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Hi, I'm Brian Henson.
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Brooke Shields was the youngest guest
star to appear on The Muppet Show. She
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00:00:13,860 --> 00:00:15,220
only 15 at the time.
4
00:00:15,660 --> 00:00:17,140
Hi, I'm Alice. Who are you?
5
00:00:17,380 --> 00:00:20,160
Oh, no time for that. I'm looking for a
hole.
6
00:00:20,460 --> 00:00:21,580
Looking for a hole?
7
00:00:21,900 --> 00:00:22,900
A hole what?
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00:00:24,100 --> 00:00:29,060
Because she was only 15 when she did the
show, she was only allowed to shoot a
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few hours each day.
10
00:00:30,580 --> 00:00:33,880
So when she wasn't shooting, she liked
to hang around the Muppet Workshop and
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00:00:33,880 --> 00:00:34,960
help build characters.
12
00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:36,200
In fact...
13
00:00:36,510 --> 00:00:40,070
There's one number in which she actually
helped build the slithy toes
14
00:00:40,070 --> 00:00:41,070
characters.
15
00:00:41,890 --> 00:00:48,570
This particular sketch is described by
Scooter in the show
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00:00:48,570 --> 00:00:52,370
as the weirdest thing the show has ever
done, and he may be right.
17
00:00:53,010 --> 00:00:56,970
At least you're in the scene so you know
what it is. Have you seen the scene?
18
00:00:57,110 --> 00:00:59,690
Even when you know what it is, you don't
know what it is.
19
00:01:00,030 --> 00:01:02,150
Here it is, Brooke Shields in The Muppet
Show.
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00:01:10,670 --> 00:01:14,230
I'm your guest, Brooke Shields. Oh, yes,
Brooke Shields.
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00:01:14,590 --> 00:01:15,690
Here's your script.
22
00:01:16,370 --> 00:01:17,370
Thank you.
23
00:01:18,190 --> 00:01:21,810
Gee, this is Alice in Wonderland. I
thought I was doing something called The
24
00:01:21,810 --> 00:01:22,729
Muffin Show.
25
00:01:22,730 --> 00:01:23,930
Oh, dear, oh, dear.
26
00:01:24,170 --> 00:01:25,670
I'm late. I'm late.
27
00:01:26,690 --> 00:01:29,070
That answer your question?
28
00:01:29,890 --> 00:01:30,890
No.
29
00:02:23,109 --> 00:02:27,290
It's time to get things started.
30
00:02:28,730 --> 00:02:35,680
I'm the most sensational, inspirational,
celebrational mother... This is what we
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00:02:35,680 --> 00:02:38,400
call The Muppet Show!
32
00:02:41,100 --> 00:02:45,300
Excuse me.
33
00:02:46,860 --> 00:02:51,080
Thank you, thank you, thank you, and
welcome again to The Muppet Show. And
34
00:02:51,080 --> 00:02:55,180
going to have a very special show for
you tonight. Our guest star is one of
35
00:02:55,180 --> 00:02:58,680
brightest new talents in the film world,
Miss Brooke Shields.
36
00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:03,020
Yes, and with Brooke, we're going to
tell you the story of...
37
00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:07,520
Alice in Wonderland. You all know Alice
in Wonderland. It's all crammed with
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00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:10,740
warm, lovable characters and cute,
fluffy little bunny rabbits.
39
00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:15,120
Look, either you tell me where the
rabbit hole is or I tear your head off.
40
00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:17,780
Just back behind the curtains.
41
00:03:18,100 --> 00:03:19,100
Thanks.
42
00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:23,260
And also cruel, heartless, violent
little bunny rabbits.
43
00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:28,460
Anyhow, something for everyone in Alice
in Wonderland.
44
00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:47,520
Oh, no time for that.
45
00:03:47,740 --> 00:03:48,980
I'm looking for a hole.
46
00:03:49,280 --> 00:03:50,380
Looking for a hole?
47
00:03:50,780 --> 00:03:51,780
A hole what?
48
00:03:53,220 --> 00:03:55,200
I hate smart Alice's.
49
00:03:57,100 --> 00:03:58,260
Oh, look, there it is.
50
00:04:38,850 --> 00:04:40,410
We're having a jam session.
51
00:04:40,710 --> 00:04:41,710
Want to sit in?
52
00:04:43,250 --> 00:04:47,890
Hey there, Miss Alice, if you're near
the palace, just drop in.
53
00:04:48,150 --> 00:04:51,210
I'm quite good at dropping. I've been
practicing a long time now.
54
00:04:52,710 --> 00:04:56,890
If you're really racing that rabbit
you're chasing, get hot.
55
00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:27,760
with a cook who keeps breaking the
dishes.
56
00:05:28,100 --> 00:05:31,320
A caterpillar on a mushroom who's
smoking a hookah.
57
00:05:31,680 --> 00:05:34,520
Hookah, hookah, hookah, the hookah.
58
00:05:35,420 --> 00:05:37,340
That's very bad for your health, you
know.
59
00:05:37,620 --> 00:05:40,460
A teapot that has a mouse in it.
60
00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:44,560
Things get badder and badder by the
minute.
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00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:47,660
Curiouser and curiouser is the
expression, I believe.
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00:05:48,100 --> 00:05:51,760
Wait till the scene where the crazy old
queen wants your head.
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00:05:54,570 --> 00:05:55,590
I won't survive the fall.
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00:05:56,310 --> 00:06:01,170
Feels like you're bound to a merry -go
-round you can't get off.
65
00:06:02,990 --> 00:06:07,830
Don't be surprised if you meet Captain
Hook. Cause our version won't.
66
00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:17,520
Alice in Wonderland?
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00:07:17,820 --> 00:07:19,340
I thought we were doing Peter Pan.
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00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:23,840
It's Alice in Wonderland now. Go change,
Fozzie. Yes, sir.
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00:07:24,160 --> 00:07:25,340
Anybody got a can opener?
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00:07:26,460 --> 00:07:29,140
Hey, Carmen, I don't remember the Tin
Woodsman and Peter Pan.
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00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:30,359
Oh, it doesn't matter.
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00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:32,280
Where's Miss Piggy? Is she in her Queen
of Hearts costume?
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00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:34,420
Oh, that's another one of our problems.
What?
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00:07:56,240 --> 00:07:57,400
because that's who you are.
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00:07:57,940 --> 00:08:02,780
Queen of... Yes, queen of hearts. That
suits us.
76
00:08:03,420 --> 00:08:07,020
If anyone can portray royalty, it is we.
77
00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:12,820
Oh, Floyd, Floyd, what are you doing
here? You're supposed to be on stage.
78
00:08:13,620 --> 00:08:15,680
Not in this jive caterpillar outfit.
79
00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:18,400
I hate caterpillars.
80
00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:22,300
Listen, Floyd, you can take your place
on stage or in the unemployment line.
81
00:08:30,380 --> 00:08:33,860
Thank you, Alice in Wonderland. We
should have done something simple, like
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00:08:33,860 --> 00:08:34,860
and peace.
83
00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:41,039
Kermit has very graciously asked me to
introduce the next scene in Alice in
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00:08:41,039 --> 00:08:42,940
Wonderland. So he wouldn't have to come
out here.
85
00:08:43,659 --> 00:08:46,840
So here it is, the next scene from Alice
in Wonderland.
86
00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:49,060
Scooter, tell them what it is.
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00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:51,160
Well, what is it? It's the caterpillar
scene.
88
00:08:51,500 --> 00:08:52,840
Oh, the caterpillar scene.
89
00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:38,840
You eat.
90
00:10:16,590 --> 00:10:20,250
It looked like you were having a ball
out there. I'll say. Of course, having a
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00:10:20,250 --> 00:10:22,870
ball is only proper for a caterpillar.
Oh?
92
00:10:23,150 --> 00:10:27,130
Yeah, you see, my mother was a moth, and
I'm sure you've heard of moth balls.
93
00:10:28,290 --> 00:10:31,130
Okay, mad tea party on stage next. Mad
tea party.
94
00:10:31,370 --> 00:10:35,610
Kermit, Kermit, I refuse to go along
with Brooke. Why? I mean, I've played
95
00:10:35,610 --> 00:10:39,170
the big stars before, but she is
definitely out of my league.
96
00:10:39,410 --> 00:10:42,090
Oh, I know she's a big star. Do you know
how big?
97
00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:43,350
No, how big?
98
00:10:51,560 --> 00:10:52,600
It'll do it every time.
99
00:10:53,420 --> 00:10:54,480
What do I do now?
100
00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:57,720
Well, let's go to your dressing room.
We'll figure something out.
101
00:10:57,940 --> 00:11:00,700
Okay. Scooter, would you get somebody to
stall on stage?
102
00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:01,960
All right, boss.
103
00:11:02,540 --> 00:11:04,320
Gee, hey, Gonzo, who do we have?
104
00:11:04,580 --> 00:11:05,660
Well, there's Humpty Dumpty.
105
00:11:05,860 --> 00:11:11,360
Oh, could you have all the king's horses
and all the king's men standing by just
106
00:11:11,360 --> 00:11:14,060
in case? No, don't worry. You'll be
terrific.
107
00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:15,340
Gritty! Come on, guys.
108
00:11:16,920 --> 00:11:19,300
Say, was that a tie he was wearing or a
belt?
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00:11:19,540 --> 00:11:20,700
I don't know. That's wardrobe.
110
00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:22,120
It's not my department.
111
00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:36,080
At the risk of laying a bomb with you,
or at least a little bomblet, I'd like
112
00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:41,800
to announce I'm preparing to play the
lead in Shakespeare.
113
00:12:02,060 --> 00:12:07,600
They'll say that the way I tell jokes is
very close to human. So tomorrow I go
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00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:13,260
to a studio to record my first record,
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00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:15,120
Albumen.
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00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:19,680
These are the jokes, folks.
117
00:12:20,020 --> 00:12:21,040
These are the jokes.
118
00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:06,840
who produced the effect.
119
00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:09,760
Oh, you better do something. I can't go
through life this tall.
120
00:13:11,820 --> 00:13:13,740
I hear there's money in basketball.
121
00:13:15,460 --> 00:13:16,460
Fine, son.
122
00:13:16,580 --> 00:13:21,340
Sorry. Don't worry, my dear. You should
start becoming smaller any minute.
123
00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:23,160
Oh, yes, you're right.
124
00:13:23,780 --> 00:13:24,840
Oh, thank goodness.
125
00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:29,300
You're welcome. In no time at all,
you'll be your normal size again.
126
00:13:46,860 --> 00:13:48,320
I should have done the muffin show
instead.
127
00:13:52,940 --> 00:13:53,940
Everything's going wrong.
128
00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:56,580
Kermit won't let me play the Ken
Woodman.
129
00:13:56,960 --> 00:13:58,380
Bunton shrank the guest star.
130
00:13:58,580 --> 00:14:00,340
Old Humpty Dumpty's had an accident.
131
00:14:00,660 --> 00:14:02,380
Now Dr. Bob is trying to fix him up.
132
00:14:02,580 --> 00:14:03,580
Yeah, but that's good.
133
00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:05,620
With sausage and chips?
134
00:14:07,460 --> 00:14:11,120
Listen, Bear, you worry too much. Look
at me. I'm always smiling.
135
00:14:11,500 --> 00:14:14,080
Yeah, but you're the Cheshire Cat.
You're supposed to smile.
136
00:14:15,630 --> 00:14:21,110
When you're smiling, yes, when you're
smiling, then the whole world smiles
137
00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:26,490
you. And when you're laughing, oh, when
you're laughing, then the sun comes
138
00:14:26,490 --> 00:14:27,490
shining through.
139
00:14:27,970 --> 00:14:29,770
Come on, Fozzie, smile.
140
00:14:30,370 --> 00:14:32,050
Please, I'd rather be miserable.
141
00:14:32,590 --> 00:14:35,970
There are smiles that make you happy.
142
00:14:53,740 --> 00:14:55,840
What's smiling got to do with the
weather? Oh, a lot.
143
00:14:56,180 --> 00:14:58,540
Great skies are bound to clear up.
144
00:14:59,020 --> 00:15:01,320
Put on a happy face. Oh, yeah.
145
00:15:01,540 --> 00:15:03,620
Brush off the clouds and cheer up.
146
00:15:04,060 --> 00:15:05,880
Put on a happy face.
147
00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:09,300
Take off the gloomy mask of tragedy.
148
00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:11,320
It's not your style.
149
00:15:11,780 --> 00:15:16,040
You look so good that you'll be glad you
decided to smile.
150
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:30,980
Happy days are here again.
151
00:15:31,220 --> 00:15:34,240
The skies above are clear again.
152
00:15:34,460 --> 00:15:39,860
Let us sing a song of cheer again. Happy
days are here again.
153
00:15:40,900 --> 00:15:46,620
Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank
you. You made me so happy. Thank you all
154
00:15:46,620 --> 00:15:47,620
here. Yes.
155
00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:49,240
I'm so depressed.
156
00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:56,220
Lewis Carroll's most beloved poems.
157
00:15:56,560 --> 00:15:59,820
Make this a good intro, Chief. This
scene needs all the help it can get.
158
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:04,120
Well, at least you're in the scene so
you know what it is. Have you seen the
159
00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:07,160
scene? Even when you know what it is,
you don't know what it is.
160
00:16:07,740 --> 00:16:11,080
Uh, uh, uh, ladies and gentlemen,
Jabberwocky.
161
00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:23,720
It was thrilling, and the slidey -toes
did gyre and gimble in the rain.
162
00:16:24,300 --> 00:16:29,560
All mimsy where the boar goes, and among
us outgray.
163
00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:39,500
Beware the jabberwock, my son, the jaws
that bite, the claws that catch.
164
00:16:39,700 --> 00:16:45,320
Beware the jub -jub bird, and shun the
frumious bandersnatch.
165
00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:52,560
He took his vorpal sword in hand, long
time the manxum foe he sought.
166
00:16:55,880 --> 00:17:00,240
So rested he by the tum -tum tree, and
stood a while and thought.
167
00:17:00,820 --> 00:17:01,820
Hmm.
168
00:17:02,140 --> 00:17:08,260
And as enoughish thought he stood, the
Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
169
00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:12,900
came whiffling through the tolgy wood,
and burbled as he came.
170
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:14,200
Burble, burble.
171
00:17:14,460 --> 00:17:15,460
Burble, burble.
172
00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:16,800
Aha!
173
00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:19,280
One, two, one, two.
174
00:17:19,500 --> 00:17:23,520
And through and through, the Vorpal
Blade went snicker snack.
175
00:17:31,530 --> 00:17:32,530
a lumping back.
176
00:17:32,950 --> 00:17:39,090
A lump, a lump, a lump, a lump, a lump,
a lump, a lump, a lump. Ah, then hast
177
00:17:39,090 --> 00:17:40,850
thou slain the Jabberwock?
178
00:17:41,270 --> 00:17:43,890
Come to my arms, my famous boy.
179
00:17:44,170 --> 00:17:45,990
Oh, frat, just stay.
180
00:17:46,190 --> 00:17:47,410
Calloo, callay.
181
00:17:47,730 --> 00:17:49,390
He chortled in his joy.
182
00:17:50,390 --> 00:17:55,530
Twas brillig, and the slidey toves did
gyre and gimble in the wave.
183
00:17:55,790 --> 00:17:59,690
All mimsy were the borogoves and the
momerats.
184
00:18:00,050 --> 00:18:01,050
Out.
185
00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:07,280
I tell you, this is the weirdest thing
we've ever done on this show.
186
00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:09,220
It was an outrage.
187
00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:13,480
Can I just put on my body and go home?
188
00:18:14,580 --> 00:18:16,300
Well, you should quit while you're
ahead.
189
00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:20,400
Brooke?
190
00:18:21,940 --> 00:18:22,940
Brooke?
191
00:18:23,360 --> 00:18:26,880
Listen, Brooke, you're so tiny now I'm
scared I'm going to step on you. Give me
192
00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:27,880
some idea where you are.
193
00:18:33,930 --> 00:18:35,910
Not now, Piggy. But look out for the
guest star.
194
00:18:36,670 --> 00:18:40,950
Kermit, I would have been here earlier,
but I was busy learning my line.
195
00:18:43,070 --> 00:18:44,890
Wait a second, Piggy. Don't walk over
here.
196
00:18:45,230 --> 00:18:47,270
One lousy line in the trial scene.
197
00:18:47,510 --> 00:18:48,510
Do you want to hear my role?
198
00:18:48,650 --> 00:18:50,090
No. Off with his head.
199
00:18:50,910 --> 00:18:52,410
Kermit, I tell you... Piggy, don't move!
200
00:18:53,870 --> 00:18:57,050
I'm sorry, but Brooke has shrunk so
small that we can't find her. So watch
201
00:18:57,050 --> 00:18:57,989
step. What?
202
00:18:57,990 --> 00:19:00,510
Yeah, but don't worry, because I'm going
to cancel the whole trial scene anyway.
203
00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:36,160
Yeah, but how can we hold a trial
without Alice?
204
00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:37,620
Will you please be quiet?
205
00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:39,360
Yeah, but what's the point? Hush!
206
00:19:39,820 --> 00:19:40,719
Who are you?
207
00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:41,720
I'm the...
208
00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:35,280
Gas in.
209
00:21:44,170 --> 00:21:45,330
She's her normal size again.
210
00:21:45,810 --> 00:21:49,450
Everybody on stage, that's it. The Mad
Tea Party next. The show's not over.
211
00:21:50,450 --> 00:21:52,090
Well, you can't say he isn't flexible.
212
00:21:54,950 --> 00:21:57,850
Okay, well, here it is, folks, and it's
going to be fantastic.
213
00:21:58,210 --> 00:22:02,630
The Mad Tea Party starring Brooke
Shields. Oh, please let it be fantastic.
214
00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:39,760
And it's not!
215
00:24:09,070 --> 00:24:10,070
We're here. We're here.
216
00:25:19,180 --> 00:25:20,180
you get the chance.
217
00:25:20,340 --> 00:25:21,340
Me too.
218
00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:25,720
Anyway, congratulations on being the
Muppet Show's youngest ever guest star.
219
00:26:18,440 --> 00:26:19,440
What's that noise?
220
00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:22,460
I think that's Lewis Carroll turning
over in his grave.
17804
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