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1
00:00:00,300 --> 00:00:04,800
Yeah, send me over a peanut butter and
jelly sandwich and make sure it talks.
2
00:00:07,300 --> 00:00:08,580
Uh, who are you?
3
00:00:09,300 --> 00:00:13,060
I'm Glenda Jackson and you must be Pops
the doorman. And I'm Eric.
4
00:00:13,500 --> 00:00:14,500
Glenda Jackson?
5
00:00:15,040 --> 00:00:16,280
No, Eric.
6
00:00:16,540 --> 00:00:17,740
Not the famous actress?
7
00:00:18,080 --> 00:00:21,200
Yes. That's right, Eric, not the famous
actress.
8
00:00:22,060 --> 00:00:25,880
Beats me why you stars hang around with
creeps like that.
9
00:00:26,180 --> 00:00:28,440
I'm not his creep, I'm his limousine.
10
00:00:28,720 --> 00:00:29,720
Drive on!
11
00:00:43,850 --> 00:00:44,850
very special guest star.
12
00:01:09,610 --> 00:01:11,250
It's time to put on makeup.
13
00:01:11,530 --> 00:01:13,250
It's time to dress up right.
14
00:01:13,650 --> 00:01:16,690
It's time to raise a curtain on the
Muppet Show tonight.
15
00:01:17,190 --> 00:01:21,270
Why do we always come here? I guess
we'll never know.
16
00:01:21,730 --> 00:01:25,390
It's like a kind of torture to have to
watch the show.
17
00:01:36,170 --> 00:01:39,350
It's time to get things started on the
most sensational, inspirational,
18
00:01:40,070 --> 00:01:41,630
celebrational, motivational.
19
00:01:42,250 --> 00:01:44,710
This is what we call.
20
00:01:57,580 --> 00:02:01,800
And we have some wonderful things
planned for the show tonight. We have
21
00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:03,400
centipede tag team wrestling.
22
00:02:03,660 --> 00:02:08,220
We have the singing marinated turnips.
And best of all, we have the fabulously
23
00:02:08,220 --> 00:02:10,100
versatile actress Glenda Jackson.
24
00:02:11,340 --> 00:02:16,960
Yes, but first, but first, here is Gonzo
the Great in a semi -autobiographical
25
00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:19,460
extravaganza. Ladies and gentlemen,
Gonzo the Great!
26
00:02:27,910 --> 00:02:34,070
I had just got out from the county
prison Doing 90 days for non -support
27
00:02:34,070 --> 00:02:40,850
Tried to find me an executive position
But no matter how smooth I
28
00:02:40,850 --> 00:02:47,230
talk They wouldn't listen to the fact
That I was a genius The man say we got
29
00:02:47,230 --> 00:02:49,890
that we can use Now I got them
30
00:02:58,990 --> 00:03:03,210
In an air -conditioned office in a
swivel chair.
31
00:03:04,830 --> 00:03:10,690
Talking some trash to the secretary
saying, Here now, mama, come on over
32
00:03:11,410 --> 00:03:15,270
And I'm stuck here rubbing these sandals
with a rag.
33
00:03:15,530 --> 00:03:18,010
And walking home in soggy old shoes.
34
00:03:18,450 --> 00:03:21,190
With them deadly depressants.
35
00:03:28,590 --> 00:03:32,650
I feel a tick, he should be smoking on a
big cigar.
36
00:03:33,370 --> 00:03:38,510
But till I get myself straight, I guess
I'll just have to wait in my rubber
37
00:03:38,510 --> 00:03:39,990
suit, rubber knees car.
38
00:03:42,250 --> 00:03:46,630
Well, all I can do is to shake my head.
39
00:03:46,850 --> 00:03:49,370
You might not believe that it's true.
40
00:03:50,870 --> 00:03:56,770
Working at the end of Niagara Falls,
it's undiscovered Howard Hughes.
41
00:04:13,650 --> 00:04:17,610
Oh, Miss Leghorn, would you take a
letter?
42
00:04:20,610 --> 00:04:23,890
Forget the letter, Miss Leghorn. Let's
think the afternoon.
43
00:05:02,990 --> 00:05:03,889
what you say.
44
00:05:03,890 --> 00:05:05,290
I thought I was dumb.
45
00:05:05,850 --> 00:05:06,850
Maybe you're right.
46
00:05:10,670 --> 00:05:11,670
Ahoy there.
47
00:05:12,270 --> 00:05:16,790
Oh, ahoy, Glenda. May I come in? Come
aboard, Officer of the Watch.
48
00:05:17,210 --> 00:05:18,490
Pipe the frog aboard.
49
00:05:22,630 --> 00:05:24,750
Thank you. I just wanted to make sure
you were comfortable.
50
00:05:25,010 --> 00:05:27,430
Me? Oh, any old port in a storm?
51
00:05:28,110 --> 00:05:29,610
I'm sorry I've been so busy.
52
00:05:30,150 --> 00:05:32,490
Bilge wash. I'm glad to see you run a
tight little ship.
53
00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:35,560
Glinda, do you have any connection with
the sea?
54
00:05:38,020 --> 00:05:43,280
Meet Black Jackson, the heartless pirate
captain.
55
00:05:44,260 --> 00:05:49,280
And I, B. Eric, the heartless pirate
parrot.
56
00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:53,500
That's silly. You're not a parrot.
You're a penguin.
57
00:05:54,260 --> 00:05:56,040
This be a disguise.
58
00:05:57,480 --> 00:05:59,080
Oh, yeah? Well, take it off.
59
00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:01,720
No.
60
00:06:03,180 --> 00:06:05,120
What's the matter? Aren't you wearing
your parrot suit underneath?
61
00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:07,440
And get it, Crumple.
62
00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:17,300
He do be a ruthless, heartless pirate,
but he do like his privacy.
63
00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:22,960
Wait a second. I didn't order that music
sting.
64
00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:25,700
No, I did. I'm taking over.
65
00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:27,580
Oh, you and whose army?
66
00:06:35,280 --> 00:06:40,680
One, two, three, four. You go stealthy
now, and we do be masters of this tub.
67
00:06:41,820 --> 00:06:45,020
Wait a minute. You can't take over my
theater with this motley band.
68
00:06:45,580 --> 00:06:49,740
They will have the help of short John
Silver.
69
00:06:51,900 --> 00:06:53,720
That too, sweetums?
70
00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:58,420
Actually, I think he ate three. Perhaps
you'd better count the chickens.
71
00:07:23,549 --> 00:07:29,730
It goes with a hitch and hangs a lot.
72
00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:45,300
That was not too terrific.
73
00:07:45,660 --> 00:07:48,320
It'd not be our fault. No one showed us
the ropes.
74
00:07:48,980 --> 00:07:49,980
Oh, it's yours.
75
00:07:50,260 --> 00:07:51,260
It's going to yours.
76
00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:58,760
Oh, it's... I have
77
00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:01,620
told you never to do that when I am
giving orders.
78
00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:05,200
How come he doesn't have that patch over
his eye?
79
00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:07,660
He's daddy and dick.
80
00:08:15,500 --> 00:08:20,120
sure. No, we are not, you silly frog.
We've cast off to look for buried
81
00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:21,180
treasure. What?
82
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:26,200
Buried treasure. You know, pieces of
eight, doubloons, 15 men on a dead man's
83
00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:29,900
chest. Hold it, hold it, hold it. That's
ridiculous.
84
00:08:30,180 --> 00:08:34,000
I am not going to go along with anything
ridiculous like that. Oh, yes, you are.
85
00:08:52,270 --> 00:08:53,270
but he learns good.
86
00:08:53,630 --> 00:08:55,470
Cast off the bow line!
87
00:08:55,930 --> 00:08:58,370
Hey! Cast off the stern line!
88
00:08:58,850 --> 00:09:01,130
Cast off the punch line!
89
00:09:01,710 --> 00:09:02,710
Yeah!
90
00:09:02,930 --> 00:09:05,090
Wait a second. This is a theater.
91
00:09:05,390 --> 00:09:06,870
Oh, it is, is it?
92
00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:22,160
Nice special effect.
93
00:09:23,780 --> 00:09:25,220
You think we tied him too tight?
94
00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:27,740
No, no, no. His eyes were always like
that.
95
00:09:32,760 --> 00:09:39,160
And now, ladies and gentlemen, we
present that fabulous... Folks, things
96
00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:42,520
little weird here tonight, so try and
bear with us. And to help you bear with
97
00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:46,160
us, we have a bear with us. The king of
near -miss comedy, five...
98
00:09:52,010 --> 00:09:56,450
Thank you and thank you. Hey, did you
hear about the new sport they have?
99
00:09:56,490 --> 00:10:00,870
you walk through five miles of poison
ivy. It's called itch hiking.
100
00:10:24,850 --> 00:10:29,090
I know, isn't it amazing? I could never
pass my driving test, but all this seems
101
00:10:29,090 --> 00:10:30,090
to come very naturally.
102
00:10:32,950 --> 00:10:36,430
Come in!
103
00:10:41,750 --> 00:10:42,750
Come in!
104
00:10:43,230 --> 00:10:44,850
Puzzy, where's he doing your monologue?
105
00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:15,640
Is the walloping window blind?
106
00:11:15,940 --> 00:11:19,860
The wind that blew can dismay her crew.
Or trouble the captain's mind.
107
00:11:20,300 --> 00:11:24,540
The man of the wheel can't help but feel
content for the wildest blow.
108
00:11:26,560 --> 00:11:29,780
Though it often appears when the titan
kills him.
109
00:12:15,310 --> 00:12:16,310
The captain tickles the crew.
110
00:12:16,670 --> 00:12:21,090
Not bad, but he's totally mad. It's on
the after rate.
111
00:12:22,970 --> 00:12:27,630
And why is the loose of the captain
boots in the teeth of a raging gale?
112
00:13:44,110 --> 00:13:48,750
one could be sweeter than my sweetie
when I greet her in the morning
113
00:13:48,750 --> 00:13:55,670
where the morning glories
114
00:13:55,670 --> 00:14:02,070
twine around the door whispering
115
00:14:02,070 --> 00:14:08,510
pretty stories pretty stories pretty
stories I long to hear once more
116
00:14:08,510 --> 00:14:14,960
back back back strolling with my girlie
where the dew is pearly early in the
117
00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:15,960
morning.
118
00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:24,940
Butterflies will flutter up and kiss
each little buttercup at dawn.
119
00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:32,000
If I had Aladdin's lip for only a day,
120
00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:38,760
I'd make a wish and here's what I'd say.
I thought nothing could be
121
00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:42,440
finer than to be in Carolina in the
morning.
122
00:15:03,460 --> 00:15:07,160
If I had a lens pack for all...
123
00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:42,420
doing you're supposed to be setting up
the next act oh i'm feeling a little c6
124
00:15:42,420 --> 00:15:44,500
boss nonsense you never looked better
125
00:16:17,260 --> 00:16:18,179
how to talk.
126
00:16:18,180 --> 00:16:23,860
No, the first school for talking parrots
began over 2 ,000 years ago by one of
127
00:16:23,860 --> 00:16:27,240
Ben Hur's great aunts. Was it any good?
128
00:16:27,560 --> 00:16:31,600
You mean you haven't heard of the famous
parrots of Ben's aunts?
129
00:16:34,300 --> 00:16:40,240
You know that pirate they call Peg Leg?
He's a pretty good dancer.
130
00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:44,060
Of course. I know I've seen him
somewhere before.
131
00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:45,520
Oh, where was that?
132
00:17:00,530 --> 00:17:03,430
No. Well, all real pirates have a ring
in their ear.
133
00:17:03,650 --> 00:17:04,650
I never heard that.
134
00:17:38,030 --> 00:17:42,350
I see. Well, can you tell us a little
about yardarm hanging?
135
00:17:42,630 --> 00:17:46,470
Well, the main thing is you've got to
never look down.
136
00:17:46,830 --> 00:17:49,590
That way you may get dizzy and fall.
137
00:17:50,170 --> 00:17:55,050
Ah, yes, I can understand that. How high
up is this yardarm?
138
00:17:55,370 --> 00:17:56,750
Golly, I don't know.
139
00:17:56,970 --> 00:17:59,490
Oh, this must be a hundred and
something.
140
00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:18,799
Feeling okay?
141
00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:21,300
Why? Well, you look kind of green.
142
00:18:22,460 --> 00:18:23,740
I'm always green.
143
00:18:24,420 --> 00:18:25,840
Well, how do you know when you're sick?
144
00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:31,000
Oh, good luck, Shaggy.
145
00:18:31,300 --> 00:18:32,420
Don't do that.
146
00:18:34,340 --> 00:18:36,460
Sorry. Who is he?
147
00:18:36,740 --> 00:18:39,240
That's Shaggy Sanchez and his bomb
balancing act.
148
00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:41,980
We do the bomb balancing act?
149
00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:44,740
Yeah. It's a good thing the sea is
calmer than it was.
150
00:19:24,810 --> 00:19:26,290
show must go on, but they never say why.
151
00:19:26,510 --> 00:19:30,390
Well, right now, the show must not go
on, because I quit. I give up. Our guest
152
00:19:30,390 --> 00:19:33,390
star is a pirate. The theater is sailing
out to sea, and I'm losing my mind.
153
00:19:33,950 --> 00:19:36,510
No, you can't stop the show now, not
before the grand finale.
154
00:19:36,950 --> 00:19:38,090
What grand finale?
155
00:20:32,650 --> 00:20:34,250
I'll do something terrible to your
front.
156
00:23:55,850 --> 00:23:59,130
Possibly. Oh, yes. Wait a minute. Wait a
minute. I'm trying to get started with
157
00:23:59,130 --> 00:24:00,270
you. Quick, hurry up there.
158
00:24:00,710 --> 00:24:03,830
You know, Glenda, I really believe
you're an honest business pirate.
159
00:24:04,030 --> 00:24:08,830
Oh, really? That's very kind of you.
Yeah, okay. Well, there she is. Now,
160
00:24:08,830 --> 00:24:09,850
the real Glenda Jackson.
161
00:24:11,710 --> 00:24:12,710
You're all...
162
00:25:14,030 --> 00:25:15,030
this thing a crow's nest.
163
00:25:17,350 --> 00:25:19,190
Get out of my nest, you dummies.
13489
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