All language subtitles for The Parkers s01e14 Love is a Royal Pain

Okay, come on. Bend it down. Push it.
All right. Feel firm.

Feel my turn. Hey, hey, hey.

I'm working on it. I was just trying to
help you.

You can touch my toes. Touch your toes.
Oh, I can touch my toes now.

Are you guys trying to get back to your
high school way for the reunion?

Nope. We're trying to get back to last
week's way.

So, uh...

Who's your date, Endell?

It's a surprise.

But be prepared to be jealous.

What about you?

Listen, I don't need a man to define me.

I'm taking my baby, Kim.

Mm -hmm. And everybody's gonna think
you're pitiful.

No. Everyone's gonna think I'm pitiful.

Uh -uh. I'm not hanging out with a bunch
of golden girls and grumpy old men.

I'm sorry, Mama. But I might have to
pass on the VH1 where they now party.

Say hi to the geezers for me.

You can go with your two best friends,
lonely and desperate.

Ha, ha.

Just for that, we're jogging five miles.

Five miles?

Let me get my butts passed.

Let's stop and let's go. Come on.

Is there something different about you?

Why, yes.

I lost some weight.

No, that's not it.

Professor, I think I have something that
you really want.

What, an invitation to your going -away
party?

See, I was going to put in a good word
for you with my cousin, Tony Harmon.

Tony of Tony's Hot Ice Jewelry Store?

Ice is running through my veins right
now.

Well, I was there this weekend looking
for a... A birthday gift for Veronica,

diamond studs, two carats, VS1 quality.

Way out of your range, Professor.

Miss Parker, you have no idea what my
range is.

I know you cash your paycheck in a
liquor store.

But I guess you don't care about my 50 %
family discount.

All right, Miss Parker, what do I have
to do?

Just take me to my high school reunion.

Take you as in drop you off?

No. Take me as in walk in with me, dance
with me, take me home.

Then really, take me.

I'd rather take a bullet.

Oh,

well, I see you snagged the professor.

She didn't snag me. I'm here because...
because... Oh, hell, she snagged me.

So where's your date?

Oh, right next to me.

Damn!

Where did you find him?

Oh, the Yellow Pages. Uh -huh.

He's mine until they run my credit card
through.

Oh, how about a drink? Uh, some wine
would be nice.

That sounds good.

He knows what I like.

There's Royal Jackson, Crenshaw's number
one. Ho!

I never could stand that low -down,
jerry -curl -wearing, fine -ass, cat

wannabe.

Didn't you go out with him a few times?

Once, until I found out he was still
dating Debbie Lewis.

Oh, here he comes.

Well, well, well, well, well.

This is Mickey Parker.

Hey, Royal, how you doing?

What can I say? You know how I do it.

Not very well from what I hear.

And if it isn't for Daniel, I see you
got those teeth fixed.

It's Andale, and how would you like me
to fix your teeth?

I did it myself.

Brand new caps.

Ladies and gentlemen, the class of 1980
proudly presents the musical stylists of

the hardest working woman in show
business, Miss Tina Marino.

You smile at it.

When it comes to Diddy Debbie.

Keep it up, and we can fit you for a
hospital gown right now.

And for the record, I'm proud to be a
mother, something you obviously know

nothing about.

Oh, please.

I've got three at home and one on the
way.

As a matter of fact, I'm due next week.

Oh, well, you must be one of those
spoiled housewives. We're working women.

Besides being a mom, I'm CEO of a
Fortune 500 company.

Hi, Mom.

go to law school at night.

So, I go to my man's house at night.

Let me introduce you to my fiancé, Dr.

Stanley Ogilvie.

What?

He's dean of black studies at Harvard.

Excuse me?

And you must know my sister.

She's also a member of the faculty.

No, not at Harvard.

He works at the Seven Ranch.

Miss Parker, can I speak to you for a
minute?

Now?

Being engaged to you was not part of
this deal. This is where I draw the

50 % off of $6 ,000 is how much? How
much?

So before you start drawing the line,
check with me.

Doctor!

Woo -hoo!

Oh, Nicky, I gotta tell you, you raised
a wonderful daughter, and she is a great

dancer, too.

Royal Jackson. Nicky and I dated back in
the day. Yeah, well, it's never too

late to pick up where you left off.

Well, uh, good night.

It was good to see you again, Nicky.

Yeah. You too, Verdell.

That's Endell, you royal ass!

Ooh, I should go too, Mama. Okay, baby.
Drive safe.

I will.

Bye, Ogie.

Miss Parker, please.

Hey, hey.

I paid good money for that man.

Oh, well.

Let's bump and grind, Oval Team.

She looks young.

Activator juice stripping old man.

Activator? You mean he really didn't
have good hair?

Good evening, Mama.

And, Endell, don't you look fetching
today.

Oh, thank you, I think.

What's with the clothes? You got a court
date?

No. Royal says what you wear is a
reflection of you.

Therefore...

something like to tickle my brain. It's
called Atlas Shrugged. You know, Ayn

Rand has a marvelous way of capturing
the capitalist viewpoint and reducing it

to its simplest form.

Yeah.

As Royal says, Noël le court est sprit.

Kim, honey, when did you start speaking
French?

Since Royal's been teaching me. He's
island.

You're right, baby.

Kim, do me a favor.

Go to the store and get me some garbage
bags.

they don't do weird. That means no
kissing, no hugging, no saying I love

Where did you get this freak?

The same school service you got yours.

I want Roy to show Kim his true colors.

We leave him alone with Dina, and he'll
be all over her like whipped cream on a

Sunday. Whipped cream?

Nuh -uh, now that's gonna cost you
extra.

Is Kim in? She stepped out. She'll be
right back. Come on in.

Oh, all right. Thank you very much.

Hi.

I'm Dina.

Hi, Dina. I'm Royal.

Is that like in royalty?

Hey, I guess.

Look, is Nikki home?

No, she's gone for the evening.

Looks like it's just me and you.

What are we gonna do?

Look, I don't know what you're gonna do,
but I'm gonna go right over here and

I'm gonna...

I'm going to sit down and wait for my
girlfriend, Kim.

So you're saying that this means nothing
to you?

Damn.

No,

you know what? I think I better wait in
the car.

It was very nice to meet you. Dina it
was? Yes. Very nice to meet you, Dina.

Thank you very much.

Nikki, give it up. It looks like Roy is
legit.

Or gay.

Look, for my money, anybody who can get
Kim to read a book is a keeper.

Kim, have you seen her?

I can't say I have. T?

Nope, I haven't seen Kim or that old
man.

Look me in the eye. You take one eye,
you take the other. Left or right?

Look into my eyes.

There's a holiday inn. Which holiday
inn?

On Bundy. Room 204. When I snap my
fingers, you'll remember nothing of this

conversation.

and be gone before she gets here. Well,
when she gets here, she'll be leaving

with me. No, she won't, because she does
whatever I tell her to.

Oh, I warned you.

Now, you're messing with the wrong
mother today. What are you going to do,

Nikki? What are you going to do?

Kim is an adult.

She's my child.

Tell me something, Royal.

What does a man who's damn near 50 want
with a 19 -year -old girl?

It's called payback, Nikki. What the
hell are you talking about?

Don't play dumb with me.

I know you convinced Debbie Lewis to
break up with me in high school.

I didn't tell her to break up with you.

I told her you were a two -timing lying
dog.

Yeah, well, we should still be together.

That should be my money, my house on the
Riviera, my picture in the cover of

Jet. I should be her baby daddy.

I should be Mr.

Debbie Lewis instead of Mr.

Paper Plastic.

Let it go.

You a checkout boy?

It's a hard knock life, Nikki.

I want you to join me.

Kim.

Oh, Kim, baby, listen, listen, listen,
listen. Hold on, hold on. All that stuff

you just heard where you say, it's
behind me now, okay?

Now, believe me, I only want to be with
you.

Well, I don't want to be with you.

Oh, come on now, Kim. You heard me.

get yours real soon.

Sooner than you think.

Yeah, well, that doesn't happen to me
anymore, because I'm smarter than that.

If you say so.

Yeah, well, I say so, because I'm royal.
R -O -Y -A -L. Now be gone.

Look, Mickey, I already told you. Oh,
damn.

Stop this show.

We don't need him.

Where you going?

To the mall to find a man.

Oh, well, hold up, baby. Let mama grab a
coat.

Okay.

See, I was going to put in a good word
with you. With who?