All language subtitles for real_husbands_s01e08_hollyhood_scuffle

Previously on Real Husbands of
Hollywood.

We poppin' bottles, Kevin Hart!

What you poppin', Kevin Hart?

Y 'all not the only ones over here with
bottles. We got bottles, too.

Sweetie, give me a glass, baby.

Drink up. Wait a minute.

No, no, sweetie, it's in here. You got
more.

Bottles, y 'all. We need some more
bottles over here.

Righteousness, bring on the Medusas.
Bring it in, Medusas!

Hey!

Oh! Oh!

Get this picture. Watch out, baby.

Watch out. Baby, watch out, baby. Say
nothing to a boss, Trigger! We taking

Sarah Payne's cell!

Is he Chris Bosh in the club right now?

How many people drank with us? That's
what I want to know. You figure 100

divided by... Was it just us?

What's up, baby? Ain't nothing.

Oh, man. Over here winning bottle wars.

Where's your tab?

Mine's 100 grand. We didn't get no tab.

They copped everything.

The whole... For everybody.

Who was that?

Who was that? Crazy.

Let's go, ladies.

Nick, you ready?

Absolutely. Let's get out of here.

Who was that?

And ever since my book became the
bestseller, things have gotten crazy.

I mean, all these haters.

Goodness.

So I decided to set the record straight
in a no -holds -barred conversation on

my homeboy's radio program.

Big boy. Oh, my God, man.

It look like you got hit by a freight
train, man. Big boy, let me tell you

something. This is the price of fame.
The price of fame. You hear me?

This comes with fame. Well, I don't want
to be famous. I hear that.

We're going to walk into the studio.
Don't bleed on nothing, though, kid. I'm

fine, man. How's the family? Everything
is beautiful, man.

Why is this here?

Who put this rock garden over here?

Kev, you good? Yeah, I'm fine.

So you say them kids are doing all
right? They're doing amazing, Kev. Man,

can't beat that big.

Mine's getting big right now.

Oh, hello, Kev. Hey.

Hey, girl.

Good to see you.

Yeah. How you been?

I'm good. I'm so sorry I couldn't come
to your show last night. I was crazy

night. Yeah, yeah. I heard, according to
Twitter, you got fucked.

I'm sorry? What is that?

What does that mean? Is that some type
of UK humor?

How about according to Twitter?

It's Twitter.

It has two T's in it.

Okay, it's not the UK. So why don't you
go get on a trolley and go home?

We made up the language.

Yeah. We made up. Throw this damn cane
at your head, Estelle. You walk me into

an ambush? What is that? What is she
talking about?

Everybody hashtagging, oh, Kevin Hart
got his ass beat. No.

I'm not saying that. I'm saying that. I
got mobbed by some fans. They tried to

mob me.

And in the mob of me, I ran and got
away. And as a result of me running,

what happened. Mobbed by some fans. Yes.

Mob of fans.

Looked like someone threw him into a
fan.

Power 106, big boy's neighborhood.

We got a brother in here that's on fire.

He is actor slash comedian slash BET
award winner slash

now author, ladies and gentlemen. Y 'all
got to give it up for the one and only

Kevin Hart in the neighborhood. What up,
Kev? Yeah.

What's going on with you, brother?
What's up, boy?

Let's talk about the book, man. Now, the
book is the real story of the real

husbands of Hollywood.

Where's Oliver? Oliver.

Kevin,

do you live on the air?

Kevin Hart just fell off the chair. I'm
still here, people.

A little setback.

Oliver, grab some tea, man. Tea? Yeah,
some tea. A couple different flavors.

Now, Kev, we got to talk about just this
book right here, man.

First of all, you know that's a TV show
that I'm doing.

That's why the camera's all here with me
now. Hey, Kevin, I know. That's why I'm

wearing makeup, bro. I don't just wear
makeup to the station every day. Drag

queen. Drag queen.

Let's talk about the book, Kev. On the
real, man.

Now, there's a lot of people that's
pissed off about you writing this book,

Matter of fact, the LA Times, they
described it as knockout. And I'm like,

knockout like it's good. Like, knockout
like.

you should be knocked out for writing
this book. First of all, there is no

controversy, okay? Let's go ahead and
nip that in the bud. Let's do that.

of all, the quote should be, who the
f*** reads the L .A. Times?

Come on, man.

Don't nobody read that s***.

That's a paper for old people.

We're live on the air, bro. Well, let's
tell her how T .I. is.

What I talked about in the book was
specific, and I'm touching on things

specific.

It was important. Yes, it was. Good
looking, Allen.

What I wanted to say was, I'm at a point
now, man, where people need to know the

truth. Right. And I'm about telling the
truth. You know what? Well, we'll tell

the truth and we'll talk to the people.

What are you doing?

What are you doing? Get into your phone
tap right here. We're still live on air.

Hey, people, listen to this. Understand
this, okay?

When I wrote this book, I raised my
right hand and I swore to tell the

He's raising his hand now. And nothing
but the truth.

Period. That's it.

You asked me to bring you lucrative, out
-the -box opportunities. This is a top

-five publisher.

Why are we discussing this? Tell me why.
I don't know. I'm not ready to tell our

book. You're absolutely... You know
what? He's coming back.

Sorry.

Your little prostate ain't what it used
to be.

I didn't need to know that.

So, what do you think, Kevin? You ready
to be a best -selling author?

Here's the thing, Mr. Grossman. It's
Grossman. Is that your name? Grossman.

Well, I don't give a damn what it is,
sir.

You know why?

Because guys like you make me sick.

You make my balls itch. Always digging
up dirt on other people trying to

sabotage their homes. That's not me, all
right? There's no way in hell that I'm

going to violate the trust of me and my
homies. It's not going to happen. Do you

understand me?

I must say, I admire a man who values
principle over a high seven -figure

advance. But, you know, if you ever
decide to change your mind, Mr. Hart,

feel free to give me a call. That's my
card.

Seven -figure advance.

You've got to be kidding me. Thank you.

Thank you very much. We appreciate you
taking the time out of your very busy

schedule. Thank you so much. No problem.
Our doors are always open at Spencer

Collins. Excuse me. Oh, absolutely.

Buddy Grossman.

Hey, buddy.

This is your new buddy, Kevin Hart.

I want to talk to you about the seven
-figure deal, man. You know, after

thinking about it, I realized that my
friends aren't really my friends.

just some guys that I talk to on a daily
basis.

At the end of the day, they come and go.

Money stays.

So let's talk turkey.

Let's make this thing happen.

I'm going to put my lawyer on the phone
and she'll close the deal.

Close the deal.

I'm sorry, what? Do you want your
admission?

The truth and nothing

but the truth. Yes. Now, a lot of people
are saying, Kev, like this really isn't

your truth to tell.

I don't get that. But there's a chapter
in your book that's titled Boris Kojo,

shaped like an Oscar, but would never
win one.

People are saying - Have you seen
Resident Evil?

Wow. Have you seen it?

Get down, alien.

Wow. Worst line in the movie. People are
saying that you're no different than

the average hater, though. I just don't
get it. Right. And I mean, when you

think about it, why are we talking about
Boris? Why? Because he's in the book

cab. That's right. Right. Because I made
him relevant again.

Look, Vic, here's what you don't
understand.

These people practically begged me to
write this book. Wow. They begged me to

write this book.

You got it?

We got another piece? You look like a
Jamaican lawn jockey.

Will you shut up? I told you I was
sponsored by Puma.

That's what I'm confused by.

You said them people gave you a check
and you ain't wrote one damn word.

What are you confused about, Nick?

Tell me, what's so confusing? It's
called an advance.

Happens all the time in this business.

Why don't you go ask Mariah? She'll
explain to you. Whoa.

Shut up. Let me swing, man.

Whoa. He always goes there on you.

That's a bogey.

Ask who?

I said ask Mariah, Nick.

She knows what an advance is.

I thought you said, Nick, I got your
Mariah. Nick, I got your Mariah.

That's just great.

So predictable from you. That was
actually your driver, Nick.

Uh -oh.

Uh -oh.

Down my motherfucking bag, Oliver. You
funky.

Hey, that's my assistant.

I've never even seen you read a sign,
Kevin.

Are you writing damn books? They're
colored books.

That's real funny.

That's what color my book's going to be.

Green. I'm talking money green. That's
why they gave me a seven -figure

Because people want to hear my stories,
and I got a bunch of them to tell.

Yeah, stories about your ex -wife
blowing up your damn car.

I told you that's not true. That never
happened. Oliver was there. Did it

happen? No, boss. It never happened. It
happened.

Oh, it never happened, huh? Shut up and
let me waggle. That's something else,

man. Remember this right here?

Your ex -wife's greatest hits.

Stop it.

Stop it. Get your hands off me.

Yeah, Kevin butt -dodged me while
Bridget was burning his ride up. She

that shit up.

Oh, my God.

I called the fire brigade. You said I
called the fire brigade.

That was your shit.

That was your shit. That will never get
old.

Real funny, guys. Let's see who gets the
last laugh, though.

You want to hold on to a butt dial? Be
my guest.

I'll tell you what lasts longer.

Ink in my book.

Wayne, Boris, Robin, and JB.

They inspired me. They practically held
my hand while I wrote it. All right, y

'all stick around your radios. We're
going to get into the friction over the

nonfiction. We're going to talk about
the comma said knock you out.

Speak around your radios. We got your
Mickey Ficky Meeks. We're coming back

Kevin Hart in the neighborhood. Big boy
in the neighborhood.

Hey, Kev, be real with me, Kev.

So you're telling me that all your boys
are good with you writing this book?

Hell yeah. The day that this book hit
the shelves, dude, they all came by the

crib and congratulated me. You're going
to get them.

Oh, you're going to get them.

You're going to get them.

I'm sick of this dude, man.

Yo, boy.

Kevin! So damn irritated.

What's going on? Kevin!

This is a residential neighborhood.

Where's Kevin at?

J .B., ain't nobody standing on you. Or
should I call you J .B .W.? Just

bedwetting. Oh, yeah, baby. I read the
book.

It happens, right? One time in Vegas,
that's it, right?

Everybody wants to bed in Vegas. It
happens, right?

Nick Cannon, come on, baby.

Vegas. Everybody wants to bed in Vegas.

Bottom line is, I'm a grown man with an
eight -year -old bladder.

I can't hold anything down.

I see water, I gotta pee. I drink water,
I gotta pee. I sweat.

I got to pee.

Damn it, I got to pee.

When they say what happens in Vegas
stays in Vegas, they talking about the

The pee.

It's okay, JBW. Listen, beautiful.

We just need to know where he is. We
don't want to hurt him. We just want to

talk to him. Is he here? Is he in the
back? Is he upstairs?

I don't know where he at, but I don't
care if you hurt him. You can do what

want to him.

They're going a little funky right
there.

I'm gonna be the next Steve Harvey.
What?

I'm in the back.

I got room for two. All right. Come with
me. What?

I don't know. I'm sorry.

Hey, stay to yourself. Come on.

You know exactly why we're here.

Paula never said she loved you. She
doesn't even think you're funny.

Now open the door.

Who said I went to bed?

Everybody wants to bed in Vegas.

Yeah, what they said.

Why are you in the head, Nick?

You're not even in a book, drummer boy.

But I should be.

All the bad s*** that I did.

Only bad thing you've done is kiss
Thomas Vaughn in the park. That is it,

You're locked into Big Boy's
neighborhood.

All right, Kev. So, if everybody loved
what you wrote, there's absolutely no

beef.

Then, Kevin, man, what the hell happened
at that book signing that everybody's

talking about?

Big, this is what I've been trying to
tell you. Nothing.

Dude, it was a minor incident, okay? I
was signing books for my fans.

Uh, who to?

Thank you, sweetie. Enjoy.

Next.

Yo, boss, give me a second.

Hello, boss. Boss.

Senior ladies, how y 'all doing?

Everybody, hey!

How you doing?

Hey, sister, how you doing?

Hey! Ladies and gentlemen, we have been
blessed to have some of the other stars

of the book join us. And Nick Cannon,
he's not in the book, but he's here.

op! Come on, guys, get in there. Come
on.

Yeah, photo op! Photo op! You're gonna
kill your ass still.

Smile, Kevin.

Can you also sign my book?

Sure, yeah.

Great promotion, guys. Great promotion.

Nice to meet you.

You're not in the book.

I'm signing it anyway.

No, you did not.

Who am I making this out to?

Mariah's biggest fan.

I'm sorry, okay? We'll get you another

copy, okay? Hey, you saw it. here first
hollywood and hood at the same time hey

listen the book signing will now
continue ladies and gentlemen all right

going back up let's kick this off one
more time let's thank you guys for

out man let's see about that

who's this oh

what britain what are you doing bridget
okay everybody

to know the real truth, Kevin.

Don't read a system.

It's really good.

The truth is that she's crazy. Oh, I'm
crazy. You want to know the truth?

She's a daggone nutbag. Where the hell
did you get these fake books from? Won't

you ask Mr. Grossman? What? At Spencer
and Collins.

Mm -hmm, that's right. I got a book
deal, too.

And guess what? He said my advance was
higher than yours, bigger than yours.

of that. Yes, punk.

You a punk?

You know what?

Check it out. I got a bigger book deal
than you. My book is bigger?

Look at that. You know what? You
probably got 13 pages. I should have

posted your little Panamera like I
wanted to. That's what I should have

Oh, you better believe I win. Oh, you
better believe.

He wasn't there for the birth of his
baby? No, that is not true.

That is not true. I was there.

I passed out. He was with a stripper at
his bachelor party. What are you talking

about? First of all, I met. a stripper
at my bachelor party. I slept with her

the car outside of the bachelor party.
You don't even have facts right here.

don't even have facts. She looked fat in
her jeans.

First of all, I didn't know.

I said that. She looked fat. The pants
were too small. She had the muffins on.

You're locked into big boy's
neighborhood.

Kevin Hart, we're going to let you go
ahead and get on out the neighborhood,

man. But I want you to go one more time
on record. So you're saying that there

is absolutely no truth to Kevin Hart
getting his ass beat by a bunch of

dissidents? None.

There's one thing to get your ass
whooped.

There's nothing to get your ass whooped
by a bunch of angry ass women at the

same damn time. I'm not going to admit
that.

Taking that to the grave.

Everybody knows we beat the draws off
Kevin Hart. And if you don't believe me,

we got the draws to prove it.

Hey, listen, I really want to thank you
for letting me come here and tell my

story. I mean, kind of, you know. Well,
I kind of thank you for bringing your

story to the neighborhood, man.

Anytime. And you know what? I know you
didn't ask for my opinion, but you need

to call your homies, man. I apologize,
Cam.

You're right. Yeah. I definitely didn't
ask for your opinion, but thank you.

I appreciate it.

All right. All right. You take it easy.

My man. All right, man. All right, guys.
You too, man. Don't let your mouth

write a book your ass can't cash, yeah?
Hey, hey.

Right. Price to fame, big. Well, it's
too expensive for me. You stay up,

brother. Hey, never down.

Hey, you. Oliver.

Oliver. Come here.

Who am I fooling?

Big boy is right.

I need to go apologize.

Yep. Need to go apologize.

Excuse me.

Wow, look at me. I have the nerve to
show his ass up. Listen, all right?

I'm here because I understand that I
broke God's code.

I'm here to apologize.

What I did was wrong, and I'm trying to
do better.

And how do you plan on doing that,
Kevin?

How? I was going to donate a small
portion of the proceeds to your

Oh, okay. Well, let me act appreciative.

Oops, I forgot.

I can't act.

That was good. That was anger. You saw
up here, right, trying to buy us back?

No, I'm not trying to buy you back. How
about my damn pride? How much is my

pride worth? It was one time, Kevin.

JB. Put it in the damn book.

I'm sorry.

Look, guys, I was angry when I wrote the
book. I didn't mean half that stuff.

If I could take it back, I would, but I
can't. It's too late now.

What I've learned is this, that friends
are way more important than money, than

marriage, than some dumbass book.

I just want my friends back, guys.

That's all I want. Are we cool?

Yeah, we cool.

I know something that'll make us cooler.

Yeah, what's that?

With a... Get up there!

Robin! Robin! I thought you said we was
cool, man!

You know how much money this book is
going to make? They should have taken

check. Wait!

Don't do it!

Don't throw me in the water!

Fine with me.

I may have got a little wet, but I got a
lot richer.

Don't forget, I get half.

Wait, no. Thank you, Kevin. No, no,
Bridget, listen.

Bridget, that's for charity.

Bridget, if you can't just come up in
here.

A whole film festival going on outside
that we can't attend. With only three

episodes left. Has Sodom gone bust? If
there's anything you guys need, let me

know. What can our old, retired baseball
players do to help us? I'm one of the

sponsors of the festival.

Second Generation Way is an all -new
episode coming up next on VEP.