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Roy! Oh, Roy Clark!
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Fifteen seconds to curtain, Mr. Clark.
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Thank you, buddy.
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And by the way, I've got a question.
I've got the cowboy suit that I'm
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to be wearing, but where's the pair of
chaps?
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00:00:14,050 --> 00:00:15,210
Hello, hello, hello.
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Where are the pair of chaps, you ask?
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Hello, hello, hello.
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It's a far cry from Oklahoma.
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It's the Muppet Show with our very
special guest star, Roy Clark.
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00:00:29,210 --> 00:00:30,210
Yay!
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00:00:52,080 --> 00:00:53,680
It's time to put on makeup.
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It's time to dress up right.
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It's time to get things started.
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Why don't you get things started?
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Hey, somebody kill that light.
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It's time to get things started on the
most sensational, inspirational,
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celebrational, malnutritional, dance in
black.
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going country tonight because our
special guest is one of the world's
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country music stars, Mr. Roy Clark.
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All right, to the country. Let's go,
everybody.
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To the country.
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When I said the show was going country
just because Mr. Roy Clark is our guest.
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Oh, yeah, one of my favorite performers.
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00:01:44,910 --> 00:01:47,050
Yeah, well, I didn't mean it would
actually be Al Fresco.
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00:01:47,290 --> 00:01:48,290
Oh, he's good, too.
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00:01:49,190 --> 00:01:52,450
I thought you should know the stagehands
aren't here.
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Yeah, I sent them all to the country.
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The show is staying here.
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They're all in the country waiting for
us.
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00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:04,940
We've got to do the show right here.
Don't shout at me. I'm just a bear.
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I'm just doing the best I can. We're
going to shift the scenery.
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00:02:10,860 --> 00:02:11,779
Fuzzy. What?
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You are going to shift the scenery.
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00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:16,620
I am going to shift the scenery.
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00:02:17,820 --> 00:02:18,820
Fuzzy.
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I am going to shift the scenery.
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Sorry about that, folks.
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00:02:25,660 --> 00:02:30,090
Now, ladies and gentlemen, the
multitudinously talented Mr. Roy Clark.
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What do I do here?
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00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:05,560
Rocky Top, you'll always be home to me.
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Good old Rocky Top.
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Rocky Top, Tennessee.
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Rocky Top, Tennessee.
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Rocky Top, Tennessee.
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Do what?
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Damn,
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that Roy Clark sure is a numerous
person.
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Boy, you can say that again.
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00:04:56,770 --> 00:04:59,250
How does he do that?
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Fuzzy! Oh, yes, sir? Listen, there's not
a stagehand in the theater, thanks to
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00:05:04,630 --> 00:05:06,090
you. Ha, thank you, you're welcome.
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00:05:07,820 --> 00:05:11,840
Listen, Fozzie, you got us into this
mess. You are responsible for it. If
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00:05:11,840 --> 00:05:14,040
anything goes wrong here, Fozzie... Yes,
sir?
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You are fired.
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Fired?
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00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:19,760
Oh, no.
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00:05:20,060 --> 00:05:21,640
My nerves are shocked.
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00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:27,600
Still, what could go wrong? I mean, the
stage is set. The star has arrived.
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00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:31,360
The audience is happy. The theater's on
fire. The theater's on fire.
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Thank you.
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00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:26,360
What to do?
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00:06:37,900 --> 00:06:38,900
Fire!
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Fire! Chef, fire!
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Fire! What's going on?
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Oh, oh, oh, hi.
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00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:51,700
Uh, nothing. I was just saying...
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00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:55,760
I'm glad nothing else is going wrong or
I'd get fired.
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00:06:57,180 --> 00:06:58,200
What's all this smoke?
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00:06:59,340 --> 00:07:01,280
Uh, that's not smoke.
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00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:02,880
It's not smoke?
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00:07:02,900 --> 00:07:03,900
No, no. Then what is it?
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Jet exhaust.
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Jet exhaust?
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Just what I was going to say. Yeah,
yeah.
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00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:13,820
Oh, look out. Here comes another one.
Duck.
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00:07:14,980 --> 00:07:17,540
You okay? What was that?
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00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:20,620
Oh, boy, that was a close one. Those
planes get lower every day.
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00:07:21,450 --> 00:07:22,710
Fuzzy, I didn't see any plane.
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00:07:22,970 --> 00:07:24,150
Yeah, that gets faster, too.
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00:07:24,650 --> 00:07:29,630
Boy, oh boy. Listen, you go tell Roy
Clark to keep his head down, okay? And
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phone the airport. Here comes another
one!
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00:07:31,850 --> 00:07:32,850
Get down!
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00:07:33,610 --> 00:07:34,610
Hello,
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00:07:35,850 --> 00:07:39,510
operator? How soon can you get me the
fire department, huh?
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00:07:42,170 --> 00:07:43,170
That soon, huh?
87
00:07:46,250 --> 00:07:47,390
And now...
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00:07:52,810 --> 00:07:57,150
When we last left the rocket ship's
swine track, it was drifting aimlessly
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00:07:57,150 --> 00:08:00,470
space due to a power failure in the
control panel.
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00:08:00,890 --> 00:08:06,110
Oh, first mate, Piggy, if Dr.
Strangeport can't restore power to the
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00:08:06,110 --> 00:08:08,770
panel, we'll be marooned in space
forever.
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00:08:09,270 --> 00:08:10,270
Oh, no!
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00:08:10,410 --> 00:08:14,070
Well, look at the bright side, my dear.
At least you'll spend the rest of your
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00:08:14,070 --> 00:08:15,170
days with me.
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00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:18,210
That's the bright side?
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00:08:19,750 --> 00:08:22,150
Well, I fixed the control panel.
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00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:23,600
That's wonderful, Doctor.
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00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:25,440
Yeah, it was 40 vials.
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00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:27,840
Nice work, Doctor Strangeport.
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00:08:28,060 --> 00:08:32,380
Oh, it was nothing, Link. Actually, I
just used some vials from the electric
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00:08:32,380 --> 00:08:35,799
toaster. Good thinking. Here, I'll try
it.
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00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:39,080
Uh -oh.
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00:08:39,559 --> 00:08:41,860
That's all right, Doctor. Actually, it's
kind of funny.
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00:08:42,100 --> 00:08:43,100
Yeah.
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00:08:43,559 --> 00:08:48,060
You see, that's what you call raising a
pig.
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00:08:48,380 --> 00:08:49,440
Yeah, raising a pig.
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00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:52,320
She has her ups and downs.
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00:08:52,820 --> 00:08:56,420
Oh, so you think that's funny, huh?
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00:08:56,620 --> 00:08:58,320
Well, it's your turn, Linko.
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00:08:59,820 --> 00:09:02,400
Thought you had me, didn't you?
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00:09:06,420 --> 00:09:09,760
Why don't you try this one right here?
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I am not that stupid.
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Oh, then I'll try it.
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I want my mommy.
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Still think it's funny, bacon brain?
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No, we've got to get Dr. Strangepork
back.
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Hey,
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I'm not supposed to be here, right?
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Right.
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Bacon!
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I'm not supposed to be here either,
right?
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00:10:26,410 --> 00:10:33,230
was young the taste of life was sweet as
rain upon my tongue
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00:10:33,230 --> 00:10:38,770
I teased at life as if it were a foolish
game
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the way the evening breeze may tease a
candle flame
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00:10:44,830 --> 00:10:51,490
the thousand dreams I dreamed and the
splendid things I planned
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00:10:51,490 --> 00:10:58,330
I always still select on week And
shifting sand I
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00:10:58,330 --> 00:11:05,090
live by night And I shun the naked light
of day And only now I
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see How the years ran away Yesterday
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When I was young So many happy songs
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Were waiting to be sung So many wild
pleasures
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Lay in store for me.
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00:11:26,020 --> 00:11:30,760
And so much pain. My dazzled eyes with
beauty.
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00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:34,440
I ran so fast at times.
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00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:37,280
And youth at last ran out.
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I never stopped to think.
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What life was all about.
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And every conversation.
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00:11:46,580 --> 00:11:48,740
I can now recall.
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00:11:49,580 --> 00:11:51,300
The signs it felt with me.
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And nothing else at all.
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00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:11,880
Yesterday, the moon was blue.
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00:12:12,660 --> 00:12:17,260
Every crazy day brought something new to
do.
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00:12:17,880 --> 00:12:20,440
I used my magic age.
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00:12:21,680 --> 00:12:28,520
If it were a wand and never saw the
weight and the emptiness beyond.
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00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:34,720
The game of love I play with arrogance
and pride.
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00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:40,220
And every flame I lift too quickly,
quickly dies.
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00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:46,140
The friends I made all seem somehow to
drift away.
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Only I am left.
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00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:56,220
On stage, in the play, there are so many
songs in
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00:12:56,220 --> 00:12:57,560
me that won't be sung.
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00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:03,780
I feel the bitter taste, tears upon my
tongue.
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The time has come for me to pay for
yesterday when
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I was young.
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00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:35,740
That was a beautiful song you did. And I
love the one where you did all the
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instruments, too. Well, thank you. But,
Kermit, it's not really that hard. You
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00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:40,260
know, I come from a musical family.
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00:13:40,460 --> 00:13:44,700
Oh, really? Sure. My dad plays and all
my uncles, and we used to get together
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00:13:44,700 --> 00:13:46,360
when I was a child and play music.
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00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:47,719
Oh, wow.
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00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:51,540
And how many of those instruments can
you actually play? Can I actually play,
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00:13:51,620 --> 00:13:52,419
Kermit? Yes.
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00:13:52,420 --> 00:13:56,280
Actually? Yes. Maybe one out of five
would be a good average. One out of
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No, but I attempt to play about seven or
eight.
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00:13:59,050 --> 00:14:02,350
Well, you did very well on that other
number. Thank you. I love the trumpet.
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00:14:03,070 --> 00:14:06,510
I thought maybe you'd bring that up.
Yes, that was outstanding.
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00:14:07,890 --> 00:14:10,910
Outstanding? You mean I should be
outstanding in the field somewhere with
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00:14:10,910 --> 00:14:13,470
trumpet? Well, I didn't say that, Roy.
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00:14:14,110 --> 00:14:17,710
But anyhow, I suppose you're really just
born into show business, actually, huh?
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00:14:18,010 --> 00:14:21,650
Well, kind of, you know, but my dad
still runs a farm back in Virginia where
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00:14:21,650 --> 00:14:25,070
keeps chickens, and a lot of times I get
to miss the place without traveling all
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00:14:25,070 --> 00:14:27,670
the time. Yeah, well, listen, Roy, we
could make you feel right at home,
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because, you know, we keep chickens.
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00:14:29,150 --> 00:14:30,150
Really? Sure.
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00:14:32,630 --> 00:14:35,770
Kermit, if you keep chickens, could you
keep these away?
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00:14:36,630 --> 00:14:40,370
Well, we also keep ducks, you know.
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00:14:40,810 --> 00:14:44,950
You have any soup to go with these
quackers?
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00:14:46,220 --> 00:14:47,940
You know what kind of joke we call that
in Virginia?
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00:14:48,540 --> 00:14:49,540
Bad?
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00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:51,180
You stepped right in the middle of that
one.
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00:14:51,540 --> 00:14:53,400
Yes, I did. Hey, how about some pigs,
Roy?
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00:14:53,700 --> 00:14:56,320
Pigs? Pigs? Huh? Or even cattle?
182
00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:59,800
Fantastic. How many head of cattle do
you have?
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One. One head of cow.
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00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:06,440
Chairman, I got to tell you, this is
really like being back on the farm.
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00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:11,080
isn't it great? Sure is. Free eggs,
fried chicken on Sunday, bacon for
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00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:12,720
breakfast, roast duck on Christmas.
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00:15:13,290 --> 00:15:16,410
All the ham sandwiches you can eat. I
mean, this place is like a walk -in
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00:15:16,410 --> 00:15:20,310
counter. Roy, it may look like a
luncheon, but it can soon turn into a
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00:15:21,990 --> 00:15:22,990
Oh,
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00:15:29,190 --> 00:15:35,870
I hate
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00:15:35,870 --> 00:15:36,870
barn dances.
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00:15:36,950 --> 00:15:39,650
Only reason I come is for the door
prize.
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00:15:40,450 --> 00:15:41,950
Well, what's the prize?
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00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:45,440
A free ticket to the next barn dance.
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00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:52,140
You know, my husband weighs five tons.
196
00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:55,080
Oh, that sounds like a lot of bull.
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00:15:55,940 --> 00:15:58,340
It is, darling. It is.
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00:16:01,280 --> 00:16:04,300
Oh, why don't y 'all run away with me?
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00:16:04,740 --> 00:16:07,800
I can't. I gotta think of the wife and
eggs.
200
00:16:12,430 --> 00:16:13,430
Thinking of your wife.
201
00:16:14,110 --> 00:16:16,050
I think he's trying to get my goat.
202
00:16:19,330 --> 00:16:22,670
Say, what's your brother -in -law doing
up there?
203
00:16:23,930 --> 00:16:27,050
Oh, he's trying to start the ceiling
fan. It stopped.
204
00:16:28,810 --> 00:16:31,270
Looks like he got it started.
205
00:16:34,770 --> 00:16:35,770
Hey,
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00:16:36,870 --> 00:16:39,350
hey, come on, come on. Keep those
buckets moving. Come on, guys.
207
00:16:39,870 --> 00:16:40,870
Oh, boy.
208
00:16:41,660 --> 00:16:43,680
Remember how the theater was on fire?
209
00:16:44,180 --> 00:16:45,440
Oh, it still is.
210
00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:48,340
Oh, come on, guys. Faster, faster.
211
00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:51,620
Oh, yes, yes, sir. What is going on
here?
212
00:16:51,900 --> 00:16:54,100
Yes, going on here. Where's all this
smoke coming from?
213
00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:55,340
Smoke, yes, smoke.
214
00:16:55,580 --> 00:16:56,580
Oh,
215
00:16:56,940 --> 00:16:57,940
didn't you get a cigar?
216
00:16:58,080 --> 00:17:01,380
Cigar? Yes, cigar for the frog.
217
00:17:02,180 --> 00:17:07,460
Tell me, have you any idea what it feels
like to be a father?
218
00:17:07,780 --> 00:17:08,780
No, no.
219
00:17:10,140 --> 00:17:11,140
I was hoping you could tell me.
220
00:17:13,060 --> 00:17:15,060
Harvey, I want an explanation.
221
00:17:15,480 --> 00:17:17,060
Oh, dear, yes, I was afraid of that.
222
00:17:17,900 --> 00:17:22,339
Explanation. Chef, chef, chef, come
here. Explain to the frog all the things
223
00:17:22,339 --> 00:17:23,339
here. Explain.
224
00:17:24,180 --> 00:17:25,180
No,
225
00:17:32,420 --> 00:17:33,460
I want water.
226
00:17:36,040 --> 00:17:38,960
Give me the bucket.
227
00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:41,040
No, I want a full bucket, you fool.
228
00:17:41,580 --> 00:17:44,540
Will you get away from me? Will you stop
crying?
229
00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:47,180
Okay, whatever.
230
00:17:47,580 --> 00:17:51,320
Anyhow, ladies and gentlemen, in his
premiere presentation of immortal
231
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:57,840
perfection, otherwise known as rank
stupidity, the great Gonzo will yodel
232
00:17:57,840 --> 00:18:01,020
-Korsakov while riding on a motorized
pogo stick. Ladies and gentlemen, the
233
00:18:01,020 --> 00:18:02,020
great Gonzo!
234
00:18:26,360 --> 00:18:27,360
Hey,
235
00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:33,440
we can't have a hole in the stage.
236
00:18:42,410 --> 00:18:43,249
that part of the stage.
237
00:18:43,250 --> 00:18:44,870
Yes, the scooter lights up.
238
00:18:45,190 --> 00:18:46,169
Oh, boy.
239
00:18:46,170 --> 00:18:50,170
I can't see a thing. Where are you? I'm
over here by the hole.
240
00:18:50,430 --> 00:18:53,190
I'll follow the sound of your... Oh, no.
241
00:18:54,530 --> 00:18:55,990
Oh, come on. Are you hurt?
242
00:18:56,230 --> 00:18:58,310
It's not too bad. I landed on gunpowder.
243
00:18:59,890 --> 00:19:00,930
I'll do the intro.
244
00:19:01,270 --> 00:19:02,270
Scooter lights.
245
00:19:02,670 --> 00:19:03,670
Oh, boy.
246
00:19:04,230 --> 00:19:06,170
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Roy Clark.
247
00:19:07,150 --> 00:19:09,110
Curtains. Oh, that's me.
248
00:19:33,389 --> 00:19:40,030
Sally was a good old
249
00:19:40,030 --> 00:19:42,950
girl. Sally was a good old girl.
250
00:19:43,290 --> 00:19:45,490
Sally was a good old girl.
251
00:19:48,750 --> 00:19:50,510
Sally was a good old girl.
252
00:19:55,890 --> 00:20:00,510
Sally was a good old girl.
253
00:20:16,100 --> 00:20:20,880
No matter what the request, she gave it
her best. Sally was a good old girl.
254
00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:24,960
She
255
00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:32,540
was
256
00:20:32,540 --> 00:20:34,220
the favorite with all the men.
257
00:20:34,500 --> 00:20:36,240
Sally was a good old girl.
258
00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:41,260
And all the ladies despised her then,
but Sally was a good old girl.
259
00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:45,350
All the ladies talked about her, but...
Sally didn't care. She just kept on
260
00:20:45,350 --> 00:20:49,210
working and doing her share. She wound
up married to a millionaire.
261
00:20:49,710 --> 00:20:51,510
Sally was a good old girl.
262
00:21:31,580 --> 00:21:33,080
Big grubble, please, please.
263
00:21:33,340 --> 00:21:34,440
Okay, okay, okay.
264
00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:35,680
Thank you.
265
00:21:35,740 --> 00:21:40,020
Listen, I'm really sorry about, you
know, the stagehands and the hole in the
266
00:21:40,020 --> 00:21:40,899
floor there.
267
00:21:40,900 --> 00:21:43,780
The hole, yeah. And the fire and the
rest of it. Fire?
268
00:21:44,700 --> 00:21:45,760
We had a fire here?
269
00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:48,560
No.
270
00:21:48,900 --> 00:21:51,280
Huh? I mean, well, at least, yes.
271
00:21:51,540 --> 00:21:52,960
Oh, it's a cute little small one.
272
00:21:54,260 --> 00:21:57,720
Bossy! Oh, please, Kermit, you wouldn't
hit a bear in front of a Death Star,
273
00:21:57,780 --> 00:21:59,420
would you? Oh, what does that have to do
with anything?
274
00:22:00,300 --> 00:22:01,820
Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Roy Clark.
275
00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:03,400
Roy Clark.
276
00:22:03,900 --> 00:22:04,859
Roy Clark.
277
00:22:04,860 --> 00:22:06,220
Yes. Yes.
278
00:22:15,180 --> 00:22:16,180
Roy,
279
00:22:18,980 --> 00:22:22,220
you are one hot fiddle player. What is
your secret?
280
00:22:22,420 --> 00:22:23,660
Just a hot fiddle.
281
00:22:43,340 --> 00:22:47,900
with Seven on The Muppet Show, guest
star Gene Stapleton does a duet with
282
00:22:47,900 --> 00:22:50,760
Harry in a number that has an explosive
ending.
283
00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:56,180
Coming up next on Happy Days, life
changes for the Cunninghams when Fonzie
284
00:22:56,180 --> 00:22:57,580
into the apartment upstairs.
285
00:23:12,080 --> 00:23:14,460
I thought for once the show really
caught fire.
286
00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:17,700
I thought it burned itself out, same as
always.
21616
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