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1
00:00:02,510 --> 00:00:03,469
Christopher Reeve?
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00:00:03,470 --> 00:00:05,050
Fifteen seconds to curtain, Christopher.
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00:00:05,310 --> 00:00:07,530
Oh, thanks a lot, Scooter. Hey, listen,
can you tell me what these rats are
4
00:00:07,530 --> 00:00:08,530
doing in my dressing room?
5
00:00:08,550 --> 00:00:10,270
I think it's the Foxtrot.
6
00:00:11,770 --> 00:00:13,810
Gee, most stars get groupies. I get
rats.
7
00:00:16,790 --> 00:00:20,790
It's the Muppet Show with our very
special guest star, Christopher Reeve.
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00:00:44,790 --> 00:00:47,570
You know, if this show was an airplane,
it would have been grounded.
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00:00:49,030 --> 00:00:50,630
It's time to get things started.
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00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:16,200
Muppet Show. And do we have a show for
you?
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00:01:16,420 --> 00:01:17,700
Well, as a matter of fact, we do.
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00:01:18,740 --> 00:01:23,340
Yes, and our guest star tonight is none
other than that fantastic film star, the
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00:01:23,340 --> 00:01:26,520
man who plays Superman, Mr. Christopher
Reeve.
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00:01:27,180 --> 00:01:28,180
Yes!
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00:01:28,420 --> 00:01:32,300
But right now, it's opening number time,
and the opening number happens to star
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00:01:32,300 --> 00:01:34,220
me, which is why I'm dressed this way.
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So, uh, what can I say but, uh, let's
hear it for me!
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00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:39,080
Yay!
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00:01:48,810 --> 00:01:53,590
When the sun goes down, folks all hurry
to the edge of town.
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00:01:54,470 --> 00:01:59,050
At the bayou bank, they stand and wait
in the clear air.
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00:02:01,930 --> 00:02:08,310
Soon the water ripples, gets air high,
and the lady touching me does sigh.
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00:02:09,210 --> 00:02:14,010
On a lily paddled, dressed in white, he
appears there.
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00:02:15,010 --> 00:02:19,470
And then I boogie up and down. and
shuffle right.
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00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:23,010
Slip and splash it in the moonlight
night.
25
00:02:24,610 --> 00:02:29,630
Alligators with their teeth so bright,
smiling way there, way there.
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00:02:29,830 --> 00:02:34,210
And tune up with your giant in the
jamboree.
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Everybody's happy just like me.
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Watch him dance on that log.
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It's the disc.
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New York in June. How about you?
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Okay,
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00:04:05,940 --> 00:04:09,640
way to go, frogs. Nice going alligators
and not bad meat.
33
00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:11,920
Well, not too terrifically terrible.
34
00:04:13,380 --> 00:04:14,920
I'm back. I'm back, everyone.
35
00:04:15,260 --> 00:04:16,199
Oh, Kimmy.
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00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:19,480
Kimmy. Oh, I'm back. Hey, Piggy, where
have you been? Because the show has
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00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:20,379
already started.
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00:04:20,380 --> 00:04:24,500
Oh, Kimmy. Well, I just stepped out to
pick up a costume for my number tonight.
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00:04:24,780 --> 00:04:25,479
Oh, yeah.
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00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:26,900
What's so special about this number?
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00:04:27,220 --> 00:04:28,220
Oh.
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00:04:45,040 --> 00:04:47,500
You'll get to sing the song again right
after the guest star spot.
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00:04:48,420 --> 00:04:49,900
Oh, good. Who's the guest star?
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00:04:50,140 --> 00:04:51,140
Christopher Reeve.
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00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:55,360
Christopher Reeve?
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00:04:58,360 --> 00:04:59,680
Kermit, where's Kermit?
47
00:05:00,020 --> 00:05:01,020
Kermit!
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00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:05,320
Gonzo, you're supposed to be doing the
first act of William Shakespeare's
49
00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:06,540
while hanging from your nose.
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00:05:07,500 --> 00:05:08,660
I can't go on.
51
00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:09,899
Why not?
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I sprained my...
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00:05:14,260 --> 00:05:15,420
rehearsing with heavy shoes.
54
00:05:16,640 --> 00:05:20,260
But, uh, listen, we rented the scenery
and the costumes and everything.
55
00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:21,839
Yeah, boss?
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00:05:21,840 --> 00:05:24,980
Do we have anybody else backstage that
can play Hamlet? Well, there's Chris
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00:05:24,980 --> 00:05:28,480
Reeve. He's real good, and he's not busy
till the vet's hospital. Good luck.
58
00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:29,600
Just stall for me, would you?
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00:05:30,060 --> 00:05:31,220
Stall? Oh,
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00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:35,580
it's Christopher Reeve!
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00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:43,060
Listen, are you doing anything special
right now, Chris?
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00:05:43,340 --> 00:05:46,040
No. I'm just hanging around the phone
booth in case trouble breaks out. Well,
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00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:50,660
listen, it just did. And I was wondering
if you'd like to fill in for Gonzo's
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00:05:50,660 --> 00:05:51,559
Hamlet spot.
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00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:53,860
Hamlet? Wouldn't you like to play
Hamlet? No.
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00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:57,100
But every actor wants to play Hamlet.
No, not really.
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00:05:57,940 --> 00:05:59,380
Well, this is your big chance then.
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00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:02,360
Okay. But you'll have to wear tights.
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00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:04,600
Well, it won't be the first time.
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00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:06,080
Okay.
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00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:08,980
Oh, maybe I should change.
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00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:21,720
Introduce me, my good frog.
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00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:24,560
Yes, sir. Right.
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00:06:27,780 --> 00:06:32,180
Okay, thank you very much, Scooter. And
now, ladies and gentlemen, the soliloquy
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from Hamlet.
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00:06:33,100 --> 00:06:37,620
And filling in for the ailing great
Gonzo, here is the equally great, if not
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better or possibly only a little worse
than Mr. Christopher Reeve.
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00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:51,600
or not to be.
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00:06:51,760 --> 00:06:53,720
That is the, um,
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00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:56,240
um, not now.
81
00:06:57,380 --> 00:06:58,820
No, no, no, that's your line.
82
00:06:59,380 --> 00:07:00,380
I know.
83
00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:03,520
To be or not to be, that is the
question.
84
00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:09,800
Whether it is nobler in the mind to
suffer the slings and arrows of
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fortune.
86
00:07:14,360 --> 00:07:17,460
Excuse me, Mr. Hamlet, do you want this
now?
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00:07:18,010 --> 00:07:22,950
Upon what grounds do you disturb my
soliloquy? Well, it's time for my coffee
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00:07:22,950 --> 00:07:23,950
break.
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00:07:24,050 --> 00:07:25,070
Coffee grounds?
90
00:07:26,470 --> 00:07:29,430
But please don't be mad, Mr. Hamlet.
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00:07:29,790 --> 00:07:31,990
I'm not mad. I'm acting.
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00:07:32,270 --> 00:07:33,270
Let me see.
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00:07:34,970 --> 00:07:36,550
Alas, poor Yorick.
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00:07:37,110 --> 00:07:38,490
I knew him, Horatio.
95
00:07:39,450 --> 00:07:44,310
Terrific. A fellow of infinite depth and
most excellent fancy.
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00:07:46,190 --> 00:07:49,570
Fancy. Ma always said I was the plain
one.
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00:07:51,230 --> 00:07:56,330
And he hath borne me on his back a
thousand times.
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00:07:56,650 --> 00:07:59,710
If you ask me, I'm still carrying the
whole thing.
99
00:08:00,050 --> 00:08:02,010
Why don't you guys sing?
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00:08:02,710 --> 00:08:04,250
Hamlet doesn't sing.
101
00:08:04,790 --> 00:08:05,830
Hey, I can sing.
102
00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:11,180
You're not Hamlet. Oh, well, listen,
Hamlet was my nickname back when I was a
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00:08:11,180 --> 00:08:12,200
little porker.
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00:08:13,460 --> 00:08:17,060
Listen, I don't usually perform with
amateurs.
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00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:18,960
Amateurs, eh? Huh.
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00:08:19,580 --> 00:08:20,680
I'll show you.
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00:08:25,860 --> 00:08:28,120
Oh, good God.
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00:08:28,480 --> 00:08:32,679
Wow. Hey, that's Hamlet 2, audience
nothing.
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We're ready for Shakespeare.
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Yeah, well, he's not ready for you
either.
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00:08:40,220 --> 00:08:42,220
Ooh. Thank you.
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00:08:42,600 --> 00:08:43,600
You're welcome.
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Brush up your Shakespeare.
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Start quoting him now.
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00:08:52,580 --> 00:08:58,880
Brush up your Shakespeare and the women
you will wow. Just
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00:08:58,880 --> 00:09:01,140
declaim a few lines from Othello.
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00:09:01,360 --> 00:09:03,540
Yes, sir. And then sing your one hat.
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00:09:03,820 --> 00:09:04,459
of a fella.
119
00:09:04,460 --> 00:09:09,520
Hey! If your blonde won't respond when
you flatter her, tell her what Tony told
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00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:10,520
Cleopatra.
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00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:16,220
And if still to be shocked she pretends
well, just remind her that all's well
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00:09:16,220 --> 00:09:17,500
that ends well. Hey!
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00:09:17,780 --> 00:09:22,940
Crush up your Shakespeare and they'll
all count out.
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00:09:39,910 --> 00:09:43,630
didn't study Shakespeare when I was a
kid. When you were a kid, you could have
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talked to Shakespeare.
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00:09:46,890 --> 00:09:47,890
Oh, let's see.
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00:09:49,710 --> 00:09:52,890
I better tell Piggy that her vet's
hospital sketch is coming up next.
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00:09:53,350 --> 00:09:55,230
Oh, her door is ajar.
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00:10:57,580 --> 00:11:01,300
that a killer lamb had escaped from the
Department of Agriculture's maximum
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00:11:01,300 --> 00:11:02,680
security sheep station.
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00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:07,820
This lamb is one of a new kind of sheep
that has been bred to hunt wolves and is
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extremely dangerous.
133
00:11:11,420 --> 00:11:16,440
Uh, this killer lamb has been trained to
attack at the sound of a bell.
134
00:11:18,020 --> 00:11:19,020
Hello?
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00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:26,640
Time once again for Veterinarian's
Hospital.
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00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:32,080
The continuing story of a quack who's
gone to the dogs.
137
00:11:32,460 --> 00:11:34,720
Hey, wait a minute. I'm not supposed to
be the patient.
138
00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:37,200
Today you're getting a dose of your own
medicine.
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00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:40,740
Yeah, but my medicine tastes bad.
140
00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:43,600
Well, bad taste never bothered you
before.
141
00:11:44,780 --> 00:11:46,800
Okay, okay. Who's going to be the
doctor?
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00:11:47,140 --> 00:11:48,019
Dr. Reed.
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00:11:48,020 --> 00:11:48,839
Oh, Chrissy.
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00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:52,540
Chrissy. Sorry I'm late, nurse. My caddy
collapsed on the 17th hole.
145
00:11:56,570 --> 00:11:57,570
I'm a GP.
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00:11:57,670 --> 00:11:59,970
Yes, a gorgeous person.
147
00:12:03,010 --> 00:12:05,630
Please, Nurse Piggy, stop panting.
You're fogging my mirror.
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00:12:07,590 --> 00:12:08,890
I can't help it.
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00:12:09,350 --> 00:12:10,350
I love you!
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00:12:12,290 --> 00:12:13,290
Thank you.
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00:12:14,290 --> 00:12:15,290
Let's see now.
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00:12:15,490 --> 00:12:17,070
Oh, looks bad. I'm going to operate.
153
00:12:17,510 --> 00:12:18,510
Oh, no, no!
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00:12:18,790 --> 00:12:19,810
Oh, come now, this won't hurt a bit.
155
00:12:20,070 --> 00:12:22,390
Oh, it'll hurt this bit if you don't get
laughs with it.
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00:12:24,110 --> 00:12:26,630
Well, I'm not trying to get laughs. I
don't want to set a precedent on the
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00:12:28,290 --> 00:12:32,510
Touché, touché. Now just relax. I'll
have you fixed in no time. Please, never
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00:12:32,510 --> 00:12:33,670
say fixed to a dog.
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00:12:34,790 --> 00:12:37,390
Well, anyway, you won't feel any pain.
I'm going to put you to sleep.
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00:12:37,610 --> 00:12:39,930
Oh, no, never say put to sleep to a dog.
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00:12:41,770 --> 00:12:42,769
Now, now, now, come.
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00:12:42,770 --> 00:12:43,810
This has gone far enough.
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00:12:44,030 --> 00:12:46,710
Chrissy, let us go to the nurse's lounge
and... Yes?
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Lounge!
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00:12:50,510 --> 00:12:53,850
And so we come to the end of another
veterinarian's hospital.
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00:12:54,450 --> 00:12:56,490
Tune in next week when you'll hear Dr.
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00:12:56,750 --> 00:12:59,170
Reeves say... Wait a minute, I'm not
going to be here next week. You mean
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00:12:59,170 --> 00:13:01,230
leaving? Faster than a speeding bullet.
169
00:13:08,090 --> 00:13:11,970
This show is disgusting. Get away. Get
away.
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00:13:12,190 --> 00:13:14,990
I'm going to write to someone important
and put a stop to it.
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00:13:19,820 --> 00:13:22,140
Like... Dear sir.
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00:13:23,620 --> 00:13:25,920
This show is sick and weird.
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00:13:27,660 --> 00:13:33,600
There are... That is not my song.
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I do not have a song.
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00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:40,100
There are... Get off the table.
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00:13:40,580 --> 00:13:44,320
There are rats here.
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00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:48,680
It's under your skin.
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00:13:48,980 --> 00:13:51,540
It's only a song can do.
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00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:55,440
People that you meet by the lily on the
street.
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00:13:57,780 --> 00:13:58,780
Don't whistle.
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00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:00,080
Oh, no.
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00:14:02,540 --> 00:14:05,280
There is a thing whistling.
183
00:14:07,700 --> 00:14:11,380
Don't forget your trouble and where it's
mine.
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00:14:11,580 --> 00:14:13,020
There is a thing whistling.
185
00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:19,260
I would suggest to have someone come and
fumigate.
186
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:29,540
There's a lump playing harmonica.
187
00:14:32,020 --> 00:14:33,240
Get away!
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00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:37,180
There are vermin in here.
189
00:14:49,449 --> 00:14:53,510
All right, out, out, out, out, get out,
get out, get out, get out of here.
190
00:14:58,770 --> 00:15:01,030
Hey, Sam, that's a nice song. What is
that?
191
00:15:01,650 --> 00:15:03,750
Oh, I don't know, something called
Fred's Song.
192
00:15:04,690 --> 00:15:05,690
That's very pretty.
193
00:15:06,250 --> 00:15:07,250
No, it's not.
194
00:15:08,890 --> 00:15:10,750
Okay, let's see now. Did that one.
195
00:15:12,300 --> 00:15:14,740
Oh, hey, this is going to be good. Look.
May I have a word with you?
196
00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:16,320
Oui, bien sûr. Entrez.
197
00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:17,720
What?
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00:15:17,940 --> 00:15:18,940
Come in.
199
00:15:19,260 --> 00:15:20,260
Listen,
200
00:15:20,460 --> 00:15:22,080
guys, I'll see you later, okay? Thanks a
lot. Bye.
201
00:15:23,260 --> 00:15:24,900
Move it.
202
00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:26,520
What?
203
00:15:29,060 --> 00:15:30,060
Oh, Christopher.
204
00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:30,959
I'm speaking.
205
00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:34,960
He gave you a wonderful necklace sketch.
Oh, come on. Tell me, how did you get a
206
00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:37,260
job at Superman? Did someone see you
lifting weights or what?
207
00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:39,939
Lifting weights?
208
00:15:39,940 --> 00:15:41,640
No, no, no. I just auditioned for the
part.
209
00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:45,380
You know, like a lot of other actors. Uh
-huh. But, you know, strikes really had
210
00:15:45,380 --> 00:15:46,380
nothing to do with it.
211
00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:51,200
You're certain about that?
212
00:15:53,820 --> 00:15:54,820
Ooh.
213
00:15:55,580 --> 00:15:56,580
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
214
00:15:57,720 --> 00:15:58,720
I didn't bring it.
215
00:15:59,380 --> 00:16:00,560
Oh, pity.
216
00:16:02,360 --> 00:16:05,960
Oh, how exciting it is to be in the same
dressing room with the world's
217
00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:07,240
strongest man.
218
00:16:07,460 --> 00:16:09,280
Mr. Piggy, come on now. I mean, I tell
you.
219
00:16:09,610 --> 00:16:12,270
Being strong had nothing to do with
getting the part. I mean, I've just been
220
00:16:12,270 --> 00:16:13,870
lucky so far. Well, knock on wood.
221
00:16:17,870 --> 00:16:19,310
Uh, Christopher?
222
00:16:19,990 --> 00:16:23,110
Christopher, remember in the movie when
you held Lois Lane?
223
00:16:23,450 --> 00:16:27,850
Mm -hmm. Could you use my body as a
visual demonstration?
224
00:16:28,470 --> 00:16:31,810
What, to put my arm around her? Show me?
Yes. And the other arm where? Yeah, the
225
00:16:31,810 --> 00:16:34,750
other arm too. And you held it tighter?
Well, I had to because otherwise she'd
226
00:16:34,750 --> 00:16:36,870
fall, right? Tighter? Yeah, sort of like
that.
227
00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:38,330
Tighter?
228
00:16:39,500 --> 00:16:40,500
me, Chris.
229
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:46,780
Christopher here was showing me how to,
he was, what were you doing?
230
00:16:47,060 --> 00:16:49,860
I was just showing her how I held Lois
Lane in the movie. In the movie, Lois
231
00:16:49,860 --> 00:16:50,860
Lane, yeah.
232
00:16:51,900 --> 00:16:53,900
That's the worst explanation I've ever
heard.
233
00:16:56,700 --> 00:16:58,300
Why? You look kind of jealous.
234
00:16:58,720 --> 00:17:00,100
Oh, he always looks jealous.
235
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:02,180
That's his natural color.
236
00:17:45,040 --> 00:17:49,620
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew here at Muppet Labs
where the future is being made today.
237
00:17:49,940 --> 00:17:54,640
Well, my assistant Beaker is bringing an
old bossy here because today we're
238
00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:59,300
going to test Muppet Labs' latest
invention, the electrically heated
239
00:17:59,300 --> 00:18:00,300
machine.
240
00:18:02,480 --> 00:18:03,480
Yes,
241
00:18:03,900 --> 00:18:09,100
cows just love sliding into a warm, cozy
milking machine on these frosty
242
00:18:09,100 --> 00:18:10,640
mornings, don't they, Beaker?
243
00:18:20,810 --> 00:18:22,390
You'll get dandruff in the milk.
244
00:18:27,590 --> 00:18:33,170
Why, Beaker, you're hauntingly
attractive today.
245
00:18:39,230 --> 00:18:42,950
And now, ladies and gentlemen, here is
Miss Piggy to sing Never Before and
246
00:18:42,950 --> 00:18:45,730
Again, a song that means a lot to the
two of us. Ladies and gentlemen, Miss
247
00:18:45,730 --> 00:18:46,730
Pig...
248
00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:13,340
I hope I did not hurt your palsy, Walt.
249
00:19:19,060 --> 00:19:20,980
Figgy, what happened to Ralph?
250
00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:22,480
I do not know.
251
00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:24,860
Someone must have blown a doggy with
him.
252
00:19:26,420 --> 00:19:28,100
What do we do about a pianist?
253
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:32,440
Do you think possibly Christopher could
play piano for me?
254
00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:34,580
Why not? He does everything else.
255
00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:42,780
Piggy wants you to play piano for her.
Play the piano for her? Yeah.
256
00:19:43,420 --> 00:19:45,840
What do you think, guys? Play the piano?
Yeah? Yeah?
257
00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:47,800
Okay. I'm game for anything.
258
00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:52,280
Boy, I'll tell you something. This is
quite a phone booth.
259
00:19:57,520 --> 00:19:59,280
How about that, huh?
260
00:19:59,500 --> 00:20:00,500
Nice, nice.
261
00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:04,380
Okay. Oh, listen. If anybody calls while
I'm out, take a number. I'll call back.
262
00:20:04,660 --> 00:20:06,280
Super Rat, you're in charge.
263
00:20:28,970 --> 00:20:29,969
Never before, never again?
264
00:20:29,970 --> 00:20:32,630
I know. I have an especial song for us.
265
00:20:32,970 --> 00:20:36,530
Uh, East of the Sun and West of the
Moon. Mm -hmm. I don't think I know this
266
00:20:36,530 --> 00:20:37,530
one.
267
00:21:01,870 --> 00:21:02,870
Is that my note?
268
00:21:03,090 --> 00:21:04,090
Oh, thank you.
269
00:21:04,590 --> 00:21:11,470
I wish that we could live up in the sky
Where we could find a place away
270
00:21:11,470 --> 00:21:12,470
up high
271
00:22:45,100 --> 00:22:46,160
Just a short trip. I'm ready.
272
00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:47,720
Oh, wait!
273
00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:50,160
Wait!
274
00:22:50,700 --> 00:22:53,860
See, I'm sorry, Miss Piggy. I don't
think I can manage. Maybe you gained a
275
00:22:53,860 --> 00:22:54,860
pounds.
276
00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:56,800
Shut the ding, Reeves!
277
00:23:54,700 --> 00:23:56,480
Boy, I tell you, you guys are crazy, but
I had a great time.
278
00:23:56,720 --> 00:23:57,740
Oh, good. Well, listen.
279
00:23:57,980 --> 00:24:01,660
Tell me the truth, Chris. You really
could have lifted Miss Piggy if you
280
00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:02,720
couldn't you?
281
00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:03,739
Are you kidding?
282
00:24:03,740 --> 00:24:06,780
Usually I have to lift locomotives, and
some of them are even heavier than she
283
00:24:06,780 --> 00:24:07,780
is.
284
00:24:57,320 --> 00:24:58,720
This has been an evening to remember.
285
00:24:59,100 --> 00:25:00,900
Why? I forgot.
21818
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