Original subtitles

Hi, I'm Brian Henson.

This episode of The Muppet Show stars Carol Burnett. How have you know I am a

lady?

This particular episode was also a favorite of The Muppet Show writers

they won an Emmy for Best Writing on a comedy variety show. Carol, I realized

that that first number was a little shaky.

Shaky? Shaky? You call that number shaky?

You may wonder what... was the sophisticated concept that won this Emmy

for them? Well, the idea was that everybody would be dancing from the very

beginning of the show to the very end, and the whole episode would be a dance

marathon. Here's your partner.

Sounds like an incredibly stupid and easy idea.

What else could happen? Two, three, dip!

Put it all together, and it makes for really one of the all -time great

of The Muppet Show.

I'm Carol Burnett, and I'm supposed to be doing the Muppets show tonight.

Hey, Carol Burnett, boy, are you in luck.

Oh, why? Has the show been canceled?

No, we're having a dance marathon tonight. See, I got my number and

A dance marathon. My, what a fresh idea.

It's after the show, I suppose.

No, during.

Oh, during.

You mean while I'm supposed to be doing my sketch?

Well,

yeah, but don't worry. You won't bother us.

Why did I know you were going to say that?

Terrific! Another contestant! What number would you like?

My agent's. I don't believe this.

inspirational, celebrational, motivational.

me from dancing.

No, I'll find you a partner.

Herman, I really don't want to hurt your feelings. Don't misunderstand me, but

this is one of the three worst shows I've ever seen.

What were the other two?

There are no other two. I was just being kind.

Here's your partner.

What is it? Well, that's animal.

Well, I knew it wasn't vegetable or mineral.

To be made a fool of by you nitwits.

You have cobwebs in the windmills of your mind.

I just...

This step will bring terrible agony.

The muscles rebel.

Things have happened to other guests before. Other guests?

Other guests what? Julie Andrews? She must have gone on for days and days.

She didn't sing that. She sang when you were a tadpole and I was a fish.

Same thing.

Same thing?

I am leaving, and that's it. I'm very sorry.

But Carol, you've got to sing. I'll work out something where you can...

make me change my mind. Oh, gee, Carol, I just did want you to do your asparagus

sketch.

My what?

Well, I really wanted you to do your famous lonely asparagus sketch.

Oh, Kermit.

Kermit, do you really mean that?

Yes. Oh, Kermit, when?

Oh, well, soon, right now.

I'll change.

if you keep giving them rent.