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Elka Summer?
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Fifteen seconds to curtain, Miss Summer.
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Thank you, Scooter. Listen, I hate to
complain, but there's a man eating my
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00:00:11,360 --> 00:00:12,360
makeup table.
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I'm terribly sorry.
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Fred, you're supposed to eat the
wardrobe.
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Sorry.
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Wardrobe? That makes more sense.
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I guess so.
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The Muppet Show with our very special
guest, our Elkie Summer.
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It's time to play the music.
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It's time to light the light.
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00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:55,520
It's time to meet the Muppet on the
Muppet Show tonight.
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00:00:56,800 --> 00:00:58,560
It's time to put on makeup.
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It's time to dress up right.
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It's time to get things started.
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Why don't you get things started?
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It's time to get things started on the
most sensational, inspirational,
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celebrational, momentational PNC.
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This is the Muppet Show, and you have
been warned.
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Hey, we have a real treat tonight
because our very special guest star is
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the world's most beautiful and talented
ladies, Miss Elka Summer.
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But before we get to her, ladies and
gentlemen, bye.
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That's my baby. That's my baby.
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Is that your kid?
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Of course not. I'm just babysitting.
This is my grandson.
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Well, there is a resemblance.
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Yeah, but I won't be bought in two
flicks forever.
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Okay, Muppet Labs on stage next. Muppet
Labs.
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Mr. Kermit, where's Beaker? Beaker, I'm
sure I don't know.
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Little paddle, I shall have to cancel
Muppet Labs this week. And I was going
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give Beaker the honor of demonstrating
this new diesel shaver.
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A close shave for Beaker either way.
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Sorry to cancel at such short notice.
Oh, that's okay.
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I hate to go out there and lose face.
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I'm sure Beaker felt the same way.
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this is a new one.
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I'll plug it in and see if it's working.
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It's working.
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00:04:30,210 --> 00:04:37,090
Okay, owing to the unfortunate
cancellation of Muppet Land, combined
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with the fact that the furniture is
taking over the show, it's around this
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that I start to wonder why I do it.
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There is a reason, of course, and here
it is. We now turn over our stage to the
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lovely and talented Miss Alka -Summer.
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Lions and tigers watching me.
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I make them jump right to the pool.
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Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. One
second. Listen, I'm sorry, Elkie, but
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great singer and a terrific performer.
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Thank you. But you see, this whole
little girl look just isn't right for
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show. But why? I mean, it's such a cute
little show with little pigs and little
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dogs. and not to even mention little
froggies.
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Yeah, but you see, we try to appeal to
adults.
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I mean, we're very suave, sophisticated
duckies and piggies and froggies.
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Oh, gee.
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Yeah, well, gee, I got the whole thing
all wrong.
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Do you think I could get a chance to do
it again?
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Well, okay, yeah, sure, of course.
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Okay, curtain!
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Curtain!
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I'm sorry for that little hitch, folks.
But here she is now, the wonderful Miss
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Alka -Summer.
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But I have fun swallowing animals one
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by one.
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In every bowl of good wine,
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lions and tigers are what you need.
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I make them come to life a fool.
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How is it now, Kermit? I mean, wasn't
that sophisticated enough? I gave it
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everything I had.
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Yeah. Yeah, well, that's true. But it's
just, well, it's not the way that we
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would do it. I mean, you people?
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Mm -hmm. Well, how would you people do
it then?
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00:07:19,340 --> 00:07:20,920
Oh, well, would you like to do it our
way?
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Sure, we'd like to do it your way.
That's what I'm here for.
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Oh, wow.
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Brave girl.
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Okay, curtain.
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Curtain.
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Okay, well, ladies and gentlemen, I'm
here to do her first number for the
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time.
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Elka Summer!
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Then I bite him in a million bits and I
gobble them right down.
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When they're inside me where it's dark,
I walk around like no other. I suck my
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tummy like a goose with animal crackers
in my tooth.
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think this show is suitable for
children.
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I don't think this show is suitable for
anybody.
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Okay,
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so listen, you two are going to build a
set for Elkie's closing number, huh? Oh,
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sure. What kind of number is it?
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Well, it's a spectacular tribute to
ancient Egypt, so the set really has to
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impressive. Oh, you come to the right
people. You just tell me and Beaker what
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you want. Okay, well, I want a royal
barge and a sphinx, and don't forget the
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pyramids.
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Oh, sure, pyramids. But what shape do
you want them in?
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What shape?
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We're up the Nile without a paddle.
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But we got a paddle.
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Look.
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When we last left the spaceship Swine
Trek, it was about to make a soft
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on the planet Coosbane.
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Five, nine, eight, seven, six.
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Five. Five, I know.
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Four, three, two, one.
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Touchdown.
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That should do it.
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Nice work, Ink.
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Thank you, French Fork.
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What'd you think, First Mate Piggy?
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I think your landings are hard and your
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brain is soft.
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Well, no matter. Now comes the moment
the whole world has been waiting for.
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Oh, what's that?
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Well, to see the first pig walk on the
planet Coosbane.
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Oh, oh yeah.
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The TV camera is on and when you slip...
out there, Link. You'll become the most
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famous pig in history.
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00:10:38,430 --> 00:10:45,250
Um... Um... Why don't I just step out
and see if it is safe for my
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captain?
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That's very thoughtful of you, First
Mate Piggy.
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No, Link, no. Then she'll be the first
pig on the planet Coosbane and get all
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the glory.
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Ho, ho, ho, ho. You're right. Stop,
First Mate Piggy. Help!
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Nice tap.
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This is a job for a captain pig.
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Wish me luck. Here I go.
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Oh, no.
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It's stuck.
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Or maybe it opens in, Link. No, it
definitely opens out, I know.
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I'm going to have to get up. I'm going
to have to back up and get a running
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start and break down this door.
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Here I go.
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Back up. Watch out. Watch out. Here I
go.
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If it doesn't open in and if it doesn't
open out, then
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obviously... Here I come.
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It must slide open.
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00:11:45,680 --> 00:11:52,560
So ends part one. If you can stand it,
stay tuned for part
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two.
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Don't.
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00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:01,360
And now, part two of Pigs in Space.
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As you may recall, the spaceship was
landing on the planet Coosbane, and Link
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Hogthrob was taking his giant leap to
swine kind.
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00:14:12,700 --> 00:14:14,760
Greetings from Coosbane.
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This is Captain Link Hogthrob, the first
pig to ever set foot on this distant
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planet. Uh, forget it.
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Go away, I'm on television.
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No, you're not, dear.
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Huh? The camera broke.
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Oh, might as well go home, then. No, no,
no.
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00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:38,300
We can't. We must find out if there is
life on Coosbane.
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What? You mean... You mean like, uh...
You mean like little green monsters?
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I don't know.
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But we must find out.
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Oh, well, uh... Yoo -hoo. Anybody here?
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Uh, no, let's go home.
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Uh -oh, is my captain afraid?
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Oh, me afraid?
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Why, uh, of course not.
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Yoga! Ah!
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What was that?
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It was me, Link.
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Oh, I knew that.
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You all right now, First Mate Piggy? Oh,
brother.
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Well, there's no life on Coosbane. My
life detection computer pack indicates
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it's impa... for any life to exist on
this planet. Good. Let's go.
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00:15:27,870 --> 00:15:31,310
Oh, what a shame. It's such a pretty
planet.
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00:15:37,350 --> 00:15:41,170
George, wake up. I think I hear
prowlers.
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Oh, Martha, go back to sleep.
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The hills are alive with the sound of
music.
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Yeah, they're for you.
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00:16:01,300 --> 00:16:08,020
How many languages do you
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speak? Oh, about six.
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That's amazing.
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00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:15,440
No, not really. You have people in your
show who speak several languages.
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00:16:15,980 --> 00:16:16,719
We do?
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00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:18,500
Sure. How about the Swedish chef?
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Yeah, how about him?
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00:16:21,619 --> 00:16:23,680
Well, doesn't he speak English and
Swedish?
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00:16:24,140 --> 00:16:25,140
Well, I don't think so.
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You mean that he's not bilingual?
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I think the Swedish chef is non
-lingual.
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00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:33,220
However, you know something?
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00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:37,040
There is another person in your show who
speaks another language. That's
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Mademoiselle Piggy, who speaks French
not half bad.
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00:16:40,620 --> 00:16:42,600
Oh, well, look, let me tell you a
secret.
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00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:48,120
The only French she knows is what she's
read off a perfume label.
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00:16:48,580 --> 00:16:49,580
You're kidding.
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I didn't know that.
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00:16:51,460 --> 00:16:53,600
Yeah, it's true. I don't believe it. Oh,
yeah.
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00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:57,760
You! Oh, hi, Miss Piggy. We were just
talking about you.
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Moi? Oh.
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00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:04,140
Yeah, hey, look. I'd like you to meet
Elkie Summer. Miss Piggy Elkie Summer.
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00:17:05,300 --> 00:17:06,300
Enchantée, Elkie.
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00:17:07,079 --> 00:17:10,280
Enchantée. Mademoiselle Piggy, vous
parlez français, hein? C 'est
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00:17:23,680 --> 00:17:26,260
Maybe this bottle of perfume will help.
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00:17:29,360 --> 00:17:33,780
Ganser's being funny, you know. He got
the silly notion that the only French
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00:17:33,780 --> 00:17:35,940
know comes from reading perfume bottle
labels.
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00:17:36,260 --> 00:17:37,400
Yeah. Silly.
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00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:39,080
Silly.
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00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:40,600
Silly Ganser.
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00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:41,680
Silly.
200
00:17:43,950 --> 00:17:45,270
Here is something you will understand.
201
00:17:45,770 --> 00:17:46,770
Lend me your ear.
202
00:17:52,770 --> 00:17:53,810
Nothing yet, no.
203
00:17:56,170 --> 00:17:58,370
You see?
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00:17:59,190 --> 00:18:01,190
I don't know what you're talking about.
205
00:18:02,330 --> 00:18:04,790
What do you mean? I was trying to speak
in your native tongue.
206
00:18:05,310 --> 00:18:06,310
Swineese.
207
00:18:08,150 --> 00:18:09,150
Swineese?
208
00:18:09,510 --> 00:18:11,790
Commonly known as chewing the fat.
209
00:18:25,940 --> 00:18:27,340
Hey, Miss Beaker.
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00:18:29,140 --> 00:18:31,440
Okay, Beaker, you hold the nail.
211
00:18:33,860 --> 00:18:34,860
Okay,
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00:18:36,820 --> 00:18:39,940
hold the nail right there, and I'll hit
it with the hammer.
213
00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:49,040
Come on, put it there again.
214
00:18:49,860 --> 00:18:50,860
Okay.
215
00:18:54,700 --> 00:18:58,040
Look, look, look. I'll take the nail.
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00:18:58,940 --> 00:19:00,100
Put it there.
217
00:19:00,700 --> 00:19:02,080
You watch closely.
218
00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:11,320
Can't you watch closely from further
away?
219
00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:17,260
You can't be a master carpenter if you
lose your nerve.
220
00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:22,360
Okay, here we go.
221
00:19:27,180 --> 00:19:30,600
You can't be a master carpenter if you
lose your hammer.
222
00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:38,280
And now, ladies and gentlemen... Come
in, gentlemen. Why don't they make these
223
00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:39,280
curtains with a door?
224
00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:40,879
Come in.
225
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:42,740
Kazaga's ready. We got a fish. Go ahead.
226
00:19:42,980 --> 00:19:44,820
You got a fish? Don't ask, just
introduce.
227
00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:47,200
Okay, ladies and gentlemen, Muppet
Sports!
228
00:19:51,780 --> 00:19:58,540
Hi out there in Sportsland. This is
Louis Kazaga welcoming you to the wild
229
00:19:58,540 --> 00:19:59,740
of Muppet Sports.
230
00:20:00,060 --> 00:20:06,460
Tonight, the finals of the All Nations
Goldfish Shooting Contest. On my left,
231
00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:07,520
the contender.
232
00:20:10,780 --> 00:20:12,060
me to wish you luck, sir.
233
00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:13,760
Luck? Ha!
234
00:20:14,260 --> 00:20:15,780
I don't need no luck.
235
00:20:16,140 --> 00:20:18,220
He ain't gonna have a chance.
236
00:20:23,300 --> 00:20:24,300
Missed!
237
00:20:30,360 --> 00:20:31,600
Okay, how's it going, Bo?
238
00:20:31,820 --> 00:20:35,120
Oh, well, it's close. We just got to saw
off the braces.
239
00:20:35,420 --> 00:20:36,420
Uh -huh. How are you gonna do that?
240
00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:38,820
Oh, well, I sent Beaker to get the power
saw.
241
00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:40,679
Was that wise?
242
00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:42,040
Oh, sure, he's okay.
243
00:20:42,300 --> 00:20:43,580
He's dumber than you are.
244
00:20:44,760 --> 00:20:45,780
He is not.
245
00:20:48,820 --> 00:20:51,720
Oh, just so long as he doesn't get
carried away.
246
00:20:54,900 --> 00:20:56,220
He's getting carried away.
247
00:20:59,660 --> 00:21:00,660
Listen,
248
00:21:01,280 --> 00:21:03,220
I'll go introduce the number. You get
the set finished.
249
00:21:03,540 --> 00:21:05,480
Yes, okay, I'll paint the set. I just
got...
250
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:16,920
Well, folks, it's time for one final
number from tonight's wonderful guest
251
00:21:18,340 --> 00:21:20,880
Hey, could you hammer more softly back
there?
252
00:21:21,300 --> 00:21:23,340
No, could you talk more loudly?
253
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:30,280
Well, anyway, here she is, one of
Filmdom's great talents and great
254
00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:32,660
might add. Could you speak more slowly
out there?
255
00:21:33,100 --> 00:21:34,800
No, could you hammer more quickly?
256
00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:41,520
Here she is, the Cleopatra of movie
stars, Miss Elka Summer.
257
00:21:52,490 --> 00:21:54,970
Young Johnny Jones, he had a cute little
boat.
258
00:21:55,450 --> 00:21:58,570
And all the girlies he would take for a
float.
259
00:21:59,070 --> 00:22:02,270
He had girlies on the shore.
260
00:22:02,710 --> 00:22:05,930
Sweet little peaches by the pool.
261
00:22:06,490 --> 00:22:09,470
But Johnny was a Weisenheimer, you know.
262
00:22:10,050 --> 00:22:12,470
His daddy girl was slow.
263
00:22:13,770 --> 00:22:20,110
And every Sunday afternoon, he'd jump in
his boat and they would swoon.
264
00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:22,660
And then he'd roll, roll, roll.
265
00:22:23,380 --> 00:22:26,360
Way up the river he would roll, roll,
roll.
266
00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:31,920
A hug he'd give her, then he'd kiss her
now and then. He would tell him when.
267
00:22:32,120 --> 00:22:36,680
He'd fool around and fool around and
then they'd kiss again. And then he'd
268
00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:37,760
roll, roll.
269
00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:42,040
A little further he would roll. Oh, how
he'd roll.
270
00:22:42,660 --> 00:22:47,620
And then he'd drop both his oars, take a
few more encores, and then he'd roll,
271
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:49,530
roll. Row!
272
00:22:50,690 --> 00:22:51,690
Row!
273
00:22:52,530 --> 00:22:54,310
Row! Row!
274
00:22:54,850 --> 00:22:56,690
Faster! Row!
275
00:22:57,350 --> 00:22:59,290
And then he'd... Row! Faster!
276
00:22:59,710 --> 00:23:02,570
Row! Way up the river he would... Row!
Faster!
277
00:23:02,950 --> 00:23:07,870
Row! A happy giver and... Row! Faster
now and then... Row! He'd tell you
278
00:23:07,870 --> 00:23:11,110
He'd roll around and pull around... Row!
And then he'd... Row!
279
00:23:11,790 --> 00:23:12,689
Row! Row!
280
00:23:12,690 --> 00:23:16,550
A little further he would... Row! Oh
wow, he'd row!
281
00:23:28,120 --> 00:23:31,220
And then he gave her a smile and said
thank you for the night.
282
00:23:50,570 --> 00:23:53,550
I think we just about finished whatever
it was we started a while back. But
283
00:23:53,550 --> 00:23:57,490
before we go, let us have a warm thank
you for our very special guest star,
284
00:23:57,510 --> 00:23:58,910
ladies and gentlemen, Al Kazama.
285
00:23:59,930 --> 00:24:06,810
Thank you very much, Kermit. I had a
286
00:24:06,810 --> 00:24:10,190
wonderful time, and I want to thank you
and all of your friends very much
287
00:24:10,190 --> 00:24:14,110
indeed. Oh, good. Well, it's been a
little wild and crazy tonight, but now
288
00:24:14,110 --> 00:24:15,430
things have calmed down...
289
00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:19,620
Is he a bouncing baby boy? I don't know
but we're high enough up to find out.
22435
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