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1
00:00:07,240 --> 00:00:08,480
Hi, I'm Brian Henson.
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00:00:08,780 --> 00:00:11,800
Just when people were beginning to think
the Muppets were really, really
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wholesome, my father went out and booked
one of the most controversial acts of
4
00:00:15,920 --> 00:00:17,980
the 1970s, Alice Cooper.
5
00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:20,720
Welcome to my nightmare.
6
00:00:22,820 --> 00:00:26,800
One of Alice's songs was so
controversial at the time, it was banned
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high schools across the country.
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00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:29,820
It was called School's Out.
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00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:40,140
And then to balance out all of that
craziness that Alice brought to the
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00:00:40,140 --> 00:00:43,680
father had probably one of the sweetest
pieces we've ever done on The Muppet
11
00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:47,180
Show, which is Robin the Frog singing
Somewhere Over the Rainbow.
12
00:00:47,980 --> 00:00:54,040
Somewhere over the rainbow.
13
00:00:54,860 --> 00:00:57,600
The episode has a little bit of
something in it for everyone.
14
00:00:57,900 --> 00:01:00,440
Here it is, The Muppet Show with Alice
Cooper.
15
00:01:05,390 --> 00:01:08,850
Alice Cooper, 15 seconds to curtain, Mr.
Cooper.
16
00:01:09,270 --> 00:01:10,770
Ready whenever you say, Scooter.
17
00:01:13,510 --> 00:01:16,370
Sir, I think there's something you
should know.
18
00:01:16,610 --> 00:01:19,290
Yes? These monsters aren't ours.
19
00:01:19,590 --> 00:01:20,590
I know.
20
00:01:20,610 --> 00:01:21,610
They're mine.
21
00:01:25,930 --> 00:01:30,150
It's the Muppet Show with our very
special guest star, Alice Cooper.
22
00:01:54,220 --> 00:01:55,480
It's time to put on makeup.
23
00:01:55,740 --> 00:01:57,440
It's time to dress up right.
24
00:01:57,840 --> 00:01:59,660
It's time to get things started.
25
00:02:00,020 --> 00:02:01,900
Why don't you get things started?
26
00:02:02,260 --> 00:02:04,540
Now you've got to admit, the opening is
catchy.
27
00:02:04,780 --> 00:02:05,860
So smallpox.
28
00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:09,880
It's time to get things started on the
most sensational, inspirational,
29
00:02:10,500 --> 00:02:14,540
celebrational, palpitational, this is
Black Week.
30
00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:33,540
Hey, tonight our special guest star is
one of the world's most talented but
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00:02:33,540 --> 00:02:35,620
frightening performers, Alice Cooper.
32
00:02:35,880 --> 00:02:40,960
So, beware of ghoulies and ghosties and
long -legged beasties and things that go
33
00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:41,960
bump in the night.
34
00:02:44,860 --> 00:02:46,620
That does it. I'm leaving.
35
00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:48,000
Here's Alice Cooper.
36
00:03:06,829 --> 00:03:13,070
I think you're gonna feel you belong.
37
00:03:16,370 --> 00:03:19,650
Welcome to my nightmare.
38
00:03:19,970 --> 00:03:26,790
Welcome to
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00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:27,990
my breakdown.
40
00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:32,400
I hope I didn't scare you.
41
00:03:33,700 --> 00:03:38,200
That's just the way we are when we come
down.
42
00:03:39,240 --> 00:03:40,240
Yeah.
43
00:03:42,240 --> 00:03:44,760
Sweat and laugh and scream here.
44
00:03:46,100 --> 00:03:49,040
Because life is just a dream here.
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00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:54,840
You know inside you feel right at home.
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00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:56,960
Yeah.
47
00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:01,280
Welcome to my breakdown.
48
00:04:02,300 --> 00:04:08,680
Welcome to my
49
00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:09,680
nightmare.
50
00:04:49,580 --> 00:04:55,920
welcome to my nightmare i think you're
gonna like it
51
00:04:55,920 --> 00:05:01,480
i think you're gonna feel you know
52
00:05:01,480 --> 00:05:08,060
come to my night
53
00:05:08,060 --> 00:05:10,440
welcome
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00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:16,500
to my nightmare
55
00:05:39,740 --> 00:05:42,180
Where do you suppose he got the name
Alice?
56
00:05:42,500 --> 00:05:45,720
Oh, it's a family name. He was named
after a maiden uncle.
57
00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:53,580
It wasn't spooky like this when Julie
Andrews did the show.
58
00:05:54,660 --> 00:05:58,080
Let's see, what's next? William Tell
Act. William Tell Act on stage, you
59
00:05:58,220 --> 00:05:59,660
Come on, move it, move it, move it.
60
00:06:00,660 --> 00:06:02,500
Don't shout. It makes me nervous.
61
00:06:04,360 --> 00:06:05,560
Okay, way to go, Alice.
62
00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:08,960
Oh, thank you, Kermit. Oh, it must be
great to be a rock star.
63
00:06:09,500 --> 00:06:11,760
Oh, would you like to be a rock star?
64
00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:19,100
Well, yeah, sure, sure. Love to be a
rock star. Well, then just sign this
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00:06:19,100 --> 00:06:20,100
contract.
66
00:06:20,979 --> 00:06:23,720
Uh, yes. I have a friend that runs a
service.
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00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:25,880
He could guarantee to make you a rock
star.
68
00:06:28,540 --> 00:06:32,100
Yeah, well, when I said I wanted to be a
rock star, I was just sort of half
69
00:06:32,100 --> 00:06:34,880
kidding. I mean, oh, I'd like to be an
astronaut, too.
70
00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:38,280
Well, then just cross out the word rock
star and write an asteroid.
71
00:06:39,820 --> 00:06:41,820
I don't think I want anything to do with
you.
72
00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:45,140
Well, looks like you're stuck with it,
doesn't it?
73
00:06:46,820 --> 00:06:48,140
Just read it over anyways.
74
00:06:51,080 --> 00:06:52,100
You must be kidding.
75
00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:55,580
Why, how can he guarantee that? And what
must it cost?
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00:06:56,160 --> 00:06:57,780
Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha.
77
00:06:58,100 --> 00:07:00,500
Not a penny, just your soul.
78
00:07:06,780 --> 00:07:08,580
I'm sure I didn't hear that.
79
00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:09,880
Or see it.
80
00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:13,760
What's that I heard?
81
00:07:14,180 --> 00:07:16,780
You just can't move when I'm shooting.
82
00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:22,900
the other.
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00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:28,220
Weird. Weird joke.
84
00:07:34,660 --> 00:07:40,160
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew here at Muppet Labs
where the future is being made today.
85
00:07:41,780 --> 00:07:47,140
Well, our latest development is the germ
enlarger. For years, scientists have
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00:07:47,140 --> 00:07:50,500
had to study teensy -weensy germs under
a powerful microscope.
87
00:07:51,130 --> 00:07:54,270
But now, the germ enlarger makes the
microscope obsolete.
88
00:07:58,890 --> 00:08:00,490
Comes out of your pay, Beaker.
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00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:07,890
Here in this dish is isolated a sample
of the deadly germ Streptococcus
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00:08:07,890 --> 00:08:13,130
yuckotherium. Now, watch what happens
when Beaker adds one drop of germ
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00:08:13,130 --> 00:08:14,130
enlarger.
92
00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:22,860
how easy it is now for Beaker to study
that germ.
93
00:08:24,220 --> 00:08:25,800
And vice versa.
94
00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:29,000
That's all for now from Muppet Labs.
95
00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:30,680
Once in a while,
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00:08:33,400 --> 00:08:37,600
that germ better not be contagious.
97
00:08:40,380 --> 00:08:44,900
Party of the first part guarantees to
give party of the second part fabulous
98
00:08:44,900 --> 00:08:46,720
riches and worldwide fame.
99
00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:49,800
Kermit, what is this contract?
100
00:08:50,440 --> 00:08:52,600
Oh, that just belongs to Alice.
101
00:08:52,820 --> 00:08:54,860
Oh, you know the Faust story?
102
00:08:55,460 --> 00:08:56,460
No.
103
00:08:57,500 --> 00:09:01,940
Well, you see, Faust sold his soul to
the devil and in return became very rich
104
00:09:01,940 --> 00:09:05,100
and very famous. And Alice says that
this is that kind of a contract.
105
00:09:06,020 --> 00:09:07,020
Really?
106
00:09:17,770 --> 00:09:18,810
I have other plans for that.
107
00:09:19,090 --> 00:09:20,090
A pin!
108
00:09:20,330 --> 00:09:21,450
I gotta have a pin!
109
00:09:21,730 --> 00:09:23,230
Somebody flies me, Scooter!
110
00:09:25,890 --> 00:09:30,230
Oh, I've never known a toothache this
bad before.
111
00:09:30,790 --> 00:09:33,570
He's never known a toothache this bad
before.
112
00:09:35,290 --> 00:09:38,310
It's like having toothache all over my
body.
113
00:09:38,590 --> 00:09:41,230
It's like having toothache all over his
body.
114
00:09:42,710 --> 00:09:46,670
And another thing. And another thing. I
keep hearing voices.
115
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:51,090
And what's worse,
116
00:09:51,950 --> 00:09:53,590
the echo is often incorrect.
117
00:09:54,110 --> 00:10:01,030
And sometimes... And sometimes it says
what I'm
118
00:10:01,030 --> 00:10:04,390
going to say before I said it. It says
what I'm going to say.
119
00:10:05,550 --> 00:10:10,090
Yeah, well... Yeah, well, none of this
is helping my toothache.
120
00:10:11,070 --> 00:10:13,470
You took the words right out of my
mouth.
121
00:10:15,230 --> 00:10:18,030
And you couldn't take the teeth as well.
122
00:10:19,980 --> 00:10:21,100
Don't look at us.
123
00:10:21,940 --> 00:10:22,940
Whoa.
124
00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:27,560
I've never known a toothache this bad
before.
125
00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:31,260
He's never known a toothache this bad
before.
126
00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:35,820
It's like having toothache all over my
body.
127
00:10:36,260 --> 00:10:39,160
It's like having toothache all over my
body.
128
00:10:39,740 --> 00:10:40,740
Mr.
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00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:43,980
Cooper. Yes.
130
00:10:45,100 --> 00:10:49,100
Let me come right to the point.
131
00:10:49,450 --> 00:10:55,450
You, sir, are a demented, sick,
degenerate, barbaric,
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00:10:55,450 --> 00:10:59,270
naughty... Freako.
133
00:11:00,890 --> 00:11:02,130
Why, thank you.
134
00:11:05,550 --> 00:11:08,370
Freako's one, civilization zero.
135
00:11:16,680 --> 00:11:20,000
Gladys, this show is so weird tonight.
I'm going to stay right down here in the
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00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:21,840
canteen with these clean -cut kids.
137
00:11:24,380 --> 00:11:28,260
Why can't we have one thing nice on this
show tonight?
138
00:13:59,670 --> 00:14:01,470
Oh boy, this is a spooky show.
139
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:34,600
This is my once a year day.
140
00:14:34,820 --> 00:14:41,720
Once a year day. Felt the morning sun
and knew that this was my once a year
141
00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:43,540
Once a year day.
142
00:14:43,740 --> 00:14:47,400
Even got a kiss from you. I feel like
hopping up and down.
143
00:14:49,610 --> 00:14:55,450
Fences climbing trees, what pleases me
is what I do, cause this is my once a
144
00:14:55,450 --> 00:14:57,990
year day, once a year day.
145
00:14:58,510 --> 00:15:03,790
Everyone's entitled to be wild, be a
child, be a goof, break a roof, once a
146
00:15:03,790 --> 00:15:04,790
day.
147
00:15:29,210 --> 00:15:36,030
This was my once -a -year day, once -a
-year day, felt the morning sun and knew
148
00:15:36,030 --> 00:15:41,410
that this was my once -a -year day, once
-a -year day.
149
00:15:41,750 --> 00:15:46,490
Everyone's entitled to be wild, be a
child, be a moon, break a roof.
150
00:16:00,940 --> 00:16:05,260
And with the power vested in me, I have
touched you and made you beautiful.
151
00:16:05,860 --> 00:16:07,740
Let no man call you ugly.
152
00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:11,600
With me at your side, we will lead a
life of eternal happiness.
153
00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:20,340
When I get home from work, I want to
wrap myself around you.
154
00:16:22,280 --> 00:16:27,300
I want to take you, squeeze you till the
passion starts to rise.
155
00:16:31,210 --> 00:16:33,010
I'd like to take you to heaven.
156
00:16:33,870 --> 00:16:36,570
That would make my day complete.
157
00:16:38,330 --> 00:16:41,150
But you and me ain't no movie stars.
158
00:16:42,270 --> 00:16:44,830
What we are is what we are.
159
00:16:45,810 --> 00:16:49,930
We share a bed, some loving, and TV.
160
00:16:53,790 --> 00:16:56,150
That's enough for a working man.
161
00:16:57,430 --> 00:16:59,870
What I am is what I am.
162
00:17:01,040 --> 00:17:05,000
I'll tell you, baby, you're just enough
for me.
163
00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:11,900
Sometimes when you're asleep and I'm
just staring at the ceiling,
164
00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:18,660
I want to reach out and touch you, but
you just go on
165
00:17:18,660 --> 00:17:19,660
dreaming.
166
00:17:22,660 --> 00:17:24,720
I'd like to take you to heaven.
167
00:17:25,599 --> 00:17:28,260
That would make my day complete.
168
00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:33,600
But you and me ain't no superstars.
169
00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:36,520
What we are is what we are.
170
00:17:37,540 --> 00:17:41,600
We share a bed, some popcorn and TV.
171
00:17:41,900 --> 00:17:47,860
And that's enough for a working man.
172
00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:51,600
What I am is what I am.
173
00:17:52,700 --> 00:17:56,740
I'll tell you, baby, you're just enough
for me.
174
00:17:59,530 --> 00:18:03,530
I'll tell you, baby, you're just enough
for me.
175
00:18:14,390 --> 00:18:17,010
Excuse me. Hey, who turned off the
lights?
176
00:18:18,710 --> 00:18:21,510
Miss Piggy wanted on stage for Pigs in
Space.
177
00:18:22,810 --> 00:18:24,170
I'll be right there.
178
00:18:27,090 --> 00:18:28,910
Pardon moi, Alessimo.
179
00:18:36,780 --> 00:18:39,320
Listen, Cooper, the deal is off.
180
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:41,660
Make with the magic.
181
00:18:42,780 --> 00:18:43,960
Oh, all right.
182
00:18:44,180 --> 00:18:45,180
All right.
183
00:18:46,860 --> 00:18:49,220
All right. All right.
184
00:18:49,820 --> 00:18:54,200
That's better. And you can tell your man
I wouldn't sell you my soul if you paid
185
00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:55,200
me.
186
00:18:55,860 --> 00:18:56,860
Creep.
187
00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:04,060
Yeah. Well, boss?
188
00:19:04,880 --> 00:19:06,740
No, no, I didn't make a sale.
189
00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:10,060
Listen, do I get any commission on
hourly rentals?
190
00:19:15,120 --> 00:19:16,120
Touchy.
191
00:19:16,780 --> 00:19:20,840
And now, Pigs in Space!
192
00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:28,020
When we last saw the spaceship Swine
Trek, Captain Link Hogthrob was
193
00:19:28,020 --> 00:19:30,240
from a mysterious space disease.
194
00:19:31,700 --> 00:19:32,960
First make the...
195
00:19:33,680 --> 00:19:36,380
Help me move Link back to the
electrocosmotron.
196
00:19:36,620 --> 00:19:37,620
Yes, yes.
197
00:19:41,660 --> 00:19:43,040
It's like King Kong.
198
00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:45,960
Easy. Good, good.
199
00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:51,760
Oh, doctor, does he stand a chance?
200
00:19:52,140 --> 00:19:56,340
Well, I hesitate to try this shock
treatment. It's very dangerous and it
201
00:19:56,340 --> 00:19:57,339
kill him.
202
00:19:57,340 --> 00:19:58,980
Oh, is there no alternative?
203
00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:02,580
Well, you could give him mouth -to
-mouth resuscitation.
204
00:20:04,380 --> 00:20:06,420
You connect the wires. I'll throw the
switch.
205
00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:12,960
Ready? So, just now. All connected.
206
00:20:13,740 --> 00:20:15,600
Three, two, one.
207
00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:19,600
Look,
208
00:20:23,840 --> 00:20:25,980
Dr. Strangeport. He's coming around.
209
00:20:26,340 --> 00:20:27,380
Yes, it worked.
210
00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:29,820
Turn it off now, First Mate Piggy.
211
00:20:30,020 --> 00:20:31,420
Yes. Dr.
212
00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:38,150
Strangeport, what happened? Oh, just
temporary, Link. I said turn it off.
213
00:20:38,810 --> 00:20:40,590
I did!
214
00:20:42,450 --> 00:20:43,450
Uh -oh.
215
00:20:44,310 --> 00:20:45,310
Sorry, Link.
216
00:20:46,350 --> 00:20:50,090
But look at me. I'm just a show of my
former self.
217
00:20:50,570 --> 00:20:54,450
But, uh, you're much more interesting.
218
00:20:55,430 --> 00:20:57,410
No, I think he looks weird.
219
00:20:58,390 --> 00:21:03,050
Of course he looks weird. I'm just
trying to make him feel better. Dumb old
220
00:21:04,230 --> 00:21:06,430
Do you really think I look more
interesting?
221
00:21:07,390 --> 00:21:08,390
Yes, dear.
222
00:21:09,290 --> 00:21:12,550
Well, in that case, how about a little
kissy kissy?
223
00:21:12,950 --> 00:21:13,950
What? Hmm?
224
00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:05,459
out of sight.
225
00:22:05,460 --> 00:22:06,460
I had my eyes.
226
00:24:56,010 --> 00:25:00,150
But before we all go home and hide under
the bed, let us bring out our very
227
00:25:00,150 --> 00:25:01,490
special guest, our Alice Cooper.
228
00:25:09,550 --> 00:25:11,190
It's been a real pleasure.
229
00:25:14,430 --> 00:25:16,950
This is the voice of doom!
230
00:25:18,250 --> 00:25:20,270
Sounds more like the voice of Gonzo.
231
00:25:26,830 --> 00:25:29,810
Kermit, it's worse than that. This is
the bill from special effects.
232
00:26:14,220 --> 00:26:15,840
So that was Alice Cooper.
233
00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:18,840
You should see his sister, James
Fenimore.
17880
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