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Last time on One -on -One.
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00:00:04,340 --> 00:00:06,540
Brianna found what I want, a
relationship.
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Are you seriously thinking about doing
it with Calvin?
4
00:00:09,580 --> 00:00:10,580
Oh my God!
5
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You're back!
6
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Hi, Doctor.
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Hi.
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Oh,
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look who's sneaking in at 5 a .m.
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We're not sneaking in. You're sneaking
out.
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Michelle!
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Have you lost your mind?
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Now you go outside and cut me a switch.
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We saw you two on the boardwalk. We
would have killed you there, but there
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have been too many witnesses.
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So you saw us on the boardwalk.
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But not on the beach blanket, right?
Because nothing happened there.
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Or behind the tarot stand.
19
00:00:48,070 --> 00:00:49,930
Arnaz, you've been lying to me all
along.
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You told me there was nothing going on
between you and Michelle.
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And there wasn't.
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00:00:53,750 --> 00:00:57,160
I mean, yes, we were attracted to each
other, but we never acted on it. Oh, so
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00:00:57,160 --> 00:00:59,320
you just came back to polish his tonsils
with your tongue?
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I've been cheering all night trying to
get Andrew to have sex with me and
25
00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:09,620
nothing. Does he know how many
quarterbacks I've sacked with this
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Did I come at a bad time?
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I'll just cheer myself out.
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Ready?
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Okay.
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N -O -S -E -S.
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No.
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This is one strange -ass household,
people.
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Can you please tell Cash that that
poster doesn't matter? He wasn't getting
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girls before, and he's not about to get
any now.
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00:02:19,990 --> 00:02:22,790
Yeah, Cash, he's right. You can't blame
that poster for your bad haircut.
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It's not about getting girls or my
haircut, which I believe is quite
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I should have never sold out. Now I'm
just a joke.
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Cash, you're overreacting. You were a
joke before the poster.
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And besides, you were just a model.
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It's not like everybody thinks you're a
wimp who actually got beat up by a girl.
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Oh, by the way, Benji, he's paying for
my coffee. I'm what?
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Don't sass me, bitch.
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Oh, my God.
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You're the guy from the domestic abuse
poster.
45
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Yes, I am. So hit me with your best
shot.
46
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I bet it'll leave me in stitches.
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I'm sorry. I just wanted to tell you
that you've inspired me to do something
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about my own problem.
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Thank you.
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Ha -ha.
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Except I never heard that one before.
52
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Same to you, lady.
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So, Benji, look, I could really use your
help, man.
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You a nerd, right? No, excuse me.
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Only fellow nerds can use the N -word.
56
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Hey, what's up, my nerd?
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00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:40,840
Look, I was just hoping you could hack
into youadog .com, the website, and see
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who posted my picture, man.
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Can I hack into a website?
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00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:46,960
Who do you think brought Napster down?
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So I take that as a yes?
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Yes. And I am almost done.
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Bingo! Okay, do you know... Yo,
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I thought you had it, man.
65
00:04:02,900 --> 00:04:07,940
Yeah, no, I thought so, too. But then I
got this virus warning, and I can't take
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any chances with Lola.
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00:04:16,110 --> 00:04:16,749
Hey, Benjamin.
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I'll take a soy latte.
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00:04:22,050 --> 00:04:28,490
So, Lisa, if you like D -Max so much,
why don't you put him on youadog
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.com, Filipino cutie 7521?
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00:04:33,730 --> 00:04:37,430
But don't worry, I'm not telling him. I
don't want to get you into trouble.
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00:04:38,770 --> 00:04:42,890
Well, that's the nicest thing anyone has
ever done for me.
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This is a shakedown, isn't it?
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No, it's just, I did it because I think
you're a nice person.
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You know, when you're not trying to ruin
other people's lives.
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00:04:59,280 --> 00:05:06,260
Okay, I was thinking, since you had
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00:05:06,260 --> 00:05:10,140
such a great time together, when the
summer's over, why don't I go to Paris
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00:05:10,140 --> 00:05:11,140
you?
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00:05:12,180 --> 00:05:13,180
Wait a minute.
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You leave L .A.?
81
00:05:15,950 --> 00:05:16,950
Yeah, sure.
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00:05:17,570 --> 00:05:19,350
You know, I came to L .A. to be with
Brianna.
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00:05:19,990 --> 00:05:20,990
That's over.
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00:05:21,130 --> 00:05:24,070
The further I can get away from her, the
easier it'll be for us.
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Me and you in Paris.
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To get away from Brianna, huh? Yeah, I
know. It sounds good, doesn't it?
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Imagine you and me in Paris.
88
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At the Eiffel Tower, the pyramids.
89
00:05:38,190 --> 00:05:39,470
No, wait, that's in Vegas, right?
90
00:05:40,990 --> 00:05:43,730
They don't teach geography at the guitar
college, do they?
91
00:05:43,990 --> 00:05:44,990
Oh, no, they do.
92
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But I can never find the class.
93
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Sarah?
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Bonsoir.
95
00:05:56,820 --> 00:05:59,540
I am here to turn down your bed.
96
00:06:00,380 --> 00:06:02,160
I may even fall in.
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00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:08,600
Sarah, I told you this isn't about sex
fantasies. I'm through with that. I just
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00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:09,600
want to get to know you.
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I knew I should have worn my princess.
100
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Geisha?
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Naughty INS agent outfit?
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Ugh, fine.
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Just get to know each other.
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This is so nice, Arnaz.
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Wow.
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You just called me Arnaz. What?
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a name tag, aren't you?
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Look, even if I did call you Arnaz, it
was completely innocent.
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00:06:57,510 --> 00:07:00,910
It's just that I'm so mad at him because
after all these years, I thought I
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could trust him.
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00:07:01,790 --> 00:07:04,010
And now I think Michelle is the reason
that we broke up.
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00:07:04,770 --> 00:07:06,930
You know what, Brianna, Brianna,
Brianna?
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I've got some work to do for my
McDonald's training seminar in the
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Maybe we should call it a night.
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Come on, Calvin. I'm sorry I called you
Arnaz.
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Look, let's just get past this.
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Ooh, look.
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Hot babe on the couch.
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Look, I've got my life together, okay?
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I've got a career I love, I know where
I'm headed, and I know how I feel about
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you.
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But I can't be with someone who's
holding on to the past.
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But I thought we really liked each
other.
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I do really like you.
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But I'm tired of having to deal with
Inez.
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So you're gonna have to choose.
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Me or him.
128
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Hey, you home early?
129
00:08:00,820 --> 00:08:03,560
I guess food is not the only thing
Calvin does fast.
130
00:08:05,100 --> 00:08:07,900
Yeah, well, that's what happens when
you're making out with your boyfriend
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00:08:07,900 --> 00:08:09,500
you allegedly call him Arnaz.
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Damn. But that's what happens when
you're stuck.
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Stuck? On Arnaz?
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Negro, please.
135
00:08:19,630 --> 00:08:21,090
Look, here's some advice, all right?
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I've seen plenty of girls who are stuck,
usually on me.
137
00:08:26,710 --> 00:08:30,470
So I know until you get over Arnaz, no
guy is going to want to deal with you.
138
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And it won't be their fault because
you're stuck.
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Stuck, stuck, stuck.
140
00:08:38,190 --> 00:08:40,830
Well, you know what? Yeah, my head is
kind of stuck.
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We did have a date tonight, right?
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There's been a change of plans.
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We're not going out again. Ever.
144
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Really?
145
00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:04,980
You've given up on trying to have sex
with me?
146
00:09:05,740 --> 00:09:08,020
Yeah. I've run out of costumes.
147
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Sorry. Bye.
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You don't want me?
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00:09:16,020 --> 00:09:17,100
Damn, that's hot.
150
00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:20,720
It's not you. It's...
151
00:09:22,510 --> 00:09:23,510
What did you say?
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Ever since I came to L .A., women have
done nothing but throw themselves at me.
153
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Unfortunately, I cooperated.
154
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But you want nothing to do with me. You
don't even care if I see you at your
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worst. This is your worst, right?
156
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Ah, who cares?
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Where's your bedroom? They're there.
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I mean, put me down, you ass. Yes, yes.
159
00:10:00,750 --> 00:10:05,550
I'm off of youanddog .com. Which means
this hound is back on the booty trail.
160
00:10:08,150 --> 00:10:09,390
Gotta go, there it is.
161
00:10:11,030 --> 00:10:12,750
Lisa, if you like the guy, make a move.
162
00:10:13,030 --> 00:10:16,170
Take your shot now before some other
desperate woman snatches him up.
163
00:10:19,770 --> 00:10:20,770
You know what?
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00:10:20,930 --> 00:10:22,330
I am gonna make my move.
165
00:10:26,610 --> 00:10:27,650
Hey. Hey.
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00:10:29,740 --> 00:10:33,260
So was a nice thing you did, taking
DMACC off that site?
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00:10:33,540 --> 00:10:35,260
It was nothing. I'm over him.
168
00:10:35,680 --> 00:10:36,900
Oh, really?
169
00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:40,720
Sometimes you just don't know a good
thing, even when it's right under your
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00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:43,960
nose. So tell me, Benjamin, what's
underneath your nose?
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00:10:45,340 --> 00:10:47,720
Uh, the hint of a mustache?
172
00:11:07,010 --> 00:11:08,010
Remember me?
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00:11:08,410 --> 00:11:10,450
Ah, the return of Ms.
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Sarcasm.
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00:11:12,690 --> 00:11:14,890
I just wanted to thank you for changing
my life.
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00:11:15,470 --> 00:11:16,590
Oh, wait, you're serious?
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00:11:16,930 --> 00:11:19,850
Of course. You gave me the strength to
do what I needed to do about my
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00:11:19,850 --> 00:11:21,730
boyfriend. You left him?
179
00:11:21,970 --> 00:11:24,990
No. He cheated on me, so I kicked the
crap out of him.
180
00:11:26,530 --> 00:11:28,430
Now you and I are going to celebrate.
181
00:11:28,950 --> 00:11:30,630
I don't think that's... Now! Okay.
182
00:11:39,050 --> 00:11:40,049
What's in the bag?
183
00:11:40,050 --> 00:11:41,050
Art supplies.
184
00:11:41,510 --> 00:11:43,710
I'm going to go to my parents' cabin and
do some painting.
185
00:11:43,970 --> 00:11:46,230
Oh, cool. Well, I get off in an hour. I
can go with you.
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00:11:46,490 --> 00:11:49,470
I'm going to go by myself. I'm going to
need some time alone after I break up
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00:11:49,470 --> 00:11:50,470
with you.
188
00:11:50,990 --> 00:11:51,990
What?
189
00:11:52,210 --> 00:11:54,190
Well, maybe I didn't put that in the
best way.
190
00:11:55,310 --> 00:11:57,050
But why? Everything is great with us.
191
00:11:57,410 --> 00:12:01,530
I know, Arnaz, but obviously it's not
over between you and Brianna.
192
00:12:02,270 --> 00:12:06,310
I came back after two months thinking
that you had moved on, but instead
193
00:12:06,310 --> 00:12:08,470
looking to go all the way to Paris to
run away from her.
194
00:12:09,050 --> 00:12:10,130
And your feelings.
195
00:12:10,650 --> 00:12:12,970
Wait, hold on. I'm over Brianna.
196
00:12:13,390 --> 00:12:14,830
My feelings are for you.
197
00:12:15,670 --> 00:12:17,210
I wish I could believe that.
198
00:12:18,950 --> 00:12:23,030
I'm sorry, Arnaz, but I've decided to
spend the summer as a starving artist.
199
00:12:24,010 --> 00:12:26,770
That's why I'm going to fly to Mammoth
tonight in my parents' jet.
200
00:12:34,450 --> 00:12:36,410
So who are you not sleeping with
tonight?
201
00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:39,800
You, for starters.
202
00:12:40,500 --> 00:12:44,480
I called Calvin. He's on his way over. I
called him and told him I chose him
203
00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:46,640
over Arnaz. So you still think I'm
stuck?
204
00:12:47,620 --> 00:12:49,380
Stuck like Al Roker in a tube top.
205
00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:54,500
What do you know, Scooby -Doo -Doo?
206
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:58,480
Hey, I'm offering you a dog .com, okay?
207
00:12:58,740 --> 00:13:00,400
That means I got a new leash on life.
208
00:13:10,830 --> 00:13:13,250
What is wrong with me? You do not want
me to answer that.
209
00:13:15,290 --> 00:13:16,290
Michelle dumped me.
210
00:13:16,550 --> 00:13:17,730
She doesn't think I'm over you.
211
00:13:18,790 --> 00:13:20,290
Yeah, well, there's a lot of that going
around.
212
00:13:21,250 --> 00:13:22,590
I screwed up with you.
213
00:13:22,850 --> 00:13:24,050
I screwed up with her.
214
00:13:24,650 --> 00:13:26,810
I'm in LA. I don't even know why I'm
here anymore.
215
00:13:27,370 --> 00:13:29,210
Well, we came out here to follow our
dreams.
216
00:13:29,430 --> 00:13:30,430
You can still do that.
217
00:13:30,590 --> 00:13:32,670
Yeah, but you and I were part of that
dream.
218
00:13:33,350 --> 00:13:34,870
Are you saying that Michelle is right?
219
00:13:35,110 --> 00:13:36,350
That we're not over each other?
220
00:13:38,670 --> 00:13:41,150
Honest, sometimes I wonder if we should
still be together.
221
00:13:41,470 --> 00:13:42,470
I don't know.
222
00:13:45,230 --> 00:13:46,350
Just give me a minute.
223
00:13:50,470 --> 00:13:52,770
Wow. Rihanna, you look amazing.
224
00:13:53,050 --> 00:13:54,050
Yeah, I know.
225
00:13:57,230 --> 00:13:59,390
Look, Calvin, something's come up.
226
00:13:59,590 --> 00:14:00,630
Tell me about it.
227
00:14:04,770 --> 00:14:07,650
Look, Calvin, we might have to
reschedule tonight.
228
00:14:08,040 --> 00:14:09,040
Wow, what's going on?
229
00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:12,620
It's Arnaz. Michelle just dumped him and
he's in really bad shape.
230
00:14:13,260 --> 00:14:14,260
Poor guy.
231
00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:16,040
Anyway, let's go.
232
00:14:16,160 --> 00:14:20,840
I cannot leave him alone like this.
233
00:14:21,140 --> 00:14:21,999
Wait a minute.
234
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:24,460
You called me. You said you chose me.
235
00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:26,240
He's still my friend, Calvin.
236
00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:28,000
Your ex -boyfriend?
237
00:14:29,040 --> 00:14:30,140
Maybe not so ex.
238
00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:33,480
Look, I'll call you. You already did
that.
239
00:14:34,020 --> 00:14:35,080
No need to do it again.
240
00:14:58,780 --> 00:15:01,480
She's, uh... Actually, I don't remember
her name.
241
00:15:03,580 --> 00:15:04,840
She just moved into the building.
242
00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:07,980
Oh, and what are you doing? Giving her a
welcome basket?
243
00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:16,120
Sarah, I'm sorry. I thought one woman
could be enough. But you let the freak
244
00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:17,120
of the box.
245
00:15:39,280 --> 00:15:40,460
I don't think he got lost again, do you?
246
00:15:41,880 --> 00:15:44,900
You guys see the moon tonight?
247
00:15:45,100 --> 00:15:46,100
It's beautiful.
248
00:15:48,700 --> 00:15:50,260
Wait, are you glowing?
249
00:15:52,240 --> 00:15:54,120
You've been with someone.
250
00:15:55,620 --> 00:15:56,720
Or something.
251
00:15:59,060 --> 00:16:02,240
He's kind, he's smart, and I didn't make
him up.
252
00:16:04,180 --> 00:16:05,440
He's my Benjamin.
253
00:16:07,060 --> 00:16:08,060
Benjamin?
254
00:16:08,620 --> 00:16:09,780
The creepy blog manager?
255
00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:14,460
No, she means creepy in a good way.
256
00:16:14,700 --> 00:16:19,220
Like, oh, Benjamin is fly, fat, and
stupid creepy.
257
00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:24,840
Can I talk to you? Ice cream first,
fool.
258
00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:31,120
Hey, is everything okay?
259
00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:34,680
Okay, so I've been thinking about what
you say. You know, about being open in
260
00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:35,519
new dreams.
261
00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:38,160
Oh, good. And I know how hard thinking
is for you.
262
00:16:41,260 --> 00:16:42,260
Thank you.
263
00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:45,080
I know what I want now.
264
00:16:45,780 --> 00:16:48,300
I want us to help each other achieve
those dreams.
265
00:16:49,060 --> 00:16:50,240
I'd like that, Arnaz.
266
00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:53,340
So I was wondering, can I borrow your
car?
267
00:16:54,620 --> 00:16:56,940
Because I'm going to chase Michelle to
the mountains.
268
00:16:57,500 --> 00:16:58,820
What? Yeah.
269
00:16:59,100 --> 00:17:00,700
I mean, she's my new dream.
270
00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:03,900
And I'm going to make her see that the
way that you made me see it.
271
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:09,079
Wow, after all these years, I never
thought I would be saying this, but...
272
00:17:10,100 --> 00:17:11,680
If that's what you want, go for it.
273
00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:13,900
Don't forget to put gas in it.
274
00:17:16,940 --> 00:17:18,180
You're going to need some money, huh?
275
00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:22,440
Yeah. Can you draw me a map to the
mountains?
276
00:17:24,380 --> 00:17:26,300
Sure. For an old friend, I'd do
anything.
277
00:17:28,860 --> 00:17:30,160
Now go get your crayon. Yes.
278
00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:42,080
Calvin's gone already?
279
00:17:42,980 --> 00:17:44,600
What, did that ice cream give you gas?
280
00:17:48,140 --> 00:17:49,140
Yeah, a little.
281
00:17:52,760 --> 00:17:56,640
But, no, we didn't even have our date. I
had to stay here and babysit Arnaz
282
00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:58,120
because your sister broke up with him.
283
00:17:58,500 --> 00:18:00,020
Oh, well, that's double good news.
284
00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:03,060
Michelle broke up with a loser, and I'm
right again.
285
00:18:03,260 --> 00:18:04,260
You're stuck.
286
00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:10,880
Arnaz the keys to my car to go chase
after your sister.
287
00:18:11,260 --> 00:18:12,740
You let him go after my sister?
288
00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:15,180
Couldn't you have just had sex with him?
289
00:18:17,260 --> 00:18:20,080
No, there is no more Arnaz, no more
Calvin.
290
00:18:21,140 --> 00:18:22,140
I'm free.
291
00:18:24,660 --> 00:18:25,820
You ain't really free.
292
00:18:28,060 --> 00:18:29,200
Yes, I am.
293
00:18:31,100 --> 00:18:32,100
No, you're not.
294
00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:36,700
I'm telling you, I am so free, it's
ridiculous.
295
00:19:03,110 --> 00:19:04,110
I feel better.
296
00:19:06,790 --> 00:19:07,910
Wait, are you going somewhere?
297
00:19:08,890 --> 00:19:09,890
I'm going to Benjamin.
298
00:19:10,410 --> 00:19:12,010
But I'll be all alone.
299
00:20:13,900 --> 00:20:15,000
Love you too, Netta.
22571
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