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Once upon a time, there was a little
girl who was the apple of her dad's eye.
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As she grew up, many boys tried to woo
her, but none were good enough for dad.
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So now, to help find her one true love,
dad and daughter have both agreed to
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enter a fairy tale realm of romance,
full of hot single boys who, upon
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this magical kingdom, are transformed
into handsome princes.
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I would like to think that there is a
perfect person out there for everybody.
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think that there is a true
compatibility, a soulmate.
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So yeah, I'm on a quest to find my
soulmate, my prince.
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But there was a catch.
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For in this magical kingdom, it would
not be the princess picking her prince
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charming. It would be the true ruler of
this land.
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A terrifying retired PE teacher.
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Otherwise known as Dad.
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There's a website called Rate My
Teacher. So I went on to see if I got
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One said this guy is a schizophrenic,
megalomaniac, sadist.
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So any boy wishing to win the heart of
the princess must first endeavour to
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impress her dad by surviving a series of
terrible, twisted tests of love.
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Have you ever looked at another man's
penis and thought, nice penis?
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This week, searching for her Prince
Charming is Princess Nicky, a cruise
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dancer and her 65 -year -old dad, Pat,
who hail from a land not so far, far
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called Sutton Coalfield.
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I think me and my dad are quite alike on
some level.
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You're in terms of idiot like I am,
aren't you really? Yeah, we don't like
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idiots.
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But I think my dad's got quite a short
fuse.
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His temper can come out quite quickly
over something quite menial.
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Trivial. Isn't menial the right word?
No. Trust me.
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Hoping to impress dad and win a date
with his daughter are a brave bunch of
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-hungry hunks.
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And joining the princely posse this week
is 21 -year -old Prince Saram, a
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customer complaints officer from the
kingdom of actors.
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I think the problem for me, you know,
attracting girls is two reasons. Quite
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simply, first of all, yes, I'm very
close with my mum.
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You know, within two minutes, the topic
will change to my mum.
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Also, I'm very caring and I'm very nice.
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And girls, from my experience, are not
really attracted to that.
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Only one prince will win a date with
this week's princess.
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But what virtues did Dad Pat hold dear?
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Back in the princely village, a list of
his dadly demands were dispatched for
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all to meet.
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The kind of guy I would love to see
Nicky date, ideally, would be
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good -looking, physically fit, and
respectful.
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The princes were not gifted a picture of
this week's princess, so they knew not
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what she looked like, but propelled by
the mere possibility of love, a band of
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seven princely heroes.
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set forth to apply for the job of Dad's
Prince Charming.
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So the stage was set for this week's
Princely Hopeful's first challenge.
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It was a simple task to make a good
first impression on death upon the
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terrifying catapult of truth.
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This magical machine of truth is the
work of the wizard of the castle and
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professor of the human mind, Dr. David
Lewis.
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It will allow Dad to ask his princely
candidates any question he so desireth.
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In order to guarantee their answers are
truthful, the wise old wizard has
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attached a genuine lie detector into his
devilish device that can detect the
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stress in a prince's voice that betrays
their honesty.
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Beware, however, for if a prince's
answer displeases Dad in any way...
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Then they will immediately be catapulted
30 foot up into the air and into the
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lake of losers.
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And so, as our princes nestled into the
bosom of the wizard's marvelous machine,
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it was time for Dad's interrogation to
begin.
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Have you ever made a sex tape?
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No No No
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No No
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The sex tape contained superheroes.
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Basically, I was Batman and she was
Catwoman.
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Basically, it was just a bit of a
fantasy that we went to battle.
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Take a look at my face
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for the last time.
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The wizard's magnificent machine could
detect a deception in poor Prince
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Martin's voice.
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There was no hiding from the truth, a
fact that now weighed heavily on the
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of a terrified -looking Prince Luke.
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Have you ever made a sextant?
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Yes.
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Yeah, sitting on the catapult was a
really nerve -wracking thing. I was
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terrified. One time it was Christmas
time and my ex dressed up in crutchless
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thongs and she had a Santa outfit on and
she was pretending to be Mother
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Christmas. So I ended up having sex with
her and videoed her all and just
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something to keep hold of to remember
Christmas.
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Ah, yes, Santa porn. It's as festive as
mince pies and Christmas food.
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Anyhoo. Five princes now remain as Dad's
deadly examination continues.
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Have you masturbated in the last 24
hours?
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No.
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No.
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No.
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Yeah.
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I don't like to lie, basically.
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I mean, you can see straight through it
anyway, so there's absolutely no point
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in me trying to lie my way through it.
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Prince Ben's decision to fall on his
sword of truth was foolish but noble.
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But would our remaining four princes now
follow suit?
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It was time for another dadly dilemma.
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Have you ever looked at another man's
penis and thought, nice penis?
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No.
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Night.
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It's not unusual for a man to look
another guy's willy in the pub toilets
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think, yeah, that's impressive, it's
bigger than mine.
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Don't make me insecure.
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Mine's big enough, it's all right.
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Prince Charlie's fate proved it would
take a master of deception to defeat the
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wizard's magnificent machine.
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Have you ever looked at another man's
penis and thought, Mmm, nice penis?
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No.
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I will try.
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Well,
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I have actually seen Jermaine Defoe's
penis once in a London nightclub.
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I was standing there in the toilet.
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And, you know, naturally as a boy, you
don't really want to look. But
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unfortunately, the corner of my eye saw
something very large.
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And I looked up and I saw Jermaine Defoe
looking back at me. So, you know, there
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you go.
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Good Lord.
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Dad's test of truth now revealed onto
him three new heroes to be greatly
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admired. Prince Navid, Prince Buff
Daddy, and Jermaine Defoe.
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Sadly, Jermaine couldn't make it, so it
was down to the other two to see who
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will be victorious in this first
challenge.
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Have you ever fantasized about a
girlfriend's mother?
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No.
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No. I like older women.
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So, yes, I would have subconsciously
fantasized about it. But obviously I
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want him thinking that I'm going to try
her with his wife.
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So it came to pass.
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That Prince Buff Daddy is the champion
of Dad's first challenge. His reward is
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to pass safely into the next round of
this princely contest.
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But for the other princely failures, it
was now time for Dad to consider which
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of them have impressed him the least of
all and be banished from his kingdom for
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good.
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So Martin's lied about making a sex
tape.
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Well, I'm reasonably broad -minded about
sex tapes, I'm sure you are, as long as
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they aren't overly pornographic.
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But I was really quite disappointed with
the boy that he told lies about it.
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Yeah. Let's look at Luke.
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Well, my first impressions were good,
quite attractive, quite strong, seemed
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be quite brave.
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The problem I had with him, the big
problem I had with him, was he came onto
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catapult quaking at the knees.
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He was terrified.
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If the two of us were just walking down
a dark alley and someone jumped out and
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he got scared, it would obviously scare
me. Yeah. I need a man, even if he's
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afraid, to show you he's not. Yeah.
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So that you're not afraid.
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And would you hold that against him?
Pray so.
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Really? Yeah, sorry.
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Just what his daughter was doing with
the prince in a dark alley in the first
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place mattered not.
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For Dad's mind was now made up.
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I was scared a bit at the actual launch
on the catapult, I'm not gonna lie. It
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wasn't the best feeling in the world.
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But when I got over and done with it, it
wasn't that bad, so maybe I was a bit
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of a pussy at the time.
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So Prince Luke was the first prince to
fall.
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Sadly, he would not be the last casualty
in Dad's quest for love.
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Return to us with Godspeed, my friends,
as the story of My Little Princess
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continues.
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Welcome back to My Little Princess.
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Six princes now remain, but only one can
win a date with Dad's daughter.
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The rest will return week after week
until they find the girl of their
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Back in the princely village, thoughts
now turn to what form this dream girl
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might take.
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There's a lot of girls that I do like. I
like that Rachel Riley off Countdown.
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Yeah. She's awesome.
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But I think it's because she's, like,
intelligent.
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a really weird crush on Carol Borderman.
Carol Borderman!
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She's like, one more half of a vowel,
please.
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You can vowel me any day.
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She evokes that with Carol.
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Previously, Dad Pat had rid himself of
Prince Luke for his cowardice on the
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Catapult of Truth.
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Not only was he absolutely terrified
about what was about to happen, he
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showed that he was terrified. He could
have at least put a brave face on it.
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Fearlessness was a virtue he held dear,
which is why for his next challenge he
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has called upon the services of the
Castle Witch.
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This week, the witch had had a
particularly evil thought. If Dad wants
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who is the bravest prince of all, then
why not see which prince is really a man
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or a mouse?
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One by one, the evil witch transforms
the princes into giant, idiot
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-faced mice.
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Unable to see anything at all beneath
their new beastly skins, Our blind mice
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men can only break the curse by running
as fast as they can in a straight line
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towards another blind princely rodent.
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Whichever mouse man manages to run the
furthest and fastest will pass safely
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into the next round. Whoever loses must
pray that Dad has mercy.
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on their souls.
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This next test is to ascertain which of
these princes is brave enough to be my
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daughter's consort, and which one is a
mouse -like creature who would scurry
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away at the first sign of danger.
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First to do mousely battle are Prince
Ben and Prince Buff Daddy.
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I'm going to give him the whole truth,
nothing but the truth, and let's hope
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that he can handle the truth, because
these swans don't lie. They're sick.
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Daddy. I mean, it's what? Bus Daddy?
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What's that?
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What is that?
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I'm the Beast of the North. I'm Benjamin
Batlax.
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The
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place
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in which the two blind micemen collide.
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will reveal to dad and daughter which
princely rodent is really a man and
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is really a squeaky little mouse.
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This was close, but could appear on this
occasion the green mouse ran furthest
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and farthest.
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Which means, incredibly, tis Prince Ben
who has slain the mighty
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Prince Buff Daddy.
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Wow. Oh, there's a turn up for the book.
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Yeah. Goodness me.
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It was quick, wasn't it? Yeah.
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I thought the determination there got
him over the line. Yeah. Despite his
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of physical stature. Yeah. Jordan didn't
stand a chance. No, he didn't, did he?
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You're right.
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Prince Ben's astounding victory means
his passage to the next round is
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That's the moment that I showed the
world.
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what I can do.
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Prince Buff Daddy, however, must wait
and see whether his efforts have
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Dad enough to guarantee his survival.
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I'll do a fail. I'm not gonna lie, I'm
pissed off.
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And so it was time for the next two
princes to do mousely battle.
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Prince Aram, the new boy, versus he of
the curious hair, Prince Charlie.
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Once again, it was extraordinarily
close.
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But upon closer inspection, it can be
seen that the golden mouse man ran the
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furthest. And thus, it can be revealed
that this contest's bravest mouse is
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Prince Saran, who defeated cowardly
Prince Charlie.
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He had the fight in him. He certainly
did, didn't he? And the physique,
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obviously, the weight he's carrying,
he's used it in a good way there.
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He's absolutely flat and charming.
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I hope Charlie's all right.
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Poor Charlie.
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I would have been embarrassed at losing
the challenge, but at the same time, I
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00:19:54,830 --> 00:19:59,070
was up against a big guy and I was
clearly the underdog in the competition.
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And so, as loser Prince Charlie awaits
the deliberation of Dad, it is time for
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00:20:06,930 --> 00:20:12,590
the final mousely duel between Prince
Martin and Prince Navi.
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Take the ribbon from your head.
231
00:20:28,030 --> 00:20:30,930
Shake it loose and let it...
232
00:20:30,930 --> 00:20:37,850
Wow. He got
233
00:20:37,850 --> 00:20:39,270
in there, didn't he? He certainly did.
234
00:20:39,470 --> 00:20:41,250
There was some determination in there,
wasn't there?
235
00:20:41,510 --> 00:20:47,190
And so it came to pass that it was the
Prince of Orange who made mouse meat out
236
00:20:47,190 --> 00:20:48,590
of his pathetic rival.
237
00:20:49,350 --> 00:20:56,030
And the magnificent mouse is Valiant
Prince Martin, meaning the lily -livered
238
00:20:56,030 --> 00:20:57,830
loser is Prince Navid.
239
00:20:58,750 --> 00:21:03,150
I've been going to the gym quite a lot
this week, working out the guns, and it
240
00:21:03,150 --> 00:21:04,150
really paid off.
241
00:21:06,090 --> 00:21:07,470
I flattened the guy, Navid.
242
00:21:08,950 --> 00:21:11,930
So I don't think there's anyone to stop
me now. I really do think I'm going to
243
00:21:11,930 --> 00:21:12,930
win.
244
00:21:13,270 --> 00:21:18,510
So glory be to the winning mice men,
Prince Martin, Prince Aram.
245
00:21:18,970 --> 00:21:24,750
and Prince Ben, who now pass safely into
the next round of this contest of love.
246
00:21:25,770 --> 00:21:30,590
But for the other three spineless
princely losers, it is time for Dad to
247
00:21:30,590 --> 00:21:33,750
which of them should be cast into the
moat of rejection.
248
00:21:35,070 --> 00:21:38,930
Okay, well, you got any more to say
about any of them before I make my
249
00:21:39,150 --> 00:21:40,590
Because I need to have a little bit to
think about it myself.
250
00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:46,840
I think that out of those three, I quite
like Naveed. He looks like a great guy.
251
00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:50,880
I think looks -wise, Charlie seems to be
more my type.
252
00:21:51,460 --> 00:21:54,320
I think Jordan's a bit short for me.
Yeah, Jordan.
253
00:21:55,100 --> 00:21:56,100
He's well -muscled.
254
00:21:56,320 --> 00:22:00,200
I love wearing heels when I go out, so I
wouldn't really want someone shorter
255
00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:01,200
than me.
256
00:22:02,300 --> 00:22:08,120
And so it was time for Dad to choose
which princely loser to lose.
257
00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:18,360
Tell you something, if that king thinks
that I'm not a man, he's mistaken. I'm
258
00:22:18,360 --> 00:22:21,760
the only man in the competition, mate.
I'm not a mouse, I'm a man. All man, the
259
00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:23,340
buff man, and you should remember that.
260
00:22:23,540 --> 00:22:29,020
Jordan was eliminated today, and I am
glad he has gone, because he was weak,
261
00:22:29,020 --> 00:22:32,520
was not brave, and was certainly of
insufficient stature for my daughter.
262
00:22:37,680 --> 00:22:40,800
So Prince Buff Daddy was gone.
263
00:22:41,450 --> 00:22:46,690
But the question in the minds of the
remaining princes was, what qualities
264
00:22:46,690 --> 00:22:50,050
they need to impress this most difficult
of dads?
265
00:22:51,130 --> 00:22:56,010
I think my dad would find me a good
prince personality -wise. I don't know
266
00:22:56,010 --> 00:22:58,350
his idea of good looks are on a guy.
267
00:22:59,130 --> 00:23:00,750
Tattoos don't do much for me.
268
00:23:01,150 --> 00:23:05,720
Piercings. Not at all. I can cope with
maybe a single earring. Basically, I
269
00:23:05,720 --> 00:23:10,200
think my dad would like to see me with a
guy that's quite intelligent, got good
270
00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:16,620
aspirations in life, quite good
-looking, just so that we have nice
271
00:23:16,620 --> 00:23:17,620
we have babies.
272
00:23:19,180 --> 00:23:24,440
The talk of his princess making babies
with one of the princes was not a
273
00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:25,520
that pleased Dad.
274
00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:31,220
But if twere to be done, then best it be
done with a prince of pleasing stock.
275
00:23:32,629 --> 00:23:36,890
Fortunately for Dad, there was a magical
mirror in the castle that could reveal
276
00:23:36,890 --> 00:23:41,610
what the fruits of a union between the
princes and his little princess might
277
00:23:47,070 --> 00:23:49,230
Mirror, let's see Prince Number One.
278
00:23:52,530 --> 00:23:53,530
Prince Martin.
279
00:23:54,210 --> 00:23:55,510
He's quite nice -looking.
280
00:23:55,970 --> 00:23:58,530
I'd quite like to see what our kids
would look like, yeah. OK.
281
00:23:59,170 --> 00:24:01,730
Mirror, can we see Prince Martin's baby,
please?
282
00:24:02,250 --> 00:24:07,610
Upon his command, the magical mirror
flew forward in time to reveal the
283
00:24:07,610 --> 00:24:10,810
child of Prince Martin and Princess
Nicky.
284
00:24:13,390 --> 00:24:14,610
The mouth's okay.
285
00:24:15,210 --> 00:24:16,210
I don't know about that.
286
00:24:16,310 --> 00:24:18,710
The nose is a bit funny. A bit funny?
287
00:24:18,990 --> 00:24:20,650
It can't look like it's been squashed.
288
00:24:21,790 --> 00:24:25,450
One ear's bigger than the other. It
shows you the next prince. Yeah, let's
289
00:24:25,450 --> 00:24:26,450
quickly.
290
00:24:28,650 --> 00:24:30,150
So this is Prince Aram.
291
00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:32,760
Mirra, can we see this princess baby,
please?
292
00:24:39,300 --> 00:24:40,340
Quite cool hair.
293
00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:43,200
Yes, I don't think it is cool about it.
294
00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:47,300
It's got quite a round face, but a
pointed chin.
295
00:24:47,720 --> 00:24:49,660
Yeah, it would have to do with those
eyebrows.
296
00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:51,780
I don't think I'd want this baby.
297
00:24:52,180 --> 00:24:53,760
No, no, nor me.
298
00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:56,500
OK, Mirra, the next prince, please.
299
00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:02,320
The V.
300
00:25:02,340 --> 00:25:03,340
Oh. Okay.
301
00:25:03,720 --> 00:25:04,720
He's quite nice.
302
00:25:05,020 --> 00:25:08,360
Yeah? Yeah. You like this one? Yeah,
he's got cool hair.
303
00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:09,980
Yeah. Nice eyes.
304
00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:13,360
Yeah. Mirror, can we see this prince's
baby, please?
305
00:25:19,460 --> 00:25:23,020
How disappointing.
306
00:25:24,220 --> 00:25:25,920
A hot prince like him.
307
00:25:26,430 --> 00:25:30,750
I was quite excited about, like, my
curly blonde hair and blue eyes getting
308
00:25:30,750 --> 00:25:33,470
mixed with his dark features, but that
is disappointing.
309
00:25:33,850 --> 00:25:37,330
It's like Michael Jackson with long
curly hair.
310
00:25:37,590 --> 00:25:38,589
Yeah.
311
00:25:38,590 --> 00:25:40,230
Mirror, the next prince, please.
312
00:25:43,310 --> 00:25:44,310
Prince Charlie.
313
00:25:44,690 --> 00:25:47,290
He's a very pretty boy. I like the
blonde hair.
314
00:25:47,590 --> 00:25:48,910
I'm not sure about the style.
315
00:25:49,410 --> 00:25:50,690
Oh, it's quite funky.
316
00:25:50,990 --> 00:25:53,530
OK. Mirror, Prince Charlie's baby,
please.
317
00:26:00,899 --> 00:26:05,800
Wow. Oh, I'm actually quite impressed. I
like this one. Those eyes, wow.
318
00:26:06,120 --> 00:26:07,820
Yeah, I like... Hair.
319
00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:10,800
Yeah. Nice eyebrows, nice eyes. Yeah.
320
00:26:11,100 --> 00:26:14,060
So you'd be happy pushing that baby
around the park, wouldn't you, for all
321
00:26:14,060 --> 00:26:19,420
see? Yeah, I mean, this little boy looks
a little bit girly, but it's not too
322
00:26:19,420 --> 00:26:22,240
much of a problem. I wouldn't mind
taking him around the park.
323
00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:24,840
OK. Mirror at the next prince, please.
324
00:26:28,060 --> 00:26:29,060
Prince Ben.
325
00:26:29,450 --> 00:26:31,810
Mirror, can we see this prince's baby,
please?
326
00:26:35,650 --> 00:26:40,790
Oh, no, not amazing at all. No, no.
327
00:26:41,110 --> 00:26:42,290
Oh, goodness me.
328
00:26:42,570 --> 00:26:45,550
It's weird ears, weird eyes, weird nose.
329
00:26:45,850 --> 00:26:47,750
Might find her a role in The Ring thing.
330
00:26:48,070 --> 00:26:50,590
Oh, yeah, like Lord of the Rings. Lord
of the Rings, yeah, yeah. Maybe.
331
00:26:50,890 --> 00:26:51,890
She'd definitely get into that.
332
00:26:52,050 --> 00:26:55,110
But I wouldn't be too happy with this.
No, no, no, I agree.
333
00:26:55,390 --> 00:26:58,790
OK, so which two babies do you think you
leased?
334
00:26:59,020 --> 00:27:05,820
I think I least liked the Goblin Girl,
the baby of Prince Ben, or Prince Aram,
335
00:27:05,980 --> 00:27:07,020
Chubby Tops.
336
00:27:07,300 --> 00:27:08,300
I agree.
337
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:14,860
And so, armed with the knowledge of the
magical mirror, Dad Pat could now
338
00:27:14,860 --> 00:27:19,960
prevent his beloved daughter walking
down at least one of these princely
339
00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:25,460
The boy is very timid.
340
00:27:26,010 --> 00:27:30,770
In his nature. And I'm afraid I'm a
sizey as well. I do like to feed boys
341
00:27:30,770 --> 00:27:31,770
are reasonably fit.
342
00:27:32,210 --> 00:27:34,850
I've got a bit of an aversion to
overweight boys.
343
00:27:35,490 --> 00:27:36,990
Because I know they shouldn't be that
way.
344
00:27:38,810 --> 00:27:41,170
Quite disappointed, to be honest with
you, that I'm eliminating.
345
00:27:41,390 --> 00:27:46,770
Because regardless of how our babies
would look, I would have treated her so
346
00:27:46,770 --> 00:27:48,870
well that she wouldn't want to let me
go.
347
00:27:55,760 --> 00:28:00,120
Prince Saram's quest for love was over
for another week. But for the remaining
348
00:28:00,120 --> 00:28:05,920
four princes, it was just about to enter
a new, far more terrifying stage.
349
00:28:06,480 --> 00:28:08,000
Good morning, boys.
350
00:28:11,120 --> 00:28:11,760
Welcome
351
00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:19,860
back
352
00:28:19,860 --> 00:28:21,140
to My Little Princess.
353
00:28:21,580 --> 00:28:25,040
Just four princes are left in this
contest of love.
354
00:28:25,550 --> 00:28:30,310
But there is one prince in particular
whose rugged good looks has caught the
355
00:28:30,310 --> 00:28:31,430
of the princess.
356
00:28:31,870 --> 00:28:35,190
He was part prince, part wild beast.
357
00:28:35,650 --> 00:28:38,050
Twas Prince Martin, the manimal.
358
00:28:40,610 --> 00:28:44,410
Girls, they're always in a herd. You
know, when you get the odd one, he will
359
00:28:44,410 --> 00:28:45,229
drift away.
360
00:28:45,230 --> 00:28:48,610
I'd seem as though I was a bit of a
lion, waiting the distance in the long
361
00:28:48,610 --> 00:28:49,610
grass.
362
00:28:49,679 --> 00:28:52,420
Basically, tea girls, I get that feeling
like they're a bit of meat, I just want
363
00:28:52,420 --> 00:28:55,520
to bite into them. You know, all lads
get that as well. I think I get that
364
00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:56,640
than the average person.
365
00:28:56,880 --> 00:28:59,500
So I wait till they're on their own, and
then dive a little.
366
00:29:04,220 --> 00:29:08,320
Prince Martin the manimal was not the
only beast in the kingdom of my little
367
00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:09,320
princess.
368
00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:14,960
For there was also another curious
animal, known simply as the gift horse.
369
00:29:17,620 --> 00:29:24,470
Good morning. boys this incredible
talking horse has but one purpose
370
00:29:24,470 --> 00:29:31,310
in life to see if our princes really
know what women want the fiendish filly
371
00:29:31,310 --> 00:29:37,970
will offer each prince two possible
gifts one is greatly desired by the
372
00:29:37,970 --> 00:29:44,970
the other is not if they choose wisely
they will get to give their gifts to the
373
00:29:44,970 --> 00:29:46,550
princess however
374
00:29:47,480 --> 00:29:53,160
If they guess incorrectly, they will
fall from the stable into the latrine of
375
00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:57,700
lament, otherwise known as the gift
horse lavie.
376
00:29:58,300 --> 00:30:00,940
You don't want that, do you?
377
00:30:01,360 --> 00:30:08,060
It was a fate all the princes were keen
to avoid, as the mighty stallion spoke.
378
00:30:09,620 --> 00:30:15,640
Now then, imagine if you will, you're
taking the princess out for a spot of
379
00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:16,640
pizza, right?
380
00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:19,020
But what topping would she prefer?
381
00:30:19,940 --> 00:30:22,880
Hot and spicy pepperoni?
382
00:30:23,800 --> 00:30:26,040
Or ham and pineapple?
383
00:30:27,960 --> 00:30:34,380
Each of the princes ponder this cuisine.
If they can get into the mind of the
384
00:30:34,380 --> 00:30:41,340
princess, all will be good. If not,
their fate will be not so good.
385
00:30:43,560 --> 00:30:44,560
Hot pig.
386
00:30:46,010 --> 00:30:47,010
Ham and pineapple.
387
00:30:47,310 --> 00:30:49,330
I'm going to go with ham and pineapple.
388
00:30:50,310 --> 00:30:54,110
I'd say hot and spicy pepperoni. I'm
going to say the hot spice.
389
00:30:55,230 --> 00:31:01,790
I can tell you, the princess loves
nothing more than a
390
00:31:01,790 --> 00:31:07,690
pizza covered in hot and spicy
pepperoni.
391
00:31:31,050 --> 00:31:32,050
Fuck's sake!
392
00:31:32,470 --> 00:31:37,690
I'd like to order a pepperoni hot and
spicy pizza. I like the idea of getting
393
00:31:37,690 --> 00:31:39,290
hot and spicy with a guy.
394
00:31:42,890 --> 00:31:47,670
Rubbish Prince Ben and Prince Charlie
failed to win a single gift for the
395
00:31:47,670 --> 00:31:48,670
princess.
396
00:31:48,810 --> 00:31:54,770
So just Prince Navid and Prince Martin
now remain, as the gift horse offers up
397
00:31:54,770 --> 00:31:55,970
his next gift.
398
00:31:56,750 --> 00:32:01,830
Now, you won't believe this, but
apparently the princess has a very
399
00:32:01,830 --> 00:32:07,590
palate. Tell me, which of these dishes
would she prefer to eat?
400
00:32:08,710 --> 00:32:10,970
Grasshoppers or trial?
401
00:32:11,550 --> 00:32:13,270
Would you believe it?
402
00:32:13,630 --> 00:32:17,510
The producer's looking at me now. I
digress.
403
00:32:19,080 --> 00:32:22,800
The princes must consider what kind of
princess this is.
404
00:32:23,160 --> 00:32:28,160
One that likes to nibble on insects, or
one that likes a bit of animal stomach
405
00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:29,840
in her stomach.
406
00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:35,880
Hmm.
407
00:32:36,340 --> 00:32:40,160
A bowl of tripe. I'm going to go for the
bowl of grasshoppers.
408
00:32:43,080 --> 00:32:44,080
Right, boys.
409
00:32:44,120 --> 00:32:46,440
Both of you can't be right, OK?
410
00:32:48,590 --> 00:32:50,790
But one of you is for the draw.
411
00:32:51,230 --> 00:32:56,030
I can tell you that the princess fancies
412
00:32:56,030 --> 00:33:01,290
grasshoppers.
413
00:33:04,330 --> 00:33:07,870
Every rose has its thorn.
414
00:33:09,490 --> 00:33:14,730
Just like every night has its dawn.
415
00:33:20,840 --> 00:33:24,100
An animal that I'd absolutely love to
eat would be a grasshopper.
416
00:33:24,600 --> 00:33:28,140
I've tried them in Mexico before. They
had all different flavours and they're
417
00:33:28,140 --> 00:33:29,140
quite crunchy and nice.
418
00:33:29,700 --> 00:33:34,780
So Prince Navid leaves with just a
single hot and spicy pepperoni pizza.
419
00:33:35,040 --> 00:33:37,300
That will probably be cold by now.
420
00:33:38,200 --> 00:33:42,440
Meaning the most compatible prince of
all was Prince Martin.
421
00:33:42,800 --> 00:33:48,000
The question is, could he win one more
horsey gift for Dad's beloved daughter?
422
00:33:49,300 --> 00:33:50,300
Now then.
423
00:33:50,400 --> 00:33:57,320
The princess loves a good soap, don't we
all? But what is her favourite? Is
424
00:33:57,320 --> 00:34:01,560
it EastEnders or Coronation Street?
425
00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:06,180
Coronation Street or EastEnders?
426
00:34:07,560 --> 00:34:09,699
EastEnders or Amidale?
427
00:34:09,920 --> 00:34:14,679
Just kidding. Coronation Street or
EastEnders?
428
00:34:17,239 --> 00:34:18,239
EastEnders.
429
00:34:22,280 --> 00:34:27,159
I can reveal that the princess likes
430
00:34:27,159 --> 00:34:29,699
Coronation Street.
431
00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:38,179
For a soap I would hate to watch is
EastEnders. It really annoys me
432
00:34:38,179 --> 00:34:42,940
with their accents and how over
-dramatised it is, and I really don't
433
00:34:42,940 --> 00:34:43,918
soap.
434
00:34:43,920 --> 00:34:50,139
So Prince Martin wins two gifts for the
princess and a free pass into the next
435
00:34:50,139 --> 00:34:51,280
princely showdown.
436
00:34:52,370 --> 00:34:57,570
Back in the castle of love, Dad Pat must
now choose which of the other princely
437
00:34:57,570 --> 00:35:01,630
rejects impressed him the least of all
in this horsey challenge.
438
00:35:02,530 --> 00:35:06,050
So it's obviously Ben or Charlie, as
they both went out on the first
439
00:35:06,130 --> 00:35:09,510
Yeah. I need to decide which of these
two isn't progressing.
440
00:35:10,190 --> 00:35:13,810
Ben had some saving grace in some of the
other tests. Yeah, he's very tall.
441
00:35:14,190 --> 00:35:15,530
Yeah, he is very tall.
442
00:35:16,350 --> 00:35:18,270
He didn't go for the adventurous answer.
443
00:35:18,590 --> 00:35:21,210
No, he didn't, did he? And yet you would
have thought he might have done that.
444
00:35:21,270 --> 00:35:22,249
Yeah.
445
00:35:22,250 --> 00:35:24,870
Charlie, he played it safe. Well, so he
thought.
446
00:35:25,570 --> 00:35:27,090
Got it badly wrong there, didn't he?
447
00:35:27,370 --> 00:35:28,390
Have you got any preferences?
448
00:35:29,030 --> 00:35:33,410
Well, I think looks -wise, Charlie seems
to be more my type.
449
00:35:33,950 --> 00:35:37,430
OK. So on that level, I'd go for
Charlie. OK.
450
00:35:38,410 --> 00:35:43,810
And so it was time for Dad to throw his
fourth prince into the moat of
451
00:35:43,810 --> 00:35:44,810
rejection.
452
00:35:50,410 --> 00:35:53,970
Obviously, I decided to play it a bit
safe, thinking, oh, the last is
453
00:35:54,050 --> 00:35:57,770
like, the ham and pineapple. Obviously,
she didn't, so I ended up on her.
454
00:35:58,390 --> 00:36:00,430
Getting rid of Ben was an easy decision.
455
00:36:00,730 --> 00:36:04,290
He may have confirmed what I already
thought about him. He's completely
456
00:36:04,290 --> 00:36:07,850
incompatible with my daughter. I don't
care what the king thinks about me,
457
00:36:08,300 --> 00:36:12,200
Having come this far in the competition,
this has really, like, sort of boosted
458
00:36:12,200 --> 00:36:13,360
my confidence for next week.
459
00:36:17,660 --> 00:36:18,660
Fucking hell!
460
00:36:22,480 --> 00:36:26,700
It was clear that Dad would do anything
for his little princess.
461
00:36:27,180 --> 00:36:29,920
But what of the three surviving princes?
462
00:36:30,480 --> 00:36:37,160
Would they be willing to fight for the
right to be this week's Prince Charming?
463
00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:43,820
Would it be the immaculately bearded
one, Prince Naveed the Humble?
464
00:36:45,140 --> 00:36:48,960
I think I have got the whole package.
465
00:36:49,320 --> 00:36:50,440
I'm a funny guy.
466
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:55,380
You can have an intellectual
conversation with me. I'm outgoing.
467
00:36:56,300 --> 00:37:00,720
And, yeah, normally people have a good
time with me.
468
00:37:00,960 --> 00:37:06,280
Or maybe it was the destiny of the one
with the curious hair, Prince Charlie.
469
00:37:07,280 --> 00:37:11,520
I really want to win the date with the
princess because the dad seems like he's
470
00:37:11,520 --> 00:37:15,720
got banter, he seems like a really nice
guy, and maybe his daughter's got the
471
00:37:15,720 --> 00:37:16,720
same qualities.
472
00:37:16,760 --> 00:37:21,900
Or was it to be the rugged ladies' man,
Prince Martin, the manimal?
473
00:37:22,600 --> 00:37:25,780
My confidence increased over the last
few days. A lot of big hitters have gone
474
00:37:25,780 --> 00:37:26,780
out recently.
475
00:37:26,800 --> 00:37:28,520
I don't think there's anyone to stop me
now.
476
00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:34,160
As the sun fell from the sky...
477
00:37:34,460 --> 00:37:37,940
It marked the beginning of the end for
this contest of dadly approval.
478
00:37:38,620 --> 00:37:43,120
But there is still just enough time in
the remains of the day for the
479
00:37:43,120 --> 00:37:45,500
penultimate princely battle.
480
00:37:46,900 --> 00:37:52,440
It would be a battle of courage, a
battle of strength, a battle with
481
00:37:52,440 --> 00:37:53,900
water hoses.
482
00:37:56,160 --> 00:38:01,480
As ever, this watery jewel of death had
but one simple rule.
483
00:38:01,950 --> 00:38:05,610
Whoever falls first will be eliminated
from the competition.
484
00:38:07,490 --> 00:38:11,490
So out of these three boys, Charlie,
Naveed and Martin, who do you want to go
485
00:38:11,490 --> 00:38:17,110
through? Well, at the moment, I'm
favouring Martin and Naveed over
486
00:38:17,110 --> 00:38:19,970
actually am quite keen on the physical
strength of the two boys.
487
00:38:20,190 --> 00:38:22,010
They need to be quite clever in this
game.
488
00:38:22,290 --> 00:38:26,070
Yeah, you could be right. It's a very
difficult test. They do need some
489
00:38:26,070 --> 00:38:29,750
strength. Yeah. Those hosies take some
handling. If they can handle them, they
490
00:38:29,750 --> 00:38:30,750
can probably handle you.
491
00:38:31,530 --> 00:38:38,510
The stage is set, and so with giant
hoses in hand, the prince is waiting
492
00:38:38,510 --> 00:38:43,430
for the sound of the tiny jester's
bugle.
493
00:38:45,390 --> 00:38:52,150
The law of the lake states that whoever
falls first will be cast
494
00:38:52,150 --> 00:38:54,850
out forever from this princely contest.
495
00:38:55,210 --> 00:38:56,790
But who will it be?
496
00:38:59,290 --> 00:39:00,330
It's Prince Charlie.
497
00:39:00,550 --> 00:39:01,710
It was a bit disappointing.
498
00:39:02,930 --> 00:39:08,690
Still, hey -ho, never mind. Let's plough
on, shall we? And see just who will be
499
00:39:08,690 --> 00:39:13,110
the ultimate winner of this watery war
of princely vengeance.
500
00:39:14,550 --> 00:39:16,670
Ah, Prince Martin.
501
00:39:17,070 --> 00:39:18,070
Well done.
502
00:39:19,710 --> 00:39:25,790
And so, for Prince Charlie, the first
prince to fall, his quest for love is
503
00:39:25,790 --> 00:39:27,070
for another week.
504
00:39:28,360 --> 00:39:29,920
I'm so gutted.
505
00:39:30,560 --> 00:39:33,980
I thought I had it, but I didn't. I'm so
annoyed.
506
00:39:34,540 --> 00:39:37,520
And I'm going to come back fighting.
I've got it next week. It's mine.
507
00:39:38,340 --> 00:39:44,860
And so it came to pass that the princely
finalists are Prince Martin the Manimal
508
00:39:44,860 --> 00:39:47,740
and Prince Naveed the Humble.
509
00:39:48,220 --> 00:39:53,340
I told you so. It's between me and
Martin now. Charlie went in the water
510
00:39:53,340 --> 00:39:55,280
determined that I'm going to win this
date.
511
00:39:55,850 --> 00:39:59,110
I'm so happy I'm in the final. I don't
care who I'm against. I'm going to get
512
00:39:59,110 --> 00:40:00,110
the date with the princess.
513
00:40:00,650 --> 00:40:05,090
Just one more trial stands between them
and a date with Princess Nikki.
514
00:40:05,370 --> 00:40:10,230
But which of them will have what they
desire most of all? A happy ending.
515
00:40:18,490 --> 00:40:24,210
Welcome back to My Little Princess,
where our story of love is nearly at a
516
00:40:24,210 --> 00:40:25,210
close.
517
00:40:25,230 --> 00:40:29,630
We began with seven princely young
bucks, but now just two of the main.
518
00:40:30,010 --> 00:40:32,650
Prince Navid and Prince Martin.
519
00:40:34,110 --> 00:40:39,030
On their quest to impress Dan, they have
been catapulted by a wizard.
520
00:40:40,350 --> 00:40:41,990
Cursed by a witch.
521
00:40:44,750 --> 00:40:46,270
Insulted by a princess.
522
00:40:46,810 --> 00:40:49,470
Weird ears, weird eyes, weird nose.
523
00:40:50,870 --> 00:40:53,890
And tortured with electricity and water.
524
00:40:55,720 --> 00:40:58,480
Now just one final challenge remains.
525
00:40:59,580 --> 00:41:03,520
But this time, it won't be Dad Pat doing
the picking.
526
00:41:03,820 --> 00:41:06,700
It will be the princess herself, Nicky.
527
00:41:07,620 --> 00:41:13,320
I love chaps who are confident, but I
hate chaps who are cocky.
528
00:41:13,640 --> 00:41:15,480
And there's a fine line between the two.
529
00:41:15,780 --> 00:41:19,920
But confidence is important, because
Nicky's a confident girl. I think she'd
530
00:41:19,920 --> 00:41:21,760
want to be supported by a confident
chap.
531
00:41:22,280 --> 00:41:27,520
The sort of guy that I would choose to
go for would be good -looking, a very
532
00:41:27,520 --> 00:41:32,680
nice person, very firm, likes adventure,
and has a lot of banter.
533
00:41:34,020 --> 00:41:37,720
It's just between me and Martin now, and
one of us is going to get the date with
534
00:41:37,720 --> 00:41:38,499
the princess.
535
00:41:38,500 --> 00:41:41,340
And it's not going to be Martin, it's
going to be me.
536
00:41:42,740 --> 00:41:43,740
I'm really excited.
537
00:41:43,840 --> 00:41:47,500
I've got a shot at the princess. My
eye's on the target, and I'll get her.
538
00:41:47,500 --> 00:41:48,500
afraid of it.
539
00:41:51,400 --> 00:41:56,340
After all they have gone through, our
princely finalists still know not what
540
00:41:56,340 --> 00:42:00,900
princess looks like. But all will be
revealed to the winner of this final
541
00:42:00,900 --> 00:42:06,820
challenge. The princess must identify
her Prince Charming by whoever she
542
00:42:06,820 --> 00:42:12,340
sings the sweetest. She will not be able
to see her suitors, so will be guided
543
00:42:12,340 --> 00:42:16,600
solely by whose voice melteth her heart
the most.
544
00:42:17,060 --> 00:42:21,680
So if music be the food of love, Sing
on, sweet princes.
545
00:42:49,770 --> 00:42:54,970
Every now and then I get a little bit
terrified And then I see the look in
546
00:42:54,970 --> 00:43:01,530
eyes Turn around, bright eyes Every now
and then I fall apart Turn
547
00:43:01,530 --> 00:43:08,210
around, bright eyes Every now and then I
fall apart And I
548
00:43:08,210 --> 00:43:15,030
need you now tonight And I need you more
than ever And
549
00:43:15,030 --> 00:43:17,190
if you only hold tight
550
00:43:18,210 --> 00:43:24,870
We'll be holding on forever And we'll
only be making it right
551
00:43:24,870 --> 00:43:31,190
Cause we'll never be wrong together We
can take it till the end of the line
552
00:43:31,190 --> 00:43:37,710
Your love is like a shadow on me all of
the time All of the time I don't know
553
00:43:37,710 --> 00:43:42,690
what you're doing, I'm always in the
dark You're living on a powder keg and
554
00:43:42,690 --> 00:43:43,790
giving up smart
555
00:43:57,170 --> 00:44:03,430
The princess, having heard both princely
voices, must now decide whose song of
556
00:44:03,430 --> 00:44:05,610
love has captured her heart.
557
00:44:06,410 --> 00:44:09,410
I've just heard both of the princes
singing their songs.
558
00:44:09,870 --> 00:44:13,730
I really enjoyed the first one. I
thought he had a lot of confidence in
559
00:44:13,730 --> 00:44:18,070
voice. The second prince, I think he had
a lot of passion in his voice.
560
00:44:18,490 --> 00:44:19,490
I enjoyed them both.
561
00:44:20,350 --> 00:44:26,830
So it was time for Princess Nicky to
finally reveal which prince she has
562
00:44:26,830 --> 00:44:29,350
to enter her garden of love.
563
00:44:39,730 --> 00:44:42,970
It's Manimal, Prince Martin.
564
00:44:44,590 --> 00:44:46,690
Careful he doesn't bite you, Nicky.
565
00:44:48,680 --> 00:44:54,120
And so, it was the unique voice of
Prince Martin the Manimal that finally
566
00:44:54,120 --> 00:44:55,540
the heart of Princess Nick.
567
00:44:56,280 --> 00:44:59,520
But what does the princess think about
this beastly prince?
568
00:45:01,700 --> 00:45:06,320
When the gate first opened, I thought,
wow, he's hot. He's the sort of guy I'd
569
00:45:06,320 --> 00:45:07,320
go for. I was really happy.
570
00:45:08,100 --> 00:45:11,260
When the gate opened, I was really,
really happy with what was in front of
571
00:45:11,300 --> 00:45:16,000
Lovely blonde hair, massive blue eyes,
really nice white smile, really nice
572
00:45:16,000 --> 00:45:18,690
boobs. And a really beautiful figure.
Perfect.
573
00:45:19,330 --> 00:45:23,130
The face definitely lived up to the
voice. I'm really glad I chose him. I'm
574
00:45:23,130 --> 00:45:24,490
really looking forward to getting to
know him.
575
00:45:24,730 --> 00:45:26,230
I'm really happy that I picked Martin.
576
00:45:27,270 --> 00:45:30,550
And so the seeds of love were sown.
577
00:45:31,210 --> 00:45:35,930
Only time will tell whether the flowers
of romance will bloom or not.
578
00:45:36,370 --> 00:45:37,830
But what of Dad Pat?
579
00:45:38,190 --> 00:45:41,630
What did he think of Princess Nicky's
Prince Charming?
580
00:45:42,490 --> 00:45:44,450
I'm really very pleased with Nicky's
choice.
581
00:45:44,870 --> 00:45:49,110
It was actually my choice from quite
early on, although I did give the other
582
00:45:49,110 --> 00:45:53,950
boys every chance to redeem their early
failings. But Martin really was my
583
00:45:53,950 --> 00:45:57,490
number one choice from the beginning,
and when she chose him, I couldn't be a
584
00:45:57,490 --> 00:45:58,490
happier man.
585
00:45:58,570 --> 00:46:03,830
So they have Dad's seal of approval, but
this is just the beginning of their
586
00:46:03,830 --> 00:46:04,910
fairy tale romance.
587
00:46:06,230 --> 00:46:10,010
Will Prince Manimal win the heart of
Dad's little princess?
588
00:46:10,670 --> 00:46:15,730
And will they live happily ever after?
Well, that's another story.
589
00:46:18,770 --> 00:46:21,510
Next time on My Little Princess.
590
00:46:24,150 --> 00:46:28,610
I am here to prove to the father that I
am the worthy prince for his princess.
591
00:46:32,750 --> 00:46:36,850
I am 92 % certain that I didn't look at
the Chester region.
592
00:46:41,700 --> 00:46:42,940
It's got a lot of pacing.
593
00:46:43,220 --> 00:46:45,200
I don't think it needs anything on this
deck.
52727
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