All language subtitles for the_parkers_s01e04_taking_tae-bo_with_my_beau

cotton candy and a hot dog.

What kind of beer is this?

Baby, this is a health band, not a
buffet.

But let's get our freebies and get the
hell out of here.

Ooh, I already see something yummy.

Hey, T.

You look good.

I didn't know you were athletic.

Shoot. My friends call me Buff Daddy.

You know, I normally do like 36 miles a
week.

You guys should try it. Oh, I did my
workout.

I ran to the court this morning.

36 miles in 36 years.

And I won't in the next 36.

But I don't have anything against taking
a nice romantic bike ride.

Lady Egyptian no sweat deodorant. Mama,
didn't you say the FDA banned that?

That's only if you eat it.

So why do you need the no sweat?

Because I need to smell as good as I
look.

I'm trying to find Billy Blank.

Billy Blank?

Is that T -boy going to be there? He
better be. I'm not doing this for my

health.

Oh, come on, Nikki. It's a life thing.
And you'll enjoy it. The place is

crawling with celebrities.

Like who?

Well, last week I saw Leon Isaac Kennedy
and Stoney Jackson.

He played in the park. He played in the
dark. He played all around the world,

from Paris to New York.

Spinning the ball, dazzling women.

Big ups to my man, Metal Lock Lemon.

Yes, I have three words for you.

Fabulous.

So, how was that, Professor?

Interesting.

But I asked for something on the Harlem
Renaissance, not the Harlem

Globetrotters.

Let me give you an example of what I had
in mind.

This is one of my favorite poems by
Langston Hughes.

It's entitled, To Artina.

A .K .A. Nikki.

I will take your heart. Hey.

I will take your soul out of your body
as though I were God.

I will not be satisfied with the little
words you say to me.

I will not be satisfied with the touch
of your hand.

nor the sweet of your lips alone.

I will take your heart for mine.

You can take my heart, my soul, my ring
finger.

Oh, time's up.

Have a great weekend.

Want to get a photo?

How about wheatgrass?

Rug, it's a health drink.

I know. That was a health joke, silly.

Professor, I just loved your reading.

Those words, they really moved me.

We should have a private poetry session.

You could go to my place.

We could have a little alizé.

And you could recite poetry to me.

As much as I could use a good stiff
drink right now.

Sorry, Miss Parker, I already have plans
tonight. I have to get to my Taibo

class. Taibo with Billy Blanks?

Yeah.

Do you take the class too?

No.

Good. I must be on my way. Bye, Mrs.
Parker.

Well, run on with your little tight -tie
-bo booty.

How do I look? I'm not showing too much
flesh, am I? No, no, you're fine.

Oh, really?

All right.

I'm going to go find Billy. Oh, okay.

I suggest you warm...

and it'll hurt your back if you don't
stretch correctly.

Well, can you show me?

What you want to do is raise your right
arm and bend from the waist.

endeavor's agency.

I'm your new agent.

They fired my brother?

No, but you may want to think about it
after you hear my offer.

Hey, Dad.

Just a second, Nikki.

What is that you're wearing?

A key. You know, like from the karate
kid.

Now, where's this Billy blankety -blank
you trying to hood with?

That would be me, grasshopper.

Nice to meet you. Welcome to Tybo.

Remember to pace yourself.

Thanks a lot, Nikki.

Yoo -hoo, Billy!

Have you ever thought about doing a
video?

Now there's somebody I want to do a
video with.

Sit down just for a moment. No, no.

Dr. Parkin said you have to stay awake
for the next six hours.

Oh, and it says here to watch for
nausea, vomiting, and if he falls

sure he's easily aroused.

If I knew it was going to be that easy,
I'd have knocked you out a long time

ago.

I'll take it from here, T.

Oh, no, no, no. Please don't call. Now,
look, I'm the one who gave you the

concussion, so I'm the one that's going
to take care of you, at least for the

next few days. Now, go on, get.

came in handy.

Want to get something to eat?

Oh, Tim, I'd love to, but I got to run.

Cool. Mind if I join you? Hey, great.
We'll do a quick 10 -mile jog, then grab

bite at the Tofu Hut.

10 miles, Tofu Hut. Did you get a
concussion, too?

Please, Miss Parker, can I just lay down
just for a moment?

I don't like grits and eggs.

That's quite tasty.

And that's where this came from. And I
ain't just talking grits.

You know, Ms. Parker, sometimes less is
more.

Too much salt?

No. What I'm saying is, you don't have
to come on so strong.

You know, you're an exceptional woman
who has accomplished a lot in the face

great odds.

Yes, I will marry you.

You're missing my point.

No, I get it.

Don't push so hard.

Push!

Harder! Are you sure you want it like
this, Professor?

I don't want to hurt you. Oh, hurt me,
Miss Parker.

Oh, yeah, like that.

Hurt me again.

Hey!

Come on, the match is about to start.

Stone Cold is ready to open up a can of
whoop -ass.

It's gonna take more than a can of whoop
-ass.

Where's Professor Ogilvy? Oh, he's
taking a shower.

Oh, I'll come back later.

No, no.

Kim, did you get everything?

Yes, I got the Italian bread, the garlic
butter, the Parmesan cheese, and the

lingerie. What kind of sandwich are you
making?

A man with teeth.

So what crazy things are you and T up to
today?

I'm not sure.

What's an Athlon?

Athlon?

Never heard of it. Why?

Well, T said something about triathlon,
so I said, sure, I'll try it.

Why are you putting up with this extreme
math?

Because T's extremely fun.

Hey, Nikki. Hey, babe. All right, kid, I
got a route all planned.

We'll do a 40 -mile bike ride, 26 -mile
run, and finish with a two -mile swim.

Why don't we start with a five -course
meal, take a 15 -minute nap, and enjoy a

two -hour movie?

I love your sense of humor. Come on,
let's do this. By the time I'm through

you... You be ready for the Olympics.
Yeah.

Or the grave.

Bye, Mommy.

I love you.

And so the dog chased me, and I jumped
on top of my father's car, and I started

crying, and everybody just laughed at
me.

No one helped?

They didn't have to because the dog
didn't have any teeth.

Poor baby, almost got gummed to death.

Thank you for your sympathy.

Surprise!

Who are you?

Who are you?

Veronica.

Stanley, what happened?

Well, I had a little accident in Tybo
class, but I feel much better now.

Miss Parker was kind enough to cook and
look after me.

Miss Parker, this is...

Veronica Cooper.

He had my girlfriend.

Girlfriend?

I mean, nice to meet you.

Likewise. Well, I hate that it took an
accident for it to happen, but I'm glad

Stanley finally hired a housekeeper.

How are you doing, Sadetti?

I am not the maid. Miss Parker is one of
my students.

Her? A student?

You must think I was born yesterday.

From those crow's feet around your eyes?

I don't think so.

Who is this woman? Miss Parker, could
you please just show her your school ID?

All right, I'll get my purse.

It's by the bed.

By the bed?

Veronica, look, it's not the way it
sounds. Oh, yes, it is.

And if you were so concerned for your
man, where were you when he needed to be

taken care of?

I'm not feeling so well.

I was in Australia on business, if you
must know.

They don't have phones in Australia?

They don't have nurses in Los Angeles?

Yeah, and they also have breath mints.
Try one.

I'm definitely going to be sick.

Excuse me.

Is this your idea of a first aid kit?

and forget it.

Stanley Ogilvie already has a good
woman, me.

And now that I'm back, your help is no
longer needed or wanted.

Goodbye, Miss Parker.

Oh, and here's a little something for
your troubles.

I'm sorry, Miss Cooper.

I know what this must have looked like
with me being in here with your man and

all. But you might think about this.

If he's your man, like you say, then why
hasn't he ever once mentioned your

name?

Of course, he's mentioned mine.

Just ask the neighbors.

Have a good evening.

And it took every ounce of strength I
had to keep me from asking her who did

hair.

to tear up the money?

Because I had to let that hustler know I
didn't need her money.

Okay, so why are you trying to piece it
together?

Because I just got my phone bill.

Now shut up and pass me that Benjamin's
nose.

Hi, Mama.

Hey, Deb.

What happened?

Have you been in a fight?

No, but I found out what triathlon
really means.

It's just another word for attempted
murder.

Well, baby, that's what you get for
trying to pretend to be something that

you're not.

You know, you're right, Mama.

I'm tired of eating like a bird, running
like a cheetah, and climbing mountains

like a billy goat.

So, you're through with tea?

I'm through sweating with tea.

Why are you here? Why aren't you at the
professor's?

She ran into a slight problem.

And what was that?

His girlfriend.

Girlfriend?

Mama, we need to stop acting like
busters, doing all this crazy stuff to

men. Shoot, you miss one bust, you get
on the next one.

You're right, baby, because... I have
too much going on to be chasing after

man. If he doesn't want me, that's his
loss.

Quick, that's tea, hide me.

I'll handle it, baby.

Professor.

Can I speak to you for a minute?

Sure, come in.

This won't take long.

Look, I just wanted to come by and
apologize for Veronica's behavior.

She was way out of line. I've never been
so embarrassed in my life.

Except for when you knock me out.

And the way you're looking at me right
now.

Professor, I would never hold you
responsible for that woman's actions.

Well, I also wanted to thank you for
taking care of me this weekend.

I owe you one.

Tell you what, a kiss and we'll call it
even.

I have something even better.

For me?

My way of saying thank you.

The poetry of Langston Hughes.

He's my favorite. Thank you.

I'll always cherish this.

Well... But I still want my kiss.

You cheated.

Good night, Stanley.

Who was that?

Your future stepdad.

I thought you had enough.

Shoot, I could never get enough of that.

Well, I can only handle it a couple of
times a week.

I can do it every day. Are you ready?

All right, let's go for it. Let me get
my towel.

Good idea, because that spicy pork ball
can get kind of messy.

Yeah, because that's how football can
definitely get...