All language subtitles for The Parkers s03e10 Family Ties and Lies

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,450 --> 00:00:11,670 recruiting people for a new TV game show. 2 00:00:11,970 --> 00:00:12,970 Who cares? 3 00:00:13,210 --> 00:00:14,690 You should. They're giving away prizes. 4 00:00:15,230 --> 00:00:16,230 Cash prizes. 5 00:00:16,510 --> 00:00:18,170 Next! That would be us! 6 00:00:18,410 --> 00:00:19,410 Follow me. 7 00:00:23,630 --> 00:00:27,010 this game show about? Well, the name of the show is Family Dirt, and it tests 8 00:00:27,010 --> 00:00:30,030 the strength of family ties by revealing family secrets. 9 00:00:30,490 --> 00:00:33,810 Well, look, go ahead and sign a brother up, because I got a cousin who's a game 10 00:00:33,810 --> 00:00:35,610 show whiz. That sounds promising. 11 00:00:35,930 --> 00:00:38,610 But I'll have to press the buzzer for him, because he'll be kicking in the 12 00:00:38,610 --> 00:00:39,610 straitjacket. 13 00:00:40,770 --> 00:00:43,350 When we do a show called Family Loco, we'll call you. 14 00:00:44,270 --> 00:00:48,370 Well, if it's dirt you want, we have plenty of it in our family. Ah, hush, 15 00:00:48,690 --> 00:00:49,950 Now, family is sacred. 16 00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:52,620 We're not going to air our dirty laundry on national television. 17 00:00:52,820 --> 00:00:56,840 The grand prize is one million dollars. How dirty do you want to get? 18 00:00:57,480 --> 00:00:58,480 Because I got bitches. 19 00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:46,320 than me and the professor rolling around naked in it. 20 00:01:46,580 --> 00:01:48,200 You so nasty. 21 00:01:50,040 --> 00:01:52,160 I'm going to take my share and invest it. 22 00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:55,580 Yep, buy a whole bunch of lotto tickets. 23 00:01:57,740 --> 00:02:00,960 I wonder what's taking Grandma and Grandpa so long to get here. 24 00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:03,840 Uncle Jay, here's the barbecue pit up to his pinto. 25 00:02:04,720 --> 00:02:06,760 I can't wait to see Auntie Rita. 26 00:02:13,450 --> 00:02:16,250 Make sure there's no food out. Uncle Jay will barbecue anything that ain't 27 00:02:16,250 --> 00:02:17,250 moving. 28 00:02:17,690 --> 00:02:20,250 Watch out there now. 29 00:02:22,350 --> 00:02:23,670 That's how my girl's doing. 30 00:02:24,290 --> 00:02:25,290 Hey, Daddy. 31 00:02:25,890 --> 00:02:27,110 Give me some sugar. 32 00:02:28,690 --> 00:02:30,370 Baby. Hey, I'm Rita. 33 00:02:31,530 --> 00:02:33,610 Uncle Jay, how's that barbecue business? 34 00:02:33,830 --> 00:02:36,170 Couldn't be better. You know I'm barbecuing ice cream now. 35 00:02:38,510 --> 00:02:42,550 Well, I'm so excited. I can't wait for the show. I dropped it. everything to be 36 00:02:42,550 --> 00:02:44,790 here. Including that hot iron on my foot. 37 00:02:45,110 --> 00:02:46,970 I was aiming at your head. 38 00:02:47,530 --> 00:02:49,030 You're lucky my eyes are bad. 39 00:02:49,330 --> 00:02:50,330 I wish mine were. 40 00:02:52,690 --> 00:02:54,630 Operator, you know you look good. 41 00:02:54,850 --> 00:02:55,870 What's your secret? 42 00:02:56,390 --> 00:03:02,530 Oh, it's simple. I just eat right, exercise, and sleep with men half my 43 00:03:04,910 --> 00:03:07,870 Oh, when I get as old as you, I'm gonna do the same thing. 44 00:03:08,410 --> 00:03:10,530 What? Sleep with men half your age? 45 00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:12,600 and exercise. 46 00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:20,460 Now, we have to decide who our team leader is going to be. Well, is there 47 00:03:20,460 --> 00:03:21,460 any question? 48 00:03:21,860 --> 00:03:22,759 You're right. 49 00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:23,760 I'll do it. 50 00:03:24,540 --> 00:03:26,960 Well, hold on. I'm the man of this family. 51 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:29,920 Yeah, but Shirley wears the pants in the family. 52 00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:35,420 Oh, and what does your woman wear? Oops, I forgot. You don't have one. 53 00:03:43,210 --> 00:03:45,490 is you pay me back. Wait, would you two stop it? 54 00:03:46,010 --> 00:03:48,050 We need to worry about how we're going to win this thing. 55 00:03:48,270 --> 00:03:50,210 Yeah, because I got big plans with that money. 56 00:03:50,490 --> 00:03:52,950 Mama said she's going to roll around naked in it. 57 00:03:54,470 --> 00:03:57,610 Look, we have more important things to talk about. 58 00:03:57,890 --> 00:03:58,890 I'll go take a dance. 59 00:04:02,810 --> 00:04:04,970 Oh, look at here, look at here. 60 00:04:05,810 --> 00:04:07,710 What's your name, you little sexy sharp rib? 61 00:04:10,550 --> 00:04:11,750 The name's Andell. 62 00:04:12,010 --> 00:04:13,010 Are you kinfolk? 63 00:04:13,360 --> 00:04:14,360 Would you like to be? 64 00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:16,680 Hell no. 65 00:04:17,740 --> 00:04:19,300 See, you don't know who I am. 66 00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:23,960 I'm J. Zell Washington, Jr., owner and proprietor of the one and only J's 67 00:04:23,960 --> 00:04:25,780 Ripshack on Crenshaw and Bunning. 68 00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:27,900 That hole in the wall? 69 00:04:28,160 --> 00:04:29,160 We've expanded. 70 00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:34,320 Didn't the health department shut you down? Only temporary. See, one rat runs 71 00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:36,420 across the county, everybody make a big deal out of it. 72 00:04:38,180 --> 00:04:40,220 Like the inspector ain't never seen a rat before. 73 00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:44,720 alone. She don't want to. 74 00:04:47,160 --> 00:04:48,160 Hey, 75 00:04:49,660 --> 00:04:50,660 boo. 76 00:04:51,520 --> 00:04:54,560 Hey, Ms. Parker. Uh, Kim told me that your family's in town. 77 00:04:54,860 --> 00:04:57,380 You mean, uh, our family. 78 00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:01,780 Yes. Well, I just came by to say hello to your sister, Connie. 79 00:05:02,360 --> 00:05:06,200 Oh, um, uh, Connie's in the bathroom. 80 00:05:06,820 --> 00:05:07,820 Come on in. 81 00:05:08,280 --> 00:05:09,280 Hey, everybody. 82 00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:10,680 Hey, Ms. Shirley. 83 00:05:11,380 --> 00:05:12,380 Mr. George. 84 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:13,520 Hello. 85 00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:16,360 Auntie Rita, and that's my Uncle Jay. Hello. 86 00:05:16,780 --> 00:05:18,860 And this is my fiancé. 87 00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:23,180 I'm not. We know. 88 00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:26,600 Bless you. 89 00:05:27,340 --> 00:05:32,520 So, uh, what brings you all to town? A bon voyage party for Miss Parker? 90 00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:36,220 No, baby, I'm not going anywhere until our honeymoon. 91 00:05:37,460 --> 00:05:40,380 You two remind me of George and me. 92 00:05:40,820 --> 00:05:41,820 Run, man! 93 00:05:47,470 --> 00:05:51,390 as soon as I say hello to Constance. No, Constance isn't here. She and Tiffany 94 00:05:51,390 --> 00:05:52,390 couldn't make it. 95 00:05:54,370 --> 00:05:56,550 You told me she was in the bathroom. 96 00:05:57,370 --> 00:05:59,650 She is at her house. 97 00:06:01,290 --> 00:06:02,550 At San Francisco. 98 00:06:07,310 --> 00:06:08,770 Hey, folks. 99 00:06:08,990 --> 00:06:13,170 We are so glad that you're here. Now, our staff has done some digging and 100 00:06:13,170 --> 00:06:15,430 uncovered some dirt that might surprise you. 101 00:06:15,830 --> 00:06:16,950 I'll catch you in a few. 102 00:06:17,990 --> 00:06:18,990 Oh, Lord Jesus! 103 00:06:21,110 --> 00:06:22,410 Are you all right, Uncle Jay? 104 00:06:22,690 --> 00:06:24,550 I think I had too much Q for breakfast. 105 00:06:25,190 --> 00:06:27,090 I feel a pork headache coming off. 106 00:06:28,610 --> 00:06:31,670 There's just certain parts of the pig you're just not supposed to eat. 107 00:06:32,470 --> 00:06:34,770 Oh, my headache's gone to my belly. 108 00:06:35,190 --> 00:06:36,890 I've got to find me some cascarola. 109 00:06:39,350 --> 00:06:42,490 Now what are we going to do? I don't know, but we better come up with 110 00:06:42,490 --> 00:06:43,630 because I want some money. 111 00:06:48,070 --> 00:06:50,170 Not quite. My uncle's not feeling well. 112 00:06:50,470 --> 00:06:53,290 Oh, you have another family member who could take his place? 113 00:06:54,430 --> 00:06:57,770 Well, you have to have six players or I'm afraid I'm going to have to 114 00:06:57,770 --> 00:06:59,130 you. No, no, wait. 115 00:06:59,570 --> 00:07:03,190 Um, I could call my fiancé. He could be here in 20 minutes. 116 00:07:03,490 --> 00:07:05,430 All right, you've got 20 minutes. 117 00:07:05,950 --> 00:07:07,830 Kim, let me use your phone. Is it low? Kim! 118 00:07:20,330 --> 00:07:21,650 connection. I'm gonna just stand over here. 119 00:07:30,070 --> 00:07:32,490 Hello? Professor, it's me. Don't hang up. 120 00:07:32,790 --> 00:07:33,790 What do you want? 121 00:07:34,550 --> 00:07:38,370 We're at Sunset Studios about to tape Family Dirt, and my Uncle Jay just got 122 00:07:38,370 --> 00:07:40,390 sick. You have to be my fiancé. 123 00:07:40,750 --> 00:07:41,890 Like hell I do. 124 00:07:42,770 --> 00:07:43,990 We could split a million dollars. 125 00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:54,640 That took so long. 126 00:07:58,600 --> 00:07:59,140 Now 127 00:07:59,140 --> 00:08:05,940 the 128 00:08:05,940 --> 00:08:06,940 fun begins. 129 00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:10,240 Each of you will be asked a question, and if answered incorrectly, you must 130 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:11,219 leave the stage. 131 00:08:11,220 --> 00:08:15,140 The family with the one member left standing who answers the question 132 00:08:15,140 --> 00:08:18,820 wins a grand total of one million... 133 00:08:31,470 --> 00:08:34,890 Shirley, lost her, shall we say, virtue. 134 00:08:35,390 --> 00:08:39,490 Well, that's easy. On our wedding night, April 5th, 1959. 135 00:08:41,490 --> 00:08:43,450 Sweet, but wrong. 136 00:08:44,470 --> 00:08:49,390 According to your wife's lifelong friend, Irma Jean, it was September 137 00:08:49,390 --> 00:08:53,010 1958. Well, that can't be. We had just started dating. 138 00:08:54,810 --> 00:08:58,770 George, I'm afraid he can't stick around to hear it. George. 139 00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:19,000 Heather. Wrong. 140 00:09:19,340 --> 00:09:22,460 According to your peeping Tom neighbor, it's your father. 141 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:28,200 He says, for a hairy guy, your dad doesn't look bad in a push -up bra. 142 00:09:30,680 --> 00:09:31,680 Bye -bye. 143 00:09:35,300 --> 00:09:40,680 Professor Ogilvie, is the hair on your future mother -in -law's head real? 144 00:09:42,500 --> 00:09:45,620 Before I answer, I'd like to clear up one thing. 145 00:09:46,270 --> 00:09:52,810 Although I am indeed engaged to that woman. Give your answer, please. This is 146 00:09:52,810 --> 00:09:53,810 half an hour show. 147 00:09:54,690 --> 00:09:57,310 I would have to say yes, then. That is her hair. 148 00:09:58,070 --> 00:10:02,730 Incorrect. I beg your pardon. This is my hair. I got the receipt to prove it. 149 00:11:14,380 --> 00:11:15,380 is adopted. 150 00:12:13,119 --> 00:12:17,300 Wait till I get my hands on Jay. How could he reveal a deep family secret 151 00:12:17,300 --> 00:12:19,940 that? Where'd that coward slip off to? 152 00:12:20,780 --> 00:12:23,980 How can you call him a coward after what you've done? 153 00:12:24,460 --> 00:12:28,780 For 39 years, you haven't had the courage to tell me the truth. 154 00:12:29,220 --> 00:12:31,300 My whole life's been a lie because of you. 155 00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:33,520 Nikki, don't talk to your mother like that. 156 00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:36,000 Oh, according to the show, she's not my mother. 157 00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:39,000 I'm sorry, Nikki. I know how you feel. 158 00:12:39,680 --> 00:12:44,460 Oh. You feel adopted, deceived, and confused, too? Sweetheart, I'm so sorry 159 00:12:44,460 --> 00:12:45,460 found out this way. 160 00:12:46,940 --> 00:12:51,440 Mom, Dad, whoever you are, I can't talk about this right now. 161 00:12:57,440 --> 00:12:59,160 Hey, y 'all. Anybody hungry? 162 00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:01,400 What do you think you're doing? 163 00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:04,620 I was thinking about firing up the bridge so Red and family gets together. 164 00:13:04,900 --> 00:13:08,880 Jay, what possessed you to divulge something so private to complete 165 00:13:09,340 --> 00:13:11,240 I was trying to win a million dollars. 166 00:13:12,580 --> 00:13:15,340 That would have at least eased the pain and helped take some of the sting out of 167 00:13:15,340 --> 00:13:16,340 it. 168 00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:19,280 You knew Nikki was never supposed to find out. 169 00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:21,520 Hold on. 170 00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:23,640 You knew about this too, huh, Rita? 171 00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:28,440 Yes, Nikki, I did. 172 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:32,420 Nick, we should talk about this later when there aren't so many people around. 173 00:13:33,660 --> 00:13:34,660 Why? 174 00:13:34,780 --> 00:13:36,080 There are less people here. 175 00:13:36,590 --> 00:13:37,710 than on national television. 176 00:13:39,710 --> 00:13:42,970 Mama, if it makes you feel any better, the show hasn't even aired yet. 177 00:13:43,310 --> 00:13:44,310 Get away from me. 178 00:13:48,710 --> 00:13:52,990 So if you're not my mother, Shirley, then who is? 179 00:13:54,790 --> 00:13:58,210 Well, they don't reveal that kind of stuff at the adoption agency. 180 00:13:58,950 --> 00:14:02,270 What adoption agency? Oh, that adoption agency. 181 00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:04,510 What's going on here? 182 00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:09,980 Well, Mama, you just asked who your real ma was, and they just finished lying to 183 00:14:09,980 --> 00:14:10,980 you. 184 00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:16,820 Is there anyone here capable of telling me the truth? 185 00:14:23,860 --> 00:14:29,900 The truth is, 186 00:14:30,060 --> 00:14:32,000 I'm your mother. 187 00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:36,490 What? I know I should have told you. I always meant to. 188 00:14:36,790 --> 00:14:38,890 But it just never seemed to be the right time. 189 00:14:40,330 --> 00:14:41,330 Oh. 190 00:14:42,390 --> 00:14:44,930 So the right time was on TV. 191 00:14:45,310 --> 00:14:46,730 Nikki, please, don't. 192 00:14:47,930 --> 00:14:48,930 No, Shirley. 193 00:14:49,290 --> 00:14:50,530 She's got a right to be angry. 194 00:14:52,670 --> 00:14:53,710 I'm so sorry, Nikki. 195 00:14:54,430 --> 00:14:57,510 But you see, my career was just getting started. 196 00:14:59,390 --> 00:15:02,050 And I was on the road all the time. And it was hard. 197 00:15:02,750 --> 00:15:07,630 Really. And it just didn't seem to be the best way to bring a child up. 198 00:15:08,230 --> 00:15:13,410 And we thought it was best for us to keep you, since we never went anywhere. 199 00:15:15,250 --> 00:15:17,210 Oh, you're just going to forget about Cleveland. 200 00:15:21,430 --> 00:15:24,050 I made them promise never to tell you. 201 00:15:26,010 --> 00:15:29,350 So I get to work out for everyone, except me. 202 00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:33,500 Okay, now that we got that cleared up, how about some red? 203 00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:37,040 You know what they say, the family that queues together sticks together. 204 00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:42,720 Sorry, but I don't feel much like a family right now. 205 00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:04,240 Miss Parker, how did you get in my car? 206 00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:05,840 Wasn't I king? 207 00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:10,700 You know, you're lucky you just found out you were adopted. 208 00:16:18,180 --> 00:16:24,420 What a day, huh? 209 00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:27,800 You doing okay? 210 00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:35,880 I just don't understand why no one ever bothered to tell me the truth about my 211 00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:36,880 life. 212 00:16:38,060 --> 00:16:40,920 Did you know that Rita is my real mother? 213 00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:43,720 Really? 214 00:16:44,820 --> 00:16:45,820 What should I do? 215 00:16:50,020 --> 00:16:53,280 Well, you're never going to find the answer just, you know, sitting here in 216 00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:54,280 car. 217 00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:57,220 You need to go back. 218 00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:00,920 Go back and resolve this with your family. 219 00:17:02,860 --> 00:17:07,400 Why can't we just run off, get married, and start a new family? 220 00:17:10,060 --> 00:17:12,400 See, I was trying to be nice to you, Ms. Potter. 221 00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:15,880 And I appreciate it, boo. 222 00:17:18,660 --> 00:17:19,660 Do you smoke? 223 00:17:20,060 --> 00:17:21,060 No. 224 00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:36,400 Hotlink is smoking. 225 00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:38,740 What are you talking about? 226 00:17:39,580 --> 00:17:41,480 I thought the apartment was on fire. 227 00:17:41,940 --> 00:17:46,180 I saw smoke coming from... Uncle Jay brought up his grill to fire up some 228 00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:48,700 Where were you? We were worried about you. 229 00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:53,000 When I saw the smoke, I was worried about you. 230 00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:55,640 So you do still care about us? 231 00:17:56,420 --> 00:17:57,780 Of course I do, Mama. 232 00:17:58,460 --> 00:17:59,600 But y 'all hurt me. 233 00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:01,940 We didn't mean to. 234 00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:04,080 But you did. 235 00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:07,200 How can we make it right? 236 00:18:08,580 --> 00:18:09,580 I don't know. 237 00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:11,400 Q and 5! 238 00:18:16,740 --> 00:18:22,620 Nikki, giving you up was the hardest thing I've ever done. 239 00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:30,380 But the price I paid, missing out on seeing this beautiful, wonderful woman I 240 00:18:30,380 --> 00:18:34,060 know grow up, I'll always regret that. 241 00:18:36,330 --> 00:18:37,330 But please, don't. 242 00:18:37,530 --> 00:18:39,290 Don't hold it against George and Shirley. 243 00:18:40,630 --> 00:18:45,590 See, because what my brother and his wife did was out of love. 244 00:18:47,030 --> 00:18:48,030 Rita's right. 245 00:18:48,510 --> 00:18:53,150 We've always loved you and we always will, Dumplin'. I hope you can find it 246 00:18:53,150 --> 00:18:54,370 your heart to forgive us all. 247 00:18:56,170 --> 00:18:57,170 So do I. 248 00:18:58,530 --> 00:18:59,530 Aw, Grupa! 249 00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:15,920 Right, here you go. 250 00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:18,900 Hey, you put your foot in it this time. 251 00:19:19,140 --> 00:19:20,340 And a big foot, too. 252 00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:23,200 Yeah, it's good. 253 00:19:23,580 --> 00:19:25,680 But not as good as it would be to get my money back. 254 00:19:26,140 --> 00:19:27,400 Will you stop talking about that? 255 00:19:27,900 --> 00:19:30,100 I will, as soon as you pay me. 256 00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:32,240 Okay, fine. 257 00:19:32,300 --> 00:19:33,300 If it'll shut you out. 258 00:19:35,370 --> 00:19:36,370 Here's your damn $10. 259 00:19:39,390 --> 00:19:40,850 What's for dessert? 260 00:19:41,790 --> 00:19:45,510 I was hoping a song from Rita. So was I. 261 00:19:47,370 --> 00:19:48,950 This one's for you, baby. 262 00:19:50,670 --> 00:19:53,850 Love, I found you. 263 00:19:55,950 --> 00:19:58,610 Love, I found you. 264 00:20:00,090 --> 00:20:03,170 After so many loveless years. 265 00:20:10,510 --> 00:20:11,850 Kisses like these. 266 00:20:40,620 --> 00:20:42,860 And I sleep with men half my age. 19277

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