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Rubbish. Hey, hold on. Who are you?
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Oh, I'm Wally Bogue. I'm the guest on
tonight's Muppet show.
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Wally Bogue.
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Balloon animals.
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Why, I haven't seen you in a long time,
old buddy. Remember me, Pops?
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Sorry, afraid I don't. Sure.
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Must have been someone else. I've never
been to Pittsburgh.
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There. Oh, it must have been someone
else. Well, sorry.
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I wanted to give the guy back the $10 he
loaned me.
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Oh, that pops.
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Good to see you again, pops.
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00:00:47,050 --> 00:00:50,370
It's the Muppet Show with our very
special guest star, Wally.
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Why do we always come here? I just will
never know.
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It's like a kind of torture to have to
watch the show.
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It's time to get things started.
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week we try to do a real old -fashioned
vaudeville show well this week we're
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going to succeed that's because in the
wings is that master vaudevillian and
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king of comedy mr wally bogue yes so
here for openers are the flying zucchini
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brothers and their human cannonball act
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your cannons and point them to the
heavens.
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That's squishy, squishy.
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And now, ladies and gentlemen, it's
ready for the big boom -a -boom -a.
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Brothers, signal when ready.
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Luigi! Luigi!
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the scenery.
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the Guinness Book of Records, on July
17, 1955, Wally Bogue opened the Golden
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Horseshoe Review in Disneyland.
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He's been doing five shows a day there
ever since, a total of over 32 ,000
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performances.
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Yes. So having achieved his feat, he's
decided to tempt fate and try to make it
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through one performance on The Muppet
Show. So here he is.
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in my purse, I've got balloons.
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I had balloons. Oh, well. Is there a
psychiatrist in the house? Nothing
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personal. It's just that I have a new
theory in psychiatry. I can tell
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troubles in their character by the way
they blow up a toy balloon.
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And it's much cheaper than a couch. Let
me show you how it works.
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For instance, the average normal person
will blow a balloon something like that.
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That's the average type. And then we
have a straightforward person.
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Straightforward type.
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Some people are a little backwards.
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Backwards? Yes, the backward type.
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Did you see that?
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Oh, I've got talent.
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Here's a scatterbrain. Their mind jumps
around a bit.
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Red balloons would do the same thing. I
think we'll get rid of that.
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Now, to get the message, you have a
person wrap up all of these thoughts,
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them all together, and you find out
something more about them.
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I've made quite a name for myself doing
this.
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I don't like it. Me either.
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You've heard of pink elephants?
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Here's someone who sees pink elephants
looking a little like that old pink
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elephant right there.
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Oh, you're so right. Let's take his
trunk here now and make a little
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out of it. I had an uncle who used to
see elephants when he was inebriated,
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drunk. He was a character. He was a
kleptomaniac.
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Kleptomaniac, that's a person who finds
things before you lose them.
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He's deformed. He only steals things
now, beginning with A. A watch, A car, A
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purse, A wallet, A rabbit. There's a
little rabbit thing up there now.
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Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
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Drew about to have a rabbit, washed his
hair, and couldn't do a thing with her.
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Perhaps you're right. This is just a
normal husband leading the life of a
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but he's a gay, debonair, French poodle
-type dog, and there's a little...
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problem there again.
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I had a little French poodle. I had to
sell my dog. He ran in front of a
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lawnmower and it cut off his tail.
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I sold him wholesale. I couldn't retail
him.
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Here's a near -sighted person.
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We'll just wrap these up and now see
what we have. Why don't you remember my
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name again, folks?
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Wally Bogue, because you'll be reading
about me in the newspapers.
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I smoke in bed.
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Here's a very fancy dog. This is a
police dog.
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You might not recognize him. He's in the
CIA.
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Same dog going around the corner.
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I'd like to make more for you, but
something happened to my balloons. I had
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00:07:07,860 --> 00:07:08,860
whole lot of balloons.
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There.
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00:07:21,540 --> 00:07:23,440
Can you tell anything about me from
this?
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Yeah, you got a round shape and you're
full of hot air.
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Oh, a green egg, Wally. I love that last
balloon.
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Oh, really? I thought I blew it.
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Hi, Miss Piggy.
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Yes, I hate playing dog acts.
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Professional jealousy.
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00:08:05,070 --> 00:08:09,210
On with the vaudeville show. Here's the
Muppet Show's answer to Lassie the
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Amazing Foo Foo and her equally amazing
trainer, Miss Pig.
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Ladies and gentlemen,
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Figured I was as close as she was going
to get.
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00:09:29,560 --> 00:09:31,040
We shall do it again.
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00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:33,220
This time let her finish.
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00:09:57,840 --> 00:10:01,720
Maybe that trick's too hard for her.
Have her do something simple like roll
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and play dead.
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00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:06,540
Why don't you roll over and drop dead?
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00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:12,400
If I wanted her to do something simple,
I would have had her play the piano and
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make dumb remarks.
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00:10:16,660 --> 00:10:19,620
Would everyone like to see Foo Foo
dance?
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singers who have all kissed the blarney
stone.
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another popular expression down the
drain? What's that?
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The luck of the Irish.
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00:12:53,870 --> 00:12:59,130
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
continuing with our vaudeville show,
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Bog time.
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And here he is to do the Highland Fling.
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Don't play me like that.
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Thank you. Thank you. I deserve it.
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00:13:14,090 --> 00:13:17,090
I am Scotch, you know. As a matter of
fact, it was my great -grandfather,
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McBogue, that gave me these very rare
McBagbird here.
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Isn't she pretty?
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Can't fly, but what a voice.
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00:13:24,730 --> 00:13:26,290
A little history on the Magbird.
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It was originated in Ireland in the 15th
century, and the Irish gave them to the
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Scots. And the Scots haven't caught on
to the joke yet.
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00:13:33,550 --> 00:13:35,850
For my first number, I play by ear.
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I play... I'm not well. My first number.
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Come on, baby.
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For its mummy.
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Yeah. Just relax.
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One more time.
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One more time.
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Oh, well. I'll give it a vitamin pill.
That might help. Actually, I would like
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to play.
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00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:05,640
I would like to play.
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00:14:05,860 --> 00:14:11,100
I've got to. A little song entitled, The
Girl Next Door Lived the Life of a Dog,
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So I Called Her Rover.
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I shouldn't have, should I?
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Here we go.
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Of course, a lot of people. A lot of
people.
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I'm talking. Do you mind?
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Thank you. A lot of people.
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A lot of people.
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I'll be right with you. A lot of people,
I hear you, have said, Wally, that's my
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00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:55,360
maiden name, is it possible to play a
melody on the bagpipes?
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Is it possible to play a melody?
133
00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:03,060
No. But I'd like to endeavor to play
Swanee River, and I wonder if the band
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would join me because I'm really coming
apart.
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00:15:06,940 --> 00:15:07,579
You ready?
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Swanee River.
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In the rock time.
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No hand.
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00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:56,080
Okay.
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00:16:02,340 --> 00:16:07,140
And now, ladies and gentlemen, a very
special lullaby in gibberish.
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There's a song that I recall my mother
sang to me.
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She sang it as she tucked me in when I
was 93.
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00:16:31,570 --> 00:16:32,990
Are you ready?
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This is it.
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00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:46,860
Nying -dong, nying -dong, nying -dong,
nying -dong, nying -dong, nying -dong,
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nying -dong, nying -dong, nying -dong,
nying -dong, nying -dong,
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nying
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00:16:54,040 --> 00:17:06,640
-dong.
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00:17:12,140 --> 00:17:13,240
Ow, I've had no game.
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00:17:54,530 --> 00:17:58,410
Okay, if anybody wants me, Pops, I'm
getting some fresh air. Oh, great. You
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watch the stage door while I'm away.
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00:18:01,110 --> 00:18:03,950
Hey, where are you going, Pops? Going to
watch this show.
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00:18:04,310 --> 00:18:05,730
Well, let me know how I was.
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00:18:08,930 --> 00:18:11,230
Introducing the astounding illusionist,
Dr.
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00:18:11,610 --> 00:18:14,270
Salamander, hypnotist, and newt. Yeah!
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00:18:17,890 --> 00:18:20,170
Aloha, Joe, and Elaine.
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00:18:22,450 --> 00:18:25,720
First, I need a bullet. tier from the
audience.
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00:18:26,020 --> 00:18:29,340
Sir, you with the mustache? Yes, in the
front row.
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00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:30,840
Somebody help him up.
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00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:35,920
Hey, get your dirty hands off my filthy
arm.
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00:18:37,540 --> 00:18:39,840
That's good, sir. Just step right over
here.
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00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:43,480
Wait a minute, Pops. What are you doing
in the audience?
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Come here to try to get some sleep.
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00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:51,300
Well, this is no time for that because I
am going to...
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00:18:56,620 --> 00:19:01,100
Then I will command you to float up into
the air, levitating against all laws of
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gravity.
167
00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:04,780
Wake up! Well, what is it now?
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00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:07,460
Now I'm going to put you to sleep.
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00:19:07,900 --> 00:19:09,760
You woke me up to tell me that?
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00:19:11,180 --> 00:19:12,180
All right.
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00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:14,000
Look it, just lie down here.
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00:19:14,380 --> 00:19:16,980
That's the first sensible thing you said
all evening.
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00:19:17,180 --> 00:19:21,900
All right, look into my eyes, and by the
time I count to ten, you will be
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totally under my power.
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One.
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Up you go.
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00:19:32,050 --> 00:19:33,950
Levitate. Rise.
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Rise. Up you go.
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00:20:00,270 --> 00:20:01,229
What do we do now?
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Never, never take the heart of hearing.
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00:20:04,690 --> 00:20:05,930
He's headed towards the backstage.
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00:20:06,370 --> 00:20:07,670
Scooter, do something.
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00:20:08,030 --> 00:20:09,750
I'll slam the stage door, boss.
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It's the one thing that always wakes
Pops up.
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Oh, hi, Wally. Oh, hi, Scooter. Am I on
yet? No, we're just waiting for this act
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to end. Good.
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00:20:22,110 --> 00:20:28,330
Now that looks like the end of an act.
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00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:36,540
Wally Boog and his world -famous western
sketch.
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I got the fastest draw in the West.
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You want to see it? Yeah!
191
00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:21,120
You want to see it again?
192
00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:25,500
Once was a drought spread up Texas.
193
00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:28,600
So the sunny California he didn't go.
194
00:21:29,180 --> 00:21:33,620
And though the gag is kind of corny, he
won't rain in California. That's the way
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00:21:33,620 --> 00:21:34,940
we got the Gulf of Mexico.
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00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:25,720
Just send us your dentist bill.
197
00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:26,880
No problem.
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00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:19,280
You know that Wally Bogue is a
multimillionaire. Oh, where'd he get his
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00:25:19,480 --> 00:25:20,480
The Tooth Fairy.
16078
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