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I want to be close to you, I want to be
close,
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00:00:06,310 --> 00:00:10,490
I want to be close to you, close, close.
3
00:00:11,970 --> 00:00:14,590
Brianna, those cookies look really good.
Can I have one?
4
00:00:14,870 --> 00:00:20,930
These cookies are for Arnaz, my
valentine, because I love him. If
5
00:00:20,930 --> 00:00:22,050
you, they would make you some cookies.
6
00:00:23,410 --> 00:00:26,250
If I was getting some lovin', I wouldn't
need cookies.
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00:00:30,480 --> 00:00:31,459
Valentine's Day?
8
00:00:31,460 --> 00:00:34,020
Why hasn't Cupid ever shot me with his
arrow?
9
00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:35,940
Does it have to be an arrow?
10
00:00:37,740 --> 00:00:41,960
Self -loathing attitudes like yours,
Lisa, is why I love Valentine's Day. All
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00:00:41,960 --> 00:00:45,300
those lonely, desperate women looking
for the man of their dreams. And when he
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00:00:45,300 --> 00:00:47,120
doesn't show up, what do they do with
all their love?
13
00:00:47,360 --> 00:00:49,840
They deposit it in the cash machine.
14
00:00:51,320 --> 00:00:54,460
You know, Cash, how could you be so cold
and insensitive, man?
15
00:00:55,060 --> 00:00:59,060
Valentine's Day is a day to celebrate.
It's a time for love and giving.
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00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:02,040
Don't you agree, Brianna? You can't have
a cookie either.
17
00:01:03,620 --> 00:01:04,879
Good news, everybody.
18
00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:08,400
My plan to solve my money problems
forever is in motion.
19
00:01:09,840 --> 00:01:12,880
Congratulations. Who's a rich old man
and what's he dying of?
20
00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:16,780
I said good news, not my dream come
true.
21
00:01:17,880 --> 00:01:20,240
Anyway, you know how I've been saying I
want to start my own business?
22
00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:22,660
Well, I've decided to become a
matchmaker.
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00:01:22,880 --> 00:01:25,060
I mean, who knows as much about dating
as I do?
24
00:01:25,450 --> 00:01:27,830
Heidi Fleiss doesn't know as much about
dating as you do.
25
00:01:29,230 --> 00:01:33,330
Anyway, all those dating agencies and
websites out there make a ton of money.
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00:01:33,530 --> 00:01:36,650
I mean, why shouldn't I be the one to
exploit all those lonely, desperate
27
00:01:36,650 --> 00:01:39,050
losers? You are heartless, Sarah.
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You disgust me.
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00:01:40,750 --> 00:01:41,950
I'll give you a discount.
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I'm in.
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00:02:19,340 --> 00:02:21,640
Happy day before Valentine's Day,
Valentine.
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00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:24,320
Aw, baby, they're beautiful.
33
00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:26,660
Almost as beautiful as you.
34
00:02:27,020 --> 00:02:28,680
Oh, my God.
35
00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:31,640
They're perfect. They're exactly what I
need.
36
00:02:32,020 --> 00:02:33,320
Uh, well, these are for Brianna.
37
00:02:34,140 --> 00:02:35,520
You can get your own on the corner.
38
00:02:36,860 --> 00:02:39,540
Just look for a guy in a black van with
a Mercedes grill.
39
00:02:40,940 --> 00:02:42,480
No, not the roses.
40
00:02:42,700 --> 00:02:44,400
I'm talking about you and Brianna.
41
00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:47,620
I just finished telling these guys how I
started my own matchmaking business.
42
00:02:47,900 --> 00:02:50,140
Well, where I come from, they call it
pipping.
43
00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:52,200
Hello.
44
00:02:52,420 --> 00:02:53,420
Spotlight on Sarah.
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00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:54,600
This is important.
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00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:57,160
This is my chance to be better than all
of you.
47
00:02:57,920 --> 00:03:02,020
Now, tomorrow night I'm having my
kickoff party at the blog on Valentine's
48
00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:05,880
And with you two there as a testament to
my matchmaking skills. Hold on.
49
00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:08,560
Brianna and I were a couple before we
even met you.
50
00:03:09,020 --> 00:03:12,240
Yeah, but the singles who will be
signing up for my service won't know
51
00:03:12,730 --> 00:03:14,990
The perfect couple is the best
endorsement.
52
00:03:15,270 --> 00:03:17,670
So you want them to lie and say they met
through you?
53
00:03:18,030 --> 00:03:22,270
No, I just want them to tell people how
happy they are and not tell them they
54
00:03:22,270 --> 00:03:23,270
didn't meet through me.
55
00:03:23,790 --> 00:03:24,790
They're a lie.
56
00:03:25,030 --> 00:03:26,930
No, just not tell the whole truth.
57
00:03:27,510 --> 00:03:28,510
Yeah, lie.
58
00:03:30,110 --> 00:03:31,250
Okay, lie.
59
00:03:31,730 --> 00:03:33,310
That's the first rule of business.
60
00:03:33,730 --> 00:03:36,130
I thought the first rule of business is
the customer's always right.
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00:03:36,410 --> 00:03:37,630
And that's a lie.
62
00:03:42,380 --> 00:03:45,440
with a perfect couple? Of course.
63
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:47,800
Oh, heck.
64
00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:50,720
What's a little white lie for our little
white friend?
65
00:03:52,580 --> 00:03:55,820
Oh, this is great. Now, all I need you
guys to do is to fill out this
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00:03:55,820 --> 00:04:00,800
compatibility questionnaire for Sarah's
soulmate and then bring it with you
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00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:02,020
tomorrow night to the kickoff party.
68
00:04:03,940 --> 00:04:07,860
Likes and dislikes? Well, that's easy. I
like them naked and I dislike them
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00:04:07,860 --> 00:04:08,860
talking.
70
00:04:10,020 --> 00:04:12,680
Hey, why did I know... and I'd take one,
too.
71
00:04:13,140 --> 00:04:14,700
What? We don't need to take a test.
72
00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:18,260
I watched Save the Last Dance 175 times
with you.
73
00:04:18,660 --> 00:04:20,680
That's not being tested. I don't know
what is.
74
00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:24,400
No, baby, but come on. It'll be fun.
75
00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:28,000
Besides, we already know we're the
perfect couple.
76
00:04:28,700 --> 00:04:30,000
Oh, my God.
77
00:04:32,180 --> 00:04:34,040
We are complete opposites.
78
00:04:34,620 --> 00:04:36,920
Since when do you prefer mountains over
the ocean?
79
00:04:37,460 --> 00:04:39,800
Since I found out sharks don't attack on
land.
80
00:04:42,830 --> 00:04:43,749
and don't land.
81
00:04:43,750 --> 00:04:50,450
Um... Brianna, just a stupid quiz that
Sarah probably got from some
82
00:04:50,450 --> 00:04:52,470
goofy women's magazine. Right, Sarah?
83
00:04:53,170 --> 00:04:56,570
Actually, the questions were compiled
from several different studies based on
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00:04:56,570 --> 00:04:58,210
satisfaction in personal relationships.
85
00:04:58,710 --> 00:04:59,710
Who asked you?
86
00:05:01,010 --> 00:05:02,650
Besides, I always suck at tests.
87
00:05:02,890 --> 00:05:04,270
Huh? That's the shocker.
88
00:05:05,290 --> 00:05:08,850
Well, I've always said... Obstruct.
89
00:05:11,630 --> 00:05:14,290
That's just something desperate people
say when they've dropped their standards
90
00:05:14,290 --> 00:05:15,590
as low as they can go.
91
00:05:17,470 --> 00:05:19,130
And that's what I swoop in.
92
00:05:19,470 --> 00:05:21,770
Will there be girls with low self
-esteem in your mixer?
93
00:05:22,050 --> 00:05:23,029
Of course.
94
00:05:23,030 --> 00:05:24,570
Great competition.
95
00:05:26,190 --> 00:05:29,970
I cannot believe this. I have nothing in
common with my boyfriend.
96
00:05:30,450 --> 00:05:32,270
And I have nothing in common with you.
97
00:05:32,510 --> 00:05:34,890
See? Now we have something in common.
98
00:05:51,190 --> 00:05:55,490
Then after you guys went to bed, Brianna
made me retake the stupid test.
99
00:05:55,730 --> 00:05:56,730
I did even worse.
100
00:05:57,010 --> 00:05:58,970
My re -retest is at noon.
101
00:05:59,350 --> 00:06:00,670
But I'm passing this one.
102
00:06:02,690 --> 00:06:07,570
Well, Brianna likes the ocean. Brianna
likes brownies. Brianna hates coffee.
103
00:06:07,810 --> 00:06:08,910
Dude, Brianna loves coffee.
104
00:06:10,230 --> 00:06:12,350
Damn. Hand me that Sharpie.
105
00:06:14,670 --> 00:06:16,730
Ew, heart -shaped pancake.
106
00:06:17,170 --> 00:06:19,890
It's Valentine's Day. Why don't you just
rub my face in it?
107
00:06:20,930 --> 00:06:24,830
Hey, I'm just trying to cheer Brianna
up. They're her favorite. Your shoulder
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00:06:24,830 --> 00:06:25,830
says waffles.
109
00:06:25,850 --> 00:06:26,850
The other one.
110
00:06:30,290 --> 00:06:33,010
Hey, Brianna. Happy Valentine's Day.
111
00:06:33,590 --> 00:06:34,870
Oh, pancakes.
112
00:06:35,470 --> 00:06:37,110
Well, I guess I can eat those.
113
00:06:37,390 --> 00:06:38,390
Oh, no, no, no.
114
00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:40,600
I make pancakes for everybody else.
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00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:44,500
For you, I make them waffles, because
they're your favorite.
116
00:06:45,860 --> 00:06:48,420
So, happy Valentine's Day.
117
00:06:49,280 --> 00:06:54,720
So happy Valentine's Day. Ah, so we can
put all this silly quiz stuff behind us.
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00:06:54,900 --> 00:06:55,940
Oh, we sure can.
119
00:06:56,480 --> 00:06:59,860
This afternoon, after we get a perfect
score on our re -retest.
120
00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:03,040
Right, the re -retest.
121
00:07:03,660 --> 00:07:04,940
I can't wait, wait.
122
00:07:08,750 --> 00:07:10,690
My perfect couple is perfect again.
123
00:07:10,950 --> 00:07:14,730
Now listen, lovebirds. I just want you
guys to speak from your hearts tonight.
124
00:07:15,630 --> 00:07:17,390
So here, I wrote you a speech.
125
00:07:18,630 --> 00:07:21,810
Feel free to say what you want, just as
long as you stick to what's on the page.
126
00:07:22,250 --> 00:07:23,250
Toodles!
127
00:07:53,369 --> 00:07:54,570
Together, yeah.
128
00:07:58,610 --> 00:08:00,910
Thank you, Hendred.
129
00:08:01,270 --> 00:08:06,590
You can purchase our CDs at the counter,
along with some very tasty Dale
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00:08:06,590 --> 00:08:07,870
blueberry muffins.
131
00:08:10,270 --> 00:08:11,310
Hey, Benjamin.
132
00:08:11,670 --> 00:08:13,910
Thanks again for letting me use the
blog.
133
00:08:14,170 --> 00:08:15,950
The decorations look great, don't you
think?
134
00:08:16,270 --> 00:08:20,290
Yeah. Oh, and you know what I'd like to
see hanging next to those adorable red
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00:08:20,290 --> 00:08:21,750
hearts? My dead body.
136
00:08:23,310 --> 00:08:24,730
I hate Valentine's Day.
137
00:08:26,790 --> 00:08:28,130
I couldn't agree more.
138
00:08:28,390 --> 00:08:30,810
You know, Valentine's Day is my favorite
holiday.
139
00:08:31,130 --> 00:08:33,309
In fact, it means so much to me.
140
00:08:33,710 --> 00:08:35,390
I call it love.
141
00:08:36,470 --> 00:08:37,610
Merry love, my girl.
142
00:08:39,190 --> 00:08:43,789
Oh, and I don't skimp when it comes to
dental floss. The cheap kind of shreds
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00:08:43,789 --> 00:08:46,090
to my teeth and makes my gums bleed.
144
00:08:50,650 --> 00:08:52,230
You having a good Valentine's Day?
145
00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:56,500
Huh. That surprises me.
146
00:08:57,700 --> 00:09:00,480
What could a beautiful girl like you
have to be sad about?
147
00:09:01,820 --> 00:09:03,380
You don't want to hear about it.
148
00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:06,580
Well, I'm not leaving until you feel
better.
149
00:09:28,300 --> 00:09:29,299
Of course I do.
150
00:09:29,300 --> 00:09:34,200
That's why we got a perfect score on our
compatibility re -retest.
151
00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:37,400
Oh, what's our favorite month?
152
00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:38,720
July!
153
00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:42,460
Can you believe this turnout?
154
00:09:42,700 --> 00:09:43,820
This could make me rich.
155
00:09:44,180 --> 00:09:48,700
I am finally becoming that successful
independent woman that I've always
156
00:09:48,700 --> 00:09:49,700
of being.
157
00:09:49,860 --> 00:09:51,440
Unless I meet a doctor.
158
00:09:53,780 --> 00:09:55,720
Oh, baby, quick, open your gift.
159
00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:57,320
Okay.
160
00:10:02,350 --> 00:10:05,130
to welcome you to Sarah's Soulmate.
161
00:10:08,930 --> 00:10:10,350
Oh, my God.
162
00:10:11,050 --> 00:10:13,950
Isn't this the same one that Lenny Krabs
is wearing in his album cover?
163
00:10:14,350 --> 00:10:15,450
Oh, I know.
164
00:10:15,790 --> 00:10:18,470
Well, except he could wear his in the
shower.
165
00:10:18,710 --> 00:10:21,410
The guy in the van said this one might
leave a green stain.
166
00:10:23,150 --> 00:10:24,190
Here, try it on.
167
00:10:24,590 --> 00:10:26,210
Uh, you don't have to do that.
168
00:10:26,490 --> 00:10:30,500
No, no, I want to see it on you. And if
you don't meet your soulmate tonight, I
169
00:10:30,500 --> 00:10:36,360
guarantee you, for a mere $29 .95 a
month, I will personally help you find
170
00:10:36,540 --> 00:10:39,420
And if you pay cash, I guarantee they'll
be American.
171
00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:45,160
But now, I'd like to bring up a couple
who can attest to the happiness that
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00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:46,500
found through Sarah's soulmate.
173
00:11:20,329 --> 00:11:21,329
Look,
174
00:11:22,410 --> 00:11:25,630
I never wanted to take this stupid quiz
in the first place.
175
00:11:26,490 --> 00:11:29,530
I've been trying all day to please you
and nothing is working.
176
00:11:29,890 --> 00:11:31,950
I only cheated to get you off my back.
177
00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:01,520
Good news, everybody.
178
00:12:02,140 --> 00:12:04,680
I've tracked down our perfect couple.
179
00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:08,640
Please welcome to the stage, Brianna and
Arnaz.
180
00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:16,760
Yo, what's up?
181
00:12:17,340 --> 00:12:18,920
Yeah, what's up?
182
00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:26,040
Yo, we just wanted to come up here and
say a few words. You know, share our
183
00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:28,020
thoughts about Brianna and Arnaz's love.
184
00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:30,060
You're a damn dumbass.
185
00:12:30,980 --> 00:12:33,460
Oh, I mean, about our love.
186
00:12:33,680 --> 00:12:34,680
Our love.
187
00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:37,040
Yeah, we're in love.
188
00:12:37,540 --> 00:12:41,240
The kind of love where you can't keep
your hands off each other.
189
00:12:42,940 --> 00:12:49,680
You know, being in a relationship is a
wonderful thing, but it isn't always
190
00:12:49,680 --> 00:12:54,360
easy, you know, because no two people
are alike, and nobody's perfect.
191
00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:59,780
But... When you love each other as much
as we do. And I really, really love this
192
00:12:59,780 --> 00:13:00,780
man.
193
00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:03,740
Oh, my God, it feels so good to say that
out loud.
194
00:13:04,220 --> 00:13:10,040
Excuse me, Brianna and Arnaz. When you
met through all my dedicated work,
195
00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:14,420
did you know right away that you would
be soulmates?
196
00:13:15,380 --> 00:13:16,620
Oh, of course.
197
00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:21,600
You don't meet someone like Arnaz and
not know what a wonderful guy he is.
198
00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:24,140
Um, excuse me, Brianna.
199
00:13:24,750 --> 00:13:25,790
Cute name, by the way.
200
00:13:26,970 --> 00:13:31,310
You say how wonderful Arnaz is, but how
much do you really know each other?
201
00:13:31,550 --> 00:13:33,150
I mean, you seem so different.
202
00:13:33,750 --> 00:13:34,750
Yeah.
203
00:13:34,950 --> 00:13:36,570
You guys must fight a lot.
204
00:13:36,850 --> 00:13:39,810
You seem cool, Arnaz, but you, Brianna,
you seem stubborn.
205
00:13:42,330 --> 00:13:45,230
Well, you know, sure, sometimes we
fight.
206
00:13:46,070 --> 00:13:47,110
Damn, girl, you strong.
207
00:13:48,550 --> 00:13:51,790
But, you know, luckily, we have very...
208
00:13:52,060 --> 00:13:54,080
understanding and good -looking
roommates.
209
00:13:54,540 --> 00:13:59,380
And they remind us that the love we have
is the kind of love everybody's looking
210
00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:00,359
for.
211
00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:04,360
And they also say not to throw it away
over something as stupid as a...
212
00:14:50,190 --> 00:14:53,470
14th boyfriend left me because I didn't
wear enough skirts.
213
00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:59,830
And then my 15th boyfriend, he left me
because my parakeet made too much noise.
214
00:15:01,430 --> 00:15:03,470
And then... I get it.
215
00:15:04,830 --> 00:15:07,570
Men leave you for any number of reasons.
216
00:15:07,790 --> 00:15:09,790
Well, guess what? We all got problems.
217
00:15:10,170 --> 00:15:13,530
I grew up with no father. I wore my
sister's hand -me -downs. Matter of
218
00:15:13,570 --> 00:15:14,570
fit their sweater.
219
00:15:15,730 --> 00:15:19,530
My film career is in the toilet. I hide
in garbage to take pictures of B
220
00:15:19,530 --> 00:15:22,600
-list... celebrities just so i can
afford the privilege of sharing a room
221
00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:29,200
two other dudes wow you really had it
tough
222
00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:36,160
i know hold me sorry you have a lot of
baggage
223
00:15:36,160 --> 00:15:43,060
and i prefer to travel light good luck
to you though and you look really nice
224
00:15:43,060 --> 00:15:44,060
that sweater
225
00:15:52,970 --> 00:15:53,970
close to me?
226
00:15:55,310 --> 00:15:56,950
Doing this for Sierra?
227
00:15:57,230 --> 00:16:00,290
For her sake, we still have to pretend
we're Brianna and Arnett.
228
00:16:02,390 --> 00:16:04,450
Sell it. Put your hand on my thigh.
229
00:16:05,890 --> 00:16:08,110
My God, are you grinding my leg?
230
00:16:08,450 --> 00:16:09,450
No.
231
00:16:09,770 --> 00:16:11,730
Not unless you like it.
232
00:16:14,150 --> 00:16:17,370
Hey, you guys, tonight was a huge
success.
233
00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:23,400
pleasure.
234
00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:24,960
You owe me.
235
00:16:26,860 --> 00:16:30,440
And after I make my fortune, I may even
give you my forwarding address.
236
00:16:32,920 --> 00:16:34,820
Has anybody seen Brianna and Arnaz?
237
00:16:35,300 --> 00:16:36,300
Trick question.
238
00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:54,360
Just wanted for a walk.
239
00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:00,860
Well, are we okay?
240
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:05,440
Yeah, this has been a weird Valentine's
Day.
241
00:17:06,180 --> 00:17:07,180
I know, baby.
242
00:17:08,260 --> 00:17:10,680
Look, I'm sorry I freaked out about that
test.
243
00:17:11,260 --> 00:17:14,579
I just got so caught up in the whole
idea of us being the perfect couple.
244
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:18,040
Yeah, well, you need to give that up,
because I'm far from perfect.
245
00:17:18,780 --> 00:17:19,780
Except for my abs.
246
00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:22,640
Wait, niggers?
247
00:17:25,130 --> 00:17:25,868
candy bar?
248
00:17:25,869 --> 00:17:26,890
Oh, that's for me.
249
00:17:27,190 --> 00:17:28,250
I'm going to the store later.
250
00:17:29,650 --> 00:17:31,230
You are so cute.
251
00:17:35,770 --> 00:17:37,590
Look, I don't know what got into me.
252
00:17:38,970 --> 00:17:42,830
I think that whole opposites thing just
threw me. I mean, my parents are
253
00:17:42,830 --> 00:17:44,290
opposites and look how that turned out.
254
00:17:46,110 --> 00:17:49,610
But the good thing is we're not them.
255
00:17:50,350 --> 00:17:52,050
Yeah, but we have been fighting a lot.
256
00:17:52,710 --> 00:17:54,210
I know, but we make up.
257
00:17:55,110 --> 00:17:57,830
Yeah, but it seems like we're always
making up.
258
00:17:59,270 --> 00:18:03,910
Speaking of which, we still have ten
minutes left of Valentine's Day.
259
00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:06,070
So what do you want to do?
260
00:18:08,510 --> 00:18:09,510
I'm pretty beat.
261
00:18:10,730 --> 00:18:13,370
I got up at six o 'clock this morning to
make you pancakes.
262
00:18:13,790 --> 00:18:15,250
I mean, waffles.
263
00:18:17,070 --> 00:18:19,310
I got a class early tomorrow morning.
264
00:18:19,910 --> 00:18:21,250
I think I'm just going to crash.
265
00:18:25,300 --> 00:18:26,300
Okay.
266
00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:33,160
Goodnight!
267
00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:04,740
Oh, they took off the second you went to
clean the bathroom.
268
00:19:07,340 --> 00:19:08,340
Where'd they go?
269
00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:09,840
I said not to tell you.
270
00:19:11,120 --> 00:19:12,400
Even DMACC?
271
00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:14,800
Okay, he's the one who said not to tell
you.
272
00:19:15,660 --> 00:19:17,580
I hate Valentine's Day.
273
00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:18,980
Oh, me too.
274
00:19:24,300 --> 00:19:29,350
Would you like... A cup of coffee? We
have a lot of cleaning up to do and we
275
00:19:29,350 --> 00:19:32,250
could be here all night long. I love
them.
276
00:19:32,490 --> 00:19:33,590
Oh, cool.
277
00:19:34,550 --> 00:19:35,650
Actually, it's kind of hot.
278
00:19:36,630 --> 00:19:37,630
I'll say.
279
00:19:39,310 --> 00:19:40,790
I'm talking about the coffee.
280
00:19:41,210 --> 00:19:43,150
Oh, I'm so sorry.
281
00:20:14,120 --> 00:20:15,240
Daddy. Love you too, Netta.
22109
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