All language subtitles for The Parkers s03e11 Secret Santa

Five, four, three, two...

Hey, boo.

For me, you shouldn't have.

I didn't.

This package was left at my door, but it
has your name on it.

Oh, well, you know the mail.

Wait, boo.

Are you coming to my tree -trimming
party?

Uh, no, no, no. I'm coming down with
something.

It's not until Christmas Eve, and that's
next week.

Then I'll be sick until Christmas Day.

Give you any ideas?

I need to go water my plants.

But you can't ski.

But I can, lookie.

Well, hold on.

You guys are going to Mr. Tree Trimming
Party.

It's our tradition, baby.

Mama, please don't make me feel guilty
for wanting to have fun before I get old

and corny like you.

Okay.

I'm sorry.

Go on ahead and have fun, baby. Thanks,
Mama.

You know what that outfit needs?

I've got just the perfect thing.

Mama's rabbit cup.

a couple of more times, you might end up
with a decent leather coat.

Girl, just go get me the crazy glue.

Mama, why don't you go down to Randall's
and use my employee discount to get you

a new coat?

Eh, I guess it is time for me to retire
old Peter Rabbit, huh?

Oh, look at you.

Going scared, you like?

Yeah. But while you're freezing your
butt off in the snow, I'm... I'll be

tanning mine on a white sandy beach in
Jamaica.

And don't tell me you're not going to be
at the party either.

Okay, but you'll probably figure it out
when you don't see me there.

What is wrong with everybody this year?

Now, we always have a true trimming
party.

That was before I got a $50 plane ticket
to Jamaica.

Now, where's that sarong I loaned you?

What sarong?

The one from Gucci.

Um, see, the one Mama's using as a
Christmas tree skirt?

That's a $300 Gucci saran. I can't
believe you used it on your little funky

dried -up tree.

After I ripped it, I just figured you
wouldn't want it anymore.

Just for that, I'm keeping those
earrings I bought you for Christmas. And

glad I'm not coming to your stupid
Christmas party.

Not choking.

I'm sorry.

Oh, you look mighty nice in that coat,
young lady.

Thanks.

Now, for this price, this rabbit better
be Bugs Bunny.

It's Christmas Eve. Go on, treat
yourself.

My daughter would look so cute in this
coat.

I can get myself a rabbit next year.
They're cheaper after Easter anyway.

That's sweet of you.

Well, that's what Christmas is all
about.

You'd be surprised how many people
forget that.

True. That is so true.

Well, nice talking to you. Merry
Christmas. Yeah, Merry Christmas to you

to be spreading joy with your singing?
Not when she's trying to push up on my

future boyfriend.

Okay, what about Erin?

Can't a girl have a backup plan? A
backup plan? You're hitting on

that breathes.

You're such a drama queen.

Ma 'am, are you going to buy the
perfume?

I beg your pardon?

Uh, security?

It's a sample, you moron.

Oh, my bad. This smells good, though.

You're coming with me. What's up?

We're going to take a little trip to a
place I like to call Security Town.

I saw you trying to steal the shoe.

Steal it?

I was just trying it on.

Save it, all right? We have you on our
surveillance cameras?

I didn't do anything.

Tell it to the feds, all right? Man, you
tripping on Christmas Eve. Yeah, you're

going to be in on the trip.

Where are my manners? Would you like
some?

I'm going to take that bed and shove it
down your throat. You sorry? Excuse for

Santa. Just for that, Santa's crossing
you off his list.

Where are you going?

To the North Pole. Santa's out of
Hennessy.

precious come here baby you know

santa used to be shy just like you but
one day santa's mama

said santa don't you know there's no one
in the world more special than you and

at that moment i knew there was no
reason for me to ever be shy again now

santa what you want for christmas

I'm sorry, baby, but, uh, Tennessee's
just fiance and laundry, right?

Here, suck on this till I get back.

Wouldn't this fit her better?

Excuse me?

Hey, boo.

Ho, ho, ho.

That's it.

Now you've gone too far.

Desecrating the sanctity of Santa.

The other Santa was an obnoxious drunk.
Just stop it.

Now you ruined Christmas for me forever.

I'll never be able to look at Santa
again.

Don't be mad, boo.

Get out of my way.

Hey, little girl.

Have you been naughty or nice?

I've been nice. But I'm about to get
buckwild.

wearing any pillows girl that's all you
attention all randall

shoppers randall's will be closing in 15
minutes merry christmas and thank you

for shopping at randall i better hurry
back and get to the kids yeah i gotta go

too because i gotta pay for this leopard
thong i have on

hey uh waltz heard you were looking for
me

yeah uh fred said to have All of the
security guys turn in their uniforms at

customer service window.

Oh, good.

Because I'm about to get my Christmas
on. Oh, so you've got big plans.

Oh, yeah. See, I'm going to be hitting
the slopes with some fine snow bunnies.

Then I'm going skiing.

You know what I mean?

Well, what about your family?

I guess you don't know what I mean.

Huh?

Hey, what are you guys doing here? The
store's closed.

Walter told me and Kim to turn in our
costumes here.

Yeah, he told me the same thing.

This old security guard with a hacking
cough told me to come up here and pick

a free gift certificate.

That same guy told me to come up here
and get free gift wrapping.

You don't have to wrap my gift, boo.

Well, this is obviously some sort of
joke. I've got better things to do on

Christmas Eve.

You got a date?

Oh, you're just mean.

Well, I have a plan to catch, so Merry
Christmas, y 'all.

All right, y 'all, don't panic. I got my
keys.

Yeah.

They don't work. Now you can panic.

Somebody help, I can't breathe.

I can't breathe.

Somebody do something. I can't spend my
whole Christmas Eve in a department

store. I got shopping to do.

This one's locked, too.

I don't understand.

I never had a problem with these keys
before.

If I'm not getting my freak on with some
cute cabana boy at 12 hours, somebody

gonna pay.

Now, first things first.

We need to get some light up in here.

I can't see my boo.

Then why is your hand on my butt?

Because it makes me happy.

Tim and Stevie, light those candles.

Wait, hey, I know. I'll just set off the
alarm.

Yeah, good idea.

I know this alarm works. We had a drill
like two nights ago.

I can't believe we're stuck.

Oh, come on, guys.

No, it's not that bad.

I mean, at least we're all spending
Christmas Eve together.

Where's the gun department?

Come on, Professor.

Now, as a child, didn't you dream of
being locked in a department store so

could play with all the toys?

Yes, yes, I did.

But my dream didn't include you.

A black Skip and Mindy doll.

Don't they remind you of us?

At least one of us is out of his misery.

Check out my man, G .I. Joe. Remember
him, professor?

Aren't you a little old for dolls?

Yeah, I guess I am.

Yeah, we're all too old for toys.

Unless, of course, they're adult toys.

I know.

Why don't we play Secret Santa?

Hey, that's not a bad idea.

I mean, we are in a department store, so
we can just take whatever we want.

Okay, as long as it's a $5 limit.

I want a budget.

Here, Endell.

Open your gift.

Merry Christmas, Vandell.

It's Gucci.

Just like the other one.

Uh, no. I just said that to make you
feel bad.

Actually, mine was from the Cheryl
Teagues collection.

Prada.

I did good, right?

Hell, yeah. These are $400 shoes.

Hey, for you, money's no object.

All right, who's the cheapskate that got
me the socks?

What, I told you I was on a budget.

Here, Professor, these two are for you.

How did I end up with two gifts?

Yeah, I was your secret Santa.

I'm your own business, Santa.

Open that, boo.

Looks like an engagement ring.

I accept.

I didn't get you an engagement ring, you
fruitcake.

Here, Nikki, open your gifts.

Ken said you needed a new rabbit coat,
but they must have sold the last one,

so... Thanks, Stevie.

See, this didn't turn out so bad after
all.

Oh, yeah, sure. You get a coat, I get
socks.

What difference does it make? We have to
return these things.

Oh, no, I didn't get a receipt.

The professor's right. This whole thing
is stupid.

I mean, those shoes aren't even my size.

Oh, my bad. Maybe I should have gone to
the children's section.

Come on, guys, come on.

Now, let's not let the Grinch steal our
Christmas.

I got it.

Let's put this star on top of the
stool's Christmas tree. Oh, yeah,

fun.

Come on, guys.

Oh, no!

Fire! Fire!

What? Yeah, like we're gonna fall for
that. No, she's right. The tree's on

Marshal T.

What idiot put a candle under the tree?
Yeah.

But it looks so pretty.

This is the worst Christmas ever.

But it doesn't have to be.

I have an idea.

Why don't we sing Christmas carols?
Nobody wants to sing those stinking

Christmas carols. Yeah, she's right.
Now, will you just back off and let us

wallow in peace?

That...

and giving, but it's obvious that you
all have forgotten about that.

Now, I don't want to be here on
Christmas Eve either, but I choose to

best of it.

Now, I'll have a merry damn Christmas
even if I have to spend it alone, so

forget y 'all.

You know she's right.

Y 'all just trifling.

She was only trying to make us feel
better.

It's not her fault that we stuck here.

As much as I hate to admit it, I did
have fun in Santa Land.

Yeah, I guess we were just acting like
selfish jerks.

Miss Parker was the only one with the
true Christmas spirit.

Christmas was never big in my house.

Heck, no holiday was big in my house,
so... These past few years have been

really nice, spending the holidays with
people I really love.

And people who love you back.

We wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish
you a Merry Christmas. We wish you a

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Good times we bring to you and your kin.

We wish you a Merry Christmas and a
Happy New Year.

You know, boo.

Don't ruin the moment.

What's going on in here?

Fred. Man, am I glad to see you. We got
locked in here.

Well, lucky for you, I'm making my
rounds.

But why didn't you use your keys?

I tried, but they didn't work.

That old security guard Walter put a
fast one on us.

Walter?

There's no security guard here named
Walter.

Sure there is. He's the one with the bad
cough.

Lady, I've been here over 20 years. I'm
telling you, there's no Walter here.

Okay, this is really creepy.

Well, never mind that.

I'm just glad we got to spend a little
bit of the holiday together.

Now, to you guys, Harry, you won't miss
your trips.

Well, actually, Mama, I've decided that
I'm going to your, I mean, to our annual

tree trimming party.

I can leave for my trip tomorrow.

Yeah, me too, Harry. Yeah, me too.
Tomorrow.

Oh, what about you, boo?

Count me in.

This is the best Christmas ever.

Merry Christmas, Nikki. Well, open it
up.

Wow.

Who is it from?

Oh, you got to be kidding.

You too, Walter.

at the blockers happy holidays