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00:00:02,310 --> 00:00:03,310
Oh, Carol.
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00:00:03,350 --> 00:00:06,450
Carol Channing. 30 seconds to curtain,
Miss Channing.
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00:00:06,670 --> 00:00:11,050
Thank you, Scooter. Scooter, are you
aware that it's freezing in here?
4
00:00:11,490 --> 00:00:13,550
Oh, yeah. It's got to be for the
penguins.
5
00:00:17,610 --> 00:00:19,590
Well, why do we have to have penguins?
6
00:00:20,030 --> 00:00:21,610
So the walrus won't get lonely.
7
00:00:23,990 --> 00:00:24,990
Well,
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00:00:27,350 --> 00:00:31,470
now I understand why my closet is full
of dead fish.
9
00:00:37,680 --> 00:00:40,860
show with our very special guest star,
Carol Channing!
10
00:01:08,840 --> 00:01:11,960
It's time to get things started. I'm the
most sensational, inspirational,
11
00:01:12,500 --> 00:01:14,640
celebrational, marketational.
12
00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:39,660
The Muppet Show, where our special guest
star is everybody's favorite musical
13
00:01:39,660 --> 00:01:41,900
comedy star, Miss Carol Channing.
14
00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:47,160
Yes, so here she is now in a Muppet
salute to the wonderful world of
15
00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:48,160
ophthalmology.
16
00:01:52,180 --> 00:01:53,180
Creepers!
17
00:01:53,580 --> 00:01:54,660
Creepers! Creepers!
18
00:01:55,020 --> 00:01:57,300
Where'd you get those creepers?
19
00:01:58,140 --> 00:01:59,140
Creepers!
20
00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:02,100
Creepers! Where'd you get those eyes?
21
00:02:03,500 --> 00:02:04,780
Gosh, oh...
22
00:02:06,380 --> 00:02:08,100
How'd they get so little?
23
00:02:08,539 --> 00:02:13,620
Gosh, oh, get up. How'd they get that
size?
24
00:02:14,340 --> 00:02:19,580
When you turn those heaters on.
25
00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:38,400
But me, why?
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00:02:39,320 --> 00:02:41,000
You should get a prize.
27
00:02:42,260 --> 00:02:43,900
How'd they get that size?
28
00:02:45,060 --> 00:02:50,840
Where did you get those eyes? I, I, I,
I, I, I like you very much.
29
00:02:51,240 --> 00:02:54,120
I, I, I, I, I, I think you're beautiful.
30
00:02:54,860 --> 00:02:59,880
Why, why, why, why, why, why? When I
feel your touch, my heart starts to
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00:02:59,900 --> 00:03:00,900
to beat the best.
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00:03:04,910 --> 00:03:09,150
I put you the first time I looked into
them there eyes.
33
00:03:09,490 --> 00:03:14,790
You've got a certain little cute way of
flirting with them there eyes.
34
00:03:15,330 --> 00:03:20,470
You make me feel happy. Never make me
blue.
35
00:03:21,630 --> 00:03:27,050
Going in a big way for sweet little you.
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00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:32,150
Them there eyes.
37
00:03:55,860 --> 00:03:56,860
Well,
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00:04:09,460 --> 00:04:13,860
what a great number. We can send roses
back to Carol Channing. Why don't we
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00:04:13,860 --> 00:04:15,200
the weird guys with the big eyes?
40
00:04:15,770 --> 00:04:16,769
50 lashes.
41
00:04:19,750 --> 00:04:23,070
Okay, very nice. Nicely ogled. We were
okay?
42
00:04:23,470 --> 00:04:26,030
20 -20. Oh, Scooter.
43
00:04:26,310 --> 00:04:28,870
Yeah, boss? Hey, Scooter, I got to
change for the next number. I'll be
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00:04:28,870 --> 00:04:29,930
back, okay? Check, chief.
45
00:04:30,490 --> 00:04:31,490
Hi, Miss Piggy.
46
00:04:31,550 --> 00:04:32,550
Oh, hi.
47
00:04:32,770 --> 00:04:36,830
Scooter! Yes, Miss Piggy? Scooter, will
you help me? I can't go another step.
48
00:04:37,310 --> 00:04:38,289
What's wrong?
49
00:04:38,290 --> 00:04:40,970
I just bought these new shoes, and they
are...
50
00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:42,400
Killing me.
51
00:04:42,780 --> 00:04:45,940
Help me get them off, will you? Sure,
Miss Piggy. I can't.
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00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:47,440
Let's just pull.
53
00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:53,640
That's one.
54
00:04:58,660 --> 00:05:04,220
Never again.
55
00:05:05,460 --> 00:05:06,960
What's wrong? Didn't they have your
size?
56
00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:10,160
Scooter, dear.
57
00:05:10,190 --> 00:05:11,190
You wouldn't understand.
58
00:05:11,950 --> 00:05:12,950
You're not a woman.
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00:05:13,970 --> 00:05:15,150
I guess not.
60
00:05:15,850 --> 00:05:16,950
I'm not even a pig.
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00:05:19,170 --> 00:05:22,610
Okay. Oh, Miss Piggy. Are these your
shoes? They look new.
62
00:05:23,070 --> 00:05:27,450
Yes, they are, but I'm taking them back.
They're just not the right... Oh,
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00:05:27,970 --> 00:05:29,690
they're not the right style for moi.
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00:05:30,290 --> 00:05:33,310
I wouldn't say that. They look very
elegant.
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00:05:35,510 --> 00:05:36,510
Sure,
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00:05:36,830 --> 00:05:37,950
I bet you'd look terrific in them.
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00:05:43,219 --> 00:05:45,280
Yeah? Promise you won't ask any
questions.
68
00:05:45,580 --> 00:05:46,620
Okay, I promise.
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00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:48,040
Help me put the shoes back on.
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00:05:48,780 --> 00:05:50,500
Are you crazy? You promise?
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00:05:53,660 --> 00:05:57,880
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a very
special treat tonight, because with us
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00:05:57,880 --> 00:06:00,340
one of the great stars of the silent
screen.
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00:06:00,780 --> 00:06:04,320
Now, although you may not remember her
name, she was once a superstar.
74
00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:07,900
And here she is now to tell her own sad
story.
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00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:18,880
My name is Cecilia Sisson.
76
00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:22,540
Oh, boy. Cecilia Sisson, huh?
77
00:06:22,940 --> 00:06:28,940
Certainly. S -I -S -S -O -N Sisson.
78
00:06:29,580 --> 00:06:35,200
Yes. Now, I understand that your last
film was the world's first all -singing,
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00:06:35,300 --> 00:06:36,400
all -talking picture.
80
00:06:36,820 --> 00:06:43,080
Yes. I'd been on the silent screen for
seven years.
81
00:06:44,780 --> 00:06:50,340
Then I spoke and sang in Mississippi
melody.
82
00:06:50,940 --> 00:06:54,080
And then what happened?
83
00:06:54,760 --> 00:07:01,560
Overnight, I hit the skid, so
84
00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:02,560
to speak.
85
00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:09,160
Yes, that's certainly an amazing story,
Cecilia. They seemed to feel that there
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00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:11,160
was something wrong with my voice.
87
00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:13,140
No.
88
00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:15,240
Sadly so.
89
00:07:15,900 --> 00:07:22,820
Now, as I look back, I say, Cecilia, if
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00:07:22,820 --> 00:07:26,120
you'd only learn to keep your big mouth
shut.
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00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:29,840
Thank you, Cecilia, and...
92
00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:48,300
Cinderella, who sold you the slippers? A
shoe salesman or a sausage stuffer?
93
00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:55,360
My dear, before you say anything more,
why don't you
94
00:07:55,360 --> 00:07:57,180
just jot down your next of kin?
95
00:07:58,900 --> 00:08:00,760
It'll be easier for the authorities.
96
00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:06,380
Oh, Biggie. Oh, hi,
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00:08:07,380 --> 00:08:10,440
Kermie. Oh, I see you're wearing your
new shoes.
98
00:08:11,060 --> 00:08:14,770
They look very nice. Thank you. Hey, let
me see you just walk around a little
99
00:08:14,770 --> 00:08:15,770
bit on them.
100
00:08:16,030 --> 00:08:18,510
Just walk around a little bit. Let me
see the backs of them.
101
00:08:23,650 --> 00:08:24,650
Nice.
102
00:08:25,270 --> 00:08:26,650
Hey, can you dance in those two?
103
00:08:28,590 --> 00:08:31,070
What? Sure, let's just dance a little
bit. Here we go.
104
00:08:34,030 --> 00:08:40,630
Oh, the next number's on. This is one of
my favorite numbers.
105
00:08:41,690 --> 00:08:42,690
What's that?
106
00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:44,620
Your feet's too big.
107
00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:04,900
My, oh, my, don't you look nice.
108
00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:06,280
Why, thank you.
109
00:09:09,780 --> 00:09:12,140
Oh, you got such a...
110
00:09:12,350 --> 00:09:13,350
Pretty face.
111
00:09:13,670 --> 00:09:14,670
Ow!
112
00:09:16,810 --> 00:09:19,530
I love your shape.
113
00:09:19,930 --> 00:09:20,930
No.
114
00:09:24,270 --> 00:09:28,270
Matter of fact, there's only two things
wrong with you. What's that?
115
00:09:29,070 --> 00:09:30,530
I'll tell you about it.
116
00:09:32,270 --> 00:09:35,590
Stay up in Harlem at a table for two.
117
00:09:35,930 --> 00:09:37,850
There were four of us. Me.
118
00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:43,700
Your big feet and you. You're such a
tease. From your ankle up, I'd say you
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00:09:43,700 --> 00:09:44,700
sweet.
120
00:09:45,020 --> 00:09:50,440
From that down, they're just too much
feet. And your feet's too big.
121
00:09:51,660 --> 00:09:54,740
Don't want you, cause your feet's too
big.
122
00:09:56,280 --> 00:09:59,200
Can't use you, cause your feet's too
big.
123
00:10:00,020 --> 00:10:04,180
I really hate you, cause your feet's too
big.
124
00:10:10,430 --> 00:10:12,170
Where'd you get them?
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00:10:13,050 --> 00:10:14,230
Spotted them.
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00:10:14,570 --> 00:10:17,950
Your girl, she likes you. She thinks
you're nice.
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00:10:18,230 --> 00:10:18,989
Well, I am.
128
00:10:18,990 --> 00:10:21,930
Got what it takes to be in paradise.
129
00:10:23,050 --> 00:10:29,250
She says she likes your face. She likes
your red hair. But man, oh man, them
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00:10:29,250 --> 00:10:30,810
feet are too big.
131
00:10:31,070 --> 00:10:32,910
Your feet's too big.
132
00:10:34,230 --> 00:10:37,230
Don't want you cause your feet's too
big.
133
00:10:39,310 --> 00:10:41,470
That should cause your feet too big.
134
00:10:42,630 --> 00:10:46,710
I hate you. Cause your feet too big.
135
00:10:47,830 --> 00:10:49,790
Come on, move them gumballs around.
136
00:10:52,390 --> 00:10:56,470
You know, I bet if you had any shoes,
you could rent them out as storage
137
00:10:58,930 --> 00:11:05,790
Oh, yeah, your
138
00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:07,770
pedal extremities are...
139
00:11:11,530 --> 00:11:12,530
Just like a fossil.
140
00:11:14,170 --> 00:11:16,850
You got me walking, talking, squawking.
141
00:11:17,490 --> 00:11:21,510
Oh, yeah, because your feet's too big.
Oh, yeah.
142
00:11:23,130 --> 00:11:25,750
Too bad you ain't got dainty little feet
like me.
143
00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:30,150
Bet you need tow trucks to move them
around.
144
00:11:31,530 --> 00:11:34,350
Oh, don't think you got a lot of soul,
honey.
145
00:11:47,520 --> 00:11:49,560
You want to hear some penguin music?
146
00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:53,880
Hey, Bo, let's play some penguin music.
Make this little dude feel at home.
147
00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:55,820
Waves. Penguin music?
148
00:11:57,120 --> 00:11:58,120
Oh, that one.
149
00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:57,600
Don't you get out of the way!
150
00:13:54,220 --> 00:13:58,440
You'll recall that in our last
episode... Wait a minute. Miss Piggy
151
00:13:58,440 --> 00:13:59,379
yet.
152
00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:02,500
Start without me. I have a little
problem.
153
00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:07,320
Captain, you'll recall that in our last
episode, the crew of the swine track was
154
00:14:07,320 --> 00:14:10,320
being held captive by an invisible force
field.
155
00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:15,860
This is serious, Captain. Some terrible
force field is preventing us from
156
00:14:15,860 --> 00:14:16,860
leaving this room.
157
00:14:16,980 --> 00:14:17,980
Look.
158
00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:26,340
That's dreadful. I'll try this door over
here.
159
00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:32,580
Maybe if I got a running start.
160
00:14:33,060 --> 00:14:34,360
Oh, I wouldn't do that.
161
00:14:34,860 --> 00:14:35,860
Here I go.
162
00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:43,980
That's fine. I wouldn't do that. Oh,
this is terrible. Here we are, trapped
163
00:14:43,980 --> 00:14:47,500
forever. Nothing can penetrate this
invisible shield.
164
00:14:48,260 --> 00:14:51,660
Oh, sorry, I'm late.
165
00:14:52,620 --> 00:14:54,620
Don't do that. The invisible shield.
166
00:14:55,420 --> 00:14:57,840
Who cares about the invisible shield?
167
00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:00,580
All these shoes.
168
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:03,880
But the invisible shield, that's part of
the sketch.
169
00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:06,620
I don't care.
170
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:09,980
I'm in great pain, though.
171
00:15:10,500 --> 00:15:12,620
This sounds like a job for Dr.
172
00:15:12,860 --> 00:15:13,860
Bob.
173
00:15:14,620 --> 00:15:17,000
The invisible shield.
174
00:15:17,460 --> 00:15:19,280
Now then, what's the trouble?
175
00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:21,400
Oh, Miss Piggy's in big trouble.
176
00:15:22,220 --> 00:15:25,080
Of course she's a big pain. What else is
new?
177
00:15:26,220 --> 00:15:29,580
That does it. Just get out of the
sketch.
178
00:15:30,020 --> 00:15:31,180
Yes, ma 'am. Yes, ma 'am.
179
00:15:35,820 --> 00:15:39,200
I've been trapped here for all eternity.
180
00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:42,400
Get me out of here.
181
00:15:47,580 --> 00:15:50,440
How will we ever get out of a...
182
00:15:55,660 --> 00:15:59,580
It's time for another adventure of Pigs
in Space.
183
00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:03,620
You know, we have him at the hospital,
too.
184
00:16:04,540 --> 00:16:10,080
Come in.
185
00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:49,200
You know, I've had troubles like this
myself, and I read somewhere that if you
186
00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:52,280
soak your feet in pickle juice, it
shrinks them.
187
00:16:54,300 --> 00:16:55,500
Pickle juice? Yes.
188
00:16:56,920 --> 00:17:01,860
Carol, I can't do that. I mean, people
might say that I have... Oh, don't say
189
00:17:01,860 --> 00:17:02,860
it. Of course.
190
00:17:02,900 --> 00:17:04,000
Pickled pig's feet.
191
00:17:05,940 --> 00:17:07,599
How could I be so gross?
192
00:17:10,569 --> 00:17:14,329
I tell you, darling, what you need is to
have these enlarged.
193
00:17:14,849 --> 00:17:15,849
Timmy!
194
00:17:17,210 --> 00:17:18,530
Yes, ma 'am, Miss Carroll.
195
00:17:18,829 --> 00:17:24,290
Timmy, could you please put these on
your feet and run around the block
196
00:17:24,290 --> 00:17:25,730
times like a good boy?
197
00:17:26,690 --> 00:17:27,710
Okay, Miss Carroll.
198
00:17:30,830 --> 00:17:32,030
You sure that'll work?
199
00:17:32,410 --> 00:17:36,910
Sure. Just this morning, I had him
stretch a pair of false eyelashes for
200
00:18:03,419 --> 00:18:05,820
Good meat.
201
00:18:06,020 --> 00:18:08,440
Good meat. Meat's meat.
202
00:18:16,620 --> 00:18:17,620
Give me back my shoe
203
00:18:44,910 --> 00:18:47,570
Timmy Monster to stretch your shoes for
you? Shh, shh, shh.
204
00:18:48,270 --> 00:18:51,450
Comey, I'm just about ready for the
number with Carol.
205
00:18:51,770 --> 00:18:53,810
Oh, good. I just have my hairdo to do.
206
00:18:54,290 --> 00:18:55,289
Uh -huh.
207
00:18:55,290 --> 00:18:57,010
Piggy, you're not wearing those cute
shoes.
208
00:18:58,130 --> 00:19:03,110
Um, well, Comey, I just sent them out to
be... Stretched. Polished. Yeah.
209
00:19:21,450 --> 00:19:23,050
And among the other people there, we
will...
210
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:15,320
what I wanted to tell you about.
211
00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:24,360
A kiss on the hand may be quite
continental, but diamonds are a
212
00:20:24,360 --> 00:20:25,880
girl's best friend.
213
00:20:26,820 --> 00:20:33,340
A kiss may be grand, but it won't pay
the rental on your humble flat
214
00:20:33,340 --> 00:20:35,300
or help you at
215
00:20:49,390 --> 00:20:52,510
These rocks don't lose their shape.
216
00:20:54,170 --> 00:20:57,030
Diamonds are a girl's best friend.
217
00:20:58,530 --> 00:21:01,610
Um, will you excuse me, girl?
218
00:21:02,150 --> 00:21:03,570
You mean this?
219
00:21:27,590 --> 00:21:31,310
when a hard -boiled employer thinks
you're awful nice.
220
00:21:31,750 --> 00:21:35,530
But get that ice or else no dice.
221
00:21:36,950 --> 00:21:40,470
You're done when stocks go high.
222
00:21:40,790 --> 00:21:43,730
But beware when they start to descend.
223
00:21:44,910 --> 00:21:51,130
It's then that those louses go back to
their spouse.
224
00:23:25,420 --> 00:23:27,360
It's been wonderful playing the palace.
225
00:23:28,220 --> 00:23:32,460
But before we go, let us bring back our
fantastic guest, our lady and gentleman,
226
00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:34,660
the terrific Miss Carol Channing. Yeah!
227
00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:48,320
I did want to thank Miss Piggy. Oh,
Carol, here I am. Oh, thank you.
228
00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:51,160
Miss Piggy, dear, you wear diamonds.
229
00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:55,860
So well, doesn't she? And you sang the
song just beautifully. Oh, thank you,
230
00:23:55,860 --> 00:23:57,320
to tell you the truth, I have a
confession.
231
00:23:57,560 --> 00:23:59,340
The diamonds are not mine.
232
00:24:00,420 --> 00:24:01,259
They're not?
233
00:24:01,260 --> 00:24:03,500
Yes, they're rented. We have to return
them in the morning.
234
00:24:04,140 --> 00:24:08,420
Oh, but couldn't she just keep one
little diamond?
235
00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:14,160
Well, uh... Oh, it would be such a nice
present for her.
236
00:24:14,460 --> 00:24:16,680
Oh, well, uh, okay, I guess.
237
00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:27,320
she chose an engagement ring.
238
00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:29,480
What?
239
00:24:29,780 --> 00:24:30,780
Congratulations.
240
00:24:32,220 --> 00:24:35,460
That's not an engagement. This is going
far enough, ladies and gentlemen. We're
241
00:24:35,460 --> 00:24:36,099
just kidding.
242
00:24:36,100 --> 00:24:38,920
We'll see you next time on The Muffin
Show. You're all invited to the wedding.
243
00:24:39,240 --> 00:24:40,240
That's not an engagement.
244
00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:17,780
With friends like these, who needs
emeralds?
18553
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