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1
00:00:02,739 --> 00:00:03,739
Jonathan Winters?
2
00:00:03,780 --> 00:00:05,700
Fifteen seconds are curtain, Mr.
Winters.
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00:00:06,060 --> 00:00:07,440
Please, why do they do this to me?
4
00:00:07,680 --> 00:00:08,680
There's no time for that.
5
00:00:08,980 --> 00:00:11,700
Don't you know there's an old gypsy?
She's put a curse on the performance.
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00:00:11,900 --> 00:00:13,660
I just can't appear tonight. I can't
appear, I tell you.
7
00:00:13,920 --> 00:00:16,040
But, sir, there's no gypsy curse.
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00:00:16,379 --> 00:00:17,380
Oh, yeah.
9
00:00:17,630 --> 00:00:21,090
It's always people like you that say...
There's no gypsy curse.
10
00:00:21,350 --> 00:00:23,150
Well, there is a gypsy curse. I saw her
in the alley.
11
00:00:23,670 --> 00:00:26,610
Frightway. A woman will tear her clear
out to here. One eye. That tells you
12
00:00:26,610 --> 00:00:29,170
something. One -eyed woman. She looked
like she'd been hit from the back real
13
00:00:29,170 --> 00:00:32,790
hard. It just popped out. She said,
there's a curse on the show.
14
00:00:33,310 --> 00:00:35,930
What does it take for her to believe me?
15
00:00:37,390 --> 00:00:38,390
Well,
16
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that'll do fine.
17
00:00:45,590 --> 00:00:46,730
Glad you took the brunt of it.
18
00:00:48,940 --> 00:00:51,160
It's the puppet show with our very
special guest.
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00:01:38,709 --> 00:01:39,750
You called?
20
00:01:43,250 --> 00:01:48,670
Thank you, thank you, thank you. Hello
and welcome again to the Muppet Show.
21
00:01:48,670 --> 00:01:50,570
boy, do you have a treat in store.
22
00:01:50,970 --> 00:01:53,950
Because our guest star tonight is one of
your all -time terrific never -to -miss
23
00:01:53,950 --> 00:01:58,330
comedians, the king of nuttiness, Mr.
Jonathan Winters. What good news?
24
00:02:00,330 --> 00:02:03,370
Well, so much for the good news.
25
00:02:05,190 --> 00:02:07,550
I thought lightning never struck twice.
26
00:02:09,490 --> 00:02:11,450
Will you get these sandbags out of here?
27
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I'm going backstage to unfrazzle. But
right now...
28
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Oh, that tiger.
29
00:03:13,580 --> 00:03:14,760
pressing hole in the wall.
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We'll hide out here, butch.
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00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:26,080
Hey, wait a second. What are you guys
doing here? Your act just started.
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Somebody stole our tiger.
33
00:03:28,460 --> 00:03:29,720
Oh, good grief.
34
00:03:30,020 --> 00:03:31,140
Scooter, what's on next?
35
00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:33,520
Oh, Patty Saverne in her train chair.
36
00:03:51,660 --> 00:03:55,940
Bernice earned her half horse half
watermelon egg. Oh, bad luck, Kermit.
37
00:03:56,340 --> 00:03:59,120
the horse half just came down with hoof
and mouth disease.
38
00:04:00,020 --> 00:04:02,260
Could we just use the watermelon half?
39
00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:05,680
What a bizarre and disgusting thought.
40
00:04:06,460 --> 00:04:10,080
I guess so. Well, what can we send out
on stage now?
41
00:04:10,380 --> 00:04:11,860
How about, hey, how about Jonathan?
42
00:04:12,180 --> 00:04:15,060
Jonathan, Jonathan Winters. Jonathan
Winters on stage please.
43
00:04:23,470 --> 00:04:26,590
What is it, Jonathan? I just can't go on
tonight. I don't know about you,
44
00:04:26,610 --> 00:04:29,490
whether you've heard this or not, but
there's been a curse put on by a
45
00:04:29,490 --> 00:04:33,330
gypsy lady. A curse put on the show. No,
no, no. There is no gypsy curse on
46
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tonight's show.
47
00:04:34,850 --> 00:04:36,310
There's a curse put on the show, I tell
you.
48
00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:39,210
Jonathan, if you'd just get out on
stage, please, and do your act now.
49
00:04:39,590 --> 00:04:42,390
I'm not going to do my act. I'm not with
a curse on the show.
50
00:04:44,550 --> 00:04:46,470
I don't care what you say.
51
00:04:46,990 --> 00:04:49,570
There's been a curse put on the show.
52
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That's the way she talks.
53
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Hurry, hurry, hurry.
54
00:05:02,350 --> 00:05:03,350
Is there an echo in here tonight?
55
00:05:06,050 --> 00:05:09,650
It's a real honor to introduce our
special guest star tonight, ladies and
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gentlemen. He's a comedy genius, a man
of a million characters, and here he is
57
00:05:13,530 --> 00:05:15,570
now, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Please,
please.
58
00:05:16,390 --> 00:05:21,650
The gypsy curse is upon us. Can you...
All my props are gone.
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I... I ruined... What do we do now?
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I was so sad.
61
00:05:31,370 --> 00:05:32,590
Can we declare an intermission?
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I tried that once. The audience left and
they never came back.
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00:05:37,550 --> 00:05:40,530
I'll get my props. Jonathan can use
them. Oh, good. Hurry up and get them.
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00:05:40,970 --> 00:05:44,330
Just stay with us, ladies and gentlemen.
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00:05:44,590 --> 00:05:46,870
Jonathan Winters will be right out, I
hope.
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00:05:47,710 --> 00:05:49,510
Here you go. Here's my prop box.
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You can use it all.
68
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Oh, dear.
69
00:05:53,910 --> 00:05:55,790
I was sure this would have held it.
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00:05:57,370 --> 00:05:58,650
Oh, good. You're ready.
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00:05:59,590 --> 00:06:00,590
Yes.
72
00:06:01,039 --> 00:06:04,320
Um, uh, ladies and gentlemen, I think
we're all ready back there now. Uh, here
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00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:06,080
he is, uh, Mr. Jonathan Winters!
74
00:06:07,220 --> 00:06:13,100
Thank you. Thank you, Chairman.
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Bless your heart.
76
00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:16,060
You don't have to wait back.
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00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:24,080
Ah, dear. Well, what I love to do is to
open the trunk, pardon my back, see the
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00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:30,400
light on my front, and, of course, it's
just full of things that I've collected.
79
00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:32,060
from all over the world.
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00:06:32,380 --> 00:06:33,380
How dramatic.
81
00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:38,380
Yes, let's hope this is the front.
82
00:06:39,300 --> 00:06:40,940
Long time since I've been an officer.
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Steady as she goes.
84
00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:47,400
Elias, you do well at the wheel.
85
00:06:47,660 --> 00:06:48,660
Thank you, sir.
86
00:06:48,820 --> 00:06:52,420
Thank you. I wish I could make you out
in this bloody storm.
87
00:06:56,060 --> 00:06:57,060
My turn.
88
00:06:58,460 --> 00:06:59,460
Steady as she goes.
89
00:07:00,650 --> 00:07:03,250
I hate to kill him, but it is my ship.
90
00:07:08,270 --> 00:07:09,410
Terrific. Go ahead.
91
00:07:09,970 --> 00:07:12,130
Oh, what a lovely day.
92
00:07:13,130 --> 00:07:14,870
Margo, please, pay attention.
93
00:07:15,490 --> 00:07:16,510
Shooting star.
94
00:07:16,830 --> 00:07:17,870
My horse.
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My horse is running.
96
00:07:21,170 --> 00:07:22,650
Could I have your glasses?
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Not those, the other one.
98
00:07:25,330 --> 00:07:27,210
Poor nearsighted devil.
99
00:07:30,300 --> 00:07:32,080
Charles! Lord Charles! Hello!
100
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Hello!
101
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Why does he do that?
102
00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:38,540
Those things hurt.
103
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To you.
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That was terrific.
105
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No, it wasn't.
106
00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:55,240
I'll tell you when it is. Sorry.
107
00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:01,040
what you say.
108
00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:03,800
I'm not afraid.
109
00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:07,840
Sure, there's 6 ,000 Shoshone.
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You're walking there. Come here.
111
00:08:14,260 --> 00:08:19,220
You got a lot of lines for an Indian.
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This is going to be great.
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Is it?
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I think so. I'll be the judge, then.
Yes, sir.
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00:08:31,230 --> 00:08:32,570
So far, I'm the judge.
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Ah.
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My people,
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and I, Chief Ironhand, will do a dance
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for you.
120
00:08:54,570 --> 00:08:56,230
Please take pictures of us.
121
00:09:17,710 --> 00:09:18,990
That's an old joke.
122
00:09:19,190 --> 00:09:22,370
Well, some things improve with age. You
don't.
123
00:09:26,370 --> 00:09:31,550
It is murder out there. You know, we
must really be under that old gypsy
124
00:09:31,550 --> 00:09:35,710
curse. Fuzzy, that's ridiculous. Now,
everything's pretty much as always.
125
00:09:36,470 --> 00:09:38,090
Comet, how can you say that?
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We are doomed.
127
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Yes, what has to happen before you
realize...
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something truly bizarre, hideous, and
unnatural.
129
00:09:50,710 --> 00:09:51,710
You called?
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00:09:53,030 --> 00:09:56,730
Garnsall, you don't count. Now, I will
believe that there's a curse only if
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we're visited by something absolutely
disastrous.
132
00:10:02,450 --> 00:10:08,250
How about a meteor falling on your
zipper?
133
00:10:09,850 --> 00:10:13,350
Fivey, listen, would you go out on stage
and fill for me?
134
00:10:13,630 --> 00:10:15,590
I mean, you and Scooter could do that
song you were practicing.
135
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All right, gotcha. Scooter!
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I'm ready.
137
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Here, get out there.
138
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Oh, boy.
139
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I bet nothing else can happen tonight.
140
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Oh, bets are off.
141
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Do not fear, Earthman. We come only to
observe and ask questions.
142
00:10:40,650 --> 00:10:43,570
Fonzie, don't you think we should
introduce the number? Oh, yeah. It's
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the On Her Doorstep with me and him.
144
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When the heart is young and free and
spring is in full bloom, the young man's
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fancy turns to love. We know.
146
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There's a pair I often see as they stand
beneath the moon.
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And the other night he just let himself
go.
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What did he do?
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He kissed her. Who did? He did. Where?
150
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her doorstep last night. He hugged her.
Who did? He did. Where?
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On her doorstep last night.
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He said, you are my darling Kate. And he
squeezed her fingers in the garden.
153
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Then he kissed her. Who did?
154
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He did. Where?
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On her doorstep last night.
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I believe
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it. The show is cursed.
158
00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:41,340
Kissed her. Who did? He did. Where?
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On her doorstep last night.
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He hugged her. Who did?
161
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He did. Where?
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On her doorstep last night.
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He set you on my darling cake.
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And he squeezed her fingers in the
garden. And we did.
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You did? We did.
166
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Yes.
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Yes, come right in.
168
00:12:09,790 --> 00:12:11,290
Oh, interesting, interesting.
169
00:12:11,710 --> 00:12:14,130
Excuse me, I'm looking for Jacques
Cousteau.
170
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Would you open, please?
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Oh. Yes, there he is.
172
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Good luck to you. Thank you.
173
00:12:26,230 --> 00:12:29,910
Ridding the world of evil, here comes
Bear on patrol.
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00:12:41,149 --> 00:12:42,149
Control Bear?
175
00:12:42,390 --> 00:12:43,390
Yes, sir!
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00:12:44,050 --> 00:12:47,110
Listen, would you get back in uniform
before I put you on report?
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That is not regulation headgear.
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00:12:50,150 --> 00:12:52,590
No, this is my prisoner, sir.
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I caught him picking pockets at the
aquarium.
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Did you catch him wet -handed?
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Terrific.
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00:13:03,310 --> 00:13:06,590
Listen, Control Bear, I want you to book
him. Well, how? What do you mean, how's
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that? Well, you know, take a set of
fingerprints.
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What?
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I start?
186
00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:12,760
Well, you start with the pinky.
187
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I don't think he has a pinky. I think
they're all greenies.
188
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:20,680
He must have a pinky.
189
00:13:20,900 --> 00:13:22,680
Where would he wear his pinky ring?
190
00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:27,220
Sir, could you just get another patrol
car?
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Was that right?
192
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Help!
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00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:49,560
Please, can we talk about this?
194
00:13:51,380 --> 00:13:54,560
Something more important has just come
up, patrol bear.
195
00:13:55,740 --> 00:13:57,900
I want you to release the patrol bear.
196
00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:00,060
Would you release that prisoner, please?
197
00:14:02,280 --> 00:14:05,900
You see, that call was from the
aquarium. I want you to go over there
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00:14:05,900 --> 00:14:06,579
it out.
199
00:14:06,580 --> 00:14:08,620
Somebody stole a valuable octopus.
200
00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:24,060
I wish you... Check,
201
00:14:26,740 --> 00:14:27,740
Chief.
202
00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:32,860
Let me tell you a story, my children.
203
00:14:34,220 --> 00:14:35,220
Tell...
204
00:16:38,220 --> 00:16:42,720
Bunsen Honeydew here at Muppet Labs
where the future is being made today.
205
00:16:43,260 --> 00:16:48,140
Well, I have good news for you world
travelers who are always struggling with
206
00:16:48,140 --> 00:16:49,200
cumbersome luggage.
207
00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:53,380
Introducing the new Muppet Labs luggage
compressor.
208
00:16:53,740 --> 00:16:56,140
My assistant Beaker will demonstrate.
209
00:16:58,640 --> 00:17:03,220
Okay, Beaker, I see you've dressed like
a tourist to make the demonstration more
210
00:17:03,220 --> 00:17:05,220
realistic. Very cute.
211
00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:08,369
All right, put the bag on.
212
00:17:09,810 --> 00:17:10,810
Okay.
213
00:17:15,770 --> 00:17:16,770
Oh,
214
00:17:20,990 --> 00:17:22,230
very good.
215
00:17:24,490 --> 00:17:30,190
Now my assistant Beaker will show you
that it also works on large luggage like
216
00:17:30,190 --> 00:17:31,190
steamer trunk.
217
00:17:33,030 --> 00:17:36,330
Oh, come on, Beaker. Give it the old
college try.
218
00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:56,820
Put you in an envelope and mail you to
the hospital.
219
00:17:57,280 --> 00:17:58,280
Yes.
220
00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:10,280
Excuse me. I am Jonathan Winters. Who
are you?
221
00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:12,400
Just a moment.
222
00:18:12,580 --> 00:18:13,720
I always have to check.
223
00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:16,160
I thought I was Jonathan Winters.
224
00:18:17,340 --> 00:18:18,620
What country are you from?
225
00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:19,840
I'm from Earth.
226
00:18:19,900 --> 00:18:21,180
Are you from Earth? Yes.
227
00:18:21,620 --> 00:18:22,620
I'm a comedian.
228
00:18:23,110 --> 00:18:24,250
Are you a comedian? Yes.
229
00:18:26,410 --> 00:18:29,050
Steve Martin, gosh, you'll do anything,
won't you?
230
00:18:32,110 --> 00:18:33,250
Beautiful costume.
231
00:18:39,450 --> 00:18:46,450
When you walk
232
00:18:46,450 --> 00:18:49,050
through a storm, hold your head.
233
00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:50,499
What now?
234
00:19:50,500 --> 00:19:54,780
I just met that old gypsy woman in the
alley. She made a dire prediction.
235
00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:56,860
A dire prediction?
236
00:19:59,100 --> 00:20:03,020
So what was the dire prediction?
237
00:20:03,380 --> 00:20:07,980
The old gypsy woman said that in the
final stages of the curse, everyone
238
00:20:07,980 --> 00:20:08,980
turn Swedish.
239
00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:11,720
I don't believe it.
240
00:20:39,690 --> 00:20:41,070
I mean some of my best friends
241
00:21:55,500 --> 00:22:00,220
Is it true that everyone is turning
Swedish?
242
00:22:18,120 --> 00:22:21,480
I interrupt this entertainment to bring
you an important news bulletin. Not
243
00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:23,440
everyone on the show is turning Swedish.
244
00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:26,340
I, for one, have remained my normal
self.
245
00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:29,880
There is one type of person unaffected
by the curse.
246
00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:33,580
I am that type. The boring and stupid
type person.
247
00:22:34,620 --> 00:22:38,460
Oh, well, actually, I am sort of
starting to feel Swedish.
248
00:22:39,700 --> 00:22:41,040
Smorgasbord, Stockholm,
249
00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:42,760
Ingmar Bergman.
250
00:23:05,660 --> 00:23:07,760
New Gavnorska breakfast news.
251
00:23:07,980 --> 00:23:11,520
And I demand it now.
252
00:23:12,300 --> 00:23:15,040
Wait a minute. I can talk. The spell is
broken.
253
00:23:15,340 --> 00:23:16,340
We're saved.
254
00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:23,300
It's just that your time is up. You guys
only paid me for the half -hour curse.
255
00:23:23,780 --> 00:23:24,780
Well, thank goodness.
256
00:23:25,060 --> 00:23:29,600
So wait a second. You mean you two
geezers paid for a gypsy curse to be put
257
00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:30,279
our show?
258
00:23:30,280 --> 00:23:32,420
Yeah, but I didn't think it would
include us.
259
00:23:35,620 --> 00:23:39,140
Will you get off the stage? Come on, off
the stage, off the stage.
260
00:23:41,860 --> 00:23:43,840
Yeah, you're $7, I promised.
261
00:23:44,860 --> 00:23:47,140
So, you want the case back.
262
00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:48,740
You got it.
263
00:24:22,129 --> 00:24:24,930
Thank you.
264
00:25:13,570 --> 00:25:18,690
One gonger spurs the blue deer. When you
spurs, you spurs the deer. One gonger
265
00:25:18,690 --> 00:25:19,810
spurs my new gonger.
19888
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