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Hi, I'm Brian Henson.
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The Muppet Show was originally shot in
Elstree, just north of London.
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00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:14,500
And it was a wonderful process to watch.
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You walk out of these dingy London
streets and then you go inside the
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There's brightly colored, crazy,
frenetic energy.
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The way the show was shot, though, is it
took three frantic days to shoot each
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episode. One thing that was amazing is
the audience, for some reason, always
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thought that the show was shot live,
which always astounded me, because if
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watch The Muppet Show, every shot is a
special effect.
10
00:00:39,120 --> 00:00:42,500
There's a little trick going on
everywhere, and it took a lot of time
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00:00:42,500 --> 00:00:44,060
of effort to sort of pull that together.
12
00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:49,100
Of course, the real audience for The
Muppet Show, as you see in the show, is
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00:00:49,100 --> 00:00:49,769
bunch of...
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muppet monsters and various creatures
because we always knew they would flap
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the right times the monsters in the
audience particularly enjoyed this show
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00:00:57,830 --> 00:01:04,750
i hope you do too enjoy it's
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the muppet show with our special guest
stars the mum and john
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It's time to put on makeup.
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It's time to dress up right.
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It's time to get things started.
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No, please don't make me watch it.
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It's time to get things started on the
most sensational, inspirational,
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celebrational, marketational. This is
what we call.
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00:01:58,960 --> 00:02:02,760
Welcome again to The Muppet Show, and a
rather unusual one we have planned,
25
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because our special guest stars are the
unique masked theater group from
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Switzerland known as the Momenchants.
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But right now, let's get things started
with Floyd, Scooter and the Gang, and
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Mr. Bassman!
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Hey, Mr.
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Bassman, you've got that certain
something.
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00:02:26,530 --> 00:02:27,530
Hey, Mr.
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Bassman, you set that music pumping. To
you, it's easy.
33
00:02:31,870 --> 00:02:36,350
When you go one, two, three, ba -ba -ba
-ba -ba. You mean ba -ba -ba -ba -ba -ba
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-ba -ba -ba -ba. Yeah. Hey, Mr.
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Bassman, you're on all the songs with a
ba -ba -ba -ba -boom -boom and a ba -ba
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-ba -ba -boom -boom -ba -ba. Hey, Mr.
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Bassman, you're the hidden king of rock
and roll.
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00:02:50,970 --> 00:02:51,970
Oh,
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well, it don't mean a thing when the
leader's singing.
40
00:02:55,790 --> 00:03:00,250
Or when he goes, aye, aye, aye, aye,
aye, aye, aye. Hey, Mr.
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00:03:00,530 --> 00:03:04,810
Baseman, I'm asking just one thing. Will
you please teach me?
42
00:03:05,090 --> 00:03:07,030
Yeah, the way you sing, Mr.
43
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Baseman. I want to be a baseman, too.
44
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Like this.
45
00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:18,120
Now you.
46
00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:21,720
With me.
47
00:03:28,540 --> 00:03:32,000
Well, it don't mean a thing when the
leader's singing.
48
00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:35,900
For when he goes, I hear it.
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00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:41,800
Mr. Bassman, I think I'm really with it.
Hey, Mr. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,
50
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boom, boom,
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00:03:46,020 --> 00:03:47,020
boom,
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00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:59,040
boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,
boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,
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00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:00,120
boom, boom, boom,
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00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:02,080
boom.
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00:04:08,870 --> 00:04:10,290
Pinion! Pinion!
56
00:04:10,670 --> 00:04:11,790
Arthur! Arthur!
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A work of art! Brilliant!
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00:04:13,650 --> 00:04:14,970
What was that about?
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That was about a minute and a half.
60
00:04:19,990 --> 00:04:21,990
Hello? Is this dial a joke?
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Fish got to swim.
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Bird got to fly.
63
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I've got to love one frog till I die.
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What is this?
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My dearest piggy.
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You must know how much I love you.
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I cannot pretend any longer. I will wait
for you in the dressing
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room, mon cher.
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Oh, it has happened.
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00:04:54,020 --> 00:04:58,280
Oh, my Kermit has admitted his love for
me at last.
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And now he waits with...
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Our special guest, the Momenchants, is a
group of performers who, while they're
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kind of distant cousins to the Muppets,
they use a unique mixture of pantomime
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and masks that's about as difficult to
describe as to pronounce.
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Ladies and gentlemen, the Momenchants.
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00:07:56,940 --> 00:07:58,180
Fantastic. Incredible.
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They remind me of puppets.
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00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:02,960
Puppets. I've always hated puppets.
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00:08:03,420 --> 00:08:05,140
You're a traitor to your class.
80
00:08:05,380 --> 00:08:07,220
What class? I never even graduated.
81
00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:18,620
She kissed me. She put her arms around
me and she kissed me. It was a case
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of mistaken identity.
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Hug me, Miss Piggy. Hold me. I will not.
84
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Hug you, you twit turkey?
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Hold my hand, pig of my dreams.
86
00:08:32,190 --> 00:08:33,890
Will you beat it, twerp?
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Just touch me, you hog of my heart.
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Here's a touch for you, wimp buzzard.
Unready.
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She touched me. She
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00:08:50,110 --> 00:08:53,510
swung her porky pinkies and she touched
me.
91
00:10:58,670 --> 00:11:02,550
The moment shots do some very strange
looking things. Things that look like
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00:11:02,550 --> 00:11:03,550
this.
93
00:11:27,340 --> 00:11:28,720
Then there's something that goes like
this.
94
00:11:43,820 --> 00:11:44,900
And how about this one?
95
00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:12,320
How long we been going together anyway?
96
00:12:12,660 --> 00:12:14,160
Oh, about ten years.
97
00:12:14,440 --> 00:12:16,100
Well, it's time we got married.
98
00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:18,140
Oh, gee, it's so sudden.
99
00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:24,480
There is such riffraff here.
100
00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:28,300
Wouldn't you rather be associated with a
better class of people?
101
00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:32,020
Yeah, but you were the only one not
dancing.
102
00:12:34,480 --> 00:12:35,480
Animal,
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00:12:37,380 --> 00:12:39,600
my watch won't run.
104
00:12:40,970 --> 00:12:42,810
Here, I run it for you.
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00:12:45,530 --> 00:12:52,150
You are one
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00:12:52,150 --> 00:12:56,670
cute tomato, my little dumpling, my
little cupcake, my little lamb chop.
107
00:12:56,870 --> 00:13:01,730
Oh, that makes me feel so, so...
Amorous? Let's kiss.
108
00:13:02,050 --> 00:13:03,870
No, hungry. Let's eat.
109
00:13:06,770 --> 00:13:09,870
You know these jokes they give us each
week?
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00:13:10,250 --> 00:13:12,970
You know, they make me so mad I can blow
my top.
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00:13:13,290 --> 00:13:14,290
Me too.
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00:13:14,670 --> 00:13:15,670
Ladies first.
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00:13:18,590 --> 00:13:20,910
Ah, I feel better now.
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00:13:29,890 --> 00:13:34,970
Oh, my heart is beating wildly.
115
00:13:35,970 --> 00:13:37,450
And it's...
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00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:44,400
because you're here when I'm not near
the fish
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00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:51,260
I love I love the fish I'm near every
fin
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00:13:51,260 --> 00:13:58,040
that flutters by me is a flame that must
be
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00:13:58,040 --> 00:13:59,040
fanned
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00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:06,860
When I can't fondle the fin that I'm
fond of, I fondle the fin
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00:14:06,860 --> 00:14:08,180
at hand.
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00:14:08,860 --> 00:14:15,860
I love every flipper of each little
kipper, for each one is
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hipper, my dear.
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When I'm not near the fish I love, I
love the
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00:14:25,300 --> 00:14:27,140
fish I'm near.
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00:14:47,160 --> 00:14:49,620
For herring, I'm caring.
127
00:14:49,980 --> 00:14:55,640
For tuna, I swoon. I'm faithful to
whoever's here.
128
00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:59,060
When I'm not near.
129
00:14:59,610 --> 00:15:05,050
The fish I love, I love the fish I'm
near.
130
00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:29,100
spend a few moments talking to the guest
stars, but in this case, the moment
131
00:15:29,100 --> 00:15:30,680
shots don't talk, do you?
132
00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:36,380
Yeah? Oh, well, in that case, say
something.
133
00:15:37,340 --> 00:15:38,340
I mean, say anything.
134
00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:39,700
It doesn't have to be important.
135
00:15:40,360 --> 00:15:41,640
You can say something silly.
136
00:15:43,820 --> 00:15:45,120
Ask for silly, you get silly.
137
00:15:49,340 --> 00:15:51,720
Does anybody have anything important to
say?
138
00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:53,680
Yeah?
139
00:16:10,410 --> 00:16:13,030
that thought, we bid goodbye to the talk
spot for another week.
140
00:16:16,190 --> 00:16:17,430
Bravo! Bravo!
141
00:16:17,770 --> 00:16:19,310
What are you bravoing about?
142
00:16:19,690 --> 00:16:20,689
That performance.
143
00:16:20,690 --> 00:16:25,450
It was first rate. Yes, it was good, but
only one act I've ever seen deserved a
144
00:16:25,450 --> 00:16:27,430
bravo. Oh, really? Who was that?
145
00:16:27,710 --> 00:16:30,990
Lady Beth McIntosh and her singing
parakeets.
146
00:16:31,390 --> 00:16:33,530
I'll never forget her closing night at
the palace.
147
00:16:33,770 --> 00:16:34,770
What happened?
148
00:16:34,870 --> 00:16:38,890
Well, she fell into a box of bird seed
just before going on stage.
149
00:16:39,390 --> 00:16:41,570
and she was pecked to death by the
parakeets.
150
00:16:42,330 --> 00:16:43,750
That's a hard act to follow.
151
00:16:44,090 --> 00:16:45,970
Yeah, well, I was there, and I cried.
152
00:16:46,650 --> 00:16:47,770
Really? What did you cry?
153
00:16:48,230 --> 00:16:49,230
Bravo! Bravo!
154
00:16:52,770 --> 00:16:54,410
Oh, here she comes. Get down. Get down.
155
00:16:55,210 --> 00:16:56,750
Oh, hiya, Piggy, my dear.
156
00:16:57,970 --> 00:17:00,390
Did you call me my dear, Kermie?
157
00:17:00,650 --> 00:17:04,250
Indeed I did. I was just wondering if
you'd like to go to dinner after the
158
00:17:07,310 --> 00:17:10,650
Quiet candlelit meal with soft music,
perhaps some wine.
159
00:17:11,609 --> 00:17:14,790
And then go dancing and walk by the
river in the moonlight.
160
00:17:15,010 --> 00:17:18,390
Oh, I would love those things, my dear.
161
00:17:18,790 --> 00:17:22,849
Good. So would Gonzo here. And I hope
the two of you have a great evening.
162
00:17:25,270 --> 00:17:26,270
Kissy kissy.
163
00:17:28,930 --> 00:17:31,510
I'm going to cut you in half for this,
frog.
164
00:17:34,350 --> 00:17:36,230
It is my distinct pleasure.
165
00:17:36,700 --> 00:17:41,940
this time to present wayne and wanda of
whom noted composer and conductor
166
00:17:41,940 --> 00:17:47,840
leonard bernstein wrote these two are a
manifestation of the musical
167
00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:51,920
mediocrity that passes for talent in our
troubled times
168
00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:10,100
Say it's only a paper moon hanging over
a...
169
00:18:10,100 --> 00:18:22,040
Hello,
170
00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:30,520
I am Ventiface. Simply insert coin in
slot, step
171
00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:33,320
up to machine, and I will...
172
00:18:39,040 --> 00:18:41,340
Phase one.
173
00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:47,920
Is
174
00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:56,220
this
175
00:18:56,220 --> 00:18:57,220
good?
176
00:19:14,510 --> 00:19:15,930
Gonzo, wasn't it?
177
00:19:16,750 --> 00:19:19,730
Well, well, Piggy, I suppose it was.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
178
00:19:20,010 --> 00:19:21,010
Oh, really?
179
00:19:21,250 --> 00:19:26,570
Oh, how sweet of you to apologize so
abjectly to your lover, Pig.
180
00:19:26,810 --> 00:19:29,650
Well, it wasn't exactly an abject
apology. Get away!
181
00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:52,240
Well, Piggy, while I appreciate this
offer of affection, I hope you
182
00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:55,600
when I tell you, as usual, that I do not
want you.
183
00:19:55,940 --> 00:19:57,460
Oh, then can I have her?
184
00:19:59,180 --> 00:20:05,480
That is known as getting two turkeys
with one chuck.
185
00:20:11,680 --> 00:20:13,360
Here's a Muppet newsflash.
186
00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:15,840
Date line Moscow.
187
00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:21,900
Sergei... whom the Russians claim is the
world's oldest living human, celebrated
188
00:20:21,900 --> 00:20:25,500
his 196th birthday yesterday by taking a
deep breath.
189
00:20:26,780 --> 00:20:33,700
Sergei has 96 children, 150
grandchildren, and 228 great
190
00:20:33,700 --> 00:20:34,700
whom visit him.
191
00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:39,220
Said his youngest son, Leonid, he smells
funny.
192
00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:45,760
Ladies and gentlemen, the moment chance.
193
00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:30,980
Well, that's about all the time we have.
Oh, Kermit, my love, I am so sorry
194
00:24:30,980 --> 00:24:35,700
about my little temper tantrum. Old
Buzzard Beak was driving me crazy.
195
00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:37,160
What?
196
00:24:37,700 --> 00:24:40,400
You drive me crazy, Miss Piggy.
197
00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:43,420
You know something, nasty nose?
198
00:24:43,920 --> 00:24:48,820
I'm going to send you on a one -way trip
to the geek farm, Cindy.
199
00:24:58,860 --> 00:25:00,800
course of true love never runs smooth.
200
00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:05,100
But right now, let's have a warm thank
you to our special guest stars, Andres
201
00:25:05,100 --> 00:25:08,700
Bossard, Floriana Frosetta, and Danny
Kirk, better known as the Muppet Show.
202
00:25:11,120 --> 00:25:12,120
Thank you.
203
00:25:12,540 --> 00:25:13,540
It's been great.
204
00:25:14,180 --> 00:25:16,020
Say, you guys really do work as a team.
205
00:25:16,240 --> 00:25:18,220
We'll see you all next time on the
Muppet Show.
206
00:25:56,520 --> 00:25:57,520
Yes, it was.
207
00:25:57,840 --> 00:25:59,500
I wonder if they meant it that way.
16166
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