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All language subtitles for The Parkers s04e11 Lights, Camera, Action

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,850 --> 00:00:04,990 Hey, y 'all. Hey. 2 00:00:05,290 --> 00:00:08,990 Guess who's going to be catering the hot new sitcom, We Ain't Friends. 3 00:00:09,670 --> 00:00:10,810 Can you give us a hint? 4 00:00:12,470 --> 00:00:13,470 Me, Kim. 5 00:00:14,390 --> 00:00:15,510 Can you give us another? 6 00:00:17,110 --> 00:00:20,850 You know, I love that show, but it's so hard to believe it's New York City, and 7 00:00:20,850 --> 00:00:22,450 yet you never see one white person. 8 00:00:23,970 --> 00:00:26,690 Who cares? That show has a flyer on TV. 9 00:00:27,150 --> 00:00:28,150 How'd you hook that up? 10 00:00:28,290 --> 00:00:32,290 That food critic who reviewed my cooking at Endell's recommended me. 11 00:00:33,070 --> 00:00:34,070 Oh, you know what that means? 12 00:00:34,430 --> 00:00:39,170 Yeah, it means if all goes well, I'll have a steady job and pay off our credit 13 00:00:39,170 --> 00:00:40,009 card debt. 14 00:00:40,010 --> 00:00:42,690 Who cares about all that? You can get me an acting job. 15 00:00:43,370 --> 00:00:44,370 You're hired. 16 00:00:44,490 --> 00:00:47,490 You can act like my assistant and help me serve the food. 17 00:00:47,750 --> 00:00:49,130 Uh -uh, I do that at home. 18 00:00:50,450 --> 00:00:51,530 Hey, boo. 19 00:00:52,810 --> 00:00:55,150 I got a job catering. We ain't friends. 20 00:00:55,630 --> 00:00:59,230 Aren't you happy for me? Well, if it means you'll be working long days and 21 00:00:59,230 --> 00:01:00,810 longer nights, I'll be... 22 00:01:01,050 --> 00:01:06,750 at it don't worry boo you can come visit me on the set on that show please 23 00:01:06,750 --> 00:01:13,690 sitcoms are a mindless lowbrow drivel that insults my intelligence drivel 24 00:01:13,690 --> 00:01:20,010 what makes it funny yeah and that lamar short is sexy oh whatever i just wish 25 00:01:20,010 --> 00:01:21,990 he'd give that sleazy dalala the boot 26 00:01:22,979 --> 00:01:27,000 What? Are you crazy? What man in his right mind would give up a woman like 27 00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:31,580 Delilah? You know, the one who makes me sick is that psycho Vanika. Never 28 00:01:31,580 --> 00:01:32,580 watched it, huh? 29 00:02:57,550 --> 00:02:59,190 That spinach and lamb was divine. 30 00:02:59,970 --> 00:03:03,450 Oh, thank you, Basil, but it was collard greens and oxtails. 31 00:03:04,810 --> 00:03:10,570 Basil, I hate to ask a favor on my first day, but my daughter Kim, she would 32 00:03:10,570 --> 00:03:12,150 love to be an extra on the show. 33 00:03:12,670 --> 00:03:16,810 And since you're the director, I was wondering... You know what? As long as 34 00:03:16,810 --> 00:03:19,650 keep these tasty meals coming, your daughter's got a job. 35 00:03:21,850 --> 00:03:22,850 Oh, 36 00:03:23,490 --> 00:03:24,590 they're going to have fun no more. 37 00:03:24,850 --> 00:03:26,050 Girl, let's go watch a scene. 38 00:03:27,340 --> 00:03:28,340 How do I look? 39 00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:30,320 Desperate, lonely, and horny. Good. Let's roll. 40 00:03:33,900 --> 00:03:34,900 Okay. Ready? 41 00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:39,080 And... Action! 42 00:03:42,540 --> 00:03:46,340 Lamar, baby, you've been gone so long. I missed you. 43 00:03:46,940 --> 00:03:48,320 All I did was take out the trash. 44 00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:03,800 you scuzzy psycho. 45 00:04:05,180 --> 00:04:06,220 Was that Vanika? 46 00:04:06,540 --> 00:04:07,920 No, your mama. 47 00:04:10,460 --> 00:04:13,580 That'll teach you not to RSVP at the last minute. Okay. 48 00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:15,600 Okay. 49 00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:18,399 You're the greatest, baby. 50 00:04:21,060 --> 00:04:22,060 And cut. 51 00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:24,160 Makeout. 52 00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:28,780 She sucked off all my lip gloss. 53 00:04:29,780 --> 00:04:32,140 So, you stole my eyelashes yesterday. 54 00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:34,060 I told you I had a date. 55 00:04:35,260 --> 00:04:39,920 Make sure it is MAC lip gloss number 11. It gives me those pouty dewy lips. 56 00:05:00,490 --> 00:05:02,510 Believe you got me an acting job on We Ain't Friends. 57 00:05:02,930 --> 00:05:03,930 I'm going to be a star. 58 00:05:04,770 --> 00:05:06,210 Now, slow your roll, baby. 59 00:05:06,430 --> 00:05:08,450 Now, you were hired to be in the background. 60 00:05:08,890 --> 00:05:10,830 So do just what the director says. 61 00:05:11,110 --> 00:05:12,470 Understood? Understood. 62 00:05:12,850 --> 00:05:14,330 All right. Now go break a leg. 63 00:05:14,750 --> 00:05:17,010 I said I understood. You don't have to be so mean. 64 00:05:17,510 --> 00:05:19,190 All actors on the set, please. 65 00:05:19,710 --> 00:05:20,710 Actors. 66 00:05:48,300 --> 00:05:52,960 supposed to look into the camera but how will the people know it's me they're 67 00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:56,920 not supposed to know it's you you're playing a waitress now please take your 68 00:05:56,920 --> 00:06:02,940 mark and don't look into the camera again and background 69 00:06:02,940 --> 00:06:09,900 and action lamar where are you the guests are already here 70 00:06:09,900 --> 00:06:12,520 i can't talk to these people 71 00:06:29,580 --> 00:06:30,760 to make sure the star was served. 72 00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:33,160 Did I tell you to serve the star? 73 00:06:33,620 --> 00:06:34,820 No, I'm acting. 74 00:06:35,280 --> 00:06:38,780 Look, the only reason I'm putting up with you is because of your mama's pig's 75 00:06:38,780 --> 00:06:42,720 feet. Mama may have a couple of hammer toes, but I wouldn't exactly call them 76 00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:43,720 pig's feet. 77 00:06:44,020 --> 00:06:45,740 You know what, everybody, let's decide. Let's take five. 78 00:06:47,180 --> 00:06:49,580 Is Monika ready yet? We can't find her. 79 00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:51,080 Check the bar on the corner. 80 00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:04,020 Well, I just wanted to support you in your professional endeavors. 81 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:07,020 Oh, boo, I knew you'd come around. 82 00:07:07,540 --> 00:07:12,560 I know in my heart we're soulmates, and if you just... There's Delilah. See you 83 00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:15,220 later. Okay, boo, I'll fix you a plate. 84 00:07:18,220 --> 00:07:20,820 Girl, I'm famished. Is it soup yet? 85 00:07:21,220 --> 00:07:22,220 It sure is. 86 00:07:23,260 --> 00:07:26,240 Can I just say, you put your foot in those pig's feet, girlfriend. 87 00:07:28,060 --> 00:07:30,370 Do you know how to make... pork chops smothered in gravy? 88 00:07:30,830 --> 00:07:33,830 Don't I look like I know how to make pork chops smothered in gravy? 89 00:07:34,430 --> 00:07:39,590 You sure do, beautiful. If I was into women, I'd be all over you. Because a 90 00:07:39,590 --> 00:07:41,410 skinny woman couldn't do a thing for me. 91 00:07:41,770 --> 00:07:44,430 Personally, I think skinny women are evil. 92 00:07:44,950 --> 00:07:45,950 Okay. 93 00:07:47,230 --> 00:07:48,250 All right, sister. 94 00:07:48,630 --> 00:07:55,530 Excuse me, Mrs. Johnson. 95 00:07:55,810 --> 00:07:56,810 Yes? 96 00:07:57,600 --> 00:08:02,840 I'm Stanley Ogilvie, Professor Stanley Ogilvie, and I just wanted to say that 97 00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:05,500 you are an incredible actress. 98 00:08:06,220 --> 00:08:07,680 Yes, I am, aren't I? 99 00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:11,540 Now tell me how pretty I am. 100 00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:14,720 Well, 101 00:08:15,500 --> 00:08:19,580 you do have the most mesmerizing eyes I've ever seen. 102 00:08:20,220 --> 00:08:22,640 And don't they go great with my new cheekbones? 103 00:08:24,460 --> 00:08:24,879 Oh, yes. 104 00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:26,640 They're very angular. 105 00:08:27,300 --> 00:08:28,300 Thank you. 106 00:08:28,540 --> 00:08:32,280 Why don't we chat over juice, and you can tell me what else you like about me. 107 00:08:34,020 --> 00:08:35,020 Okay. 108 00:08:39,580 --> 00:08:45,080 You know, Basil, I wasn't feeling that last scene. The jokes weren't funny, and 109 00:08:45,080 --> 00:08:47,260 the ending wasn't working for me. How about you? 110 00:08:48,180 --> 00:08:49,180 Who are you? 111 00:08:50,300 --> 00:08:53,280 Adele Wilkerson, restaurant owner slash comedy writer. 112 00:08:56,430 --> 00:08:57,650 to get me fired. 113 00:08:58,350 --> 00:09:02,230 Now, why don't you make yourself useful and help me find my boo? The professor's 114 00:09:02,230 --> 00:09:04,070 here? Yes. He came by to visit me. 115 00:09:04,310 --> 00:09:05,310 Was he drunk? 116 00:09:06,510 --> 00:09:08,890 He said it was time he supported me in my work. 117 00:09:09,770 --> 00:09:10,810 Are you drunk? 118 00:09:12,370 --> 00:09:13,390 Forget you, Wendell. 119 00:09:13,950 --> 00:09:14,950 Wait a minute. 120 00:09:15,810 --> 00:09:16,810 I hear my boo. 121 00:09:22,670 --> 00:09:24,350 We have actors on set, please. 122 00:09:25,190 --> 00:09:26,370 Vanika, are you ready? 123 00:09:28,110 --> 00:09:29,110 I am, no? 124 00:09:31,090 --> 00:09:32,550 Well, enough about me. 125 00:09:33,250 --> 00:09:34,250 Who am I kidding? 126 00:09:34,470 --> 00:09:35,870 It's never enough about me. 127 00:09:37,230 --> 00:09:38,430 Let's go, Delilah. 128 00:09:38,810 --> 00:09:41,550 Okay. How about a good luck kiss? 129 00:09:42,190 --> 00:09:43,190 All righty. 130 00:10:22,380 --> 00:10:25,320 Put your crusty lip on my man again. 131 00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:28,560 Baby, trust me. I will snap you in half. 132 00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:29,840 Do you understand? 133 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:33,740 Who do you think you're talking to? 134 00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:35,080 I'm the star. 135 00:10:35,300 --> 00:10:37,260 You ain't nothing but a greasy fry cook. 136 00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:41,180 Oh, I got you, fry cook. 137 00:10:41,380 --> 00:10:47,500 I love it. You do? 138 00:10:47,940 --> 00:10:51,700 Oh, yeah, Nikki. You're exactly what this show needs. Now the scene has 139 00:10:52,190 --> 00:10:53,970 You like her? 140 00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:24,980 playing Vanika, America's favorite stalker. 141 00:11:25,680 --> 00:11:29,520 Me either. But, you know, for some reason, I can relate to that character. 142 00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:33,080 Thanks. Thanks, guys, for helping me out. 143 00:11:33,460 --> 00:11:38,840 You know, Nikki, the only thing I know about catering is... nothing. No, I know 144 00:11:38,840 --> 00:11:40,020 absolutely nothing about catering. 145 00:11:40,580 --> 00:11:43,660 Don't worry, Stevie. Now, I cooked enough food to last all day long. 146 00:11:43,880 --> 00:11:47,040 Now I have to go practice my lines with Adele. I'll check on y 'all later. 147 00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:53,040 Hey, sweet thing. 148 00:11:53,300 --> 00:11:54,600 Loved you on last week's show. 149 00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:58,100 Listen, I have some new ideas for your character soon. Why don't you let me 150 00:11:58,100 --> 00:11:59,100 you out to dinner with me? 151 00:11:59,980 --> 00:12:01,040 Okay, I'll call you. 152 00:12:02,860 --> 00:12:06,300 Yeah, way to go, mister. My Mac is whack. I got you, didn't I? 153 00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:12,120 And now, thanks for running lines with me. 154 00:12:12,340 --> 00:12:15,080 Okay, but just remember me when you get your Soul Train Award. 155 00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:17,120 Okay, here goes. 156 00:12:18,240 --> 00:12:20,280 Can't you see he doesn't want you? 157 00:12:23,980 --> 00:12:25,020 I 158 00:13:06,839 --> 00:13:07,900 50 bucks a day. 159 00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:47,280 What'd you get me? 160 00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:49,120 Well, it's big. 161 00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:56,400 Hello? 162 00:13:56,800 --> 00:13:57,840 Hey, Jacqueline. 163 00:13:58,700 --> 00:13:59,700 Guess what? 164 00:13:59,840 --> 00:14:01,520 I'm back to no we ain't friends. 165 00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:03,540 Did you know Lamar is... 166 00:14:31,470 --> 00:14:32,470 The food is all gone. 167 00:14:32,610 --> 00:14:33,770 What did you find in the back? 168 00:14:33,990 --> 00:14:36,230 Some dusty cans of famine from marshmallows. 169 00:14:37,050 --> 00:14:39,210 Spam and marshmallow sandwiches coming up. 170 00:14:42,830 --> 00:14:44,250 Hey, how you doing? 171 00:14:45,030 --> 00:14:46,050 Fine, thank you. 172 00:14:46,250 --> 00:14:47,250 Yeah, I can see that. 173 00:14:47,730 --> 00:14:50,090 You ever think about acting? I'm the producer here. 174 00:14:50,750 --> 00:14:52,510 Really? So am I. 175 00:14:53,610 --> 00:14:57,270 You must be the daytime producer because I'm the night shift producer. 176 00:14:58,130 --> 00:15:00,330 I'm Dawn Stewart, executive producer. 177 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:02,620 Now tell me, what do you really do? 178 00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:05,080 Uh, well, I help out with the food, ma 'am. 179 00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:07,360 Can I get you a plate? 180 00:15:15,380 --> 00:15:16,780 And action! 181 00:15:17,420 --> 00:15:19,200 I want you out of my house. 182 00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:20,720 Now! 183 00:15:40,750 --> 00:15:43,850 Now, don't think about the words. Just feel them. 184 00:15:44,610 --> 00:15:45,650 Okay, got it. 185 00:15:46,130 --> 00:15:49,550 Okay. And... Action! 186 00:15:50,010 --> 00:15:52,530 I want you out of my house now. 187 00:15:53,630 --> 00:15:54,630 Aye. 188 00:15:56,110 --> 00:15:57,110 Aye. 189 00:15:57,990 --> 00:15:59,450 Aye. Aye. 190 00:16:00,950 --> 00:16:02,630 Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut. 191 00:16:04,610 --> 00:16:09,090 Sorry, Basil, but you told me not to think about the words. 192 00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:10,940 But you still have to remember them. 193 00:16:11,800 --> 00:16:12,940 Can I make a suggestion? 194 00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:14,319 You again? 195 00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:18,020 Yeah, if you want the same kind of passion you saw yesterday, there's only 196 00:16:18,020 --> 00:16:19,020 way you can get it. 197 00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:21,040 Okay, I'll sleep with you. 198 00:16:22,300 --> 00:16:28,540 All right, but first... So, 199 00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:30,960 Delilah really wants to see me again? 200 00:16:31,180 --> 00:16:34,940 Yeah, she says she can't go on without you. What do you do to these women? 201 00:16:35,020 --> 00:16:36,960 you know, I just kind of... I don't want to know. 202 00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:42,360 When Adele brings him over, just start flirting and kissing. 203 00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:46,440 Are you sure I'm going to be safe? Because I don't think she likes me. 204 00:16:47,420 --> 00:16:50,620 Don't worry about that. No, no, I'll yell cut before it goes too far. And 205 00:16:50,620 --> 00:16:53,280 to be on the safe side, I've got armed security here. 206 00:16:56,980 --> 00:16:58,660 Okay, here he is. 207 00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:01,340 Thank you so much for coming. 208 00:17:01,580 --> 00:17:03,580 I couldn't stop thinking about you, Sam. 209 00:17:03,820 --> 00:17:04,820 I mean, Sam. 210 00:17:09,319 --> 00:17:10,980 I dreamt about you all night. 211 00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:13,220 I couldn't get you off my mind. 212 00:17:14,060 --> 00:17:15,099 Kiss me, Stanley. 213 00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:16,520 Kiss me hard. 214 00:17:16,859 --> 00:17:17,940 All righty. 215 00:17:20,420 --> 00:17:21,420 Action. 216 00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:32,200 Now, I told you to stay away from my man. Now, you brought this beat down on 217 00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:34,520 yourself. He doesn't want you, okay? 218 00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:36,080 Oh, this is great. 219 00:17:36,330 --> 00:17:37,330 It's going to win me my Emmy. 220 00:17:37,490 --> 00:17:38,750 Better yet, your image award. 221 00:18:26,540 --> 00:18:28,500 By what? The Pittsburgh Steelers? 222 00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:31,660 Did I do that? Yeah. 223 00:18:33,580 --> 00:18:34,980 Oh, that too? 224 00:18:35,360 --> 00:18:36,360 Yep. 225 00:18:38,300 --> 00:18:40,260 Basil, it'll never happen again. 226 00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:42,180 Oh, you got that right. 227 00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:43,540 Because you're fired. 228 00:18:44,120 --> 00:18:46,740 You can't fire my mama. She's the thoth. 229 00:18:47,120 --> 00:18:49,220 You. What are you doing back here? 230 00:18:49,460 --> 00:18:51,540 I thought you might need someone to play Delilah. 231 00:18:52,380 --> 00:18:55,680 Delilah? I wouldn't have you play Lassie. Oh. 232 00:19:00,780 --> 00:19:03,800 you do this to me? I could have been Mr. 233 00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:05,040 Delilah Johnson. 234 00:19:33,580 --> 00:19:34,580 happy, Miss Parker? 235 00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:40,680 It says here that the show had to shut down while Delilah recovers. 236 00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:42,019 Uh -huh. 237 00:19:42,020 --> 00:19:45,400 It... It doesn't say anything about a lawsuit, does it? 238 00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:48,440 No. 239 00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:51,440 But the authorities haven't returned my call. 240 00:19:54,300 --> 00:19:55,500 You're so crazy. 241 00:19:56,940 --> 00:19:57,940 No! 242 00:19:59,360 --> 00:20:03,000 You're the crazy one. And if you come within three feet of me, 243 00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:04,760 have you arrested. 244 00:20:05,540 --> 00:20:08,140 Oh, role play. 245 00:20:08,820 --> 00:20:10,460 Okay, you can be the cop. 17183