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1
00:00:01,749 --> 00:00:04,810
Helen Reddy, 30 seconds to curtain, Miss
Reddy.
2
00:00:05,290 --> 00:00:06,970
Okay, Scooter, I'll be there.
3
00:00:07,210 --> 00:00:08,210
Ready or not.
4
00:00:09,450 --> 00:00:12,090
Yeah. Did you mean to make that joke?
5
00:00:12,690 --> 00:00:15,150
Well, I meant to make that joke before
someone else did.
6
00:00:16,550 --> 00:00:18,270
You think we'd stoop that low?
7
00:00:18,830 --> 00:00:20,550
Hey, three to get ready.
8
00:00:22,310 --> 00:00:23,310
Low.
9
00:00:26,110 --> 00:00:30,490
It's the Muppet Show with our very
special guest star, Miss Helen Reddy.
10
00:01:02,410 --> 00:01:04,510
Hey, there's chickens in our seats.
11
00:01:29,420 --> 00:01:33,080
Muppet Show. Hey, we've got a terrific
show tonight because our special guest
12
00:01:33,080 --> 00:01:38,280
one of the world's greatest singers,
Helen Reddy. But right now, we whisk you
13
00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:43,140
back through time and space to the
Palace of Versailles where Marie
14
00:01:43,140 --> 00:01:46,500
bears a striking resemblance to our own
Miss Piggy.
15
00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:14,520
We'll be right back.
16
00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:33,680
We could stay alive, stay alive.
17
00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:38,240
Feel the city breaking and everybody
shaking. Stay alive, stay alive.
18
00:03:38,540 --> 00:03:42,880
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Stay alive, stay
alive.
19
00:03:43,140 --> 00:03:46,320
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Stay alive.
20
00:03:57,500 --> 00:03:59,760
Well, I'll feed it for them. What's
that?
21
00:04:00,220 --> 00:04:02,900
They don't show favoritism. They offend
everyone.
22
00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:08,260
Oh, come on. Let us eat cake.
23
00:04:08,460 --> 00:04:09,460
Let us eat cake.
24
00:04:09,780 --> 00:04:12,740
Not only historically wrong, but
hysterically wrong.
25
00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:14,600
Suck the blue.
26
00:04:14,900 --> 00:04:16,000
What does that mean?
27
00:04:16,420 --> 00:04:17,420
Sacred blue.
28
00:04:19,660 --> 00:04:23,460
What a mess this place is. Hey,
Beauregard, I've got a job for you. Oh,
29
00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:24,940
Just look at this mess.
30
00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:26,900
Okay, that sounds easy enough.
31
00:04:28,970 --> 00:04:31,490
The floor needs sweeping. There's a
broom around here someplace.
32
00:04:32,010 --> 00:04:33,170
Oh, yes, there it is.
33
00:04:33,770 --> 00:04:35,130
Well, step on it.
34
00:04:35,350 --> 00:04:36,350
Okay.
35
00:04:40,390 --> 00:04:41,770
Hey, that's a neat trick.
36
00:04:42,210 --> 00:04:44,310
Use some elbow grease.
37
00:04:44,930 --> 00:04:45,930
Elbow grease?
38
00:04:50,030 --> 00:04:51,610
What did I think of that?
39
00:04:54,330 --> 00:04:57,820
And now, it's really an... honor to have
with us one of the world's greatest
40
00:04:57,820 --> 00:05:02,540
recording stars, and here she is
swinging up a storm at an informal
41
00:05:02,540 --> 00:05:05,080
the Muppets' private studio. Ladies and
gentlemen, Helen Reddy!
42
00:05:06,340 --> 00:05:09,800
One, two, one, two, three.
43
00:05:16,660 --> 00:05:23,660
When you can't find a friend, and the
road doesn't
44
00:05:23,660 --> 00:05:25,080
seem to end,
45
00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:30,480
And you're lonesome the whole day
through.
46
00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:35,240
How can you be happy?
47
00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:38,940
How can you be smiling?
48
00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:45,860
How can you be anything but loud and
saggy and blue?
49
00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:51,140
Hey, Roger, how's it going?
50
00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:53,460
I think Animal's a little too loud on
the drums.
51
00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:55,220
Oh, okay. Hey, Animal!
52
00:06:24,390 --> 00:06:30,430
I watch the cookie bushes shine in the
sun.
53
00:06:32,130 --> 00:06:39,030
The smell of sweet vanilla lift glows in
every breath
54
00:06:39,030 --> 00:06:40,030
of air.
55
00:06:40,790 --> 00:06:43,790
Doesn't anybody want me?
56
00:06:44,490 --> 00:06:45,950
Doesn't anybody want me?
57
00:06:52,650 --> 00:06:55,210
And your fortune has all been told.
58
00:06:55,870 --> 00:06:59,010
And your nobody's eyes.
59
00:07:56,360 --> 00:07:58,760
like Helen Reddy, I'd never be on the
Muppet Show.
60
00:07:59,060 --> 00:08:03,160
Right. If you had a voice like Helen
Reddy, you'd be in a sideshow.
61
00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:12,260
Oh, hey, very good, Beauregard. That
really looks great.
62
00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:15,020
You've swept it spotless and polished
it, too.
63
00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:18,040
Well, I couldn't find any elbow grease.
64
00:08:18,620 --> 00:08:19,740
I expect not.
65
00:08:20,240 --> 00:08:22,140
So I used axle grease.
66
00:08:33,669 --> 00:08:34,890
What kind of an idiot are you?
67
00:08:35,470 --> 00:08:37,970
Oh, I didn't know there was a choice.
68
00:08:39,830 --> 00:08:40,830
Boyd, watch out!
69
00:08:41,110 --> 00:08:42,110
Hey!
70
00:08:44,169 --> 00:08:45,290
What a fag.
71
00:08:53,350 --> 00:08:55,670
Borgard, how do you manage to stay
upright?
72
00:08:55,930 --> 00:08:57,950
Well, I'm wearing these special shoes.
73
00:08:58,470 --> 00:09:01,490
You want to borrow them? I don't think I
can get any place without them.
74
00:09:01,750 --> 00:09:03,300
Good. Okay.
75
00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:06,420
Let me get my flippers into these
slippers.
76
00:09:07,240 --> 00:09:08,840
These are non -slippers.
77
00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:12,980
Yeah. Okay, what is the secret of these
miracle shoes?
78
00:09:13,380 --> 00:09:16,400
Oh, there's no secret. I just nailed
them to the floor.
79
00:09:44,620 --> 00:09:48,200
It's a mistake.
80
00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:50,360
Today is not my birthday.
81
00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:04,300
And so my great -uncle Beauregard said
to me, he said, Beauregard, you go into
82
00:10:04,300 --> 00:10:06,740
show business and you'll clean up.
83
00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:10,040
And you know something? He was right.
84
00:10:10,700 --> 00:10:13,140
Were you named Beauregard after him?
85
00:10:13,500 --> 00:10:15,340
About 40 years after.
86
00:10:17,030 --> 00:10:18,030
Oh, I'm working.
87
00:10:18,310 --> 00:10:20,710
I'm working. That's what I was afraid
of. Stop that polishing.
88
00:10:21,050 --> 00:10:24,250
But I've only done a little bit. Get
off. Off, off, off, off, off, off.
89
00:10:24,590 --> 00:10:28,410
And now, ladies and gentlemen, we are
going to have a brilliant dance number
90
00:10:28,410 --> 00:10:31,590
our own Fozzie Bear and friends. But
excuse me one second. Fozzie?
91
00:10:31,930 --> 00:10:34,590
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, watch, watch, watch.
Fozzie, be careful. There's a very
92
00:10:34,590 --> 00:10:37,490
slippery place on the stage out here.
Where is that? I don't know. It's right
93
00:10:37,490 --> 00:10:38,490
around here somewhere.
94
00:10:40,030 --> 00:10:41,030
Right here.
95
00:10:42,710 --> 00:10:43,710
Curtain.
96
00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,140
Look careful, there's a wet spot right
here in the stitch.
97
00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:07,160
Careful,
98
00:11:08,640 --> 00:11:09,640
it's right there.
99
00:11:11,980 --> 00:11:12,819
Terrific, guys.
100
00:11:12,820 --> 00:11:13,820
You look great.
101
00:11:17,560 --> 00:11:20,300
Guys, look careful, there's a place
right here.
102
00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:23,560
Watch out, there's a wet place. Watch
out, right there.
103
00:11:44,990 --> 00:11:47,290
Here is a bucket full of wine.
104
00:11:48,590 --> 00:11:50,610
Date wine, Silver Spring, Maryland.
105
00:11:50,910 --> 00:11:55,550
At this very moment, Mr. and Mrs. George
Laser of Silver Spring are attempting
106
00:11:55,550 --> 00:11:59,230
to break the world's record for overhand
refrigerator throwing.
107
00:12:02,890 --> 00:12:05,290
Helen, you did a song about, um...
108
00:12:05,560 --> 00:12:09,160
Oh, I don't know. A few years ago. It's
one of my very favorite songs of all
109
00:12:09,160 --> 00:12:11,100
time. Really? Which one was it?
110
00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:14,220
Well, it was called You and Me Against
the World.
111
00:12:14,660 --> 00:12:16,940
Oh, sure. That was a song I did with my
daughter.
112
00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:22,300
Oh, yeah? Yeah. You did it with your
daughter? Mm -hmm. Well, do you suppose
113
00:12:22,300 --> 00:12:24,100
that you could do it with a frog?
114
00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:26,480
You mean just you and me?
115
00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:27,880
Yeah.
116
00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:29,280
I think so.
117
00:12:37,870 --> 00:12:44,810
You and me against the world Sometimes
it feels like
118
00:12:44,810 --> 00:12:51,630
you and me against the world When all
the others turn
119
00:12:51,630 --> 00:12:58,630
their backs and walk away You can count
on me to
120
00:12:58,630 --> 00:13:05,270
stay Remember when the circus
121
00:13:05,270 --> 00:13:06,850
came to town
122
00:13:12,560 --> 00:13:19,320
by the clown wasn't it nice to be around
123
00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:26,160
someone that you knew someone who was
big and
124
00:13:26,160 --> 00:13:31,420
strong and looking out for you and
125
00:13:31,420 --> 00:13:38,280
me against the world sometimes it feels
like
126
00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:41,300
you and me against the world
127
00:13:45,420 --> 00:13:52,260
And for all the times we've cried, I
always felt that God was on
128
00:13:52,260 --> 00:13:53,360
our side.
129
00:13:56,900 --> 00:14:03,840
And when one of us is gone, and one of
130
00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:10,760
us is left to carry on, then
131
00:14:10,760 --> 00:14:13,860
remembering we'll have to do
132
00:14:16,100 --> 00:14:19,480
memories alone will get us through.
133
00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:48,919
Hey, Bo?
134
00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:49,859
Yes, sir?
135
00:14:49,860 --> 00:14:51,960
I see the floors are no longer slippery.
136
00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:56,440
Oh, well, that's probably because Kermit
told me to spread a little sand around.
137
00:14:56,940 --> 00:14:57,940
A little sand.
138
00:14:58,700 --> 00:15:01,100
Somebody ought to teach you the meaning
of a little, though.
139
00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:03,720
I don't believe this.
140
00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:07,540
You believe that?
141
00:15:09,860 --> 00:15:14,960
And now, Veterinarian Hospital.
142
00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:20,920
The continuing story of a quack who's
gone to the dog.
143
00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:22,640
Hubba hubba.
144
00:15:26,140 --> 00:15:27,800
So, where's the next patient?
145
00:15:28,140 --> 00:15:29,280
Oh, right here, Dr. Bob.
146
00:15:29,900 --> 00:15:31,460
Oh, oh, look at that.
147
00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:33,960
Hey, he looks cold. We better turn up
the heat.
148
00:15:34,580 --> 00:15:39,540
Dr. Bob, those are not earmuffs he's
wearing. He was in the recording studio.
149
00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:43,780
Don't you know about headsets? Of
course. The head sets on the neck. The
150
00:15:43,780 --> 00:15:44,780
sets on the shoulders.
151
00:15:46,150 --> 00:15:48,650
I learned that the first year in doctor
class.
152
00:15:49,170 --> 00:15:51,750
Dr. Bob, have you forgotten about the
patient?
153
00:15:52,010 --> 00:15:55,310
No, the patient is the one who's sick. I
learned that the second year.
154
00:15:56,550 --> 00:16:01,270
But, Dr. Bob, this patient, he's lost
his hearing.
155
00:16:01,530 --> 00:16:03,030
Well, maybe he dropped it someplace.
156
00:16:03,990 --> 00:16:05,210
I'll look under the table.
157
00:16:05,890 --> 00:16:08,610
What kind was it, a clip -on or one of
those pierced jars?
158
00:16:09,350 --> 00:16:12,440
Not his earring, his hearing. Dr.
159
00:16:12,700 --> 00:16:14,640
Bob. This man can't hear anything.
160
00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:17,660
He's lucky I've heard every dumb word.
161
00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:19,580
Well, let's get these off.
162
00:16:22,980 --> 00:16:24,920
There we go.
163
00:16:25,120 --> 00:16:26,480
Can you hear me?
164
00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:28,180
Of course I can hear you.
165
00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:29,920
You? Him?
166
00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:32,020
How can I hear him? He hadn't said a
word.
167
00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:37,180
If Florence Nightingale had to put up
with this, she'd have been a waitress.
168
00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:40,880
Well, I can't do anything about his
hearing now.
169
00:16:41,140 --> 00:16:42,140
Call me. tomorrow.
170
00:16:42,500 --> 00:16:43,560
No, Dr. Bob.
171
00:16:43,820 --> 00:16:48,380
You're responsible for his ears. You're
right. Call me irresponsible.
172
00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:54,380
And so we come to the end of another
veterinarian's hospital.
173
00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:57,120
Tune in next week when you'll hear Dr.
174
00:16:57,380 --> 00:17:00,060
Bob say... Ah!
175
00:17:01,040 --> 00:17:02,740
No wonder he can't hear anything.
176
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:05,540
He has a tiny little drum in there.
It'll have to come out.
177
00:17:05,780 --> 00:17:08,560
No, no, no, no. That's his eardrum. That
stays.
178
00:17:09,450 --> 00:17:11,210
What about the tiny little piano and
bass?
179
00:17:21,430 --> 00:17:25,750
Call me kangaroo down, sport. Call me
kangaroo down.
180
00:17:26,069 --> 00:17:31,290
Call me kangaroo down, mate. Call me
kangaroo down. All together now.
181
00:17:31,490 --> 00:17:35,230
Call me kangaroo down, sport. Call me
kangaroo down.
182
00:17:35,830 --> 00:17:38,090
Call me kangaroo down, mate.
183
00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:48,720
Well,
184
00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:56,320
no more sand.
185
00:17:57,480 --> 00:17:59,020
And the slipperiness is gone.
186
00:17:59,720 --> 00:18:01,520
Hey, nice going, guys. Way to go.
187
00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:04,700
Well, that takes care of the sand.
188
00:18:05,020 --> 00:18:07,100
Yep, and I'm glad to be rid of it.
189
00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:10,560
Yeah, I swept all the sand out of here.
190
00:18:10,780 --> 00:18:11,780
Now, where did you put it?
191
00:18:11,980 --> 00:18:12,979
Next door.
192
00:18:12,980 --> 00:18:14,060
But that's the stage.
193
00:18:16,980 --> 00:18:18,500
What are we going to do?
194
00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:24,520
What can we do? Get some costumes,
scooter, get a couple of tents, a palm
195
00:18:25,420 --> 00:18:27,720
Bring back that camel.
196
00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:30,600
You're lucky I just happened to have a
palm tree here.
197
00:18:34,510 --> 00:18:37,990
Now, once again, ladies and gentlemen,
our very special guest star. Are you
198
00:18:37,990 --> 00:18:39,370
ready back there? No, we're not ready.
199
00:18:39,690 --> 00:18:44,050
Oh, well, I'll just tell you something
about Helen Reddy. I said we weren't
200
00:18:44,050 --> 00:18:46,010
ready. I wasn't talking to you.
201
00:18:46,790 --> 00:18:47,790
Okay, we're ready.
202
00:18:49,290 --> 00:18:51,950
Ladies and gentlemen, Helen Reddy. Oh, I
hope this works.
203
00:19:09,070 --> 00:19:11,250
We'll sing in the sunshine.
204
00:19:12,810 --> 00:19:15,630
We'll laugh every day.
205
00:19:16,950 --> 00:19:19,450
We'll sing in the sunshine.
206
00:19:20,610 --> 00:19:23,450
Then I'll be on my way.
207
00:19:30,430 --> 00:19:33,810
I will never love you.
208
00:19:34,290 --> 00:19:37,430
The cost of love too dear.
209
00:19:38,890 --> 00:19:45,550
But though I'll never love you I'll stay
with you for a year
210
00:19:45,550 --> 00:19:51,950
And we can sing in the sunshine We'll
laugh every day
211
00:19:51,950 --> 00:19:58,770
We'll sing in the sunshine Then I'll
be...
212
00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:14,060
Each morning, I kiss you every night.
213
00:20:15,120 --> 00:20:18,580
But darling, don't cling to me.
214
00:20:19,100 --> 00:20:24,540
I'll soon be out of sight. But we can
sing in the sunshine.
215
00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:28,680
We'll laugh every day.
216
00:20:30,260 --> 00:20:32,740
We'll sing in the sunshine.
217
00:21:59,530 --> 00:22:00,790
grown to like you, so we'll stop.
218
00:22:01,410 --> 00:22:05,750
But not before we say thank you to our
wonderful guest star, Helen Reddy! Yay!
219
00:22:10,430 --> 00:22:14,290
Thank you, Kevin. I can't tell you how
much I enjoyed working with the camel.
220
00:22:14,470 --> 00:22:17,810
Oh, you say you enjoyed it. I said I
can't tell you that.
221
00:22:21,830 --> 00:22:23,570
Hey, lady, you like him?
222
00:22:24,010 --> 00:22:25,010
He's yours.
223
00:22:28,270 --> 00:22:29,830
Good grief. What's his name?
224
00:22:30,230 --> 00:22:31,230
Sopwith.
225
00:22:31,530 --> 00:22:32,650
Sopwith the camel?
226
00:22:33,590 --> 00:22:35,910
We'll see you next time on The Muppet
Show.
227
00:22:40,110 --> 00:22:47,110
Tomorrow at 7 on The Muppet Show,
228
00:22:47,270 --> 00:22:51,730
things get a little bit country when
country and western star Roy Clark guest
229
00:22:51,730 --> 00:22:56,750
stars. Coming up next on Happy Days,
Richie is held hostage in Chicago.
230
00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:18,900
what's that? after this show nothing
hurts
17851
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