Original subtitles

Hi, I'm Brian Henson.

This episode of The Muppet Show stars former Supreme Diana Ross.

In this episode, she performs Love Hangover, which features the largest

ever made. They're called the Gawky Birds and the Bossmen. The Bossmen are

really tall ones.

And the way they're performed is really cool. The puppeteers stand behind the

characters dressed in black, working controls that are painted black, so you

don't actually even see the puppeteers. It's an amazing effect.

In this episode of The Muppet Show, the audience is so packed with Diana Ross

fans that they hate everything except for her. Right now the score is Diana

10, Muppets 3.

They even hate those singing fish, the Gills Brothers, and Fozzie doing what

be his shortest comedy act ever.

Here it is, The Muppet Show with Diana Ross.

Oh, Diana.

Diana Ross, 15 seconds to curtain, Diana.

Thank you, Scooter. Thank you. Scooter, by the way, who put this thing in my

dressing room?

Oh, well, I did, because Kermit told me wherever you go, you have a big fan

club.

I just said there'd be shows like this.

It's the Muppet Show with our very special guest star, Diana Ross.

inspirational, inspirational, inspirational.

One to ten, we give it a three.

Well, maybe it wasn't that good. Let's give it a one.

It's rough out there.

Yeah, it's a very strange audience. I'm sorry about that. We had to go through a

lot of work.

You're what?

I don't know. I don't know.

out there and I want to thank you for warming them up for me.

They're so terrific. They're the best. When they love you, they don't hold

When they hate you, they don't hold back either.

Kermit, first I want to tell you, that audience is so great out there. I really

do love doing this show. It's the best.

Yeah, well, they certainly love you a lot. It's just, well, it's just us that

they hate.

Oh, no, Kermit, Kermit, you have to win them over. Maybe you have to send in one

of your surefire acts like Vets Hospital.

That'll work.

Vets Hospital?

Yeah. Now, that's a good idea, Vets Hospital. That's where Dr.

Bob and Nurse Peggy and Nurse Janice run out there and they tell those awful,

awful jokes.

Well, what about Swedish Chef?

Swedish Chef? Yes, Swedish Chef. A hilarious cooking lesson.

Yes, with somebody, this guy that you can't understand making this food that

can't eat.

Hmm, not so good, huh?

Well, let's see.

What else you got?

Pigs in Space?

Careful, that's a solid gold disposable lighter.

Oh, don't worry.

I'm an expert at these kind of things.

Hmm, maybe First Mate Piggy could help.

Touchy, touchy.

Yeah, and that wasn't the audience.

Your gas lighter sprung a leak.

Oh, is it? Oh, I dropped it. Oh, I'll get it.

It dropped over here by the tank of nitroglycerin. Oh, do you want a

It's dark under there.

I'll just strike a match.

I like it. Can I sing along with you a little bit? Oh, would you? Thank you.

Last time I saw him, he sweetly kissed my lips.

Last time I saw him, he said, I'll be back for more of it.

Hi! Last time I saw him, we were crying at the bus.

I knew he hated leaving, but he had to set us up.

I gave him money.

except, well, things like you.

Oh, things like me?

Well, do you think we can go out there and sing this song? We're just messing

around, rehearsing a little bit. That would be wonderful.

Just one second.

Oh.

He's stupid enough to go out there and face that audience.

I'll do it, Kermit. I've got the ultimate act. But I'm going to need a

typewriter for it.

Well, Gonzo, we don't have a typewriter. Then I'll...

on the stage.

And I really do think he deserves another chance.

Who's she talking about?

in the dressing room right before we came.

That's a terrible joke.

That's the best joke I've ever heard. I can't do that joke.

Oh, come on. It's a good one. Give it a try. Come on, please.

Okay, stick close.

Okay.

Ha, ha, ha, ha.

Hiya, hiya, hiya.

Hey, have you heard about the new soft drink they're making?

drink they're making just for frogs it's called croca -cola

how

did you do that well fozzie see it's very simple you

see i think that uh telling comedy you know doing comedy jokes and things like

it's just like singing really all you have to do is let the audience know that

you're reaching out to them and in return they reach right back to you just

this

if you can reach out and touch somebody and

make this world a better place if you can

Thank you very much. I just love your Coca -Cola joke.

Oh, good.

Yeah, yeah. Of course I get a better one.

Yeah. Okay.

Great. Okay, here we go. Have you heard about the new soft drink made out of

acorns? No. Tell me about the new soft drink made out of acorns. It's called...