Original subtitles

Hi, I'm Brian Henson.

Everyone knows that my father performed Kermit the Frog, but he also did a lot

of other characters.

He performed the sweetest chef, Dr.

Keith, Ralph the Dog,

Waldorf, and Link Hogthrob.

Link Hogthrob is actually one voice that I remember very well.

As a kid, whenever my dad did some stereotypical fatherly chore, like

the Thanksgiving turkey, that would be the voice he would use. Surely you

recognize the independent heating slash unifying element on the horizontal

equalizing plane?

I guess when the character of this pompous, not -too -bright pig came

figured, well, that voice would fit just perfectly.

See if you can tell which characters are my father's voices in this next episode

of The Muppet Show.

Oh, Dudley, Dudley Moore, 15 seconds for curtain, Mr. Moore. Thanks, Scooter.

Say, I'm having a bit of trouble getting this piano in tune. Can you give me an

A? Sure, easy.

It's the Muppet Show with our very special guest star, Dudley Moore.

Yay!

Watch what you say tonight.

I think the place is bugged.

And a terrific show it is because our special guest is one of England's

brightest stars of music and comedy, Mr. Dudley Moore. But first, to get things

started, we have invited a talented group of young unknowns.

So let's give them a big hand.

But you know, you fellas should find a name for your group. We were thinking of

something like the Grateful Dead.

The who?

Nah, it's been done.

It's been done too.

Hey, it's Dudley Moore.

Hi, Dudley.

You ready for my number yet?

Well, not yet. But matter of fact, the band was wondering how they're going to

play your accompaniment without any arrangements.

Band?

Arrangements? Sure.

I don't need any arrangements.

Really? How come?

I've got Mama.

fugitive from Star Wars.

Its name is Mama, huh? Yeah.

Music and mood management apparatus.

Mama.

Plays anything you want? Exactly.

Is it any good?

Is it any good?

This is the ultimate achievement.

This is man's synthesis of science and art.

This is the Sistine Chapel of innovation.

It's good, huh?

Gee, hey, could we use it for our next number? Sure, what is it? It's called At

The Dance.

My pleasure.

Okay,

everybody on stage for At The Dispo Dance.

This is going to be so funny.

Oh, yeah.

Hey, hey, everybody, hey, listen.

What is green, waves its arms, and is found in Chinese restaurants, huh? I

know. What is green, waves its arms, and is found in Chinese restaurants?

Kermit the Egg Roll.

the top hits of 1929 written by Charles Cal Cal Davenport called Mama Don't

Laugh. Oh, good.

Cal Cal's songs are so moving.

Okay, and it's played for you with his music and mood management apparatus by

the fabulous...

You're going to wake up playing a hop because mama don't allow no guitar

in here.

Take it, mama.

Would you believe this? It's a musical garbage can.

Playing musical garbage.

Yeah, it ain't got that sweet.

That it is being played.

Ain't nobody being paid.

True, true time.

Mama don't allow no drummer man in here.

Mama don't allow no drummer man in here.

Mama said she's gonna learn a bowl if she had drumming in this room. Cause

don't allow no drumming in here.

Hey, Cricket Brett.

Hi, guys.

What's this electric no -man's band you're using?

That's just an experiment. That's all, Floyd.

Listen, Turtle Bait.

Just because it can play for Dudley Moore don't mean it can play the rest of

show. Right, right, right. The rest of the show.

Floyd, that's a wonderful idea.

I'll just plug the background music button here.

Rolf, hey, Rolf, where are you going? Wait a minute, man.

Hey, we've got to present a solid front on this.

You do the solid front bit. I'm going to call this monkey I know who's looking

for an organ grinder.

Well, I'm... Everybody else stays for Pigs in Space?

Well,

it's a sad day for musicians.

Yeah. I can almost hear Beethoven turning over in his grave.

And now, Pigs in Space!

When last we left the spaceship Swine Trek, it was being followed by a

mysterious object.

It looks like one of those things that scientists send up from Earth. What do

you call them?

Of course it's a light.

Looks like a lot of lights, but what do you call it?

My cup of time is off to a great start.

Link, I've just found out what that object is.

What is it, Dr.

Strangepork? I'll tell you when I make my entrance.

Hmm?

Pretty big fanfare for a mere passenger -scientist.

Imagine what it would be for a captain.

Think I'll try it.

Here I go.

Your captain is here.

This is a catastrophe.

How come it always plays dumb music when I talk?

I can't take any more of this. I'm walking.

You can't. Ha! Watch me.

What do you think you're doing?

Just what you told us to.

Yeah, you said watch me.

on the subject, so it's probably best to talk about it. Yeah, I'm glad you feel

that way. Yeah, well, why don't we openly and freely express our feelings

subject? Good.

I feel that that cheap...

I think it's a very succinct and valid expression of your opinion.

I, on the other hand, feel that technological advances should not be

viewed as an enemy. I mean, after all, great triumphs of

science are also

true advances of the human spirit.

And I don't feel that we should let temporary or

personal considerations stand in the way.

It's time once again for Gonzo the Great.

Gonzo apparently has a real crazy act tonight. He won't even tell me what it

but I do have this message. We have to ask for complete and total silence from

everyone.

The music machine seems to be on the sick list.

Maybe it'll still work.

Japanese kabuki music.

Listen, guys, if you all will finish up the show, I promise I will never even

think of using another band.

and a splendid evening marred only by the fact that we blew up half the

But before we go, let us have one last round of applause for our very special

guest star, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Dudley Moore!

Thank

you

very much, Kermit. It's been a real pleasure playing the remains of the

Theater.

Yeah, and I'm sorry to say that we broke your machine.

Oh. No trouble. I'm happy to say I fixed it again.

I'm sorry to say I liked it better when it was broken.

I'll just program it for the closing theme.

Good. Well, there's nothing left for me to say, but we'll see you next time on

The Muppet Show.

They blew up half the theater. At least they blew up the right half.

There.