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All language subtitles for The Muppet Show s05e24 Gene Kelly

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,639 --> 00:00:09,840 Hi, I'm Brian Henson. 2 00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:14,200 This episode of The Muppet Show stars the legendary dancer, choreographer, 3 00:00:14,340 --> 00:00:16,140 actor, director Gene Kelly. 4 00:00:17,240 --> 00:00:23,360 When Gene was first booked on the show, he said to the writers, I just don't 5 00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:26,760 want to do Singing in the Rain. Well, of course, the writers turned this into a 6 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:29,960 running gag in which the Muppets keep trying to get Gene to do his signature 7 00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:34,220 song. Is Gene excited about doing Singing in the Rain on the show? Well, 8 00:00:34,220 --> 00:00:35,220 doesn't know about it yet. 9 00:00:35,940 --> 00:00:37,600 And finally, in the end... 10 00:00:37,840 --> 00:00:40,520 As usual, the Muppets win out. I'm singing. 11 00:00:43,740 --> 00:00:47,940 There's a great little sketch in this one where Kermit dances full figure, and 12 00:00:47,940 --> 00:00:49,160 you see him head to toe dancing. 13 00:00:49,580 --> 00:00:53,940 The way we did it was the performers doing the arms and legs are standing in 14 00:00:53,940 --> 00:00:58,400 shot in the background, but they're wearing black against a black 15 00:00:58,400 --> 00:00:59,600 it's invisible to the camera. 16 00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:02,900 Here it is, Gene Kelly on The Muppet Show. 17 00:01:07,030 --> 00:01:08,510 Up and down, not sideways. 18 00:01:12,410 --> 00:01:13,410 Who are you? 19 00:01:13,910 --> 00:01:15,030 Well, I'm Gene Kelly. 20 00:01:15,750 --> 00:01:19,190 Did Kermit leave a ticket for me? They didn't have it at the box office. 21 00:01:19,530 --> 00:01:20,530 Gene Kelly? 22 00:01:20,570 --> 00:01:23,990 You don't need a ticket. You're tonight's special guest star. 23 00:01:24,670 --> 00:01:29,210 Oh, gee, there must be some mistake. I wasn't planning to do anything tonight. 24 00:01:29,210 --> 00:01:32,810 thought Kermit invited me over just to watch the show. 25 00:01:33,210 --> 00:01:36,290 No, you're tonight's guest. You're supposed to sing and dance. 26 00:01:36,530 --> 00:01:37,189 Oh, no. 27 00:01:37,190 --> 00:01:40,730 No way. If you invite a guest to dinner, do you expect him to cook? 28 00:01:40,970 --> 00:01:44,150 Is that an offer? We could use a good cook around here. 29 00:01:46,310 --> 00:01:52,150 I don't know who you are, but I love your cooking. 30 00:01:57,360 --> 00:01:59,320 with our very special guest star, Gene. 31 00:03:06,420 --> 00:03:09,700 Hello? He's not home. 32 00:03:22,430 --> 00:03:24,070 Incomparable, Gene Kelly. 33 00:03:25,390 --> 00:03:29,990 Yes, but first, before Gene actually performs for us, we have a... Kermit. 34 00:03:30,970 --> 00:03:31,970 Just a second. 35 00:03:33,110 --> 00:03:34,110 What's up, Gene? 36 00:03:34,310 --> 00:03:35,470 Kermit, you don't understand. 37 00:03:35,950 --> 00:03:38,030 I'm just here to watch the show. 38 00:03:38,630 --> 00:03:43,050 You mean no singing or acting or dancing or starring? 39 00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:45,710 No, I'm just going to be part of the audience. 40 00:03:46,450 --> 00:03:50,350 Well, listen, let me just introduce this number, and then we'll talk about what 41 00:03:50,350 --> 00:03:51,350 you're going to do on the show, huh? 42 00:03:51,450 --> 00:03:55,210 No. I'm just going to sit here and have a great time. 43 00:03:58,730 --> 00:04:04,470 Okay, folks. Well, here all the way from Baffin Bay, the Endangered Species 44 00:04:04,470 --> 00:04:05,470 Chorus Line. 45 00:04:19,170 --> 00:04:20,310 Is that Joe? 46 00:04:23,620 --> 00:04:25,020 Bye. 47 00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:31,460 Bye. Bye. 48 00:04:32,420 --> 00:04:34,380 Bye. Bye. 49 00:05:25,070 --> 00:05:26,070 I love it. 50 00:05:26,990 --> 00:05:29,050 I didn't understand it, but I loved it. 51 00:05:31,910 --> 00:05:36,410 Okay, next on stage, Prince Rudolph and his invisible cheeseburger. 52 00:05:37,870 --> 00:05:38,870 Excuse me. 53 00:05:39,010 --> 00:05:42,170 Have you seen a cheeseburger waiting in the wings? 54 00:05:42,770 --> 00:05:44,130 No. Ah, good. 55 00:05:44,610 --> 00:05:46,150 It's on time for a change. 56 00:05:47,550 --> 00:05:48,549 Hey, Bo. 57 00:05:48,550 --> 00:05:51,270 Yes? You want me to tell you what you'll be doing in the future? 58 00:05:51,530 --> 00:05:52,690 I don't know what I'm doing. 59 00:05:55,660 --> 00:06:00,300 here in my fortune -telling cards that for you, the Seven of Lumps is in the 60 00:06:00,300 --> 00:06:02,900 ascendancy with the beginning of the drowning refrigerator. 61 00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:04,760 What does that mean? 62 00:06:05,220 --> 00:06:06,760 It's the end of the world. 63 00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:11,020 The invisible cheeseburger has lost his voice. 64 00:06:11,720 --> 00:06:14,320 There's nothing left of him but the smell of onions. 65 00:06:15,860 --> 00:06:17,260 It's the end of the world. 66 00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:19,080 Well, it's not that bad. 67 00:06:21,340 --> 00:06:22,780 Everything okay so far, Gene? 68 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:27,070 Oh, come it. You don't know what a... pleasure it is coming to a show and not 69 00:06:27,070 --> 00:06:28,070 having to perform. 70 00:06:28,670 --> 00:06:32,650 Yeah, and you don't know how hard it is to do a show where the guest star 71 00:06:32,650 --> 00:06:33,750 doesn't perform on stage. 72 00:06:34,110 --> 00:06:35,210 Oh, relax, Kermit. 73 00:06:35,470 --> 00:06:37,090 It isn't the end of the world. 74 00:06:37,390 --> 00:06:38,450 Well, don't be too sure. 75 00:06:39,290 --> 00:06:43,390 But if you don't go on, I'll have to, and I can't dance my way out of warm 76 00:06:43,390 --> 00:06:44,710 jello. No problem. 77 00:06:45,030 --> 00:06:46,350 I used to be a dance teacher. 78 00:06:46,890 --> 00:06:49,790 What? Wait a minute. Are you offering to give me a dance lesson? 79 00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:55,100 Of course. In a few minutes, I can have your toes tapping or... In your case, 80 00:06:55,300 --> 00:06:56,500 your flipper's flapping. 81 00:06:57,800 --> 00:06:58,759 That's terrific. 82 00:06:58,760 --> 00:06:59,760 Hey, tell me, Gene. 83 00:07:00,140 --> 00:07:02,980 Tell me, where would you like to give me this dance lesson? 84 00:07:03,260 --> 00:07:04,440 Oh, I don't care. Anywhere at all. 85 00:07:04,700 --> 00:07:07,200 Well, how about right over here? 86 00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:11,280 Right. Now, Kermit, the first thing you've got to remember is to figure 87 00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:20,920 Kermit, 88 00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:22,280 you tricked me. 89 00:07:22,830 --> 00:07:24,850 Uh, well, just sort of a little trick. 90 00:07:25,550 --> 00:07:26,550 Well, okay, then. 91 00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:27,969 Let's do it. 92 00:07:27,970 --> 00:07:29,270 Come on, hop up on the piano. 93 00:07:29,870 --> 00:07:31,230 Okay. Watch this, folks. 94 00:07:31,910 --> 00:07:32,910 Hey! 95 00:07:35,950 --> 00:07:36,869 Follow me. 96 00:07:36,870 --> 00:07:38,750 One, two, three, four. 97 00:07:39,070 --> 00:07:41,450 One, two, three, four. One, two, three. 98 00:07:41,730 --> 00:07:42,730 One, two, three. 99 00:07:42,910 --> 00:07:46,190 La, la, la, la, la, la. La, la, la, la, la, la, la. Well, there. 100 00:07:46,610 --> 00:07:47,830 Gee, I guess I got it. 101 00:08:18,570 --> 00:08:23,310 I wish Gene Kelly would teach me to Charleston. I wish Gene Kelly would 102 00:08:23,310 --> 00:08:24,310 you to Charleston. 103 00:08:27,610 --> 00:08:33,390 Oh, hello, boss. Hey, do you know there's some guy who was sitting over 104 00:08:33,390 --> 00:08:34,390 watching the show? 105 00:08:34,750 --> 00:08:38,650 Oh, that's not some guy. That's Gene Kelly, our guest star. He's one of the 106 00:08:38,650 --> 00:08:40,309 great entertainers of our age. 107 00:08:40,669 --> 00:08:41,509 Oh, good. 108 00:08:41,510 --> 00:08:42,909 I gave him my SpongeBob. 109 00:08:43,990 --> 00:08:45,230 Well, why did you do that? 110 00:08:45,510 --> 00:08:47,350 Well, I'm giving away all my stuff. 111 00:08:47,770 --> 00:08:50,230 Because the world is coming to an end. 112 00:08:52,550 --> 00:08:54,830 Oh, that's silly. 113 00:08:55,170 --> 00:08:57,710 Oh, no, it isn't. I'm worried sick. 114 00:08:58,250 --> 00:08:59,229 Oh, good. 115 00:08:59,230 --> 00:09:01,910 Come with us. We need a sick person for Vets Hospital. 116 00:09:03,310 --> 00:09:04,310 Okay. 117 00:09:07,610 --> 00:09:10,570 Oh, Bo, thanks again for the sponge mop. 118 00:09:14,350 --> 00:09:16,910 And now, Veterinarians Hospital. 119 00:09:17,630 --> 00:09:22,730 The continuing story of a quack who's gone to the dogs. 120 00:09:23,510 --> 00:09:25,750 So who's this patient, Nurse Janice? 121 00:09:26,090 --> 00:09:27,470 It's Bo, Dr. Bob. 122 00:09:27,830 --> 00:09:29,510 Bo, the one that lost the sheep? 123 00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:32,830 No, no, no, not Bo Peep. Bo the stagehand. 124 00:09:33,150 --> 00:09:34,970 Oh, the one who lost his marbles. 125 00:09:36,310 --> 00:09:38,550 Hey, that's not nicey -nicey. 126 00:09:38,810 --> 00:09:41,670 No, it's not very funny -funny either. 127 00:09:42,070 --> 00:09:45,830 No, it isn't. Were you calling the patient, stupid Dr. 128 00:09:46,050 --> 00:09:47,050 Bob? 129 00:09:50,730 --> 00:09:51,369 Stupid Dr. 130 00:09:51,370 --> 00:09:53,770 Bob. I like the first way better. 131 00:09:55,030 --> 00:09:59,770 Me too. I just came here to tell you that the world is going to come to an 132 00:10:00,050 --> 00:10:01,050 Oh, no. 133 00:10:01,710 --> 00:10:04,910 Oh, and I had so many things I wanted to do with my life. 134 00:10:05,310 --> 00:10:06,149 Like what? 135 00:10:06,150 --> 00:10:09,490 Well, like frizz my hair and buy some new shoes. 136 00:10:10,430 --> 00:10:14,170 Wait a minute. Bo, how do you know the world is going to end? 137 00:10:14,570 --> 00:10:16,370 Oh, I saw it in the cards. 138 00:10:16,650 --> 00:10:18,810 The cards. Then we got nothing to worry about. 139 00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:21,440 He's not playing with a full deck. 140 00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:26,420 There you go again, treating me like I was subferior. 141 00:10:27,900 --> 00:10:31,980 Don't listen to him, Bo. Well, I can't help it. He's so close, I hear every 142 00:10:31,980 --> 00:10:32,980 word. 143 00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:35,580 I think another car just fell out of the deck. 144 00:10:37,160 --> 00:10:40,960 Okay, but the world is going to end, and there'll be a sign. 145 00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:44,140 Something will happen here that's never happened before. 146 00:10:44,580 --> 00:10:45,740 You mean like if Dr. 147 00:10:45,980 --> 00:10:48,020 Bob actually cured a patient? 148 00:10:49,770 --> 00:10:51,670 Or Nurse Janice kept her mouth shut. 149 00:10:52,770 --> 00:10:55,110 Or if we got one honest laugh. 150 00:10:56,190 --> 00:10:59,270 Well, if the world was waiting for that, it's going to be around a long time. 151 00:10:59,770 --> 00:11:01,310 Might as well kill the announcer. 152 00:11:01,690 --> 00:11:05,710 And so we come to the end of another veterinarian's hospital. 153 00:11:06,270 --> 00:11:08,550 Gee, I was sure something was going to happen. 154 00:11:09,010 --> 00:11:11,610 Tune in next week when you'll hear Dr. Bob! 155 00:11:14,250 --> 00:11:17,770 Oh, good thing I landed on something soft. 156 00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:35,960 for love. 157 00:11:37,460 --> 00:11:39,420 Having a worry, I haven't a care. 158 00:11:39,620 --> 00:11:41,660 Feel like a feather, they're floating on air. 159 00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:44,380 Fiddle, fiddle, and ready for love. 160 00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:49,820 Soon the church bells will be ringing, and the march is mine to paw. 161 00:11:50,240 --> 00:11:54,460 Now the church bells will be ringing, with a hey, nonny, nonny, and a ha, cha, 162 00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:56,960 cha. My dinner little, my baby's okay. 163 00:11:57,360 --> 00:11:59,240 Ask me a riddle, what did she say? 164 00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:25,059 Look at that. 165 00:12:25,060 --> 00:12:26,980 All that and she can dance too. 166 00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:58,480 The church bells will be ringing, and the march will be on the path. 167 00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:02,660 The church bells will be ringing, with a nonny nonny and a hot cha cha. 168 00:13:02,940 --> 00:13:04,600 I hear a little, my baby's okay. 169 00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:06,640 Asked me a little, what did she say? 170 00:13:06,880 --> 00:13:09,040 But as a fiddle and ready for love. 171 00:13:26,990 --> 00:13:29,910 Oh, hi, Miss Piggy. I was just standing here getting some fresh air. 172 00:13:30,210 --> 00:13:32,270 Oh, I thought you were grabbing a taxi. 173 00:13:32,470 --> 00:13:34,930 Oh, no, I don't want to leave. I'm having too much fun. 174 00:13:35,190 --> 00:13:35,989 Oh, good. 175 00:13:35,990 --> 00:13:37,610 And you're doing a wonderful job. 176 00:13:37,970 --> 00:13:39,010 Oh, I'm not doing anything. 177 00:13:40,130 --> 00:13:41,250 You're doing it so well. 178 00:13:42,250 --> 00:13:43,129 Thank you. 179 00:13:43,130 --> 00:13:46,890 Eugene, you have sung to many beautiful women. 180 00:13:47,430 --> 00:13:48,710 Yes, yes, I've been lucky. 181 00:13:49,550 --> 00:13:50,870 Your luck's still with you. 182 00:13:51,110 --> 00:13:52,110 It is. 183 00:13:58,510 --> 00:13:59,530 I'd be happy to. 184 00:14:02,650 --> 00:14:09,150 I'm glad I met you, you wonderful you. 185 00:15:16,270 --> 00:15:17,550 I don't think it'll be the same. 186 00:16:02,540 --> 00:16:03,640 was about to speak. 187 00:16:03,980 --> 00:16:08,500 Oh, I wonder how that announcer is. He fell down in Fitzhospital, you know. 188 00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:11,300 Actually, I sprained my ankle. 189 00:16:12,380 --> 00:16:15,340 Well, take my advice and get your mommy to kiss it. 190 00:16:16,440 --> 00:16:18,160 Can we get on with this sketch? 191 00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:21,060 Yeah, yeah, good idea. 192 00:16:21,340 --> 00:16:26,740 Captain Hogthrob, the navigational computer just gave us a very startling 193 00:16:27,060 --> 00:16:28,060 Oh, what's that? 194 00:16:54,250 --> 00:16:55,570 I just love presents. 195 00:16:57,070 --> 00:17:01,810 In exactly one minute from now. 196 00:17:13,650 --> 00:17:16,130 It's okay, it's okay. It's just the dinner gone. 197 00:17:16,490 --> 00:17:17,490 Oh, God. 198 00:17:17,990 --> 00:17:20,829 That means I'm going to miss the meaning and purpose of life. 199 00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:07,440 The meaning and purpose of life has just been announced. 200 00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:35,160 Any more coffee? 201 00:18:37,260 --> 00:18:41,240 Too bad we all missed the meaning and purpose of life. 202 00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:43,860 Not all of us missed it. 203 00:19:13,070 --> 00:19:14,290 use a jug band number tonight. 204 00:19:14,530 --> 00:19:15,530 Aw, man, it's unfair. 205 00:19:16,250 --> 00:19:19,350 Oh, come on, Zeke. It ain't the end of the world. 206 00:19:19,650 --> 00:19:20,650 Yes, it is. 207 00:19:20,890 --> 00:19:24,310 The universe ended in pigs in space and the world must be next. 208 00:19:24,670 --> 00:19:25,910 It's just a sketch, though. 209 00:19:26,210 --> 00:19:30,770 Hey, Kermit, the set's on stage and ready to go. Let me see. Yeah, it looks 210 00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:33,890 like the set from the movie, doesn't it? Wow, an exact duplicate. 211 00:19:34,210 --> 00:19:37,290 Is Gene excited about doing Singing in the Rain on the show? 212 00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:39,110 Well, he doesn't know about it yet. 213 00:19:42,860 --> 00:19:44,540 Oh, it's our surprise closing number, Gene. 214 00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:49,380 Well, I hope it's not for me. I don't want to do anything more. I just came 215 00:19:49,380 --> 00:19:51,620 to enjoy myself, sit down, and relax. 216 00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:55,560 Not even something like all singing in the rain, possibly? 217 00:19:55,940 --> 00:20:00,200 Especially not that number. You know, I've done that number so much people are 218 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:03,600 tired of it. But, Gene, that's exactly what we thought. 219 00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:07,320 Gene's not going to want to do singing in the rain, we said. Didn't we, 220 00:20:07,700 --> 00:20:09,860 Yeah, that's what we said, I guess. 221 00:20:10,100 --> 00:20:11,640 Maybe I wasn't listening to us. 222 00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:16,540 Listen, Scooter, since the Jug Band set is on stage right now, we have a Jug 223 00:20:16,540 --> 00:20:19,680 Band on the show, Gene. A Jug Band. Yeah. Why don't you go tell a Jug Band 224 00:20:19,680 --> 00:20:20,680 their number is next? 225 00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:22,060 Oh, right. Yeah, right. 226 00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:24,860 I'll tell the Jug Band. Oh, they'll sure be pleased with their set. 227 00:20:26,660 --> 00:20:29,140 Gene, I just have one quick introduction to make. 228 00:20:29,660 --> 00:20:32,640 Good. I'll just go over here and sit down and relax, okay? 229 00:20:36,120 --> 00:20:37,120 Well, 230 00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:41,980 welcome, if you will, that Texas Jug Band extraordinaire. 231 00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:44,720 Lubbock Lou and his jug huggers. 232 00:21:28,170 --> 00:21:30,350 hoping that I do Singing in the Rain, all right? 233 00:21:30,650 --> 00:21:34,430 Oh, no, no, absolutely not. The thought never crossed my mind. 234 00:21:35,110 --> 00:21:36,950 Or to put it another way, yes. 235 00:21:37,830 --> 00:21:38,830 I guess. 236 00:21:39,510 --> 00:21:41,110 Well, I understand. 237 00:21:41,350 --> 00:21:46,750 I mean, it's a great song, but after I did it in the movie, Kermit, I used to 238 00:21:46,750 --> 00:21:47,750 it all the time. 239 00:21:48,070 --> 00:21:49,550 I'd do it at the drop of a hat. 240 00:21:52,690 --> 00:21:54,790 And no more. 241 00:21:55,310 --> 00:21:56,310 You see, 242 00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:00,880 that I'd never be able to do it better than we did it in the movie. 243 00:22:01,140 --> 00:22:03,380 So that's why I never sing it anymore. 244 00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:07,820 Yeah, but Gene, doesn't this vamp I'm playing make you kind of feel like 245 00:22:07,820 --> 00:22:08,820 singing? 246 00:22:09,060 --> 00:22:10,280 Yeah, that vamp does. 247 00:22:41,040 --> 00:22:42,400 I know that one sure. 248 00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:44,720 You... 249 00:23:15,980 --> 00:23:16,980 It sure does. 250 00:23:17,260 --> 00:23:18,260 And you know something? 251 00:23:18,340 --> 00:23:20,260 It even goes with this one, too. 252 00:23:25,740 --> 00:23:30,520 I'm singing in the rain. 253 00:23:32,260 --> 00:23:36,640 Just singing in the rain. 254 00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:41,820 What a glorious feeling. 255 00:23:46,860 --> 00:23:53,400 again I'll walk down the lane with a 256 00:23:53,400 --> 00:24:00,040 happy refrain just singing and dancing 257 00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:01,960 in 258 00:24:47,680 --> 00:24:52,180 Okay, and so we come to the end of another one. But before we go, let us 259 00:24:52,180 --> 00:24:56,040 back the man who's made this evening so very special for all of us. Ladies and 260 00:24:56,040 --> 00:24:57,220 gentlemen, Mr. Gene Cowan. 261 00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:05,920 Herbert, I've had a wonderful time. 262 00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:09,280 How can you say that? The world is coming to an end. 263 00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:14,280 You know, Beauregard, I have been reading the instruction manual for those 264 00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:15,420 fortune -telling cards. 265 00:25:15,820 --> 00:25:16,860 Scooter made a mistake. 266 00:25:17,360 --> 00:25:23,140 Oh? Yes, it says here, when the seven of lumps is in the ascendancy with the 267 00:25:23,140 --> 00:25:27,780 beginning of the drowning refrigerator. It doesn't mean the world is ending. It 268 00:25:27,780 --> 00:25:31,140 means your laundry will come back gray and dingy. 269 00:25:32,620 --> 00:25:37,400 You're trying to make me feel better, but I know the end is near. 270 00:25:37,780 --> 00:25:39,020 No, the end is now. 271 00:25:39,260 --> 00:25:40,980 We'll see you next time on The Muppet Show. 272 00:26:19,340 --> 00:26:20,760 Are you ready for the end of the world? 273 00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:23,040 Sure, it couldn't be worse than this, y 'all. 20272