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Shields and yarn now.
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Fifteen seconds for curtain shields and
yarn now.
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Kermit's finally booked guest stars
weirder than we are.
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It's the Muppet Show with our very
special guest stars, Shields and...
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wrong, police.
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I wish we were, but there's the frog.
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The Muppet Show. Hey, do we have a good
one for you tonight? Don't ask. Of
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course we do.
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Tonight's guest stars are those
phenomenal artists of mime, Shield and
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Boss, boss, bad news about the guest
stars. What is it, Scooter? They're
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machines.
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Shield and Yarnell are robots.
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They are not. They are so.
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They were just moving like this.
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Scooter, watch out for the orchestra
pit. Whoa!
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Right into the tuba.
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Hey, Tiny, would you give a blast on
that thing?
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Good, are you okay?
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Fine, boss.
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Just fine.
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Okay, well, ladies and gentlemen, our
opening number, Take a Chance.
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I did, I did.
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Okay, Take a Chance!
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Take a chance on me.
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If you need me, let me know. Gonna be
around.
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If you got no place to go and you're
feeling down.
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If you're all I know.
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When the 50 birds have no money, I'm
still free.
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Take a chance on me.
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Gonna do my best. Please don't make no
noise.
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You put me to the test if you let me
try.
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Take a
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chance
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on me.
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You keep asking, why are they doing
that?
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Okay, nice number, Bird. Very nice. Hey,
Kermit, do we get paid
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extra for working on the high wire?
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Uh, no.
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Cheat! Cheat!
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Hey, come here. Come here.
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You know, Shields and Yonel have been
teaching me the subtle art of mime.
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Mime, uh -huh. Yeah, hey, watch this,
okay? Tell me what it is.
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Bear walking up stairs.
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Right.
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Okay, watch this, okay? Tell me what
this is now.
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What's that? What's that?
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Fuzzy, look, I'm really kind of busy
right now. Do it again.
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Bear going up escalator.
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You got it.
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Okay, now here is my biggie, okay? Watch
this.
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Bear walking against the wind.
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You weren't even looking.
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I didn't have to. All mimes do walking
against the wind. Fozzie, you've got to
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be more original.
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Okay, well, ladies and gentlemen, our
guest stars tonight are masters in the
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of mime. Here they are doing one of
their classic sketches, robots having
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breakfast. Ladies and gentlemen, Shields
and Yarnell.
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Is that their act?
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Yep. Well, how come they don't talk?
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Because it's mime.
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I thought you said it was theirs.
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Hey, Floyd, what am I doing? What am I
doing? Hey,
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man, I don't know what kind of trip
you're on, but I hope you bought a
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ticket.
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What does that look like I'm doing?
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It looks like you're feeding spaghetti
to an elephant.
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Yeah, right, right. That's exactly
right.
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How many mimes have you seen doing that,
huh?
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Only one, and he got killed doing it.
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Killed? Well, come to think of it, he
wasn't a mime. He was just some guy who
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tried to feed an elephant spaghetti.
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They hate Italian food.
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That's a terrific idea for my finish in
this act. Okay, here. I feed the
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spaghetti, and the elephant takes it.
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and wraps it around my neck and it gets
me knocked out.
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The brain of the bear has gone bye -bye.
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Hi, guys. Mind if I come in?
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Boy, you look happy.
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I'm not happy.
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I'm miserable.
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I gotta come up with an act for next
week's show.
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You guys know the kind of acts I do?
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That's it. That's exactly what I do.
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Listen, if you were me, what would you
recommend?
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He's gonna show me.
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Okay, I think I got it.
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Yes?
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This is... That's fantastic!
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I might pick up every girl.
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You'd think I'd be happy, but I'm not.
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Everybody knows my name. But it's just a
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crazy game. Oh,
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it's lonely at the...
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They're playing just for me.
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Listen to the people praying just for
me.
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I'll just see what these two buckaroos
want.
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00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:33,350
What's the matter? Never seen any like a
couple cars before?
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Before, yes. Now, no.
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Mark Tender, get us two sarsaparillas.
100
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Yes, sir.
101
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Okay, let's play some poker.
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All right.
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in here mister?
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My father, his finger went off
accidentally.
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all ready with my mime app.
106
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Oh, good, because you're on next.
107
00:16:16,860 --> 00:16:20,320
Yeah, yeah. Hey, I've really got some
original ones, too. My opening is
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dynamite. Watch this.
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Bear watching a tennis match between two
turtles.
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Fuzzy, that's a little slow for an
opener.
111
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You're right. I'll switch it to
giraffes.
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That's better.
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Much better.
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Well, it's better.
115
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Then there is this classic.
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The
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frog
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is shaking his head.
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Shaking his head at the classic bear
going to drive -in movie with porcupine.
120
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Fozzie. Yes, yes.
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You see, Shields and Yarnell have made a
career out of mine. Yeah? They've
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worked very hard to perfect it, and if
you go out there... Oh, yeah, yeah,
123
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right. They'll suffer by comparison.
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I understand.
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You do not want me to show up your
guests.
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Tell you what.
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I'll lay back a little.
128
00:17:25,109 --> 00:17:26,510
No, no, no. Don't do that.
129
00:17:27,430 --> 00:17:31,830
You're right. I'll give it my best shot.
Come it. It's a cruel business.
130
00:17:32,330 --> 00:17:35,110
It certainly is. I'll go introduce you.
Okay.
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walking on stage.
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00:17:40,260 --> 00:17:45,260
Okay, ladies and gentlemen, tonight our
own Fozzie Bear is making his debut in
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the classic art of mime.
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00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:49,020
Ladies and gentlemen, Fozzie Bear!
135
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Hey, hey, hey, thank you, thank you, and
thank you, Mr.
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00:17:54,060 --> 00:18:00,960
Frog. All right, here is my first mime.
Picture, if you will, a bear watching a
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tennis match between two giraffes.
138
00:18:10,410 --> 00:18:11,410
Between two turtles?
139
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Huh?
140
00:18:13,710 --> 00:18:14,750
He is slow.
141
00:18:15,270 --> 00:18:16,270
All right.
142
00:18:16,550 --> 00:18:23,530
Now, picture, if you will, a bear at a
drive -in movie with a porcupine.
143
00:18:23,870 --> 00:18:26,790
Hey, what's the name of the movie
playing at the drive -in?
144
00:18:27,510 --> 00:18:29,330
I don't know. What's the point?
145
00:18:29,610 --> 00:18:35,970
You'll find out if you're there with a
porcupine. All right, moving right
146
00:18:36,650 --> 00:18:39,690
As you all know, elephants hate
spaghetti.
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00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:43,920
So with that in mind, picture, if you
will. Wait a minute. Italian elephants
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don't hate spaghetti. They love it.
149
00:18:47,100 --> 00:18:48,980
This is not an Italian elephant.
150
00:18:49,280 --> 00:18:51,100
This one hates spaghetti. Do you mind?
151
00:18:53,260 --> 00:18:58,880
See? And then he's got me by the throat.
And then he's trying to kill me.
152
00:18:59,100 --> 00:19:02,680
You might as well. You've been dying all
night. It'll put you out of your
153
00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:03,680
misery.
154
00:19:03,860 --> 00:19:05,580
It'll put us out of ours, too.
155
00:19:24,940 --> 00:19:28,640
Why doesn't he do something clever like
walking upstairs or walking against the
156
00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:31,380
wind? No way. The bear's got no
imagination.
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00:19:32,300 --> 00:19:33,300
Okay,
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well, so far we have certainly proved
that our very special guest stars are
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00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:41,460
masters of the art of mime. Well, here
they are now to show you they do
160
00:19:41,460 --> 00:19:44,380
everything else good, too. Ladies and
gentlemen, chills in your nose!
161
00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:19,000
Okay, you want comedy? You got it. It's
animal impression time. Do I hear any
162
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:20,000
regrets?
163
00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:21,320
How about a gorilla?
164
00:21:52,260 --> 00:21:53,260
No, no, no.
165
00:23:14,890 --> 00:23:18,010
last line. Ladies and gentlemen, feeding
spaghetti to an elephant.
166
00:23:18,590 --> 00:23:21,370
Please hold it. This man stole my big
head.
167
00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:56,460
the Muppet Show. But before we go, let
us have a warm thank you for our very
168
00:23:56,460 --> 00:23:59,680
special guest stars, ladies and
gentlemen, the wonderful Shields and
169
00:23:59,780 --> 00:24:00,780
Yay!
170
00:24:05,860 --> 00:24:08,300
Herman, we had an incredible time
tonight.
171
00:24:08,540 --> 00:24:12,220
Yeah, we did. And we want to thank
Fozzie Bear for giving us that classic
172
00:24:12,220 --> 00:24:14,720
sketch, feeding spaghetti to an elk.
That's okay.
173
00:24:15,420 --> 00:24:18,260
I figure you need some quality material
in your act.
174
00:24:18,500 --> 00:24:19,500
We do.
175
00:24:20,180 --> 00:24:24,020
And thanks for showing me that chicken
trick. It really works.
176
00:24:24,780 --> 00:24:25,900
Come on, girls.
177
00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:27,240
What?
178
00:24:27,620 --> 00:24:30,100
Hey, Gonzo, it looks like you've really
been busy.
179
00:24:30,740 --> 00:24:32,700
Well, my coop runneth over.
180
00:24:34,500 --> 00:24:36,840
We will see you next time on The Muppet
Show.
181
00:25:13,550 --> 00:25:16,670
Just when you think this show is
terrible, something wonderful happens.
182
00:25:16,910 --> 00:25:18,230
What? It ends. Oh!
14017
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