All language subtitles for one_on_one_s03e23_the_plays_the_thing_1

A Doll's House?

Who's the writer?

Barbie?

No, Raggedy Ann.

It was written by Henrik Ibsen.

So you mean he has time to host Good
Morning America and still write

plays?

No, that's Charlie Gibson.

A Doll's House is a classic play about a
woman who feels trapped by her

conventional life.

So which role are you going for?

Obviously the most challenging.

You mean the one with the most lines.

I need to have as many lead roles as I
can possibly land in order to make it to

Broadway.

Ah, New York.

That's my dream, too.

Sleep on a park bench, play in little
coffee houses.

You guys, I have to get this part.

I must draw upon my method acting skills
and become a depressed Swedish

housewife so I can get to Broadway.

The only problem is I don't know how to
get depressed.

Try your mother's a recovering
alcoholic, and your father insists that

his teenage fiancée mom.

Um, Ernest, maybe you ought to give up
rock and roll and sing some country.

Mama's having a hard time giving up the
Jim Beam.

But I can't tell no one's name.

Then I'll isolate yourself when there's
nobody.

ex -jock and blonde bombshell are a
winning combo.

The chemistry between Flex Washington
and Holly Spears is a breath of fresh

Scratch and sniff me, Geraldine, because
I stink of success.

Well, pull my finger, because our
general manager, Johnny Bullbank, is

with Queens World Syndication.

Johnny Bullbank smells me, too? Uh -huh.

Yeah, and you know what that means?

Looks like we're finally going national.

Ooh, national.

Yes. The flex file's going nationwide?

Mm -hmm. I'll need new suits, new shoes,
a new sign -off. Something that says,

America.

Flamerica.

Slow down, big boy, okay? It's not all
about you. The critics are loving the

whole Denzel Washington meets Pamela
Anderson thing.

They're loving the swirl.

The last time I checked, only the
chocolate in that swirl was nominated

Baltimore's best sports anchor.

She's just a peroxide monkey on my back.

Yeah. Will you give that monkey a banana
and keep her happy because she's our

ticket to syndication?

Oh, here comes Monkey Brewster now.

Oh.

Oh.

Uh,

why are you so happy? Did the one -thumb
security guard ask you out on a date

again?

Liebchen.

Liebchen is German for sweetheart, and I
have one.

Helmut Rose.

He's a German history professor, and
he's almost as smart and pretty as I am.

You're so self -centered. There are more
important things to talk about.

Me. Now, I'm inches away from going
national, and I've decided to take you

with me.

You know, I've been giving this a lot of
thought.

And...

Should I change my name to Holly Rose or
Holly Spears Rose?

Look, how am I ever going to become Nora
if I can't get said?

Okay, here's one.

When I was five, my dad ran over my
favorite doll and wouldn't replace it.

You had a doll?

Action figure. I meant action figure.

My parents always taught me to look on
the bright side. Being positive is

stifling my creativity.

I know, me too. Look at this shirt.

What? It's really cute.

You don't break into the fashion world
by being cute. You break in by being

and loud.

Well, why don't you just scream?

Wait, where are you going? My audition
is in two days. I need help. Depress me.

Well, picture yourself at a crossroads.
You don't know which way to turn, but

you don't want to turn back.

Alone at a crossroads. Shut up, spirit.

Mr. Washington.

Boy.

Guess what? Looks like my show is
definitely going nationwide.

Oh, Daddy, that's great. We need to
celebrate.

Oh, I can't tonight. I'm having dinner
with Geraldine to talk strategy.

But, Daddy, you're always working. I'm
your daughter. You're supposed to make

time for me.

Okay, how about this? I have a nominee's
dinner coming up in a couple of days.

How about you be my date?

Really, Daddy? You mean it? Yeah, why
not? I have the prettiest date there,

I'll even buy you a new dress.

Captain Flamerica.

Hey, buddy, can I get my power tie back
that you borrowed?

Uh, yeah, about the tie, I'm actually
wearing it right now.

As a garter.

Yeah, I use it to woo Candy into moving
in with me. And she agreed.

Congratulations, man. You two thinking
about getting married? Oh, marriage? No,

no, no, not yet.

Just, uh, just roommates.

Roommates who, uh, who spoon.

And a fork. And a spatula.

Hey, I get the picture.

Wow, Candy moving in, that's a big step.

You never lived with a woman before?

Nope. Well, other than my mama and my
canary Fifi, who actually turned out to

a boy. Do you know how hard it is to
find out the sex of a bird?

Another time.

Let me tell you how it is when your
girlfriend moves in.

First, it's beautiful.

All the loving and cuddling.

I like that part.

And then she starts cooking your
favorite things, helping you with

and she starts laughing when she falls
in the toilet because you forgot to put

the toilet seat down.

I do that sometimes.

And then they turn on.

Oh, yeah.

The loving and the cuddling is replaced
with a swat and a smirk.

The housecleaning stops and is replaced
with a, what fits up your size? Would

you think I'm a maid?

And the toilet seat thing? Ooh, once you
hit a splash, that's two weeks on the

couch. Alone.

No spoon.

No fork.

No spatula.

That's it for The Flesh Files. I'm
Fletch Washington.

And that's...

My meal ticket.

Flat out.

And we're clear.

What are you, a clown in Barnum and
Bimbo?

He left me, Flex.

Who, Liebschen? He said I was too
loquacious, too malleable, too

Too wordy?

I'm too fat.

Man, who knows what we're thinking.

I'd buck up.

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

Okay, Flex, our syndication ship is
sinking, so you need to board the good

Hollypop and make her happy.

Go, go, go.

Maybe Helmut didn't think I was pretty
enough.

Uh, pretty enough?

You're beautiful.

Oh, don't look now.

He dumped me, Flex.

Like he's ashamed of me.

He's the Democratic Party, and I'm
Howard Dean.

Wow,

that guy really hurt you, huh?

You know what? Forget Helmet.

He doesn't deserve you.

You know what?

Wash your face, and why don't you let me
take you to lunch?

You want to have lunch with me?

I hate you. You're my sidekick. My dog.

My show dog.

Show dog.

I like that.

This was a good idea, Plex. I feel
better already.

It might have something to do with the
fact that I haven't had carbs in three

years.

I want to marry the man who invented
bread.

Helmut just walked in with a girl.

Helmut is a player. She is hot.

Plex. Show dog.

over here.

Yeah, I'm sorry.

He can't see me alone, Flax. Broke me.

Holly?

Oh, hello, Helmut.

Flax, Helmut, Helmut, Flax.

Here's my new leapshin.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Holly's new leapshin.

Or as we say in the hood, lebu.

I'm glad to see you've recovered from
our brief love affair so quickly.

Actually, I'd like to thank you. If it
hadn't been for your brief love, I never

would have realized that my true love
sits at the anchor desk with me daily.

Poor, poor, rebounding Holly.

A word of advice, Felix.

That's flex, sauerkraut.

Girls like Holly, they are like Rubik's
cubes.

At first, you can't put them down, but
then they get all twisted and they lose

their novelty, yeah?

So that's all I worth to you?

Something you play with until you move
on to your next plastic toy?

Helmet, you're an idiot.

You let go of this beautiful woman for
that?

Shame on you.

Holly is a wonderful, loving, caring,
kind, and sexy woman.

It's the best thing that's ever happened
to me.

Do you mean that, Lex?

Do I mean it?

Come, my schnitzel.

I've lost my appetite.

Now that's a leapshit.

Well, well, well, what do we have here?

Oh, uh, Geraldine. It's not what you
think.

Holly's ex came in here with his new
bimbo, and we were just trying to make

jealous. Flex was my knight in shining
armor. He swooped in and saved the day.

You jumped in my lap.

Yeah, but you put your hands on my
thighs like you meant to.

We just think you're all being blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

What I see here is an opportunity, okay?
A blonde bombshell and a chocolate

wonder together on camera and off.

Baltimore's going to love it. Or they're
going to hate it. Either way, it's

ratings bonanza.

Joe, then how long are you suggesting we
keep up this facade?

Just flex. This is the hook we need to
slam dunk the show into syndication.

It's hip. It's splashy. It's funky
fresh.

I appreciate the fact that you got
yourself a hip -hop dictionary, but I'm

going to do it.

In other words, your idea is... Wicky,
wicky, whack.

Hey, Daddy. I just want to thank you so
much for these dresses.

So which one should I wear to the
dinner? This one or this one?

Brianna, sit down, baby.

What, you don't like these? You could
buy me some more.

No, look, that was Geraldine.

She sees this dinner as a promotional
opportunity, and she's insisting that I

take Holly as my date.

So you'd rather spend time with your
fake girlfriend than your real daughter?

Brianna, baby, I'm sorry. I will make it
up to you, I promise.

I gotta go shoot some promos. I'm sorry.

Mr. Washington, boy.

If you're here to tell me some more
stories about your family to depress me,

good.

No, this is about me.

I'm moving to New York.

You're right. And how you gonna get
there? A tornado and a house with no

foundation?

No, I'm serious.

My mom's having a hard time with
sobriety and she wants us to move in

aunt. If I'm gonna move, I'm going to
New York to help my music.

If I can make it there, I can make it
anywhere.

Well, I should write that down.

Wait a minute. This is for real?

You're moving to New York?

When? What about school? What about
senior year?

Well, there are schools in New York.

Besides, there's nothing here for me.

Nothing?

Nothing at all?

Look, Brianna, this isn't about you.

Okay? This is about me and what I need
to do.

Fine.

Then go.

Look, Brianna, don't be mad.

Okay, it's going to take me a few days
to raise the money, and besides, it's

like I'm leaving today.

Watch the Flex Files on WYNX and learn
something new about sports every time.

Lesson number one.

It's getting hot in here.

All right, this is going too far. And,
Holly, I believe this is your gum.

Hey, there's nothing wrong with using my
feminine wiles to appeal to the

sophomoric sensibilities of our core
audience.

Oh, you can't see my bra.

Look, I want to talk about the nominee's
dinner. I've tipped off the press about

your torrid love affair, so I want you
two to really couple it up for the

cameras, okay? Holly, what are you
wearing? You should wear that dress you

at the Christmas party last year.

Wear something twice, Flux?

I don't double dip.

But I am flattered you remembered.

You know what? Why don't you wear
something red?

Red brings out the sparkle in your eyes.

Okay. I'll wear red because I'm your
good show dog.

Barking like a couple of lovebirds.

Guess who's coming to dinner?

Okay, I'll go along. with this as long
as we all agree on two things. This

thing is a fake and I'm better looking
than Sidney Poitier.

They call me Mr. Washington.

Until they became my opinions.

I don't know my first line.

What's my first line?

How am I going to audition if I don't
know my first line?

Why are you so freaked?

I don't know.

It could be the fumes from that oil rag
you're passing off as a t -shirt. It's

hideous.

line, Oil Rag by Spirit.

Oh my God, I think I'm next.

Who I'm gonna take?

I can't believe Arnaz will tell me that
he's leaving for New York right before

the biggest audition of my life.

Rihanna, you can't fault Arnaz.

We're all just chasing our dreams.

Now you need to focus on this audition
and make Debbie Gibson proud.

Henrik Ibsen.

Rihanna Barnes, you're next.

Oh my God, that's me.

Who feels unloved? Who feels that her
father and her husband always put their

needs before hers? How can I relate to
that?

You've never understood me.

I've been dreadfully wrong, Torvald.

First by Papa and then by you.

You never loved me.

You only found it pleasant to be in love
with me.

Wow,

everyone's staring at us. I know, it's
like we're at an exhibit at a talent

museum.

Good, Flex.

Now have her come sit on your lap.

Hey, Holly, uh, come sit on my lap.
Let's give him the money shot.

Good, good. Now give her a little kiss
on the cheek.

Ooh, that's nice, Flex.

Good, good. Now feed her a breadstick.

No, not that one, the long one.

Uh, I'll be back. Give me one minute.

Okay, this is not gonna work.

What are you doing?

I think I know how to bring a freak out
in a woman.

Uh, I don't think you do. Not a freak
like Holly.

So you just need to put this back in
your ear and let me walk you through it.

Do you know who I am?

These streets are littered with my
conquest.

You've never driven down Flex X
Boulevard.

But it's quite a ride.

So buckle up, baby.

So kidding.

Anyone parked there? Do I need a permit?

All right, now, where were we?

Wow.

I know.

All right, guys, I think you got enough
shots.

Give us some privacy.

Man, people are really starting to eat
this me and you thing up.

It's delicious, isn't it?

Ooh.

Okay, the cameras are gone. I don't
think your foot is supposed to be there.

there.

It's okay, Flex.

You wouldn't have gone through all this
trouble if you didn't feel the way you

feel or kissed me the way you kissed me.
Ooh.

You got a hole in your stocking.

See? You notice everything about me.

That's why it's obvious.

What's obvious?

You're falling in love with me.

And I feel the same way. Huh?

See,

now this is the kind of place that
Candy's gonna want to come home to.

She hasn't always had it easy, you know.
She grew up in different foster homes

and never had a strong male role model
in her life.

I hope I can be that for her.

Dwayne, you can talk all you want, but
I'm not gonna forget that she owe me 20

bucks. Rats.

Hello? Oh, hey, Sal.

Oh, Bermuda, fun, yeah.

Hey, do you need me to open up the car
lot tomorrow?

What do you mean there's no car lot?

What do you mean there's no tomorrow?

Okay.

Well, it was nice knowing you too, Sal.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Adios, Juan Tito.

Was that your boss?

Well, not anymore.

Juan Tito, formerly known as Big Sal,
formerly known as Jimmy the Snitch, is

being investigated for tax evasion and
he's closing down the car lot.

Man, I'm out of a job.

Dwayne, I'm sorry.

What am I going to tell Candy?

She's expecting to move in with a
responsible, stable, employed man.

Dwayne, your candy's home.

Love you too, Netta.