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Hi, I'm Brian Henson.
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You know, comedy is really difficult.
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One thing that happens with comedy
writers is that they are all really good
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coming up with beginnings.
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Really good setups, but they can't
figure out how to pay them off. Hey,
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nice, but you know, if you keep
applauding, you won't hear my monologue.
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Okay, okay. Oh, but of course, that
doesn't mean I want you to sit on your
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hands. Don't worry, we won't. Good.
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Yeah, if we sit on our hands, we can't
throw things at you.
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Well, now I'll share with you one of the
real secrets to the Muppets. What my
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father figured out was, you know, if you
can't get out, you just either blow
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something up, or you eat something,
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or you just throw penguins in the air.
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And here it is, the Muppet Show.
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I'm Linda Ronstadt.
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I'm going to be the guest on your show.
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Oh, yeah, Linda Ronstadt.
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Oh, Kermit said to roll out the red
carpet for you.
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Got a little moth problem here?
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No big moth problem.
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It's the Muppet Show with our very
special guest star, Linda Ronstadt. Yay!
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It's time to put on makeup.
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It's time to dress up right.
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It's time to raise the curtain on the
Muppet Show tonight.
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Why do we always come here? I guess
we'll never know.
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It's like a kind of torture to have to
watch the show.
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It's time to get things started on the
most sensational, inspirational,
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celebrational, muffin -tational, this is
what we call The Muppet Show!
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Welcome!
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Thank you, thank you, and welcome again
to The Muppet Show! And you picked a
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great show not to miss because our guest
star is one of the great singers of all
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time, Miss Linda Ronstadt!
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But first, let's get things started with
Bugsy Salsa. Wait on his hypnotized
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horse.
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It sure is heavy.
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It should be. It contains my entire
fungus collection.
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Terrific. Oh, no. We forgot the mildew.
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Will you please watch it?
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Come eat. Come eat. Hey, is she here
yet?
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all dressed up.
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Well, of course. Linda Ronstadt is our
guest.
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Oh, yes, the girl singer.
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Oh, I just can't wait to meet her. She
is terrific.
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And besides that, she's a real foxy
lady.
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Foxy lady?
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Excuse me, I gotta get the flowers I
ordered.
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Flowers?
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Oh, good grief, it's what's -her -name
Ronstadt.
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Hi, Miss Peggy.
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Have you seen Kermit?
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Many times.
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I've never met him, and I'm such a fan
of his.
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Oh, are you really now?
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There's something about him. Oh, he's
just so earnest.
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Uh -huh.
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Dear, Kermit just might be behind stage.
Why don't you go have a look over
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there, and he can put on the rest of
your clothes.
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Time for decisive action.
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Well, Linda, I've got some flour.
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That should be decisive enough.
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Ladies and gentlemen, Kermit has asked
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a friend of his to introduce... What's
your face?
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I feel so bad I got a worried mind.
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I'm so lonesome all the time.
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Since I left my baby behind on Blue
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Bayou.
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Saving nickels, saving dimes.
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Until the sun don't shine Looking
forward to
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happy times I'll move by you
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to be with some of my friends.
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I'm going to see my baby again.
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Maybe I'll feel better again.
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Well,
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Well, it's okay by me if it's okay by
you.
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Local citizens have reported the
sighting of an unidentified flying
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When last seen, it was directly over the
Muppet newsroom.
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Little Benny had a cat
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that they wouldn't let him keep.
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So he put her up for sale at a price he
thought was cheap.
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He took her to a neighbor to ask him for
advice. He said, Just leave the kitty
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here. She'll help me with the mice.
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But the cat came back. She wouldn't stay
away. She was sitting on
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the porch the very next day.
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The cat came back. She didn't want to
roam.
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The very next day, it was home sweet
home.
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If Betty met a man who would drive the
cat, he would give the cat a ride.
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as a special honored guest.
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The steering wheel was wobbly. He drove
into a tree.
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The car was just a total wreck as anyone
could see.
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But the cat came back. She wouldn't stay
away. She was sitting on the
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porch the very next day. The cat came
back. She didn't want to roam.
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The very next day it was home sweet.
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Then he bought a gun from the human
cannonball.
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Put the cat inside the tridimensional
wall.
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When Benny pulled the trigger, the
cannon made a roar.
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The neighbors all surrendered because
they thought it was a war.
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But the cat came back. She wouldn't play
away. She was sitting on
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the porch on the very next day.
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The cat came back.
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She didn't want to roam.
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The very next day, it was home sweet
home.
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Last word. Here we go.
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Little Benny gave the cat to a man who
had a bomb.
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Took the cat away. She was acting cool
and calm.
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And then the bomb exploded. It made an
awful sound.
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The day looked for ages and the man
was...
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Stay calm.
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Very nice.
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Woof, woof.
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Meow.
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I see the cat came back.
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Yeah, well, we all came back. That's
because the number's over.
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Whoa, cat. Whoa. Whoa.
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Kermit.
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Have you seen Kermit? Oh, no. But it's
not like him to leave. I'll look for him
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for you. But don't touch that trunk.
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It's full of fungus.
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Yeah, thanks for the warning.
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Darn it.
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Let me out of here.
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I'm sorry about the smell.
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You come with the frog.
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Oh, Linda, I'm so glad you're doing this
show.
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Oh, I'm so pleased to be here.
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Oh, good. You know, I got some flowers
for you.
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Darn, they got crushed.
127
00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:46,500
Nothing wrong with crushes.
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Huh?
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I've got a crush on you.
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On me?
131
00:12:55,520 --> 00:12:56,520
Sweetie pie.
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Maybe I better go get dressed for my
next number.
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See you later, sweetie.
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ashamed of yourself.
135
00:18:39,710 --> 00:18:41,230
Oh. Look, and come in that trunk.
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00:18:41,750 --> 00:18:46,510
Um, the trunk, well, it's not a trunk.
It's a, um, sauna.
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00:18:47,470 --> 00:18:48,570
Yes, it's a sauna.
138
00:18:48,850 --> 00:18:50,750
Frogs love it. Dry heat, don't you know?
139
00:18:51,090 --> 00:18:52,410
Biggie, on stage now.
140
00:18:52,770 --> 00:18:55,210
Oh, yes, yes. I'll just take my prop
with me.
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00:18:56,410 --> 00:18:57,410
What's in that trunk?
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00:18:57,610 --> 00:19:00,370
I know, Linda, but the show must go on.
143
00:19:01,270 --> 00:19:02,270
Now.
144
00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:14,420
Two of the Swine Trek had captured a
deadly battle robot.
145
00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:17,060
Oh, a deadly battle robot.
146
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Oh, I'm so frightened.
147
00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:22,240
Where is the deadly battle robot, Link?
148
00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:25,060
First mate Piggy has it.
149
00:19:27,980 --> 00:19:30,140
Oh, that's a deadly battle robot?
150
00:19:30,580 --> 00:19:32,500
Looks like a steamer trunk.
151
00:19:33,560 --> 00:19:39,660
The deadly battle robots often disguise
themselves as steamer trunks.
152
00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:18,060
What happened to the deadly battle
robot?
153
00:20:18,460 --> 00:20:21,720
I don't know. I must have zapped it into
the fifth dimension.
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00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:24,120
Oh, thank you.
155
00:20:24,420 --> 00:20:25,600
Don't mention it.
156
00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:32,380
No, please don't take my frog away. I'm
taking him to a locksmith.
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Ha! Love laughs at locksmiths.
158
00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:38,160
Wait a minute.
159
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Are you actually trying to tell me
you're in love with Kermit?
160
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with white stuff in the middle?
161
00:20:56,410 --> 00:21:00,610
Linda, I do love coming.
162
00:21:01,790 --> 00:21:04,250
I do, I do.
163
00:21:05,250 --> 00:21:08,130
Hey, guys. Oh, oh, coming, coming.
164
00:21:08,670 --> 00:21:11,070
Here's the key. Here's the key. Take it.
We're coming.
165
00:21:11,550 --> 00:21:13,130
Listen, Piggy, I'll tell you what I'll
do.
166
00:21:13,470 --> 00:21:16,870
I'm going to dedicate our final duet to
just you and Kermit.
167
00:21:37,510 --> 00:21:42,090
Oh, Kermit, thanks for singing this song
for me, even though I know your heart
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00:21:42,090 --> 00:21:43,090
still belongs to Piggy.
169
00:21:43,310 --> 00:21:47,950
Well, you may know that, and Piggy may
know that, but the vote's not in yet
170
00:21:47,950 --> 00:21:48,950
the frog.
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00:21:49,590 --> 00:21:54,010
It's been nice being with you, even if
it's only been for a little while.
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00:22:40,650 --> 00:22:42,830
When I
173
00:23:28,810 --> 00:23:29,810
Bye.
174
00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:56,480
I didn't get to see more of it because
our guest star has been the very
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talented, the very beautiful Miss Linda
Ronstadt.
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00:24:59,440 --> 00:25:06,420
And it's been fun
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singing with the very cute and the very
green Kermit the Frog.
178
00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:13,400
Oh, thank you. And by the way, thank
you, could I have a goodnight kiss?
179
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Yes, you should.
180
00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:20,020
I mean, Miss Piggy. Oh, well, don't
worry about Miss Piggy because I've
181
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care of her. She will cause us no
problems.
182
00:25:33,449 --> 00:25:36,070
Maybe we just better shake hands and say
goodnight.
183
00:25:36,410 --> 00:25:39,050
You got it, kid. We'll see you next time
on The Muppet Show.
184
00:26:18,120 --> 00:26:22,040
I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't
watched it believe what I don't know I
185
00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:23,040
watching
14480
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