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1
00:00:02,450 --> 00:00:06,190
Fifteen seconds to curtain, Miss
Leachman. Okay, Scooter, I'll be ready.
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00:00:06,190 --> 00:00:07,330
thank you for this lunch.
3
00:00:07,890 --> 00:00:11,590
Just hope you remember that I don't eat
meat of any kind.
4
00:00:12,090 --> 00:00:18,510
And you'll be happy to know that I am a
vegetarian.
5
00:00:49,390 --> 00:00:51,230
Make the Muppets on the Muppet Hill
tonight.
6
00:00:52,430 --> 00:00:54,250
It's time to put on makeup.
7
00:00:54,510 --> 00:00:56,210
It's time to dress up right.
8
00:00:56,610 --> 00:00:58,470
It's time to get things started.
9
00:00:58,730 --> 00:01:00,010
Quit while you're ahead.
10
00:01:00,890 --> 00:01:04,410
It's time to get things started on the
most sensational, inspirational,
11
00:01:04,989 --> 00:01:10,290
celebrational, Muppetational This is
what we call a...
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00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:22,899
Muppet Show.
13
00:01:22,900 --> 00:01:26,140
Hey, you're going to love tonight's show
because our special guest is the star
14
00:01:26,140 --> 00:01:30,700
of television and films, Miss Cloris
Leachman. But first, first let's get...
15
00:01:30,700 --> 00:01:34,340
What are you guys doing?
16
00:01:34,660 --> 00:01:36,140
Pigs are taking over the show.
17
00:01:36,420 --> 00:01:40,100
Yes, and you'll never get away with it.
What a big year.
18
00:01:40,940 --> 00:01:42,560
We did it, we did it.
19
00:01:43,860 --> 00:01:45,920
Hi -ho, Kermit the Pig year.
20
00:01:48,420 --> 00:01:51,560
Hey, welcome to the Muppet Show, but
tonight let's open the festivities.
21
00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:59,500
over the show. Well, hoo -ha! Where's my
frog, huh? What happened to him?
22
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But, Miss Piggy, you're starring in the
opening number.
23
00:02:01,820 --> 00:02:04,300
I don't care if you touch one flipper of
my frog.
24
00:02:06,620 --> 00:02:10,620
I'm starring in the opening number? Of
course. You're the biggest pig star
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00:02:10,620 --> 00:02:11,620
got.
26
00:02:12,300 --> 00:02:14,700
We'll talk about what's -his -name
later.
27
00:02:15,620 --> 00:02:17,200
And now, let's get the show rolling.
28
00:02:28,300 --> 00:02:32,540
A dream of romance for the scene where
the villain is mean.
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That's entertainment.
30
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The light on the lady's side. Or the
bride with the guy on the side. Or the
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00:02:42,620 --> 00:02:45,300
ball where she gives them her all.
32
00:02:46,060 --> 00:02:47,600
That's entertainment.
33
00:02:48,260 --> 00:02:51,520
It might be a fight like you see on the
screen.
34
00:02:52,140 --> 00:02:54,760
It's rain getting slain for the love of
a queen.
35
00:02:55,630 --> 00:03:00,650
Some great Shakespearean scene where a
ghost and a prince meet. And everyone
36
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ends in mincemeat.
37
00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:36,539
Be that talented?
38
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No, be that bad.
39
00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:38,840
Whoa!
40
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Move, move, you little frog, move.
41
00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:44,640
Come on, come on.
42
00:03:44,900 --> 00:03:45,900
Now, listen, you guys.
43
00:03:46,340 --> 00:03:49,280
Oh, come on. Oh, I'm so glad to see you.
44
00:03:49,540 --> 00:03:50,920
Oh, it's been terrible.
45
00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:54,500
Come on, do you know that the pigs have
taken over the show?
46
00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:58,220
Where are we? Is this the boiler room?
Yes, the boiler room, yes.
47
00:03:58,500 --> 00:04:01,740
Well, listen, Fuzzy, don't worry. We
will get out of here. Of course we'll
48
00:04:01,740 --> 00:04:04,000
out of here, because I, the bear, have a
plan.
49
00:04:04,490 --> 00:04:08,290
I am going to tie some sheets together,
and we will slip out the window.
50
00:04:08,610 --> 00:04:09,610
What window?
51
00:04:12,390 --> 00:04:13,630
No window.
52
00:04:14,550 --> 00:04:16,670
Oh, come in.
53
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Come in. We got a bust out of here.
54
00:04:22,070 --> 00:04:25,910
Come in. There's no telling how long
they could keep us here. Look, look,
55
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What is that? I started a calendar.
56
00:04:30,690 --> 00:04:32,650
Believe me.
57
00:04:34,030 --> 00:04:35,470
Fuzzy, fuzzy, fuzzy, fuzzy.
58
00:04:35,730 --> 00:04:39,070
Do not panic. Listen, we'll use that
telephone there and call for help.
59
00:04:40,170 --> 00:04:42,230
The telephone, of course.
60
00:04:44,530 --> 00:04:45,530
It's working.
61
00:04:45,590 --> 00:04:46,590
Here it comes.
62
00:04:50,430 --> 00:04:52,710
This may take longer than I thought.
63
00:05:02,380 --> 00:05:05,840
What's the matter? Did I get your name
wrong? No, no, that's not it. You don't
64
00:05:05,840 --> 00:05:06,699
like the dress.
65
00:05:06,700 --> 00:05:09,660
No, it's okay for the number I'm doing.
You don't like the number.
66
00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:12,360
No, it's okay for the dress I'm wearing.
67
00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:16,360
But it's a great number. You and
Sweetums will be terrific. No, no, no.
68
00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:18,740
number with Sweetums comes at the end of
the show.
69
00:05:19,140 --> 00:05:20,820
Oh, that's my mistake. Excuse me.
70
00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:23,500
Sweetums, Sweetums, back to the dressing
room. Come on, back.
71
00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:29,220
Okay, cut, cut.
72
00:05:30,100 --> 00:05:31,100
That is not Sweetums.
73
00:05:31,450 --> 00:05:34,030
And you are not Kermit. Yes, I am. Oh,
no.
74
00:05:34,570 --> 00:05:37,510
I've seen the Muppet Show on television
many times, and you don't look anything
75
00:05:37,510 --> 00:05:38,830
like the Muppets that I've seen.
76
00:05:39,390 --> 00:05:43,910
But maybe it's your television set. No,
it's not the set. I mean, you're green,
77
00:05:44,030 --> 00:05:48,310
and you've got that darling, funny,
pointy collar that Kermit used to wear,
78
00:05:48,310 --> 00:05:52,050
you're not Kermit. Oh, yes, I am. All
right, then. I'll spell it out for you.
79
00:05:52,090 --> 00:05:53,190
You are a pig.
80
00:05:53,450 --> 00:05:54,890
P -I -G.
81
00:05:55,710 --> 00:05:56,710
You're not a frog.
82
00:05:56,750 --> 00:05:57,750
F.
83
00:05:57,820 --> 00:05:58,820
are older.
84
00:05:59,920 --> 00:06:03,720
No, no, no, you are not a frog, and
there is nothing you can say that will
85
00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:05,120
convince me that you are a frog.
86
00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:06,840
Nothing. Ribbit.
87
00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:11,620
Ribbit, ribbit.
88
00:06:12,260 --> 00:06:14,200
It is you.
89
00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:27,440
And now, once again, our special guest,
Miss Cloris Leachman.
90
00:10:24,140 --> 00:10:28,380
Oh, it's going great. They got this new
MC and the audience loves him. Kermit
91
00:10:28,380 --> 00:10:29,380
the Pig.
92
00:10:29,900 --> 00:10:30,900
Kermit the Pig?
93
00:10:31,560 --> 00:10:34,260
Easy, easy, Kermit. Don't take it so
personally.
94
00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:36,940
And the new comedian, Foddy the Pig.
95
00:10:37,180 --> 00:10:38,180
Foddy the Pig.
96
00:10:39,140 --> 00:10:41,460
We gotta get out of here.
97
00:10:42,580 --> 00:10:45,620
We will get out of here. Look what I
smuggled in.
98
00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:47,280
A spoon?
99
00:11:05,710 --> 00:11:07,090
Everybody's favorite funny pig.
100
00:11:07,790 --> 00:11:11,770
That great big lovable ham who's really
a bore and proud of it.
101
00:11:12,870 --> 00:11:14,750
Mr. Fozzie Pig!
102
00:11:15,350 --> 00:11:20,550
Hi -ya, hi -ya, hi -ya!
103
00:11:20,910 --> 00:11:22,410
I'm really hot tonight.
104
00:11:22,810 --> 00:11:26,710
I guess you could say the fat's in the
fire.
105
00:11:28,650 --> 00:11:35,150
Speaking of fat, my wife is so fat that
when she brings home the...
106
00:11:53,290 --> 00:11:54,290
Back to school.
107
00:11:54,470 --> 00:11:58,670
Yeah, you see? Get this. You see, I
still got a lot to learn.
108
00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:18,240
Bunsen Honey Pig, today announced he had
successfully converted a sow's ear into
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00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:19,340
a silk purse.
110
00:13:21,560 --> 00:13:26,600
Dr. Honey Pig is now the object of a
massive civil and criminal suit by the
111
00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:30,000
of a neighborhood artist, Mrs. Vincent
Van Gogh Pig.
112
00:13:36,540 --> 00:13:37,700
How's it going, guys?
113
00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:38,960
Oh, it's horrific.
114
00:13:39,140 --> 00:13:42,650
Gonzo's digging and... I'm going to
smuggle the dirt out in my hat.
115
00:14:14,250 --> 00:14:20,410
nice of you miss piggy my loyalty is
here with my frog uh
116
00:14:20,410 --> 00:14:25,210
pigs in space on next
117
00:14:25,210 --> 00:14:32,090
you have to cancel it i i remain with
118
00:14:32,090 --> 00:14:37,890
my sweetheart oh gee miss piggy okay
we'll just get someone to take your
119
00:14:37,890 --> 00:14:42,110
take my place i mean if you want to stay
here with them
120
00:15:19,780 --> 00:15:22,720
Dr. Julius Strangeport.
121
00:15:23,340 --> 00:15:28,840
As we left the swine trap last time, it
was under attack from an alien thief.
122
00:17:12,170 --> 00:17:13,430
about the show they haven't changed?
123
00:17:13,670 --> 00:17:14,409
What's that?
124
00:17:14,410 --> 00:17:15,609
It's still not funny.
125
00:17:19,150 --> 00:17:20,230
How's Gonzo doing?
126
00:17:20,550 --> 00:17:23,670
Pretty good, I guess. I can't even see
him anymore.
127
00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:12,160
We take you now to a desert island where
the coconuts and guest stars grow.
128
00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:21,920
Oh,
129
00:18:22,420 --> 00:18:29,220
dear. Oh, great.
130
00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:31,460
I thought I'd never make it.
131
00:19:08,560 --> 00:19:09,560
the dish.
132
00:19:10,940 --> 00:19:12,940
Well, you're quite a dish.
133
00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:14,620
That does it. I'm leaving.
134
00:19:15,740 --> 00:19:18,480
Oh, where'd a nice lady come from?
135
00:21:47,110 --> 00:21:48,110
This is the cook.
136
00:22:39,370 --> 00:22:44,010
those pigs where did those pigs come
from and where did they go i mean who
137
00:22:44,010 --> 00:22:49,190
organize a hog calling contest it was
amazing it was bizarre it was easy
138
00:22:49,190 --> 00:22:56,090
cloris you did that for us well i'm from
iowa you must be a great
139
00:22:56,090 --> 00:22:57,090
hog caller
140
00:23:11,150 --> 00:23:15,910
On the Muppet Show, Helen Reddy sings
and Miss Piggy performs her rendition of
141
00:23:15,910 --> 00:23:17,610
the Bee Gees hit, Staying Alive.
142
00:23:17,870 --> 00:23:23,410
Next on Happy Days, the pressure is on
Marion and Joni when Howard campaigns
143
00:23:23,410 --> 00:23:24,410
Man of the Year.
144
00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:43,819
That was weird.
145
00:23:43,820 --> 00:23:45,340
I'll tell the world. Go ahead.
146
00:23:45,580 --> 00:23:46,580
That was weird.
11508
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