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Brianna, Christmas vacation is only a
week. You have no stuff in here to close
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00:00:14,440 --> 00:00:15,680
the entire country of Haiti.
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00:00:17,780 --> 00:00:21,480
Arnaz, you never know when a holiday
party might jump off. A sister needs to
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00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:22,480
have 30 pairs of shoes.
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00:00:24,420 --> 00:00:27,420
We're going to give everyone their gifts
now. The taxi to the airport is going
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00:00:27,420 --> 00:00:28,420
to be here any minute.
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00:00:30,510 --> 00:00:31,930
Christmas Eve morning, ladies.
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00:00:32,210 --> 00:00:34,710
Arnaz and I wanted to give you your
gifts before we head off to Baltimore.
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00:00:35,290 --> 00:00:36,290
Thanks, Lisa.
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00:00:36,610 --> 00:00:37,610
What? Lisa?
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00:00:38,730 --> 00:00:42,250
I'm sorry, Brianna. I'm just in a hurry.
Chip and I are off to his vacation home
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00:00:42,250 --> 00:00:43,250
in Santa Barbara.
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00:00:43,530 --> 00:00:46,930
Wait, so you're dissing your family just
so you can have a rendezvous with your
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00:00:46,930 --> 00:00:48,210
boss? Correction.
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00:00:48,550 --> 00:00:49,550
Rich boss.
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00:00:51,550 --> 00:00:52,810
Soon to be rich husband.
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00:00:53,530 --> 00:00:56,790
My mom is in a trailer park in Iowa.
Trust me, she's rooting for me.
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00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:04,940
after my parents spend the entire
evening telling me I'm an embarrassment
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00:01:04,940 --> 00:01:05,940
Filipino race.
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00:01:06,740 --> 00:01:08,540
Well, you know what? Here, take two.
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00:01:08,860 --> 00:01:12,720
It was for the mailman, but you're more
depressed than any postal worker could
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00:01:12,720 --> 00:01:13,720
ever be.
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00:01:14,780 --> 00:01:15,780
Holiday!
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00:01:17,320 --> 00:01:20,160
Oh, Merry Christmas Eve morning, fella.
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00:01:20,780 --> 00:01:23,260
Sorry, I don't do holidays. They're way
too commercial.
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00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:26,020
That's why I'll be in Palm Springs
trying to photograph a famous family at
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00:01:26,020 --> 00:01:28,140
Christmas. So I can sell it!
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00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:34,640
I'm with Cash. Christmas is overrated.
You know what I'm saying? This year, I'm
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00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:38,620
boycotting the family's e -trip.
Brothers on skis is just unnatural, you
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00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:43,740
Weren't you people raised by Grinches?
Christmas is the best, and do you know
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00:01:43,740 --> 00:01:44,740
why? Yeah.
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00:01:45,140 --> 00:01:48,720
Finals are over and school is out, and I
get to lay around in my drawers all
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00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:49,720
day, made in China.
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00:01:52,940 --> 00:01:57,060
No, because we get to go back home to
Baltimore where it's cold during
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00:01:57,060 --> 00:01:59,500
instead of being here where it feels
like Fourth of July.
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00:02:01,100 --> 00:02:02,100
This weather, great.
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00:02:03,780 --> 00:02:05,440
Woo, 85 degrees.
38
00:02:05,820 --> 00:02:06,880
It feels like the Fourth of July.
39
00:02:09,100 --> 00:02:10,880
Man, I love Christmas in L .A.
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00:02:11,660 --> 00:02:13,820
Ho, ho, ho.
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00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:16,940
Man, he has a Christmas spirit.
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00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:20,540
Oh, no, man ain't got three loose women
in the back of his El Camino.
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00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:58,620
All right, we got our favorite Christmas
movie, her favorite wine, and my
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00:02:58,620 --> 00:03:00,860
favorite, big -ass turkey.
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00:03:05,620 --> 00:03:07,340
Ain't nobody home. Take that, take that.
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Hey, what are you two doing still here?
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00:03:14,180 --> 00:03:15,460
God canceled Christmas.
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00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:19,380
All flights to Baltimore were canceled.
There's a snowstorm on the East Coast.
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00:03:34,990 --> 00:03:36,130
little Christmas right here in Venice.
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00:03:36,410 --> 00:03:38,970
Baby, Christmas in California is not
Christmas.
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00:03:39,210 --> 00:03:44,230
I want snow. I want to ice skate. I want
to sing Christmas carols by a blazing
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00:03:44,230 --> 00:03:45,230
fire.
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00:03:45,370 --> 00:03:48,890
Ooh, we can sing Silent Night to the
fire eater on the boardwalk.
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00:04:12,010 --> 00:04:15,250
Yeah, Chip's mother, right? The one he's
always complaining about? Yeah. Well,
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00:04:15,310 --> 00:04:16,910
it turns out she's actually his wife.
56
00:04:18,170 --> 00:04:19,390
He married his mother?
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00:04:21,890 --> 00:04:23,970
Oh, you're better off. You don't want to
be in that family.
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00:04:25,550 --> 00:04:28,590
Oh, hell, not you too.
59
00:04:30,250 --> 00:04:31,810
Oh, I see.
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00:04:32,050 --> 00:04:33,670
You guys tried to ditch me, huh?
61
00:04:33,970 --> 00:04:36,010
Look, it's not what you think, all
right?
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00:04:36,390 --> 00:04:40,430
Nagging Nancy was the wife and not the
mama, and God closed Baltimore.
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00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:47,140
boss's son to dinner just so I could
meet him?
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00:04:47,460 --> 00:04:49,220
It's just dinner, Lethal. What's wrong
with that?
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00:04:49,460 --> 00:04:51,800
Hello? My parents still believe in
arranged marriage.
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00:04:52,380 --> 00:04:55,860
Besides, this guy didn't have a strand
of hair on his entire body.
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00:04:56,320 --> 00:04:57,600
It'd be like dating a newborn.
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00:04:59,100 --> 00:05:01,100
Hey, what's all this?
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00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:04,820
Holiday movies, all this food.
70
00:05:06,660 --> 00:05:08,440
You got your fade touched up.
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00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:14,480
Smelling like juice and berries.
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00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:18,040
hair grease.
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00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:20,660
You got a woman coming over.
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00:05:21,300 --> 00:05:22,300
What?
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00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:26,400
I used to date a Laker, but I didn't
even get a ring out of it.
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00:05:28,340 --> 00:05:30,640
So, uh, were you expecting company, D
-Mac?
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00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:32,240
Company?
78
00:05:32,940 --> 00:05:38,540
Uh... Uh... All right, all right, y 'all
got me.
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00:05:38,780 --> 00:05:43,040
Yeah, I was planning on having a special
friend over, but, uh, I guess now I
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00:05:43,040 --> 00:05:45,160
have to cancel. Now, if you'll excuse
me.
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00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:46,840
Daddy's got a heart to break.
82
00:05:49,300 --> 00:05:52,800
How desperate do you have to be to go
out with Z -Mac on Christmas Eve?
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00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:54,320
How does my hair look?
84
00:05:56,260 --> 00:05:58,380
Baby, this is going to be the worst
Christmas ever.
85
00:05:58,780 --> 00:05:59,780
Brianna, it's still Christmas.
86
00:06:00,300 --> 00:06:01,540
Can't we just make the most of it here?
87
00:06:02,140 --> 00:06:04,380
Right, like what am I supposed to do?
Bring balls from the water?
88
00:06:40,560 --> 00:06:42,340
you guys get the full East Coast
experience.
89
00:06:42,940 --> 00:06:46,200
Sarah, being from Iowa, I thought you
would have missed the cold winters.
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00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:48,920
as much as I miss barn raisings and
hoedowns.
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00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:53,340
Hoedowns, those sound warm.
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00:06:55,560 --> 00:06:59,160
All right, well, my special Christmas
cookies will be ready any minute.
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00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:03,620
But while we're waiting, there's nothing
like a cup of hot apple cider on a cold
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00:07:03,620 --> 00:07:04,680
winter's night.
95
00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:09,000
Should we pour this directly onto our
frozen body parts?
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00:07:22,299 --> 00:07:23,299
Including reindeer.
97
00:07:23,900 --> 00:07:26,060
I said reindeer, not reindeer.
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00:07:27,860 --> 00:07:28,860
Give me a treat.
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00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:33,520
All right, come on, you guys. I'll turn
off the A .C. if you help us decorate
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00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:34,520
the tree.
101
00:07:35,640 --> 00:07:37,520
You mean the Christmas bush?
102
00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:42,680
Oh,
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00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:45,300
Cash is now home, too.
104
00:07:45,560 --> 00:07:48,680
But see, he was smart enough to kick his
own ass before he came home.
105
00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:55,400
Well, I was on my stakeout in Palm
Springs and I spot Ben Affleck with Baby
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00:07:55,400 --> 00:07:58,920
Bennifer when all of a sudden Jen Garner
jumps on me from behind and beats me
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00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:00,200
like a naughty schoolboy.
108
00:08:02,240 --> 00:08:03,960
Ah, I think I'm in love.
109
00:08:06,140 --> 00:08:10,540
So why the rest of you home? Oh, all
snowed out, hello Mrs.
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00:08:10,780 --> 00:08:12,700
Chip, and love Filipino staff.
111
00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:17,580
Bummer. Knew it. Are you crazy? That was
your only chance.
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00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:25,280
little crabs and Fanta hats.
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00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:28,739
Here's our chant.
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00:08:28,740 --> 00:08:29,940
Let's push her in the oven.
115
00:08:30,900 --> 00:08:31,859
Come on.
116
00:08:31,860 --> 00:08:35,020
I know Brian's behaving like Santa's
little helper on crack.
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00:08:36,980 --> 00:08:39,120
But this is our first Christmas away
from home.
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00:08:39,360 --> 00:08:40,460
Can't we all just play along?
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00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:41,919
All right.
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00:08:41,919 --> 00:08:44,039
I got it.
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00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:49,800
Oh, Dios mio.
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00:08:50,060 --> 00:08:51,740
Santa did get my letter.
123
00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:54,840
At least Navi daddy.
124
00:08:57,840 --> 00:09:04,280
Esperanza! I guess you didn't get my
message.
125
00:09:04,620 --> 00:09:07,700
Well, it turns out I have company.
126
00:09:08,120 --> 00:09:11,100
Well, that's okay. The more the merrier,
huh?
127
00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:12,580
I like this girl.
128
00:09:13,180 --> 00:09:14,300
Can I take pictures?
129
00:09:16,220 --> 00:09:21,020
I really think the whole fiery Latin
girlfriend thing is overrated. You know,
130
00:09:21,060 --> 00:09:22,340
Asian is the new...
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00:09:37,870 --> 00:09:41,030
babysitter? Come on, girls. You can help
with the turkey. What?
132
00:09:43,110 --> 00:09:44,630
Dude, she's your nanny?
133
00:09:45,210 --> 00:09:47,710
If the wet nurse is coming, shotgun.
134
00:09:53,530 --> 00:09:57,730
Look, man, the only reason why I invited
her over here was because she was going
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00:09:57,730 --> 00:09:59,130
to be all alone on Christmas Eve.
136
00:10:10,380 --> 00:10:11,420
Not to mention the cook.
137
00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:14,480
Oh,
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00:10:15,020 --> 00:10:17,100
is there a problem with the plumbing?
139
00:10:19,320 --> 00:10:20,460
What y 'all doing in here?
140
00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:21,720
Oh, never mind.
141
00:10:21,900 --> 00:10:22,900
Oh, what a bed.
142
00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:25,300
This is for the turkey.
143
00:10:26,140 --> 00:10:28,460
Who is you calling Turkey Chiquita?
144
00:10:30,980 --> 00:10:33,860
At least let me tie one on first before
you start all that name calling.
145
00:10:35,260 --> 00:10:38,360
Okay, you guys, I know I shouldn't, but
it is Christmas Eve.
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00:10:39,500 --> 00:10:40,500
Manny?
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00:10:40,910 --> 00:10:44,170
Would you like to join us for dinner?
148
00:10:45,110 --> 00:10:48,470
I think I'll be having turkey in my
room.
149
00:10:49,210 --> 00:10:51,250
Stop coming on to me, Sarah!
150
00:10:54,450 --> 00:10:56,750
Thanks for the invitation, but I already
got plans.
151
00:10:57,510 --> 00:11:01,030
And the first one involves you, my
frothy frall line.
152
00:11:17,090 --> 00:11:18,690
Look at them, Arnaz.
153
00:11:19,090 --> 00:11:21,430
They need a big dose of Christmas
spirit.
154
00:11:22,070 --> 00:11:24,130
Ooh, I'll spike the eggnog.
155
00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:30,310
No, that thing we were saving for
Christmas morning needs to happen right
156
00:11:30,730 --> 00:11:32,730
Brianna, you can't force... I said do
it.
157
00:11:35,110 --> 00:11:37,730
Well, all the food is in the oven.
158
00:11:39,770 --> 00:11:40,790
plenty of company.
159
00:11:41,350 --> 00:11:43,390
I'm going home to my own family.
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00:11:46,570 --> 00:11:48,110
Wait, family?
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00:11:48,630 --> 00:11:51,290
DMACC said that he was doing you a favor
because you were lonely.
162
00:11:51,670 --> 00:11:54,410
I ain't say all that. See, why you lying
on Christmas?
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00:11:55,590 --> 00:11:58,250
She just thought because her little trip
didn't work out.
164
00:11:58,490 --> 00:12:00,970
Ay, Terelito, you don't have to be
embarrassed.
165
00:12:01,850 --> 00:12:05,650
Ay, ever since he was five and his
parents didn't take him on their ski
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00:12:05,810 --> 00:12:09,090
it's been our tradition to watch movies
and stuff our faces.
167
00:12:09,550 --> 00:12:11,690
while we wait for Santa Claus, huh?
168
00:12:13,210 --> 00:12:18,490
Oh, T -Mac, on the night before
Christmas, waiting for Santa with your
169
00:12:18,490 --> 00:12:23,230
teddy bear and footie pajamas across
your tight little booty.
170
00:12:24,890 --> 00:12:29,210
And to all a good night.
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00:12:31,970 --> 00:12:34,590
Esperanza, you ruined my street cred.
172
00:12:39,310 --> 00:12:40,310
But you should be.
173
00:12:41,870 --> 00:12:45,230
Don't worry, D -Mac. We understand. No
one wants to be alone on Christmas.
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00:12:45,510 --> 00:12:47,110
You speak for yourself, Mad Santa.
175
00:12:48,350 --> 00:12:52,750
Merry Christmas. Feliz Navidad. Merry
Christmas.
176
00:12:53,790 --> 00:12:54,790
Okay,
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00:12:56,250 --> 00:12:58,730
you guys. We have a surprise for you.
178
00:12:59,050 --> 00:13:02,610
Now, I know you really haven't felt the
Christmas spirit, but that's all about
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00:13:02,610 --> 00:13:04,030
to change. Come on, follow me.
180
00:13:05,310 --> 00:13:07,030
I've already felt the Christmas spirit.
181
00:13:07,530 --> 00:13:10,490
Jennifer beat me with a baby Jesus from
their nativity scene.
182
00:13:12,270 --> 00:13:13,690
Guys, move it so slow.
183
00:13:13,930 --> 00:13:14,930
Get close together.
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00:13:15,050 --> 00:13:16,049
We a family.
185
00:13:16,050 --> 00:13:20,110
All right, everybody, close your eyes
and get ready for a real taste of
186
00:13:20,110 --> 00:13:22,170
Baltimore. Okay, Arnaz, now!
187
00:13:24,730 --> 00:13:25,730
Hey,
188
00:13:26,410 --> 00:13:27,410
it's snowing.
189
00:13:27,590 --> 00:13:28,590
Isn't it cool?
190
00:13:28,810 --> 00:13:32,190
Manny had a leaf blower and Arnaz picked
up some fake snow from the dollar
191
00:13:32,190 --> 00:13:35,270
store. Oh, and by the way, don't get any
of this in your eyes.
192
00:13:37,710 --> 00:13:38,710
What is he blowing out there?
193
00:14:20,950 --> 00:14:25,010
You are supposed to be an angel of
mercy. Where's your Christmas spirit?
194
00:14:25,410 --> 00:14:26,410
I'm Jewish.
195
00:14:27,730 --> 00:14:30,910
Now, you have a seat, and I will call
you when the doctor's available.
196
00:14:31,250 --> 00:14:32,350
Happy Hanukkah.
197
00:14:36,530 --> 00:14:38,930
Um, Christmas is ruined.
198
00:14:39,430 --> 00:14:41,990
Arnez may never walk again, and it's all
my fault.
199
00:14:42,890 --> 00:14:44,410
What was that about not walking?
200
00:14:52,240 --> 00:14:56,340
Excuse me, cutie. Have you been naughty
or nice? Because either way, I got a
201
00:14:56,340 --> 00:14:57,920
little something to stuff in your
stocking.
202
00:14:59,620 --> 00:15:03,780
That would be disturbing if it wasn't
the best offer I've had all year.
203
00:15:05,580 --> 00:15:06,980
Of course, the year's not over.
204
00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:08,540
What do you think, DMACC?
205
00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:13,220
Well, I think you shouldn't look a gift
horse in the mouth, even if it is
206
00:15:13,220 --> 00:15:14,220
looking you in the knee.
207
00:15:17,060 --> 00:15:19,820
So, Rudy, what are you doing for New
Year's Eve?
208
00:15:20,140 --> 00:15:23,440
I'm free after my gig as the baby knew
you. Why don't you give me a call?
209
00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:25,060
Hey, here's my card.
210
00:15:28,500 --> 00:15:30,640
Arnaz Ballard, you're going to X -Ray.
211
00:15:32,340 --> 00:15:36,280
Thank you guys so much for coming down,
but you don't have to stay. If you leave
212
00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:38,320
now, maybe you can salvage what's left
of your Christmas.
213
00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:41,120
This Christmas is nothing but jingle
hell.
214
00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:47,400
Tell me about it. If Jennifer Garner
hadn't kicked my ass, this Christmas
215
00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:48,400
be a total bust.
216
00:15:50,730 --> 00:15:55,090
Still can't believe Esperanza would
rather be with her own family instead of
217
00:15:55,090 --> 00:15:56,090
on Christmas Eve.
218
00:15:56,570 --> 00:15:57,910
And I've seen her kids.
219
00:15:58,650 --> 00:15:59,690
They ain't that cute.
220
00:16:02,130 --> 00:16:05,590
Hey, guys, let's get out of here. I'm
going out with Rudy on New Year's Eve.
221
00:16:05,890 --> 00:16:08,450
I better start practicing my crouching.
222
00:16:24,590 --> 00:16:25,590
Why are you here dressed up like Santa?
223
00:16:26,590 --> 00:16:30,010
Oh, see, I made an appearance down at
the mall, and since I was all dressed up
224
00:16:30,010 --> 00:16:33,290
with nowhere to go, I figured I'd come
down to the hospital and talk to all the
225
00:16:33,290 --> 00:16:34,290
hot ladies.
226
00:16:35,030 --> 00:16:36,030
Ooh.
227
00:16:36,250 --> 00:16:37,450
Hey, sugar bloomers.
228
00:16:39,050 --> 00:16:42,110
I love the emergency room. They can't
run away.
229
00:16:43,110 --> 00:16:44,470
Oh, there you are, Manny.
230
00:16:45,330 --> 00:16:50,290
Listen, now, I know it's late, but the
kids refuse to go to bed unless they get
231
00:16:50,290 --> 00:16:51,290
an arm...
232
00:16:54,830 --> 00:16:55,830
All right, you got me.
233
00:16:55,930 --> 00:16:59,550
I do this every year. There's nothing
worse than a kid spending Christmas in
234
00:16:59,550 --> 00:17:01,710
hospital. Wait, wait, wait. I know this
part.
235
00:17:02,210 --> 00:17:05,270
And the Grinch's heart grew 12 times
that night.
236
00:17:08,109 --> 00:17:10,569
Manny! Come on, the kids are waiting.
237
00:17:11,650 --> 00:17:13,030
Merry Christmas, Dad Beats!
238
00:17:14,190 --> 00:17:15,190
Hey,
239
00:17:17,710 --> 00:17:21,010
who would believe it? Manny, of all
people, has a Christmas spirit.
240
00:17:21,250 --> 00:17:22,250
No, even...
241
00:17:25,099 --> 00:17:31,900
have it worse than we do i don't like
myself right now more than usual you
242
00:17:31,900 --> 00:17:38,760
know there is a way to fix this we all
pitch in so lisa can go to therapy no
243
00:17:38,760 --> 00:17:43,820
can fix lisa but we can fix our
christmas spirit come on
244
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:57,340
I've got to admit, bringing all this
stuff from the house was a great idea.
245
00:17:57,660 --> 00:17:59,880
I think we've made these people a little
happier.
246
00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:01,480
Can someone help me?
247
00:18:01,860 --> 00:18:02,860
I've been shot.
248
00:18:03,880 --> 00:18:05,660
Oh, what a pretty tree.
249
00:18:09,700 --> 00:18:10,700
You know what?
250
00:18:10,900 --> 00:18:14,960
This is the Christmas spirit that
Brianna wanted us to have all along. I
251
00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:16,380
know why we let Lisa get in the way of
that.
252
00:18:26,220 --> 00:18:29,140
We made you feel bad when all you were
trying to do was make our crummy
253
00:18:29,140 --> 00:18:30,079
Christmas better.
254
00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:31,580
Well, I hope you can forgive us.
255
00:18:31,900 --> 00:18:33,460
Oh, of course I can.
256
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:38,440
Oh, I'm so lucky to have you guys and to
be spending this Christmas with my new
257
00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:39,920
family. You know what?
258
00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:43,620
Now that I think about it, this is the
first Christmas I've spent with a real
259
00:18:43,620 --> 00:18:44,660
family in a long time.
260
00:19:13,540 --> 00:19:16,260
Oh, that was great.
261
00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:18,940
I love It's a Wonderful Life.
262
00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:24,480
Every time a bell rings, an angel gets
its wings.
263
00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:26,620
That part always gets to me.
264
00:19:28,720 --> 00:19:29,760
Did you cry?
265
00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:37,400
It's for my date.
266
00:19:39,060 --> 00:19:40,060
You know what?
267
00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:43,200
This Christmas turned out really good
after all.
268
00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:47,940
Just goes to show you, it's not where
you spend Christmas, but who you spend
269
00:19:47,940 --> 00:19:48,940
with.
270
00:20:18,990 --> 00:20:19,990
Love you too, Netta.
21701
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