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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,020 --> 00:00:10,100 Rubbish. Hey, hold on. Who are you? 2 00:00:10,360 --> 00:00:13,200 Oh, I'm Wally Bogue. I'm the guest on tonight's Muppet show. 3 00:00:13,700 --> 00:00:14,960 Wally Bogue. 4 00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:16,240 Balloon animals. 5 00:00:16,660 --> 00:00:21,200 Why, I haven't seen you in a long time, old buddy. Remember me, Pops? 6 00:00:21,460 --> 00:00:23,100 Sorry, afraid I don't. Sure. 7 00:00:30,410 --> 00:00:32,750 Must have been someone else. I've never been to Pittsburgh. 8 00:00:33,370 --> 00:00:36,290 There. Oh, it must have been someone else. Well, sorry. 9 00:00:36,530 --> 00:00:39,390 I wanted to give the guy back the $10 he loaned me. 10 00:00:39,590 --> 00:00:41,090 Oh, that pops. 11 00:00:41,890 --> 00:00:43,670 Good to see you again, pops. 12 00:00:47,050 --> 00:00:50,370 It's the Muppet Show with our very special guest star, Wally. 13 00:01:22,570 --> 00:01:26,550 Why do we always come here? I just will never know. 14 00:01:26,910 --> 00:01:30,630 It's like a kind of torture to have to watch the show. 15 00:01:41,110 --> 00:01:43,010 It's time to get things started. 16 00:02:04,910 --> 00:02:08,750 week we try to do a real old -fashioned vaudeville show well this week we're 17 00:02:08,750 --> 00:02:12,950 going to succeed that's because in the wings is that master vaudevillian and 18 00:02:12,950 --> 00:02:19,230 king of comedy mr wally bogue yes so here for openers are the flying zucchini 19 00:02:19,230 --> 00:02:21,470 brothers and their human cannonball act 20 00:02:34,060 --> 00:02:36,240 your cannons and point them to the heavens. 21 00:02:36,580 --> 00:02:37,580 That's squishy, squishy. 22 00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:42,580 And now, ladies and gentlemen, it's ready for the big boom -a -boom -a. 23 00:02:42,980 --> 00:02:44,680 Brothers, signal when ready. 24 00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:46,600 Luigi! Luigi! 25 00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:23,320 the scenery. 26 00:04:01,100 --> 00:04:06,480 the Guinness Book of Records, on July 17, 1955, Wally Bogue opened the Golden 27 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:07,840 Horseshoe Review in Disneyland. 28 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:12,800 He's been doing five shows a day there ever since, a total of over 32 ,000 29 00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:13,800 performances. 30 00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:20,260 Yes. So having achieved his feat, he's decided to tempt fate and try to make it 31 00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:23,020 through one performance on The Muppet Show. So here he is. 32 00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:41,760 in my purse, I've got balloons. 33 00:04:42,100 --> 00:04:45,780 I had balloons. Oh, well. Is there a psychiatrist in the house? Nothing 34 00:04:45,780 --> 00:04:49,980 personal. It's just that I have a new theory in psychiatry. I can tell 35 00:04:49,980 --> 00:04:52,660 troubles in their character by the way they blow up a toy balloon. 36 00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:56,060 And it's much cheaper than a couch. Let me show you how it works. 37 00:04:56,540 --> 00:05:01,260 For instance, the average normal person will blow a balloon something like that. 38 00:05:01,300 --> 00:05:04,520 That's the average type. And then we have a straightforward person. 39 00:05:07,020 --> 00:05:08,020 Straightforward type. 40 00:05:08,270 --> 00:05:09,810 Some people are a little backwards. 41 00:05:10,090 --> 00:05:11,810 Backwards? Yes, the backward type. 42 00:05:13,770 --> 00:05:14,770 Did you see that? 43 00:05:15,490 --> 00:05:16,590 Oh, I've got talent. 44 00:05:16,790 --> 00:05:20,170 Here's a scatterbrain. Their mind jumps around a bit. 45 00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:27,090 Red balloons would do the same thing. I think we'll get rid of that. 46 00:05:27,330 --> 00:05:31,550 Now, to get the message, you have a person wrap up all of these thoughts, 47 00:05:31,550 --> 00:05:34,270 them all together, and you find out something more about them. 48 00:05:34,630 --> 00:05:37,090 I've made quite a name for myself doing this. 49 00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:38,920 I don't like it. Me either. 50 00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:40,980 You've heard of pink elephants? 51 00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:45,700 Here's someone who sees pink elephants looking a little like that old pink 52 00:05:45,700 --> 00:05:46,700 elephant right there. 53 00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:52,700 Oh, you're so right. Let's take his trunk here now and make a little 54 00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:56,180 out of it. I had an uncle who used to see elephants when he was inebriated, 55 00:05:56,240 --> 00:05:58,900 drunk. He was a character. He was a kleptomaniac. 56 00:05:59,840 --> 00:06:02,640 Kleptomaniac, that's a person who finds things before you lose them. 57 00:06:04,190 --> 00:06:08,470 He's deformed. He only steals things now, beginning with A. A watch, A car, A 58 00:06:08,470 --> 00:06:12,650 purse, A wallet, A rabbit. There's a little rabbit thing up there now. 59 00:06:12,910 --> 00:06:14,210 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! 60 00:06:14,830 --> 00:06:17,830 Drew about to have a rabbit, washed his hair, and couldn't do a thing with her. 61 00:06:18,570 --> 00:06:22,470 Perhaps you're right. This is just a normal husband leading the life of a 62 00:06:22,490 --> 00:06:26,350 but he's a gay, debonair, French poodle -type dog, and there's a little... 63 00:06:26,570 --> 00:06:27,570 problem there again. 64 00:06:27,910 --> 00:06:31,430 I had a little French poodle. I had to sell my dog. He ran in front of a 65 00:06:31,430 --> 00:06:32,850 lawnmower and it cut off his tail. 66 00:06:33,190 --> 00:06:35,590 I sold him wholesale. I couldn't retail him. 67 00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:39,170 Here's a near -sighted person. 68 00:06:42,690 --> 00:06:45,930 We'll just wrap these up and now see what we have. Why don't you remember my 69 00:06:45,930 --> 00:06:46,930 name again, folks? 70 00:06:46,970 --> 00:06:51,230 Wally Bogue, because you'll be reading about me in the newspapers. 71 00:06:51,770 --> 00:06:52,930 I smoke in bed. 72 00:06:54,060 --> 00:06:58,020 Here's a very fancy dog. This is a police dog. 73 00:06:58,820 --> 00:07:01,120 You might not recognize him. He's in the CIA. 74 00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:04,640 Same dog going around the corner. 75 00:07:04,860 --> 00:07:07,860 I'd like to make more for you, but something happened to my balloons. I had 76 00:07:07,860 --> 00:07:08,860 whole lot of balloons. 77 00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:12,280 There. 78 00:07:21,540 --> 00:07:23,440 Can you tell anything about me from this? 79 00:07:23,820 --> 00:07:26,540 Yeah, you got a round shape and you're full of hot air. 80 00:07:30,860 --> 00:07:33,660 Oh, a green egg, Wally. I love that last balloon. 81 00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:35,460 Oh, really? I thought I blew it. 82 00:07:36,460 --> 00:07:37,600 Hi, Miss Piggy. 83 00:07:55,530 --> 00:07:57,790 Yes, I hate playing dog acts. 84 00:08:00,530 --> 00:08:01,770 Professional jealousy. 85 00:08:05,070 --> 00:08:09,210 On with the vaudeville show. Here's the Muppet Show's answer to Lassie the 86 00:08:09,210 --> 00:08:12,430 Amazing Foo Foo and her equally amazing trainer, Miss Pig. 87 00:08:30,830 --> 00:08:31,830 Ladies and gentlemen, 88 00:09:24,620 --> 00:09:26,140 Figured I was as close as she was going to get. 89 00:09:29,560 --> 00:09:31,040 We shall do it again. 90 00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:33,220 This time let her finish. 91 00:09:57,840 --> 00:10:01,720 Maybe that trick's too hard for her. Have her do something simple like roll 92 00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:02,720 and play dead. 93 00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:06,540 Why don't you roll over and drop dead? 94 00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:12,400 If I wanted her to do something simple, I would have had her play the piano and 95 00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:13,600 make dumb remarks. 96 00:10:16,660 --> 00:10:19,620 Would everyone like to see Foo Foo dance? 97 00:10:58,350 --> 00:11:00,390 singers who have all kissed the blarney stone. 98 00:12:47,370 --> 00:12:50,230 another popular expression down the drain? What's that? 99 00:12:50,490 --> 00:12:51,690 The luck of the Irish. 100 00:12:53,870 --> 00:12:59,130 And now, ladies and gentlemen, continuing with our vaudeville show, 101 00:12:59,130 --> 00:12:59,849 Bog time. 102 00:12:59,850 --> 00:13:02,090 And here he is to do the Highland Fling. 103 00:13:05,930 --> 00:13:07,610 Don't play me like that. 104 00:13:10,970 --> 00:13:12,810 Thank you. Thank you. I deserve it. 105 00:13:14,090 --> 00:13:17,090 I am Scotch, you know. As a matter of fact, it was my great -grandfather, 106 00:13:17,110 --> 00:13:20,410 McBogue, that gave me these very rare McBagbird here. 107 00:13:20,890 --> 00:13:21,890 Isn't she pretty? 108 00:13:22,930 --> 00:13:24,490 Can't fly, but what a voice. 109 00:13:24,730 --> 00:13:26,290 A little history on the Magbird. 110 00:13:26,690 --> 00:13:30,290 It was originated in Ireland in the 15th century, and the Irish gave them to the 111 00:13:30,290 --> 00:13:32,730 Scots. And the Scots haven't caught on to the joke yet. 112 00:13:33,550 --> 00:13:35,850 For my first number, I play by ear. 113 00:13:36,110 --> 00:13:38,970 I play... I'm not well. My first number. 114 00:13:39,910 --> 00:13:40,910 Come on, baby. 115 00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:53,240 For its mummy. 116 00:13:53,300 --> 00:13:54,480 Yeah. Just relax. 117 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:57,420 One more time. 118 00:13:58,460 --> 00:13:59,460 One more time. 119 00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:03,680 Oh, well. I'll give it a vitamin pill. That might help. Actually, I would like 120 00:14:03,680 --> 00:14:04,359 to play. 121 00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:05,640 I would like to play. 122 00:14:05,860 --> 00:14:11,100 I've got to. A little song entitled, The Girl Next Door Lived the Life of a Dog, 123 00:14:11,260 --> 00:14:12,380 So I Called Her Rover. 124 00:14:12,620 --> 00:14:14,860 I shouldn't have, should I? 125 00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:16,200 Here we go. 126 00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:41,460 Of course, a lot of people. A lot of people. 127 00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:44,000 I'm talking. Do you mind? 128 00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:45,840 Thank you. A lot of people. 129 00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:47,540 A lot of people. 130 00:14:47,740 --> 00:14:51,680 I'll be right with you. A lot of people, I hear you, have said, Wally, that's my 131 00:14:51,680 --> 00:14:55,360 maiden name, is it possible to play a melody on the bagpipes? 132 00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:57,880 Is it possible to play a melody? 133 00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:03,060 No. But I'd like to endeavor to play Swanee River, and I wonder if the band 134 00:15:03,060 --> 00:15:06,720 would join me because I'm really coming apart. 135 00:15:06,940 --> 00:15:07,579 You ready? 136 00:15:07,580 --> 00:15:08,580 Swanee River. 137 00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:09,720 In the rock time. 138 00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:40,880 No hand. 139 00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:56,080 Okay. 140 00:16:02,340 --> 00:16:07,140 And now, ladies and gentlemen, a very special lullaby in gibberish. 141 00:16:14,990 --> 00:16:20,890 There's a song that I recall my mother sang to me. 142 00:16:21,910 --> 00:16:28,530 She sang it as she tucked me in when I was 93. 143 00:16:31,570 --> 00:16:32,990 Are you ready? 144 00:16:33,210 --> 00:16:34,210 This is it. 145 00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:46,860 Nying -dong, nying -dong, nying -dong, nying -dong, nying -dong, nying -dong, 146 00:16:46,860 --> 00:16:50,800 nying -dong, nying -dong, nying -dong, nying -dong, nying -dong, 147 00:16:53,020 --> 00:16:54,040 nying 148 00:16:54,040 --> 00:17:06,640 -dong. 149 00:17:12,140 --> 00:17:13,240 Ow, I've had no game. 150 00:17:54,530 --> 00:17:58,410 Okay, if anybody wants me, Pops, I'm getting some fresh air. Oh, great. You 151 00:17:58,410 --> 00:18:00,150 watch the stage door while I'm away. 152 00:18:01,110 --> 00:18:03,950 Hey, where are you going, Pops? Going to watch this show. 153 00:18:04,310 --> 00:18:05,730 Well, let me know how I was. 154 00:18:08,930 --> 00:18:11,230 Introducing the astounding illusionist, Dr. 155 00:18:11,610 --> 00:18:14,270 Salamander, hypnotist, and newt. Yeah! 156 00:18:17,890 --> 00:18:20,170 Aloha, Joe, and Elaine. 157 00:18:22,450 --> 00:18:25,720 First, I need a bullet. tier from the audience. 158 00:18:26,020 --> 00:18:29,340 Sir, you with the mustache? Yes, in the front row. 159 00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:30,840 Somebody help him up. 160 00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:35,920 Hey, get your dirty hands off my filthy arm. 161 00:18:37,540 --> 00:18:39,840 That's good, sir. Just step right over here. 162 00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:43,480 Wait a minute, Pops. What are you doing in the audience? 163 00:18:43,900 --> 00:18:46,360 Come here to try to get some sleep. 164 00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:51,300 Well, this is no time for that because I am going to... 165 00:18:56,620 --> 00:19:01,100 Then I will command you to float up into the air, levitating against all laws of 166 00:19:01,100 --> 00:19:02,100 gravity. 167 00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:04,780 Wake up! Well, what is it now? 168 00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:07,460 Now I'm going to put you to sleep. 169 00:19:07,900 --> 00:19:09,760 You woke me up to tell me that? 170 00:19:11,180 --> 00:19:12,180 All right. 171 00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:14,000 Look it, just lie down here. 172 00:19:14,380 --> 00:19:16,980 That's the first sensible thing you said all evening. 173 00:19:17,180 --> 00:19:21,900 All right, look into my eyes, and by the time I count to ten, you will be 174 00:19:21,900 --> 00:19:23,900 totally under my power. 175 00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:25,440 One. 176 00:19:30,990 --> 00:19:31,990 Up you go. 177 00:19:32,050 --> 00:19:33,950 Levitate. Rise. 178 00:19:35,010 --> 00:19:37,490 Rise. Up you go. 179 00:20:00,270 --> 00:20:01,229 What do we do now? 180 00:20:01,230 --> 00:20:03,210 Never, never take the heart of hearing. 181 00:20:04,690 --> 00:20:05,930 He's headed towards the backstage. 182 00:20:06,370 --> 00:20:07,670 Scooter, do something. 183 00:20:08,030 --> 00:20:09,750 I'll slam the stage door, boss. 184 00:20:09,990 --> 00:20:11,850 It's the one thing that always wakes Pops up. 185 00:20:14,270 --> 00:20:18,090 Oh, hi, Wally. Oh, hi, Scooter. Am I on yet? No, we're just waiting for this act 186 00:20:18,090 --> 00:20:19,090 to end. Good. 187 00:20:22,110 --> 00:20:28,330 Now that looks like the end of an act. 188 00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:36,540 Wally Boog and his world -famous western sketch. 189 00:21:15,020 --> 00:21:17,720 I got the fastest draw in the West. 190 00:21:17,980 --> 00:21:19,400 You want to see it? Yeah! 191 00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:21,120 You want to see it again? 192 00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:25,500 Once was a drought spread up Texas. 193 00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:28,600 So the sunny California he didn't go. 194 00:21:29,180 --> 00:21:33,620 And though the gag is kind of corny, he won't rain in California. That's the way 195 00:21:33,620 --> 00:21:34,940 we got the Gulf of Mexico. 196 00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:25,720 Just send us your dentist bill. 197 00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:26,880 No problem. 198 00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:19,280 You know that Wally Bogue is a multimillionaire. Oh, where'd he get his 199 00:25:19,480 --> 00:25:20,480 The Tooth Fairy. 15193