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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,840 --> 00:00:03,420 Oh, I can't wait for the Valentine's Day groove next week. 2 00:00:03,880 --> 00:00:08,020 Well, Turtle Dove, when it comes to you, every day is Valentine's Day. Oh, that 3 00:00:08,020 --> 00:00:10,400 is so romantic. 4 00:00:11,120 --> 00:00:12,120 And how would you know? 5 00:00:14,180 --> 00:00:17,360 Look, if it weren't for your Playboy subscription, you wouldn't have a woman. 6 00:00:20,420 --> 00:00:21,420 For me? 7 00:00:24,900 --> 00:00:27,280 Thinking of you, your secret admirer. 8 00:00:27,540 --> 00:00:28,820 Oh, that's so sweet. 9 00:00:29,450 --> 00:00:31,530 But why did you sign it, your secret admirer? 10 00:00:31,930 --> 00:00:33,530 Uh, that's a secret. 11 00:00:33,890 --> 00:00:34,890 Oh. 12 00:00:36,230 --> 00:00:37,290 Hey, y 'all. 13 00:00:37,990 --> 00:00:39,390 Oh, your nails are beautiful. 14 00:00:39,690 --> 00:00:42,090 Yeah, my secret admirer sent them to me. 15 00:00:43,350 --> 00:00:48,470 Hey, Professor Ogilvy. Miss Parker, I need to speak with you. Of course I'll 16 00:00:48,470 --> 00:00:49,570 your date on V -Day. 17 00:00:50,090 --> 00:00:51,550 That would make it D -Day. 18 00:00:52,810 --> 00:00:54,710 Now, you've gone too far this time. 19 00:00:55,510 --> 00:00:57,030 I'm driving on Sunset. 20 00:00:57,440 --> 00:01:01,800 and I see a billboard with your face plastered on it, asking me to be your 21 00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:06,700 valentine. Then you humiliate me with that insane singing telegram in front of 22 00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:07,700 my whole class. 23 00:01:08,180 --> 00:01:09,180 Don't worry, boo. 24 00:01:09,460 --> 00:01:10,680 There's more coming. 25 00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:56,260 crazy self to me. 26 00:01:56,640 --> 00:01:58,860 Yeah, I'm just tripping. Gotta be. 27 00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:03,380 Oh, Professor, you are so crazy. 28 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:06,120 Mama, what are you doing? 29 00:02:06,780 --> 00:02:07,780 Yes, baby. 30 00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:09,539 Now, can't you see Mama's on a date? 31 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:13,000 Kids. 32 00:02:15,460 --> 00:02:18,060 I'm telling you, she's gone off the deep end. 33 00:02:18,300 --> 00:02:20,200 Please, she lives in the deep end. 34 00:02:20,620 --> 00:02:23,420 No, this is serious. She's dating dolls now. 35 00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:24,680 What? 36 00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:28,090 Time for a good old -fashioned intervention. 37 00:02:28,610 --> 00:02:30,270 Is that anything like a beat down? 38 00:02:32,110 --> 00:02:35,610 No. It's when you confront her with her problem and suggest she gets help. 39 00:02:35,830 --> 00:02:37,030 And then we beat her down. 40 00:02:38,430 --> 00:02:40,050 Kim, just get Nikki out of here. 41 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:04,340 Now, I need to be prepared for when my boo pops the question. 42 00:03:04,660 --> 00:03:07,940 And it's going to be which psych award should they put you in, A or B? 43 00:03:10,260 --> 00:03:11,760 Mama, you need help. 44 00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:16,080 I don't need any help. Yes, you do. 45 00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:22,720 You know, Nikki, if you did, the Student Union offers an unhealthy love support 46 00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:23,720 group. 47 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:25,520 Not that your love is unhealthy. 48 00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:29,280 Anyway, it's called the LSL group. 49 00:03:29,610 --> 00:03:35,810 stands for lopsided lovers and they um they meet twice a week at seven trying 50 00:03:35,810 --> 00:03:42,150 find them on the rebound now huh oh is that so wrong why 51 00:03:42,150 --> 00:03:46,450 don't you just go and check it out yeah just go one time and we won't bug you 52 00:03:46,450 --> 00:03:51,550 about it anymore i'll even go with you yeah fine i'll go just once to get y 53 00:03:51,550 --> 00:03:56,610 off my back great but i'm telling you right now it's a waste of my time 54 00:03:56,610 --> 00:03:57,610 i 55 00:03:59,660 --> 00:04:03,140 Now, if you'll excuse me, my boo want to spend some quiet time with me. 56 00:04:10,380 --> 00:04:13,240 I told you, I don't have any problems. 57 00:04:13,780 --> 00:04:18,480 My man loves me. You don't have a man. You have an overgrown kin doll. 58 00:04:20,339 --> 00:04:23,760 Well, I'd like to welcome everyone to Lopsided Lovers. 59 00:04:24,340 --> 00:04:27,360 For those of us who just don't get it. 60 00:04:32,650 --> 00:04:36,730 We all know that Valentine's Day is the hardest time of the year for us. Well, 61 00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:43,270 along with birthdays, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Friday nights. 62 00:04:45,670 --> 00:04:49,590 Well, I think you get my point. So let's be extra careful out there. 63 00:04:49,870 --> 00:04:52,810 Yeah. Now, would anyone like to speak? 64 00:04:55,070 --> 00:04:56,070 Hi, 65 00:04:56,370 --> 00:04:58,150 I'm Mia. I'm a lopsided lover. 66 00:04:58,530 --> 00:04:59,530 Hi, Mia. 67 00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:02,860 I've been a lopsided lover for two months now. 68 00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:06,100 Before LSL, I used to stalk my man. 69 00:05:07,540 --> 00:05:10,240 I mean, the man that I wanted to be my man. 70 00:05:11,020 --> 00:05:13,560 I had a relapse a couple weeks ago. 71 00:05:14,060 --> 00:05:16,320 But I returned my man. 72 00:05:17,300 --> 00:05:19,380 I mean, the man that I wanted to be my man. 73 00:05:21,260 --> 00:05:22,260 Unharmed. 74 00:05:24,380 --> 00:05:25,700 Thank you, Mia. 75 00:05:26,340 --> 00:05:28,380 You are an inspiration to us all. 76 00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:35,320 I'd like to welcome our new members. 77 00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:38,260 Oh, oh, she's the one with the problem. I don't have a man. 78 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:40,640 As a matter of fact, neither does she. 79 00:05:46,580 --> 00:05:47,580 Hi. 80 00:05:48,700 --> 00:05:49,700 I'm Nicky. 81 00:05:50,020 --> 00:05:51,020 Hi, Nicky. 82 00:05:52,420 --> 00:05:53,420 Now, 83 00:05:55,940 --> 00:06:01,040 the only reason I'm here is because my daughter and my friends have lost their 84 00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:02,040 minds. 85 00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:07,520 problems like you all have. I'm not a lopsided loser like y 'all. 86 00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:10,120 Well, 87 00:06:10,820 --> 00:06:14,480 since you don't have a problem, you won't mind answering a few questions. 88 00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:17,400 Sure. Does this person ever call you? 89 00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:23,420 He did the other day. He called on her in his class. 90 00:06:24,900 --> 00:06:27,180 Has he ever asked you out on a date? 91 00:06:27,700 --> 00:06:32,540 Has he ever given you a gift? 92 00:06:34,890 --> 00:06:35,890 That he knew of? 93 00:06:36,670 --> 00:06:39,210 Yes, he did. I think you know the answer to that. 94 00:06:39,850 --> 00:06:42,410 Well, does he treat you like a queen? 95 00:06:43,950 --> 00:06:46,010 Has he ever said that he can't live without you? 96 00:06:47,750 --> 00:06:50,770 Well, what was the last thing he said to you? 97 00:06:51,530 --> 00:06:53,070 Wasn't it, get away from me, you psycho? 98 00:06:57,370 --> 00:06:58,370 Nikki? 99 00:07:07,950 --> 00:07:10,930 My name is Nikki, and I'm a lopsided lover. 100 00:07:11,950 --> 00:07:18,890 Oh, man, 101 00:07:19,090 --> 00:07:20,230 you're really going all out for Kim. 102 00:07:20,930 --> 00:07:22,050 Flowers, gifts, candy. 103 00:07:22,470 --> 00:07:23,810 You're starting to make your brother look bad. 104 00:07:24,770 --> 00:07:25,770 I got a confession. 105 00:07:27,130 --> 00:07:29,350 I haven't been sending Kim all of those gifts. 106 00:07:29,710 --> 00:07:32,050 I mean, not that I wouldn't if I wasn't so short on cash. 107 00:07:32,650 --> 00:07:34,750 Oh, you better come clean. You're going to get caught. 108 00:07:35,070 --> 00:07:36,070 I ain't, T. 109 00:07:36,210 --> 00:07:37,330 How can I get caught? 110 00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:39,580 They're from a secret admirer. 111 00:07:39,980 --> 00:07:40,980 Secret. 112 00:07:43,060 --> 00:07:45,120 All righty then. Play on, player. 113 00:07:46,180 --> 00:07:48,320 Well done yourself, honey bunny. 114 00:07:48,620 --> 00:07:50,760 I love my new bracelet. 115 00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:52,880 I knew silver was your favorite. 116 00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:54,520 Silver? It's gold. 117 00:07:56,220 --> 00:07:57,220 Gotcha. 118 00:07:59,020 --> 00:08:00,300 I've got to be strong. 119 00:08:00,760 --> 00:08:02,100 I've got to be strong. 120 00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:54,800 Man is back. 121 00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:58,180 Sherelle, why are you still in here? I thought you were in Paris. 122 00:08:58,540 --> 00:09:00,860 Well, I'm in town showcasing one of my acts. 123 00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:03,220 But you know I had to come check up on my girl. 124 00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:07,540 Oh, I see you got all the stuff I sent you. 125 00:09:08,140 --> 00:09:09,140 You sent? 126 00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:10,920 My boyfriend Aaron sent me this stuff. 127 00:09:12,060 --> 00:09:13,280 Oh, you got a boyfriend now? 128 00:09:13,740 --> 00:09:16,040 Well, after our divorce, I had to move on. 129 00:09:17,260 --> 00:09:20,160 Then why are you wearing those fly Italian boots that I sent you? 130 00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:21,480 What? 131 00:09:24,270 --> 00:09:25,270 Well, I'm not confused. 132 00:09:26,110 --> 00:09:27,710 My heart still belongs to you. 133 00:09:29,010 --> 00:09:30,010 I've missed you. 134 00:09:31,210 --> 00:09:32,250 I've missed your eye. 135 00:09:36,290 --> 00:09:37,470 Weren't they blue when I left? 136 00:09:40,290 --> 00:09:41,290 Look, 137 00:09:42,510 --> 00:09:43,690 things are different now. 138 00:09:43,930 --> 00:09:45,550 I told you I have a boyfriend. 139 00:09:45,970 --> 00:09:47,590 When you and I had, it's over. 140 00:09:51,870 --> 00:09:52,749 Oh, really? 141 00:09:52,750 --> 00:09:53,750 Yeah. 142 00:09:55,069 --> 00:10:00,410 Does your boyfriend hold you like this? 143 00:10:04,010 --> 00:10:08,150 Does he kiss your neck like this? 144 00:10:09,850 --> 00:10:14,850 Does he kiss your lips? 145 00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:35,039 Who's this guy? 146 00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:38,920 What guy? Oh, oh, that's just Jarell, my old ex -husband. You hungry? 147 00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:41,760 Ex -husband? 148 00:10:42,080 --> 00:10:44,280 You never told me anything about an ex -husband. 149 00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:46,680 What, you got any kids I should know about? 150 00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:49,160 I'll let you two work this out. 151 00:10:52,260 --> 00:10:54,020 Aaron, a kiss didn't mean anything. 152 00:10:54,380 --> 00:10:55,800 I guess neither does our relationship. 153 00:10:56,240 --> 00:11:00,900 Oh, no. I haven't seen Jarell in a year. He just showed up and started nibbling 154 00:11:00,900 --> 00:11:01,900 on my neck. 155 00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:04,180 Okay, I guess that makes it okay. 156 00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:07,300 No, I'm not saying that. It just happened. 157 00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:09,840 Unless he tripped and fell on your face. 158 00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:11,680 Stuff like that don't just happen. 159 00:11:12,940 --> 00:11:15,460 Well, neither does taking credit for gifts you didn't send. 160 00:11:19,580 --> 00:11:20,580 Who told you? 161 00:11:20,940 --> 00:11:21,940 Terrell. 162 00:11:23,760 --> 00:11:26,080 Not only is he a homewrecker, he's a tattletale. 163 00:11:28,270 --> 00:11:31,690 Well, you can take back this promise ring that I gave myself to remind me of 164 00:11:31,690 --> 00:11:32,690 you. 165 00:11:33,390 --> 00:11:35,950 Because I don't want to be with anyone who can't keep their promises. 166 00:12:04,479 --> 00:12:07,380 Nikki? I'm at the professor's door and I'm about to go in. Stop. 167 00:12:07,900 --> 00:12:12,020 Take a couple of deep breaths and step away from the door. 168 00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:20,540 Lou, I'm going in. 169 00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:22,440 Nikki, listen to me. 170 00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:24,220 Remember step number three. 171 00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:26,860 Just walk away from the situation. 172 00:12:27,420 --> 00:12:30,240 Walk as long as it takes for you to get over the impulse. 173 00:12:31,780 --> 00:12:32,780 All right. 174 00:12:33,390 --> 00:12:34,390 I can do that 175 00:13:16,110 --> 00:13:17,110 I had to clear my head. 176 00:13:17,450 --> 00:13:19,110 But you've been gone for 12 hours. 177 00:13:19,390 --> 00:13:20,770 Well, I got a big head. 178 00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:23,790 What a long face, buddy. 179 00:13:24,710 --> 00:13:25,810 Jarrell's back in town. 180 00:13:26,430 --> 00:13:28,210 What's that little peanut head boy doing back? 181 00:13:28,490 --> 00:13:29,890 He's not promoting his group. 182 00:13:31,070 --> 00:13:32,750 Oh, and Aaron caught up kissing. 183 00:13:33,410 --> 00:13:35,450 Kim, you didn't. I did. 184 00:13:36,310 --> 00:13:37,850 Mama, I don't know what I was thinking. 185 00:13:38,290 --> 00:13:42,730 It's just when Jarrell kissed me, all these old feelings came rushing back. 186 00:13:43,450 --> 00:13:44,530 I don't know what to do. 187 00:13:45,040 --> 00:13:47,820 Well, baby, there's only one thing to do. 188 00:13:48,100 --> 00:13:49,100 A threesome. 189 00:13:51,900 --> 00:13:52,900 Girl, no. 190 00:13:55,480 --> 00:13:57,320 Just let your heart decide, baby. 191 00:13:57,700 --> 00:13:59,060 But my heart is confused. 192 00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:02,940 True love is never confusing. 193 00:14:03,900 --> 00:14:05,160 You'll know when it's real. 194 00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:06,980 You're right, Mama. 195 00:14:07,700 --> 00:14:08,700 Thank you. 196 00:14:09,220 --> 00:14:11,160 Anytime, Puddin'. Anytime. 197 00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:23,100 Well, I better get ready for my meeting. I'll see you later, baby. 198 00:14:23,420 --> 00:14:24,420 All right. 199 00:14:32,880 --> 00:14:33,880 Hey. 200 00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:37,420 I was wondering if you could come over so we could talk. 201 00:14:38,420 --> 00:14:39,420 Yeah. 202 00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:46,940 Hi. My name is Nikki. 203 00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:48,480 Hi, Nikki. 204 00:14:50,090 --> 00:14:52,430 I had a great talk today with my daughter about love. 205 00:14:52,790 --> 00:14:53,790 Aww. 206 00:14:54,650 --> 00:14:56,890 I told her to follow her heart. 207 00:14:57,410 --> 00:15:01,230 And from now on, I think that's what we should all do. 208 00:15:05,470 --> 00:15:10,390 Stanley Ogilvie is and always will be the man of my dreams. 209 00:15:11,170 --> 00:15:14,770 Even if I don't get him right now, I will never give up. 210 00:15:15,090 --> 00:15:15,989 Preach, Nikki. 211 00:15:15,990 --> 00:15:16,990 Amen. 212 00:15:17,010 --> 00:15:18,830 My grandmother... 213 00:15:19,070 --> 00:15:23,970 She never gave up. And she had two restraining orders against her. But she 214 00:15:23,970 --> 00:15:25,070 got her man. 215 00:15:26,810 --> 00:15:29,810 And I'm gonna get mine. 216 00:15:34,070 --> 00:15:34,969 Nikki's right. 217 00:15:34,970 --> 00:15:37,170 We have been selling ourselves short. 218 00:15:37,950 --> 00:15:39,430 Especially you. 219 00:15:40,330 --> 00:15:42,670 Nia, you should never give up. 220 00:15:43,330 --> 00:15:44,790 I mean, go after that man. 221 00:15:45,170 --> 00:15:47,530 Who wouldn't want to be with somebody as wonderful? 222 00:15:47,900 --> 00:15:49,580 And beautiful as you are. Really? 223 00:15:50,780 --> 00:15:51,780 Yeah, girl. 224 00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:54,680 We're not crazy. Just crazy in love. 225 00:15:56,880 --> 00:15:58,060 Nikki, please. Hush. 226 00:15:58,640 --> 00:15:59,640 Get back. 227 00:16:00,600 --> 00:16:06,440 Nikki, I want all of you to attend the Valentine's Day dance here at the 228 00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:11,220 Union. And if you can't bring the love of your life, then bring the blow -up 229 00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:12,220 doll of your life. 230 00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:32,800 Thanks for inviting me over. 231 00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:34,280 Thank you for coming. 232 00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:36,220 Oh, thank you. 233 00:16:40,380 --> 00:16:46,300 Listen, Jarell, I just want to let you know that I made a mistake by kissing 234 00:16:46,300 --> 00:16:47,300 back. 235 00:16:48,060 --> 00:16:50,180 Yeah, yeah, I know. 236 00:16:50,420 --> 00:16:53,020 You know, I never should have kissed you in the first place. 237 00:16:54,300 --> 00:16:58,780 It's just, I feel like the love that we had will always be the same between us. 238 00:17:00,970 --> 00:17:02,930 You will always have a special place in my heart. 239 00:17:03,870 --> 00:17:06,210 You will always be my first sex husband. 240 00:17:08,230 --> 00:17:09,890 But Aaron's my man now. 241 00:17:11,430 --> 00:17:13,130 Well, I guess that's my cue to bounce, huh? 242 00:17:20,369 --> 00:17:21,369 Bye, snickerdoodle. 243 00:17:57,550 --> 00:17:58,570 You haven't talked to Aaron? 244 00:17:59,750 --> 00:18:02,330 No. I think we're broken up for real. 245 00:18:03,310 --> 00:18:06,690 Men make me sick. I don't know why we bother when we know that every single 246 00:18:06,690 --> 00:18:07,870 time... Hey, don't worry. 247 00:18:08,130 --> 00:18:09,770 You can always get a blow -up doll. 248 00:18:17,590 --> 00:18:18,590 Hey, boo. 249 00:18:20,530 --> 00:18:22,050 I see you didn't bring a date. 250 00:18:22,770 --> 00:18:27,680 No, I figured why put myself or another innocent woman through all the... Pain 251 00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:28,680 and suffering. 252 00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:32,100 Of course I'll save you the last dance. 253 00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:37,720 Want to dance? 254 00:18:39,500 --> 00:18:40,500 Yeah. 255 00:18:46,580 --> 00:18:48,640 Jarrell found me and explained everything that happened. 256 00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:51,040 I'm sorry. I heard you love muffins. 257 00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:53,000 I'm sorry. I took credit for all that stuff. 258 00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:55,700 You know, if I had the money, I'd buy you the whole world. 259 00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:57,960 Then where would everybody else live? 260 00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:00,400 Good boy. 261 00:19:00,580 --> 00:19:04,560 I love you, Snuggle Buck. Oh, I love you, my little cough truck. 262 00:19:19,980 --> 00:19:20,980 Hey, Boo. 263 00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:23,000 I saved this dance for you. 264 00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:26,340 Get away from me, you psycho. 265 00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:29,220 That's music to my ears. 266 00:19:34,120 --> 00:19:39,520 Everyone, grab your sweethearts and enjoy the sounds of Ericta recording 267 00:19:39,740 --> 00:19:41,200 Kenny Lattimore. 268 00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:45,620 This 269 00:19:45,620 --> 00:19:52,500 song goes 270 00:19:52,500 --> 00:19:53,920 out to all the lovers in the house. 271 00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:09,200 Thank you. 272 00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:00,820 Please, she slipped. 273 00:21:01,660 --> 00:21:02,660 Really? 274 00:21:03,740 --> 00:21:05,380 When my boo pops the question. 18939