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Hi, I'm Brian Henson.
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This next episode of The Muppet Show
features Senior Wences, a puppeteer and
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ventriloquist, whose most famous
character, Johnny, was painted on his
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like this. Hello.
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In addition to his
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hand, Senior Wences' other characters
included Cecilia, a puppet chicken, and
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Pedro, a ventriloquist dummy head.
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That's right, just the head.
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which proved that Senior Wences was
sufficiently insane to work with the
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Muppets. Personally, I don't care for
puppets much. I don't find them
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believable. I don't believe you!
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There's even a second guest star, Bruce
Schwartz, who is a great puppeteer who
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performs a Japanese ghost story with
beautiful Japanese puppets.
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Here is The Muppet Show, starring Senior
Wences and Bruce Schwartz.
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Something terrible in this coffee.
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Oh, it's my finger.
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Hey, who are you?
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I am Señor Wences, the ventriloquist and
juggler. Oh, Señor Wences. Well, of
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course I knew you as a ventriloquist,
but I didn't know you as a juggler.
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It's time to play the music.
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It's time to light the light.
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It's time to meet the Muppets on the
Muppet Show tonight.
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It's time to put on makeup.
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It's time to dress up right.
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It's time to raise the curtain on the
Muppet Show tonight.
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Why do we always come here? I guess
we'll never know.
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It's like a kind of torture to have to
watch the show.
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It's time to get things started on the
most sensational, inspirational,
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celebrational, muffinational, this is
what we call the Muffin Show.
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What were you expecting, Rachmaninoff?
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Thank you, thank you, thank you, and
welcome again to the Muffin Show.
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And we've got a super surprise treat in
store for you.
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Because our guest star is one of the
world's great ventriloquists, the
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Senor Wences.
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Yes, and we also have a guest puppeteer,
Mr. Bruce Schwartz.
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Right, and so what we're doing, we're
going to switch the entire show around.
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It's a complete change of pace, folks.
Tonight, we're going to do a puppet
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Yes,
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yes, it's a real first. And now, to
start things off, Here is Pinocchio
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singing Puppet Man.
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Papa, Papa, you know it's true.
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I'm a puppet just for you.
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I'll do anything you say.
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I won't have it any other way.
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Take my heart and take my soul.
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I'm giving you complete control. If you
want to see me do my thing, pull my
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string.
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Pull my string?
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Papa,
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Papa, I'm your sweet pet.
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I'm just your personal marionette.
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Wind me up and let me go.
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Don't you know I'm a one -man show?
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Raise your finger and I'll perform.
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Cracker Jack to the crack of dawn. If
you want to see me do my thing, pull my
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string.
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Pull my string.
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If you want to see me do my thing, pull
my string.
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Yeah! If you want to see me do my thing,
pull my string.
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Personally, I don't care for puppets
much. I don't find them believable.
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I don't believe you.
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Okay, nice number, guys.
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Pinocchio, I have good news for you.
Because Dr.
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Bob agreed to do something about your
nose.
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Well, nose news is good news.
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Oh, boy. You know, I just love the show
tonight. I think the idea of an all
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-puppet show is not too shabby.
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Hey, Kermit, Kermit, Kermit. I want to
do a puppet act.
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Stand by for disaster.
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Hi, guys. Oh, Gonzo, hey, you want to do
a puppet act with me?
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Cue the disaster.
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It's a puppet.
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Oh, well, see... It's a doll made to
look alive by wiggling strings or
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your hand inside... Hands, like that.
What a stupid idea.
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Who wants to watch dolls wiggle?
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Well... I mean, even I wouldn't do an
act like that. Doll wiggling? Talk about
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boring.
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I didn't have the heart to tell him.
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And now tonight's special guest star,
ladies and gentlemen, one of our very
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favorite performers, the international,
the fabulous, the terrific, Senor
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Wenceslas! How
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do
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you feel today? No good. No good? No.
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Headache? Yes. Fever? Yes.
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Fever? No, no, no, no, no.
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Give me your breath.
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I don't think so. No, no. Open your
mouth, please.
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A little more.
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More. No, no, no, no.
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Too much.
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Open like me.
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Good. Show me your tongue.
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Very good.
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I have one idea, Johnny. Yes, yes.
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Do you remember the Spanish song? Yes.
Can you sing for me now, please? Okay.
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Okay. You alone.
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Very good, Johnny. Yes, yes. Nice.
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Very, very nice. Nice one. Yes, yes. I
like you very much. Thank you. You're
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welcome. This one is white? Yes, sir.
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Ready, my friend?
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No, no. Not yet. No, no. Okay?
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It's all right. All right, that's good.
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Would you like Pedro to sing with me?
Sure. Good. I have one idea.
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Before, we need to vocalize. Why?
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Very important.
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Because I need to know your lung
capacity. That's all. That's all.
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When you see me close, open the door,
don't you mind. No. You see, do this.
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Repeat.
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And repeat the same, you see the
difference.
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Quick.
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Very good. Very nice.
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You like it? Thank you very much.
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Now, Gianni.
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I have a very nice tree for you.
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Now? Now. Yes?
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Yes. Are you interested?
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Very. Thank you very much. You see? You
can do beautiful things. Slowly.
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Don't be nervous. What?
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You like it? Yes. Finish?
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No finish.
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Finish?
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Not yet.
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No? No.
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Finish?
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Not yet. I say not yet. Not yet?
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Not yet.
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Please. It's all right. All right.
Please. All right.
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What? Eh?
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Don't be nice.
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No, so close.
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I know what I am doing.
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Yes, but I don't.
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Tell me, Gianni, are you afraid?
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No. You're not afraid?
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No. Are you afraid?
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Not yet.
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All right, don't worry.
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You don't care, Pedro, if I open?
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No. Eh?
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Open. Open. Let's go.
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Don't worry.
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Please. Don't worry. And now you do
this. Look.
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And center.
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That's good.
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One o 'clock.
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It's nice, eh? Yes.
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Please. Don't worry.
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Don't worry.
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Close the door. All right.
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It's all right.
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Time once again for Veterinarian's
Hospital. The continuing story
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of a quack who's gone to the dogs.
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Dr. Bob, this is Pinocchio. He wants a
nose job.
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Listen,
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it's more than a job. It's a career.
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How'd his nose get so long? Was his
mother frightened by the Concord?
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Dr. Bob, he is made out of wood.
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Wood? Then he doesn't need a doctor. He
needs a tree surgeon.
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You don't understand. Every time I tell
a lie, my nose grows a foot.
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Then he needs a foot doctor.
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That's funny.
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Dr.
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Bob, with a nose like that, I wonder if
he has a keen sense of smell.
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I hope not. This sketch could kill him.
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Dr. Bob, you've got to help him shorten
his nose. He'll feel better. I got a
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better idea. I'll shorten the sketch and
then everybody will feel better.
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And so we come to the end. And so we
come to the end. Good. Of another
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veterinarian's hospital.
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Tune in next week when you'll hear Dr.
Bob say... Wait a minute. I just
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remembered. I can't operate on anybody
made out of wood. Why not?
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I can't stand the sight of sawdust.
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Okay. Decent. Fair.
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Great. I loved it. Ladies and gentlemen,
no puppet show would be
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complete without a performance of
Swedish bread lump puppetry.
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As demonstrated here by our own Swedish
chef.
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Wow, Tonya, if you could do that, we'd
have a great act. Go practice.
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Excuse me, Mr. Junior. Don't worry.
Yeah, I didn't want to interrupt you,
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Mr. the Frog wanted me to tell you that
the telephone in this dressing room is
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not working.
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This telephone?
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Yeah, that's the one. You made me laugh.
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Huh?
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Yeah.
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Yes, I was waiting for you for last two
weeks.
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Yes. Everybody nice.
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Yes, I know.
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Hey, what the heck?
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Yes, yes, yes, I know that.
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Yes.
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Yes,
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yes. Of course. He's here. No.
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I have a message for you. For me? Oh,
you must be mistaken.
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No mistake at all. It is the phone
company. They want you to stop breaking
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telephone.
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Okay?
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Okay. All right.
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Theater manager, green thing, and boss.
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Yes, Beauregard.
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Well, did you know that I have some
puppets?
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No. Yes.
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When I heard about the show tonight, I
brought them.
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Look.
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Hey, those look great.
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00:14:12,680 --> 00:14:16,120
Yes, and now I'm going to give you an
amateur puppet show.
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Oh, wonderful. I just love puppet shows.
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Great. Okay, I'll go down now.
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Whoops. Wrong one.
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Bravo, bravo. Thank you, thank you.
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Not you, Beau.
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Oh.
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Well, who are you?
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Oh, I am just a big friendly dog.
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Well, then why were you green?
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I am an Irish stinter.
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Oh, I hope you wouldn't bite my hand.
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Here.
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Oh, hey, you bit my thumb.
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Beauregard, you're not supposed to come
up.
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00:14:52,380 --> 00:14:53,700
Yeah, but he hurt me.
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00:14:53,920 --> 00:14:55,720
Oh, just watch it.
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Oh, well. Let's see. Where was I?
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Oh, I was going to bite you very badly.
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Oh, I hope you don't. I might have to
get out my stick.
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Well, that's too bad. Here I come.
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00:15:08,990 --> 00:15:12,850
Just a second. I'm watching that puppet
show right now.
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00:15:14,650 --> 00:15:18,110
Is this what you have booked on the show
tonight instead of moi?
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00:15:19,110 --> 00:15:20,049
Piggy, please.
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00:15:20,050 --> 00:15:23,790
I had a song for tonight, but you said
the dolls are going to be on.
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00:15:28,270 --> 00:15:29,830
Piggy, these are not just dolls.
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Puppetry is an art form, Piggy. Is that
violence art?
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Violence belongs with puppetry.
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That's Punch and Judy. They've always
been violent.
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00:15:39,270 --> 00:15:41,310
It's good. It's good. It's a good
aggressive behavior.
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00:15:41,650 --> 00:15:44,070
Better than my act? Piggy. I'll show you
aggressive.
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I'll show you behavior.
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I'll show you. I'll show you.
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Punch and Judy.
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We have with us one of the world's great
puppeteers. Oh, thank you, thank you.
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00:16:04,010 --> 00:16:10,270
You, Fozzie? I'm talking about Bruce
Schwartz. Oh, well, when you're ready,
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00:16:10,270 --> 00:16:12,390
ready. That's a mighty iffy win.
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00:16:13,790 --> 00:16:17,590
And now, ladies and gentlemen, with a
traditional Japanese ghost story, our
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guest puppeteer, Bruce Schwartz.
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00:18:28,430 --> 00:18:29,430
oh
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Boy, these puppets are really classing
things up around here. You think that's
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00:19:33,100 --> 00:19:34,860
classy? Look at Gumdrop the gorilla!
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00:19:36,980 --> 00:19:39,980
Gumdrop is part of your marionette act,
right? Yeah, yeah. See, he dances.
247
00:19:40,580 --> 00:19:42,040
Dance, dance, dance, dance.
248
00:19:42,300 --> 00:19:43,300
And then he talks.
249
00:19:44,120 --> 00:19:45,560
Hello, Mr. Frog.
250
00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:51,040
Huh? Huh? See, what's going to happen?
I'll open with Gumdrop the gorilla, and
251
00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:53,300
then I'll follow with the dancing clown.
252
00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:54,640
Huh?
253
00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:58,120
Yeah, well, Gumdrop looks a little
tangled up there.
254
00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:01,180
Oh, yeah, well, you have to know how to
do this.
255
00:20:01,900 --> 00:20:05,200
You've got to be a professional here.
See, what happens when the strings...
256
00:20:05,690 --> 00:20:11,850
All you have to do... I'll open with a
dancing clown.
257
00:20:12,610 --> 00:20:14,050
I'll introduce you. Thank you.
258
00:20:14,410 --> 00:20:16,070
Never thank the executioner.
259
00:20:16,270 --> 00:20:17,390
What? Nothing.
260
00:20:18,690 --> 00:20:20,350
All right, it's showtime!
261
00:20:23,210 --> 00:20:24,790
Wiggling dolls is weird.
262
00:20:25,350 --> 00:20:26,950
In fact, it might even be sick.
263
00:20:29,970 --> 00:20:32,690
Okay, well, I think there's no way to
avoid it, folks.
264
00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:36,900
So here he is, Fozzie Bear in his high
-strung marionette.
265
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:46,140
Oh, boy, this is terrific.
266
00:20:46,820 --> 00:20:48,480
This could be a whole new career.
267
00:20:49,120 --> 00:20:53,800
I mean, I've never felt so in command
before.
268
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:55,000
Look at that.
269
00:20:58,600 --> 00:21:01,980
Ha, it moves at my command.
270
00:21:03,660 --> 00:21:07,920
I pull the string, and it does anything
that I want it to.
271
00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:13,280
You know, I don't want to do this
anymore.
272
00:21:13,760 --> 00:21:14,760
Hey, you!
273
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:16,040
Rug face!
274
00:21:16,500 --> 00:21:17,680
What, me?
275
00:21:17,980 --> 00:21:19,580
Yeah, come here.
276
00:21:25,700 --> 00:21:27,420
It's all part of the act, folks.
277
00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:29,840
Come on!
278
00:21:31,360 --> 00:21:32,400
Ozzy was right.
279
00:21:32,700 --> 00:21:34,740
It's a terrific idea for an act.
280
00:21:36,060 --> 00:21:38,720
What do you know about it, Banana Beak?
281
00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:46,720
Poor Fuzzy. I don't know whether to
laugh or feel sorry for him. He wanted
282
00:21:46,720 --> 00:21:47,559
make us laugh.
283
00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:48,820
I feel sorry for him.
284
00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:53,500
Hey, Father, are you coming offstage or
what?
285
00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:57,840
Yeah, come on. Why don't you get a class
act? Boy, that was terrible, wasn't it?
286
00:21:58,040 --> 00:22:02,600
Just hush, hush up. Quiet down,
everybody. Be quiet.
287
00:22:02,860 --> 00:22:05,820
We're trying to watch the Senor's big
finale.
288
00:22:06,060 --> 00:22:09,000
Yeah, well, you won't get to see it
unless you show a little respect and
289
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:12,400
up. We won't get to see him if you don't
show a little respect and go out and
290
00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:13,400
introduce him.
291
00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:17,380
Quiet, quiet. Shh, shh, shh. Quiet.
292
00:22:21,290 --> 00:22:25,810
And now, ladies and gentlemen, once
again, here is our very super special
293
00:22:25,810 --> 00:22:27,130
star, Señor Wences.
294
00:22:28,630 --> 00:22:35,610
Can we please,
295
00:22:35,710 --> 00:22:37,350
what is your first name? Cecilia.
296
00:22:37,630 --> 00:22:38,630
Oh, Cecilia.
297
00:22:38,730 --> 00:22:39,750
And second name?
298
00:22:40,090 --> 00:22:41,090
Chicken. Chicken.
299
00:22:41,810 --> 00:22:43,730
My name is Señor Wences.
300
00:22:44,770 --> 00:22:47,190
This is Gianni.
301
00:22:50,190 --> 00:22:51,190
Nice boy.
302
00:22:51,210 --> 00:22:52,410
You like Cecilia?
303
00:22:52,770 --> 00:22:54,450
Yes. Thank you. Thank you.
304
00:22:54,650 --> 00:22:56,150
Thank you. Thank you.
305
00:23:06,130 --> 00:23:12,490
Tell me, Cecilia, please, what is that?
306
00:23:12,810 --> 00:23:13,810
My son.
307
00:23:14,570 --> 00:23:16,050
Your son or your daughter?
308
00:23:16,390 --> 00:23:17,209
My son.
309
00:23:17,210 --> 00:23:19,270
How do you know? I know my business.
310
00:23:20,899 --> 00:23:23,560
Can you help me, please? Now? Now, yes,
please.
311
00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:27,440
Yeah?
312
00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:29,040
Mary?
313
00:23:30,580 --> 00:23:31,680
Moreno is not here.
314
00:23:31,980 --> 00:23:32,980
No, no, I'm sorry.
315
00:23:33,220 --> 00:23:34,220
Señor Benz speaking.
316
00:23:34,420 --> 00:23:35,420
Remember me?
317
00:23:35,460 --> 00:23:36,439
Oh, no.
318
00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:37,419
No? Why?
319
00:23:37,420 --> 00:23:38,299
I don't know.
320
00:23:38,300 --> 00:23:39,300
The ventriloquist.
321
00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:41,460
The ventriloquist.
322
00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:43,280
How are you?
323
00:23:43,660 --> 00:23:44,660
Very well, please.
324
00:23:44,820 --> 00:23:46,640
Will you do me a favor? Call your
brother.
325
00:23:47,100 --> 00:23:48,420
Luis, very important, please.
326
00:23:49,020 --> 00:23:50,020
Nice kiss.
327
00:23:50,900 --> 00:23:51,900
Thank you.
328
00:23:52,540 --> 00:23:55,580
To me. To you? Yes, yes, yes. Please, my
nice boy.
329
00:23:56,040 --> 00:23:57,440
Thank you. Once to me.
330
00:23:57,980 --> 00:23:58,980
To everyone.
331
00:23:59,100 --> 00:24:00,680
Not to me. Don't worry, don't worry.
332
00:24:01,540 --> 00:24:04,500
Hello? Yeah, how are you, friend? Good.
333
00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:07,960
Excuse me, I called you in very, very
bad moments. Excuse me. Yeah, one
334
00:24:08,580 --> 00:24:12,740
Yesterday, I spoke with the pianist,
Mr... What is the name? Manolo.
335
00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:14,400
Manolo. Manolo.
336
00:24:14,500 --> 00:24:18,100
Yeah. I would like you to come tomorrow
morning, plenty of time.
337
00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:19,560
To study the song.
338
00:24:19,820 --> 00:24:21,780
Tomorrow morning. Tomorrow morning. One
more second, please.
339
00:24:22,100 --> 00:24:24,960
At what time rehearsal tomorrow morning?
Eight o 'clock or ten o 'clock?
340
00:24:25,160 --> 00:24:31,480
Ten. Ten? Yes, ten o 'clock, no? I don't
care. Ten o 'clock tomorrow morning.
341
00:24:31,700 --> 00:24:32,800
Tomorrow morning. Don't forget.
342
00:24:33,020 --> 00:24:34,100
No, no, no.
343
00:24:34,420 --> 00:24:36,680
Thank you very much. Okay. Okay, okay.
344
00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:37,920
Okay, okay.
345
00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:38,960
All right.
346
00:25:02,380 --> 00:25:03,380
Puppet Puppet Show.
347
00:25:03,860 --> 00:25:07,640
But before we go, let us thank our
guest, Bruce Schwartz, and our
348
00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:09,100
guest, Arsenio Wences.
349
00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:15,300
Thank you for having me, Danny.
350
00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:18,960
Oh, well, it's been a pleasure, and I'd
like to apologize for Fozzie's puppet
351
00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:21,680
act. I like that very much. Come in,
come in.
352
00:25:21,980 --> 00:25:22,980
Ha, ha, ha.
353
00:25:23,340 --> 00:25:25,540
How about a new act here, huh? Terrific.
354
00:25:30,540 --> 00:25:31,539
It's sensational.
355
00:25:31,540 --> 00:25:33,180
What a feeling of power.
26488
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