All language subtitles for one_on_one_s03e17_spy_games_reloaded

Daddy, please let me say about myself
while you're in Los Angeles.

I've got to leave in a hurry, so real
fast.

In Italiano, no. In Espanol, no. And in
Flexionese, no, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no.

Rihanna, look what you're doing.

You're putting your book bag on my brand
new Cresthaven chair. There's only two

in the whole Baltimore area.

Daddy, it's just a chair.

Oh, no, this is not just a chair. This
is Himalayan leather.

The thin air makes the cow skin very,
very soft.

Daddy, give me one good reason why I
have to stay with Spirit's parents for

weekend. Because you can't be trusted.
You threw an illegal rave, you lied to

get a credit card, and the last time I
left you alone, you threw a party that

the condo association is still talking
about.

That's because they weren't invited.

Rihanna, this sports conference is
important.

Rumor is ESPN's looking for new talent.

This could be my chance to go national.

And you know what that means?

A trip to the mall?

A new couch to go with my new chair that
you can't sit on.

Look, Daddy, I've grown.

I promise I won't disappoint you. In
fact, I promise I will make you proud.

Whoa.

Oh.

Hey, what are you guys doing in my
bathroom?

This isn't your bathroom. This is my
apartment.

Oh, man.

It's got to be the painkillers from the
kidney surgery.

It makes me a little...

Okay, Brianna, I'll give you your last
chance. You can stay here.

Yahoo! But you have to take care of
Dwayne. Boo -hoo!

I enjoy coming to these conferences.

I get to hang out with funny guys from
ESPN, from Fox Sports, and I even get to

hang out with you guys from the Ping
Pong Channel.

But is it really such a bad thing being
backup quarterback?

I mean, look at Mark Bolter in St.
Louis.

He's played most of the season, and now
his stock is sky high.

You have the most beautiful eyes.

Have you thought about doing on -camera
reporting?

Sitting next to moi?

Flex.

I mean, if you want.

No,

no, no.

Sorry.

Flex Washington, this is Stuart Scott.

Of course.

Who is a big SportsCenter fan?

Reminds me of my show, The Flex Files.
I'm number one with men 18 to 49 in the

greater Baltimore area. Hit me up top.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, I'm sorry. Your name
is Flex?

And his middle name is a bull.

Oh, Flex!

Miss Sheila Kerr. You columnists sure
know

how to use your words almost as well as
you use your son to steal stories from a

TV reporter.

Come on, Flex, get over it.

Besides... You got the better end of the
deal. Oh, yeah, you ain't lying about

that.

Anyway, Stuart, I have been thinking
about doing some on -camera reporting.

In fact, I heard you guys may have an
opening over at ESPN.

Oh, really?

Oh, man, I heard the same thing.

You should check out my show. It's on
every weekend.

Yeah, I'll check it out the next time
I'm in Baltimore.

And the cable's out.

I will see you on Sunday.

at the roundtable discussion.

I'll see you there.

Yeah,

I'll be there too, Stu.

Booyah!

Desperation doesn't go with that tie,
Flex.

I'm sorry, I couldn't get my push -up
bra on this morning. By the way, yours

looks great.

You're not looking so bad yourself.

It's only been a few months. Not that
much has changed, although I must look

taller standing up.

I suppose you're thinking about using
this round table discussion as an

for ESPN, huh? Of course. I do some of
my best work on tables.

Dining room tables, massage tables, time
tables.

You have some time?

There's a table.

I can't. I can't. I have a meeting in
the morning with Dan Patrick.

Oh, baby, that's more than 12 hours
away. I'm only going to need 10 of

Wait a minute.

You said you have a meeting with Dan
Patrick from SportsCenter?

Well, he's got to eat breakfast, and if
I show up while he's there, I guess you

can call it a meeting.

Ooh, pancakes with a side of stocking.
Ooh, you are so devious, so conniving,

hot. But you're right.

This is a business trip. Yeah.

And you and I are just going to have to
wait.

Who cares? You're hot and I'm hotter.

Okay, maybe you're hotter.

I'm just in a hurry. Remember, I can't
be up all night. I'm trying to bump into

Dan Patrick in the morning. Well, Dan
Patrick's going to have to take a number

because you're going to be bumping into
me all night long.

How's my chicken soup doing?

You said you wanted pea soup.

why Candy quit taking care of you.

She couldn't stand seeing me in pain.

Oh, really? I think that's the best
part.

Excuse me. I just had a major organ
ripped from my body.

So why don't you and your two kitties go
across the hall and give me some

chicken soup before I die?

I've got to chop some chicken.

Chase McCall's mom is visiting his dad
at Roland Pines Penitentiary, so he's

having fun tonight.

You coming?

Look, you guys, I've got to help take
care of Dwayne.

This is the last chance to prove to my
dad that he can trust me.

In fact, you guys shouldn't even be
here. Come on, let's go.

She used to touch me.

Okay, everybody calm down. We can fix
this.

Okay, have you been eating brownies out
of your parents' off -limits tin?

That's great, but don't go.

Okay, but see, my parents have this all
-natural remedy that can fix any stain.

Oh, well, the stain is gone, and I'm
dead.

The entire chair is ruined.

Oh, if only I had enough money to
replace the chair.

You know, my mom made a little money
when she sold all my dad's stuff before

divorce. I got a skis for a nickel.

I'll throw a garage sale.

If I sell all my clothes and my gear, I
might be able to make enough money to

replace the chair before my daddy gets
home.

And I can donate stuff, too. My parents
have tons of trinkets from Africa made

in Korea.

And we can tell the white customers that
they were made by our slave ancestors

and guilt them into overpaying.

Shoot, we just missed Black History
Month. We could have got double.

She looks like a little angel.

That's like the devil.

Well, I'm glad Dwayne's feeling better.

Hey, you sound extremely comfortable.

Are you sitting in my chair?

No, no, of course not.

All right, well, it sounds like you have
everything under control. Give my

cherry kiss for me.

You'll be so proud of me when you get
home, Daddy. I've been such a good girl.

How much for this messed up chair?

What chair?

Is there something wrong with my chair?

Chair? No. She said chair.

I'm at the mall buying vintage dolls.

Where's my sunny doll?

I gotta go. Bye.

Um, Mrs. Cabot, that chair is $1 ,500.

For a ruined chair?

How much for the boy?

telling me Jimi Hendrix played this
thing?

The question is, did Jimi play it or
give birth to music with it?

I'm confused.

I like being confused.

Well, then this is not a guitar, and I'm
not taking your money.

Well,

thanks, you guys. You really came
through for me. Yeah, and I sold every

of... for my parents' African trinkets.

White guilt is the cash cow.

Well, I think we made just enough to
replace my daddy's new chair.

Come on, let's go to the furniture store
before they close.

Arnaz, can you grab my keys? They're
right next to the TV. Yeah.

Brianna, where's your dad's flat -screen
TV?

Oh, my God!

Because that, and only that, is what
sports journalism is all about.

You let me sleep in, and I missed my
breakfast meeting with Dan Patrick. You

didn't miss him. Dan ordered room
service. I know, because I ate his

bacon.

You went to his room?

Hey, the early bird gets the worm, or
should I say the bacon?

You're trying to sabotage my career.

No, I'm trying to build mine.

You didn't tell me to wake you up. I
mean, surely someone as enterprising as

yourself has heard of an alarm clock.

You're right.

You're right. I should have been on it
myself.

Oh, you were on it last night.

I say we return to the scene of the
crime.

I can't tonight, Flex. I've got the
roundtable discussion tomorrow, and so

you. Remember, it's practically an
audition for ESPN. I know. I'm hoping

help me go national.

I'll see you later?

Yeah, I'll see you later.

This is later, right?

What am I going to do with you, Flex?
You're so bad.

You won't regret this.

I never do.

Sheila?

Sheila?

Room service.

Yes, um, I'd like to order the all
-American breakfast.

Yeah, does that come with a side of bolt
cutter?

My life is over.

My dad's coming home tonight. That means
my funeral's tomorrow.

Why do my nurses always leave me?

Do my stents do that?

Supervisor TV, too.

Oh, Mr.

Washington's gonna be mad at you when he
comes home?

Please, I donated my kidney, not my
brain.

What have you three been up to?

All right, Dwayne, it's like this.

It's all Spirit's fault.

My fault I should fry you like bacon
because you squealing like a pig. You

only have 90 cents left because you just
dropped the dime on me.

I'm sorry.

I watched the Beretta Marathon last
night.

Okay, Dwayne.

In a nutshell, my dad's TV is gone, I
ruined his brand new chair, and I hope

don't mind moving the laundry off your
weight bench because I'm gonna need a

place to sleep.

Baby, my laundry's not going anywhere.

I'm gonna give you the money for the
television.

What? Pop another pill, Dwayne. You
don't have any money.

My daddy gave me some money.

He was so happy that I gave my brother
my kidney that...

He opened up a savings account for me.

$10 ,000.

Hey, have you been losing weight?

Do you really mean that, Duane?

Yeah. I mean, I know I'm a horrible
patient.

I mean, Candy's my girl, and you're my
goddaughter, and you both left me high

and dry.

And obviously, I need some health care
here.

Say to the tune of one flat screen
television, hmm?

I'll be happy to take care of you,
Duane, again.

Thank you.

Now, get off me. Don't make me a grilled
cheese sandwich.

And you, a chocolate milkshake. Go on
in.

And you, tell me jokes, all right? No
knock -knocks, no priests, no rabbis.

Okay, a guy walks into a bar. No bars.

How far will a reporter go to get a
story?

How far should a reporter go to get a
story? What are the boundaries?

Are there any boundaries?

Uh, this is a roundtable discussion,
people. Just, you know, feel free to

right on in there.

Sheila Kerr, Baltimore Examiner.

As a woman in this business, you better
push the boundaries if you want to run

with the big dogs.

Now, I may look like a cute little
poodle, but trust me, baby, I'm a pit

Prada.

Pit bull?

The woman's more like Cujo in Calvin's.

Ah, Mr. Washington.

From Baltimore's WYNX and something
called the Flex Folders.

Files, Stuart.

Flex Files. Help a brother out.

Anyway, sorry I'm late. I got a little
lost on the way over here. I made a

turn on What's Wrong With You Avenue.

Anyway, I'd like to say I've had a great
weekend.

Flat out.

Thanks for grandstanding there, Flex.

Sheila here was just talking about how
women journalists sometimes feel the

to push the boundaries in order to
compete with their male counterparts.

Your thoughts?

Yes, Lex, why don't you tell us your
thoughts?

Off the cuff.

Very cute, Sheila. Speaking of
boundaries, what happens to the male

attempts to be sensitive and let his
guard down only to become a victim, nay,

a hostage? in a seedy game of revenge.

I'm not sure I'm following this, but
that could be because of the double

cappuccinos. Booyah!

I'll tell you where this is going,
Stuart.

Nowhere.

How can you say that after I unselfishly
gave you the best two nights of your

life?

Just so you could handcuff me to the bed
and try to steal a job at ESPN.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

This was supposed to be about
boundaries, but since I'm the moderator,

none.

Boo, boo, boo, boo, boo. Booyah.

Hey, that's my new thing.

Can I get another cappuccino?

I can get it for you, Stu.

Look at you. You'd do anything to get a
job at ESPN.

There ain't no job at ESPN.

See? Look what you've done. Now there's
no job at ESPN.

Are you even listening to him? There was
never a job to begin with.

Yeah, that's because of you.

Black, lose my number. I never want to
see you again.

You ain't said nothing but a word,
sister girl.

Don't try and mess with me.

I'm a pit bull in product. That's a pit
bull in product.

Next conference question. Should two
competing journalists sleep together?

Apparently, not.

Next question.

Oh, Flex, this whole me and you thing
isn't going to work out.

I don't know. I've just been working for
the last 36 minutes.

No.

I'm serious.

We're poison together.

A good kind of poison, right? Like the
kind of stuff people inject into their

foreheads and make them look younger?

No.

The kind of poison that kills careers
and relationships.

Oh, Flex, I like you a lot.

I mean, your kisses make my toes curl.

You're ambitious and you're a great
journalist.

It's been fun for me, too.

I've never dated a woman like you
before.

You're just like me.

Except you have all these fun extra
parts.

We're always going to be competing
against each other. If it's not a job,

going to be an interview. If it's not an
interview, it's going to be a breaking

story. But our...

Our career is more important than our
happiness?

Yeah.

So, is this it?

Yeah.

This is it.

Well, as long as the room is paid for,
what do you say we agree to be friends

after one last...

Dance. Okay.

But since this is it, you better put it
down like you mean it. Oh, I hope you're

flexible.

Spirit, how much longer until those
leather chaps you're making me are done?

It would be much faster if your hips
weren't uneven.

Ooh, how's the bathroom?

Brianna, you owe me big time.

Oh, excuse me. Have to go use the
sandbox.

Brianna, peel my grape while I'm gone.

Okay, this is ridiculous. I can't put
you guys through this anymore.

Yeah, but we can't leave until we get
that check.

This check?

I don't know.

It wouldn't be right.

I'm out of toilet paper. Can somebody
bring me a roll?

You know, this is enough to replace the
TV and my juicy hat.

And pizza and movies at the mall.

Love you too, Netta.