Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,780 --> 00:00:06,360
It's the Muppet Show with our special
guest star, Miss Ruth Buzzy.
2
00:00:16,140 --> 00:00:17,880
It's time to play the music.
3
00:00:18,160 --> 00:00:19,880
It's time to light the light.
4
00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:23,220
It's time to meet the Muppets on the
Muppet Show tonight.
5
00:00:24,380 --> 00:00:26,140
It's time to put on makeup.
6
00:00:26,420 --> 00:00:28,140
It's time to dress up right.
7
00:00:28,520 --> 00:00:31,560
It's time to raise the curtain on the
Muppet Show tonight.
8
00:00:34,890 --> 00:00:38,830
I finally found the sure way to lose
weight. I bought a scale that lies.
9
00:00:43,750 --> 00:00:49,730
To introduce our guest star, that's what
it's time to do. So it really makes me
10
00:00:49,730 --> 00:00:53,430
happy to introduce to you, Miss Ruth
Buzzy.
11
00:01:00,110 --> 00:01:01,770
Now let's get started.
12
00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:13,200
Hi,
13
00:01:18,880 --> 00:01:22,320
gang, and welcome to the show. Hey, I
feel good tonight for two reasons.
14
00:01:22,540 --> 00:01:26,020
One, Scooter's uncle has extended the
lease on our theater, which gives us a
15
00:01:26,020 --> 00:01:27,020
roof over our head.
16
00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:31,080
And two, our special guest star is Miss
Ruth Buzzy, which is enough to make
17
00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:34,110
anyone feel good. But right now,
let's... Get the show underway with some
18
00:01:34,110 --> 00:01:35,430
musical mayhem. Hit it, boys.
19
00:01:44,470 --> 00:01:48,910
Yesterday my life was filled with rain.
20
00:01:49,590 --> 00:01:55,750
You smiled at me and relieved
21
00:01:55,750 --> 00:01:57,270
the pain.
22
00:01:58,690 --> 00:02:02,110
Our days are done. We are here.
23
00:02:15,619 --> 00:02:18,180
Thank you for the sunshine.
24
00:02:18,620 --> 00:02:25,520
Thank you for the love you brought my
25
00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:26,520
way.
26
00:02:36,520 --> 00:02:37,660
I love you.
27
00:02:37,940 --> 00:02:38,940
Bastard!
28
00:02:40,180 --> 00:02:41,480
Sonny! Sonny!
29
00:02:41,940 --> 00:02:43,240
Thank you for that.
30
00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:48,300
Sonny. Thank you for that.
31
00:03:39,790 --> 00:03:42,010
But who's responsible for it? Oh, I am.
32
00:03:42,530 --> 00:03:45,530
Scooter, what makes you think you can
bring a crate into the backstage?
33
00:03:46,110 --> 00:03:48,850
My uncle owns the theater. And a nice
crate it is, too.
34
00:03:49,310 --> 00:03:52,050
May I ask you, what is in it? Sure, go
ahead.
35
00:03:52,290 --> 00:03:57,310
What is in it? Oh, well, it's a
mechanical wind -up TV show host. A
36
00:03:57,310 --> 00:04:01,870
wind -up TV show host. Right. That is
the dumbest, the craziest, most
37
00:04:01,870 --> 00:04:02,870
idea you...
38
00:04:11,150 --> 00:04:12,490
frog, his uncle owns the theater.
39
00:04:54,950 --> 00:04:57,630
You are so lovely. Have I ever seen you
in the movies?
40
00:04:57,950 --> 00:04:59,410
Well, I don't think so.
41
00:04:59,630 --> 00:05:00,870
I hardly ever go.
42
00:05:03,410 --> 00:05:05,970
Don't you feel stupid with three feet?
43
00:05:06,350 --> 00:05:08,650
Sure, but the other one didn't come back
from the cleaner.
44
00:05:37,390 --> 00:05:38,390
stretch my legs.
45
00:05:38,830 --> 00:05:40,050
I'd do it for you.
46
00:05:44,570 --> 00:05:51,470
Wow, time soon for the handsome frog
here to make another one
47
00:05:51,470 --> 00:05:54,390
of his introductions. I will check
myself and see how I look in the mirror.
48
00:06:20,780 --> 00:06:21,759
TV show host.
49
00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:23,200
That was a gift from his uncle.
50
00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:25,000
Welcome to the show.
51
00:06:30,160 --> 00:06:36,640
With a few exceptions, the characters on
this program are weird and peculiar and
52
00:06:36,640 --> 00:06:41,780
not to be trusted. One of those
exceptions, aside from myself, of
53
00:06:41,780 --> 00:06:46,200
wonderful singing team of Wayne and
Wanda.
54
00:06:46,420 --> 00:06:49,640
They've really rehearsed this one, so
they're sure to get it right.
55
00:06:50,030 --> 00:06:53,450
Here they are, one and one to us. Row,
row, row.
56
00:06:58,850 --> 00:07:02,650
And Johnny Jumpy had a cute little boat.
57
00:07:03,410 --> 00:07:07,010
And all the girlies I would take for a
float.
58
00:07:07,730 --> 00:07:11,630
He had girlies on the shore.
59
00:07:12,650 --> 00:07:14,530
With little peaches.
60
00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:49,200
just been kidnapped.
61
00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:53,140
Disappearance of the ocean was first
reported by lighthouse keeper Murray
62
00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:57,780
Patterson. He was awakened late last
night when 500 fish pounded on his door
63
00:07:57,780 --> 00:07:58,780
asking for water.
64
00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:02,760
Authorities suspect that the ocean is
being held prisoner in an apartment
65
00:08:02,760 --> 00:08:04,020
somewhere in Newark.
66
00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:06,920
The ransom note has reportedly been
received.
67
00:08:07,260 --> 00:08:11,300
The kidnappers are demanding two
Christmases each year and a hug from
68
00:08:11,300 --> 00:08:12,300
every night.
69
00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:22,500
loved on Laugh -In and hundreds of other
shows, a comedian, an actress, a
70
00:08:22,500 --> 00:08:27,360
singer, a dancer, and a lot of fun at
parties, our guest star, Miss Ruth
71
00:08:46,060 --> 00:08:49,240
You're just... Too good to be true.
72
00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:55,420
You are just too great.
73
00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:41,700
You may not know this, but I'm really a
very sentimental dog.
74
00:11:42,020 --> 00:11:43,560
I cry easily.
75
00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:47,300
Onions, for instance, always make me
cry.
76
00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:56,760
I'll admit, I split bananas, take Easter
eggs, and make them die.
77
00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:04,480
But I never harmed an onion, so why
should they make me
78
00:12:04,480 --> 00:12:05,480
cry?
79
00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:09,020
Once I saw a salad dressing.
80
00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:13,360
My face got radish, my oh my.
81
00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:17,780
But I never harm an onion.
82
00:12:18,160 --> 00:12:21,760
So why should they make me cry?
83
00:12:23,260 --> 00:12:29,580
Potatoes I've mashed and berries I've
crushed. I've made an artichoke and
84
00:12:29,580 --> 00:12:30,980
that's not all.
85
00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:35,380
I've also whipped cream and beaten an
egg.
86
00:12:36,010 --> 00:12:39,470
Yes, I've even made a melon ball.
87
00:12:39,890 --> 00:12:42,710
Of all the things above, I'm guilty.
88
00:12:43,250 --> 00:12:46,670
If punished, I would know just why.
89
00:12:47,570 --> 00:12:51,110
But I never harmed an onion.
90
00:12:51,570 --> 00:12:55,190
So why should they make me cry?
91
00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:21,480
Oh, Kermit, I never chew the fat.
92
00:13:21,780 --> 00:13:26,280
Uh, yeah, well, I... Uh -uh, no, no, fat
is not good for you. Fat is a no -no.
93
00:13:26,420 --> 00:13:29,180
In fact, every time I see fat, I go
black.
94
00:13:29,660 --> 00:13:34,960
Yeah, well, I... You are looking at a
body, Kermit, that has not one ounce of
95
00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:35,960
fat on it.
96
00:13:36,080 --> 00:13:41,760
Well, yes, but... This is lean, lean, El
Lino, Kermit, my froggy friend.
97
00:13:42,080 --> 00:13:46,360
Yeah, yeah, well, I can see all that,
yeah. Kermit, I had a friend once who
98
00:13:46,360 --> 00:13:47,360
chewed so much fat.
99
00:13:47,630 --> 00:13:52,250
that she was as big as a house and she
decided to rent herself out as a duplex
100
00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:25,660
What do we talk about? Well, we all know
that you hate fat, but what do you
101
00:14:25,660 --> 00:14:27,940
love? Oh, well, I love to eat.
102
00:14:29,420 --> 00:14:34,160
I eat health foods, organic foods, dairy
products.
103
00:14:34,420 --> 00:14:36,240
Dairy products. No, no, no. That's a no
-no.
104
00:14:36,540 --> 00:14:39,440
Dairy products killed my uncle. Oh,
well, that's awful.
105
00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:41,680
Yep. He was hit by a dairy truck.
106
00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:48,700
His last words were, take the cheese off
my...
107
00:14:55,340 --> 00:14:56,780
Oh, it's a joke. Yeah, it's just a joke.
108
00:14:57,100 --> 00:14:58,140
That's up to the laugh track.
109
00:14:59,260 --> 00:15:02,380
But speaking of laughs, Ruth, you know,
you really tickle me.
110
00:15:02,620 --> 00:15:04,180
Oh, well, that's how I make everyone
laugh.
111
00:15:04,540 --> 00:15:05,119
How's that?
112
00:15:05,120 --> 00:15:06,120
I tickle them.
113
00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:07,200
Oh.
114
00:16:04,620 --> 00:16:08,160
one of the top comics in the business.
In the world. In the business world.
115
00:16:10,900 --> 00:16:12,040
Who's doing the show?
116
00:16:55,950 --> 00:17:00,910
Lieutenant Jane B. Smithers, 1st
Battalion, 5th Army, based on the far
117
00:17:00,910 --> 00:17:01,549
the river.
118
00:17:01,550 --> 00:17:07,609
We have over 15 ,000 troops, heavily
armed, with 40 tanks and three fighter
119
00:17:07,609 --> 00:17:11,750
planes. Good. Thank you very much.
That's the information we needed. Thank
120
00:17:11,890 --> 00:17:13,250
Oh, you're very welcome.
121
00:17:13,510 --> 00:17:17,190
Now, listen, we have enough food and
ammunition for three weeks.
122
00:17:18,030 --> 00:17:22,670
The commanding officer's name is Frank
Irving. He's a gunnery expert and a
123
00:17:22,670 --> 00:17:25,050
former account exec with an ad agency in
Philadelphia.
124
00:17:26,419 --> 00:17:28,300
Well, yeah, it's fine. I should do it,
don't you?
125
00:17:28,580 --> 00:17:33,740
He's 43 years old and has two children.
And he drives a 63 Dodge station wagon.
126
00:17:33,940 --> 00:17:36,580
And the pilot flying plane number one is
Mike Kelly.
127
00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:40,140
Oh, yes, he's a graduate of West Point.
And he wears a toupee.
128
00:17:40,380 --> 00:17:41,600
That's enough. Enough already.
129
00:17:41,820 --> 00:17:46,120
He got three B's and an A in his final
year. Hey, lady. And he went with a
130
00:17:46,120 --> 00:17:48,000
general's daughter named Maggie. I don't
care.
131
00:17:48,540 --> 00:17:52,460
She had a mole on her left shoulder.
Hey, I'm warning you. We have ways of
132
00:17:52,460 --> 00:17:53,680
making you stop talking.
133
00:17:55,070 --> 00:18:00,110
Pilate is an expert in decoding, and he
is a craft gin rummy flamer. I mean, he
134
00:18:00,110 --> 00:18:01,110
is really terrific.
135
00:18:01,430 --> 00:18:02,430
Please don't do any more.
136
00:18:02,610 --> 00:18:05,650
Stop. Don't talk. Please don't do any
more.
137
00:18:06,010 --> 00:18:07,010
Stop it, please.
138
00:18:13,330 --> 00:18:18,750
Oh, light of my life, fog of my arms. At
last, we are alone.
139
00:18:19,190 --> 00:18:23,150
At last, you are alone, Piggy. I'm about
to go on stage in front of a thousand
140
00:18:23,150 --> 00:18:24,150
people.
141
00:18:59,850 --> 00:19:03,910
Yeah, look, look, look. Let me take you
away from all this. A marriage made in
142
00:19:03,910 --> 00:19:07,670
heaven, a frog and a pig. We could have
bouncing baby figs.
143
00:19:09,770 --> 00:19:14,950
Sure, let me whisper, let me whisper
sweet nothings in your ear.
144
00:19:15,230 --> 00:19:16,230
Sweet.
145
00:19:32,720 --> 00:19:35,200
Let me explain. Oh, explain this.
146
00:19:35,940 --> 00:19:42,920
Hey, listen, I think you may have
147
00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:43,920
dented him.
148
00:20:08,360 --> 00:20:09,560
Interested isn't the word.
149
00:20:10,020 --> 00:20:13,120
He's seriously thinking about becoming a
monastery.
150
00:20:18,580 --> 00:20:22,820
Kermit has asked me to introduce this
week's closing number, so it is with
151
00:20:22,820 --> 00:20:27,260
pleasure... Uh, excuse me. Don't pay any
mind to me, Miss Buzzy. I merely stand
152
00:20:27,260 --> 00:20:31,280
by checking the content of this program
to make sure it is morally above
153
00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:32,440
reproach. Oh, okay.
154
00:20:32,700 --> 00:20:38,220
It is with great pleasure that I present
the Gogolala Jubilee...
155
00:20:39,330 --> 00:20:42,250
That does not sound culturally
uplifting.
156
00:20:45,630 --> 00:20:48,410
Well, you can't roll a skate in a
buffalo herd.
157
00:20:48,670 --> 00:20:52,430
You can't roll a skate in a buffalo
herd. No, you can't roll a skate in a
158
00:20:52,430 --> 00:20:53,430
buffalo herd.
159
00:20:53,590 --> 00:20:56,010
You can be happy if you ever mind to.
160
00:20:57,050 --> 00:21:00,870
Put your mind to it. Knock it down,
buckle down. Do it, do it, do it.
161
00:21:09,740 --> 00:21:10,740
Never mind.
162
00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:48,280
end of the song.
163
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:07,120
Time once again to raise the
intellectual level of our program.
164
00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:08,320
It's about time, too.
165
00:22:08,520 --> 00:22:09,800
Just hold it down here, Sam.
166
00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:13,480
Tonight, our distinguished panel of
experts includes our special guest, Miss
167
00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:14,480
Gloria Goodbody.
168
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:16,620
Thank you. You're more than welcome.
169
00:22:17,180 --> 00:22:21,640
And tonight we discuss that
controversial topic, is the human body
170
00:22:22,140 --> 00:22:25,900
Well, I presume the question under
discussion has something to do with the
171
00:22:25,900 --> 00:22:30,560
importance or lack thereof of the
physiological prowess in this age of
172
00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:34,200
technology and ever -escalating
cybernetic engineering.
173
00:22:35,420 --> 00:22:38,260
That was wonderful.
174
00:22:39,360 --> 00:22:41,160
I didn't understand it.
175
00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:45,760
Now, actually, actually, everyone, I was
saying that I...
176
00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:50,820
I'm talking about physical fitness. Oh,
physical fitness? Yes, physical fitness.
177
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:52,000
Well, I'm fit.
178
00:22:52,220 --> 00:22:53,520
Let's get physical.
179
00:22:55,120 --> 00:22:59,200
I'm a nut on physical fitness. Really?
In fact, I've tried every exercise
180
00:22:59,200 --> 00:23:02,060
program that there is. Right now, I'm
into yoga.
181
00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:06,120
Yoga? Yes, yoga. Isn't it that weird
sour milk stuff?
182
00:23:06,340 --> 00:23:09,640
Oh, no, no, no. This is yoga.
183
00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:11,280
What are you doing?
184
00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:15,240
Doesn't that hurt?
185
00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:18,680
All the time we have.
186
00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:20,560
What's going on?
187
00:23:22,780 --> 00:23:24,400
Are you all right? What's going on here?
188
00:23:25,140 --> 00:23:26,140
Where are you going?
189
00:23:26,220 --> 00:23:29,160
There's supposed to be a discussion
about here. Well, listen.
190
00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:30,679
That's nothing.
191
00:23:30,680 --> 00:23:32,440
Watch this. This is physical fitness.
192
00:23:32,940 --> 00:23:33,659
Wait a minute.
193
00:23:33,660 --> 00:23:38,980
One, two, three, four. One, two, three,
four. One, two, three, four. One, two,
194
00:23:38,980 --> 00:23:39,980
three, four. One,
195
00:23:40,360 --> 00:23:42,620
two, three, four.
196
00:23:55,649 --> 00:23:59,210
Well, that's all for tonight. Thank you
all for watching, and special thanks to
197
00:23:59,210 --> 00:24:01,150
our wonderful guest star, Miss Booth
-Ruzzy.
198
00:24:01,650 --> 00:24:02,650
Booth -Ruzzy.
199
00:24:02,910 --> 00:24:03,910
Booth -Ruzzy.
200
00:24:04,130 --> 00:24:07,430
Booth -Ruzzy. Oh, look at that. I knew
this wicked contraption would break down
201
00:24:07,430 --> 00:24:08,430
eventually.
202
00:24:09,170 --> 00:24:13,290
A mere machine could never replace a
real frog.
203
00:24:14,430 --> 00:24:18,450
You're a nice person, Ruth. Thank you.
And I hope we've tickled you as much as
204
00:24:18,450 --> 00:24:20,710
you've tickled us on the show. You have.
Right, guys?
205
00:25:06,410 --> 00:25:09,370
Did you like the show? No I didn't. No I
didn't.
16913
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof