03:22,570
Hell no.
51
00:03:24,430 --> 00:03:26,810
Okay, then it must be you.
52
00:03:27,030 --> 00:03:28,030
That's right.
53
00:03:28,090 --> 00:03:31,910
And we'll be seeing a lot of each other.
My boyfriend, Stanley Ogilvie, lives
54
00:03:31,910 --> 00:03:32,910
downstairs.
55
00:03:33,490 --> 00:03:34,490
You're Veronica?
56
00:03:40,620 --> 00:03:42,460
That Veronica thing was just a phase.
57
00:03:44,300 --> 00:03:50,120
Hi, I'm... Oh, I know who you are. The
legendary, fabulous, incomparable Sophia
58
00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:51,120
Van Lowe.
59
00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:53,360
Oh, look at me. I'm embarrassing you.
60
00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:54,760
No, you're not.
61
00:03:55,340 --> 00:03:59,320
So, since you're in the biz, I was
wondering if you'd take a peek at my
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00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:03,520
portfolio, maybe recommend an agent. Oh,
sure. I'm also a singer, lash model.
63
00:04:04,320 --> 00:04:05,320
Ooh!
64
00:04:05,600 --> 00:04:08,340
Yeah, that was taken just outside Paris
in Versailles.
65
00:04:08,620 --> 00:04:09,620
Oh!
66
00:04:14,640 --> 00:04:15,640
Wasn't I precious?
67
00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:22,919
That's you?
68
00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:23,920
Uh -huh.
69
00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:29,020
But he has a... Well, then that means
you have a... Ooh, not anymore.
70
00:04:31,280 --> 00:04:34,940
I don't want to seem nosy, but what do
they do with it?
71
00:04:35,180 --> 00:04:37,440
Oh, I'm also an organ donor.
72
00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:20,520
The decorating police are about to
condemn it.
73
00:05:20,740 --> 00:05:21,740
Hey!
74
00:05:23,700 --> 00:05:24,700
Mama?
75
00:05:25,500 --> 00:05:27,180
I told them, Leah, stop alone.
76
00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:28,460
Just hard -hitting.
77
00:05:30,260 --> 00:05:32,380
Well, pipes are all clear. Hey, girl.
78
00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:33,640
Hey, Rachel.
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00:05:33,860 --> 00:05:37,000
Sophie, if you don't mind, I have a few
more questions about the biz.
80
00:05:37,540 --> 00:05:38,600
Who's the old girl over there?
81
00:05:39,020 --> 00:05:40,020
She's sexy.
82
00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:42,120
You don't even want to know.
83
00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:44,700
So you ain't going to hook my boy up,
baby?
84
00:05:45,100 --> 00:05:47,620
No. She used to be... It's messed up,
Kim.
85
00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:49,080
I introduced myself.
86
00:05:49,220 --> 00:05:51,140
I don't know why you hate him. You've
got a man.
87
00:05:52,780 --> 00:05:54,680
And so we'll see if he hooks up with
her.
88
00:05:57,780 --> 00:06:01,440
Oh, will you look at the time? It sure
is getting late, Mama.
89
00:06:01,980 --> 00:06:03,460
Guess you better send the boys home.
90
00:06:03,680 --> 00:06:05,420
No, Mama, it's time for y 'all to go.
91
00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:08,900
Um, Rachel, could you show my mama out?
Yeah, and mine, too.
92
00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:11,280
Certainly. Anything for Miss Van Lowe.
93
00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:14,120
And you, call me.
94
00:06:14,840 --> 00:06:15,840
Come on, ladies.
95
00:06:16,340 --> 00:06:17,340
Well, let's...
96
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:19,180
We don't want to overstay our welcome.
97
00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:21,220
Girl, when did that ever bother you?
98
00:06:22,280 --> 00:06:23,800
Bye, Mama. I'll call you.
99
00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:25,380
You'll call me too, Stevie?
100
00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:27,620
I don't think so.
101
00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:31,539
Look, y 'all.
102
00:06:31,540 --> 00:06:32,540
Got those digits.
103
00:06:53,550 --> 00:06:54,930
Ms. Parker, what are you doing here?
104
00:06:55,350 --> 00:06:57,510
Well, my baby just moved in the
building.
105
00:06:58,270 --> 00:06:59,270
Say what?
106
00:07:00,270 --> 00:07:06,330
Kim, she just moved in. And she's being
so... Aren't you going to invite me in?
107
00:07:07,550 --> 00:07:08,550
No. Thanks.
108
00:07:10,050 --> 00:07:11,750
It's like she's a different person.
109
00:07:12,050 --> 00:07:14,370
Distant. She acts as if she doesn't want
me around.
110
00:07:14,930 --> 00:07:15,930
I know the feeling.
111
00:07:18,050 --> 00:07:20,010
Ms. Parker, what can I do for you?
112
00:07:20,290 --> 00:07:21,290
Hold me.
113
00:07:23,180 --> 00:07:24,180
No, seriously.
114
00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:27,780
I could really use a hug. Strictly
platonic.
115
00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:34,320
Tighter.
116
00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:48,040
Hey, baby. Hey, Stevie. Is everything
okay?
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00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:52,370
Yeah, we just wanted to talk to you two.
I knew it. You couldn't have... Back it
118
00:07:52,370 --> 00:07:54,950
out there on your own. It's not easy for
a single girl.
119
00:07:55,250 --> 00:07:57,150
Now, do you see why Mommy married Daddy?
120
00:07:59,250 --> 00:08:00,910
It's not that, Mother. We're doing fine.
121
00:08:01,190 --> 00:08:02,850
Please don't tell me you're flunking out
of school.
122
00:08:03,190 --> 00:08:04,870
No, the complete opposite.
123
00:08:05,230 --> 00:08:09,390
Ever since Stevie gave me the tip to
read the chapters before class, I'm not
124
00:08:09,390 --> 00:08:10,390
confused anymore.
125
00:08:11,270 --> 00:08:12,890
So you two are not getting along.
126
00:08:13,110 --> 00:08:16,330
I knew it. You know, at home, you were
always such a loner.
127
00:08:16,550 --> 00:08:18,670
But when you're always left alone, what
else can you be?
128
00:08:21,550 --> 00:08:24,930
you to know that we're having a
housewarming. Nothing big, just a few
129
00:08:24,930 --> 00:08:26,550
and... Of course we'll be there,
sweetie.
130
00:08:26,910 --> 00:08:30,210
Oh, I know. I haven't always been there
for you in the past. And you're not
131
00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:31,570
going to be there in the future either.
132
00:08:32,250 --> 00:08:33,970
Um, Mom, you're not invited.
133
00:08:34,309 --> 00:08:35,309
Excuse me?
134
00:08:35,669 --> 00:08:38,750
Stevie, that's not a very nice thing to
say to your mother.
135
00:08:39,049 --> 00:08:40,549
Mama, you're not invited either.
136
00:08:43,450 --> 00:08:45,690
Kim, go get me a switch.
137
00:08:47,190 --> 00:08:50,170
No, Mama, I love you and I'm thankful...
138
00:08:50,380 --> 00:08:53,960
everything you've done, but... But we
would just feel better if you two sat
139
00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:54,939
house warming out.
140
00:08:54,940 --> 00:08:58,320
Yeah. It's really important we do this
on our own. You understand, don't you?
141
00:08:58,580 --> 00:08:59,580
Mm -hmm.
142
00:08:59,820 --> 00:09:01,340
You warm your damn house.
143
00:09:02,380 --> 00:09:04,300
Warm it until it burns.
144
00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:06,420
I don't need to be there.
145
00:09:07,900 --> 00:09:09,640
Well, she took that better than I
thought.
146
00:09:13,460 --> 00:09:14,460
All right.
147
00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:18,480
I'm not happy about it, but I guess I
really don't have a choice.
148
00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:21,520
Thank you for understanding.
149
00:09:22,220 --> 00:09:25,700
I mean, it's just going to be a few
people, dear. Yeah, just a couple of
150
00:09:25,700 --> 00:09:26,700
coming over. Nothing big.
151
00:09:26,860 --> 00:09:27,860
Right, right.
152
00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:33,360
Can you believe it? Our first
housewarming. Ooh, in our own house.
153
00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:34,259
own mothers.
154
00:09:34,260 --> 00:09:35,260
Hey!
155
00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:38,299
Hey, Nick.
156
00:09:38,300 --> 00:09:39,199
Hey, Woody.
157
00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:40,860
See you at the housewarming party.
158
00:09:42,020 --> 00:09:43,020
You're invited.
159
00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:55,960
Professor Ogilvy? Listen, could you tell
Kim thanks, but I won't be able to make
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00:09:55,960 --> 00:09:56,960
it to the housewarming party.
161
00:09:57,600 --> 00:10:00,140
I can't believe you're invited and I'm
not.
162
00:10:01,940 --> 00:10:02,940
You're not?
163
00:10:04,240 --> 00:10:07,140
In that case, tell her I'll be there
early and I'm leaving late.
164
00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:10,640
Hey, Nikki.
165
00:10:11,260 --> 00:10:12,380
Glad I ran into you.
166
00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:14,420
What are you doing here, Mal?
167
00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:19,400
Oh, I'm looking for Kim. I need her
house key. I'm the official bartender at
168
00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:20,520
little shindig tonight.
169
00:10:21,420 --> 00:10:22,379
You know what she is?
170
00:10:22,380 --> 00:10:23,380
Hell no.
171
00:10:24,060 --> 00:10:25,560
Oh, I forgot. You wasn't invited.
172
00:10:51,230 --> 00:10:53,330
Corkscrew. Corkscrew? Girl, stop
tripping.
173
00:10:57,350 --> 00:11:03,410
I'd like to propose a toast to
motherhood, the most underappreciated,
174
00:11:03,510 --> 00:11:07,250
misunderstood profession on God's lousy
green earth. That's right, Nikki.
175
00:11:07,490 --> 00:11:10,150
You give them life, they give you
stretch marks.
176
00:11:10,530 --> 00:11:11,810
Oh, not that I'd know.
177
00:11:13,310 --> 00:11:14,810
Oh, listen to you two.
178
00:11:15,030 --> 00:11:17,210
You should be glad they're growing up.
Let it go.
179
00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:19,210
You wouldn't understand, Andell.
180
00:11:19,850 --> 00:11:24,530
Tell us, Ophry. Unless you've carried a
baby for 39 months, seven days... 39
181
00:11:24,530 --> 00:11:25,530
months?
182
00:11:27,670 --> 00:11:31,810
I had the doctor induce my labor after
six months, honey. No child is worth
183
00:11:31,810 --> 00:11:32,810
losing your figure for.
184
00:11:34,330 --> 00:11:39,210
The point is, unless you went through
labor for 75 hours, you couldn't know
185
00:11:39,210 --> 00:11:40,009
we feel.
186
00:11:40,010 --> 00:11:41,010
Tell us, Ophry.
187
00:11:41,190 --> 00:11:44,030
Well, actually, my labor lasted 15
minutes.
188
00:11:44,890 --> 00:11:45,890
15 minutes?
189
00:11:46,110 --> 00:11:48,610
Well, she popped right out. It was like
my body rejected her.
190
00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:59,680
unless you've wiped their noses, their
tears, and their stinky little asses for
191
00:11:59,680 --> 00:12:00,680
19 years.
192
00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:03,540
You wouldn't know how it is to be a
mother.
193
00:12:04,580 --> 00:12:05,580
Right, Sophie?
194
00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:08,560
Well, I don't know. You'll have to ask
the nanny.
195
00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:13,920
Well, I'm gonna leave you two here to
discuss the pains of motherhood.
196
00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:14,999
Where you going?
197
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:16,060
Out. Where?
198
00:12:16,500 --> 00:12:17,500
Why?
199
00:12:19,500 --> 00:12:22,720
All right, all right. I didn't want to
hurt your feelings, but I was invited to
200
00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:24,000
the party. Gotta go. See ya.
201
00:12:39,569 --> 00:12:43,490
Daddy, this is my lady, Dorit. Nice to
meet you, son. I heard a lot about you.
202
00:12:43,590 --> 00:12:47,010
Hey, those charges never stuck. What
charges? Got you, Mr. Parker.
203
00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:34,800
Excuse me, sir.
204
00:14:12,170 --> 00:14:13,170
housewarming party.
205
00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:18,930
I can believe that.
206
00:14:19,470 --> 00:14:25,470
What I can't believe is they have an
ocean view, hardwood floors, all this
207
00:14:25,470 --> 00:14:29,450
for only $450 a month. I pay three times
that much.
208
00:14:30,110 --> 00:14:32,650
If you let me move in with you, we can
cut down in half.
209
00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:46,680
It's like we think just alike.
210
00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:48,980
She's not like any other woman I know.
211
00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:53,420
Yeah, man, she fine and all, but I don't
know, man, she kind of weird.
212
00:14:53,740 --> 00:14:55,240
I mean, she's too in tune with us.
213
00:14:55,780 --> 00:14:57,380
It's like she's one of the guys or
something.
214
00:14:58,840 --> 00:14:59,840
One of the guys?
215
00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:03,280
Man, you don't do it one of the guys
that we did together last night.
216
00:15:05,300 --> 00:15:06,720
Y 'all went all the way?
217
00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:08,280
Ah, not yet.
218
00:15:08,640 --> 00:15:10,720
Last night I just explored the northern
hemisphere.
219
00:15:11,180 --> 00:15:14,160
Tonight, she gonna give me a grand tour
of the dirty south.
220
00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:27,080
So, uh, you're not gonna give me your
number?
221
00:15:27,440 --> 00:15:28,700
I didn't say that. Give me a pin.
222
00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:37,320
Get your feet off the table, young man.
223
00:15:38,740 --> 00:15:40,700
Did your nanny teach you anything?
224
00:15:42,860 --> 00:15:44,160
Mother, will you stop it?
225
00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:47,080
I'm just trying to be a good mother.
226
00:15:47,380 --> 00:15:49,400
Yeah, well, you're about 18 years too
late.
227
00:15:57,740 --> 00:15:59,280
was paying attention to you. Really?
228
00:16:00,540 --> 00:16:02,060
I still got it done, don't I?
229
00:16:02,980 --> 00:16:06,240
I can cry on cue. Look at that.
230
00:16:06,460 --> 00:16:09,320
That is totally inappropriate behavior.
231
00:16:09,780 --> 00:16:10,780
Yeah.
232
00:16:11,040 --> 00:16:13,220
Rupert, what are you doing here?
233
00:16:13,540 --> 00:16:17,240
The question, my dear Sophie, is what
are you doing here? I believe you
234
00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:18,240
invited.
235
00:16:19,300 --> 00:16:20,740
I thought you were in Turkey.
236
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:25,240
I was, but I got in and I came straight
here. After all, it isn't every day.
237
00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:28,680
that your little girl gives her first
housewarming party.
238
00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:31,340
You invited your father?
239
00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:33,520
Well, I am paying for the apartment.
240
00:16:33,980 --> 00:16:39,080
Oh, just like you to rub my face in it.
I'd never rub your face in it, Sophia.
241
00:16:39,340 --> 00:16:40,960
It cost me too much.
242
00:16:45,380 --> 00:16:46,900
Woody, where the cops? I'm thirsty.
243
00:16:47,180 --> 00:16:49,960
Okay, I'll go clean some more. No need.
I got a straw.
244
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:39,060
Must be 10, 15.
245
00:17:39,380 --> 00:17:40,760
When were you born again?
246
00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:43,720
Father.
247
00:17:44,100 --> 00:17:45,340
All right, all right.
248
00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:52,740
Sophia, how would you like to go
shopping in Milan with a pool boy?
249
00:17:54,820 --> 00:17:58,480
Ruben, darling, the only way you're
going to get me to leave this party is
250
00:17:58,480 --> 00:18:00,760
you write a check for half of your
worth.
251
00:18:07,530 --> 00:18:08,530
He's young and tired of part.
252
00:18:45,520 --> 00:18:46,980
to ask you and your friend to leave.
253
00:18:47,620 --> 00:18:49,420
Daddy, can you take Mama home?
254
00:18:49,660 --> 00:18:50,820
Absolutely not.
255
00:18:53,020 --> 00:18:56,340
Father? No way. I want her passed out
when I get home.
256
00:19:58,220 --> 00:20:00,500
Just give me one more chance, Pumpkin.
I'll straighten out.
257
00:20:01,100 --> 00:20:02,100
All right.
258
00:20:02,120 --> 00:20:04,020
We're having a party next Saturday.
259
00:20:04,360 --> 00:20:05,360
What should I wear?
260
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:08,119
Hey, Gus.
261
00:20:08,120 --> 00:20:09,400
Hey. Hey, Stevie.
262
00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:11,240
How's your mom feeling?
263
00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:13,340
Oh, she's sleeping it off like she
always does.
264
00:20:13,980 --> 00:20:14,980
In Hawaii.
265
00:20:17,020 --> 00:20:17,959
Hey, ladies.
266
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:18,960
Hey. Oh, Tati.
267
00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:20,200
You look kind of down.
268
00:20:20,780 --> 00:20:22,160
Found out something about Rachel.
269
00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:24,740
Well, Bull, we tried to tell you.
270
00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:26,320
It's no big deal.
271
00:20:26,740 --> 00:20:28,730
It's not like it hasn't happened. to me
before, you know?
272
00:20:30,570 --> 00:20:31,570
Really?
273
00:20:31,990 --> 00:20:35,870
Yeah. Rachel's fine enough to make her
brother break some rules, but I ain't
274
00:20:35,870 --> 00:20:36,689
that kind of guy.
275
00:20:36,690 --> 00:20:38,050
Oh, well, glad to hear it.
276
00:20:39,030 --> 00:20:40,250
What are y 'all talking about?
277
00:20:40,490 --> 00:20:42,750
Oh, T found out that Rachel used to be a
man.
278
00:20:42,990 --> 00:20:45,590
What? Uh -uh. T didn't find out nothing
like that.
279
00:20:47,670 --> 00:20:48,930
Isn't that what you were talking about?
280
00:20:49,130 --> 00:20:51,370
No, I just found out she already has a
boyfriend.
281
00:20:51,890 --> 00:20:52,890
Well, guess what?
282
00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:01,800
Sorry, T, but your chick used to have
a... Bye!
21270
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