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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,520 --> 00:00:09,040 Hi, I'm Brian Henson. 2 00:00:10,620 --> 00:00:14,480 The Muppet fans are sometimes really crazy people. It's amazing. 3 00:00:14,780 --> 00:00:19,660 Every crazy little walk -on character, they know the name. So, if you want a 4 00:00:19,660 --> 00:00:22,900 facts that'll impress your friends, tell them about these characters. 5 00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:28,280 Here's Wayne and Wanda. These two are an accident -prone singing duo who were in 6 00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:30,760 the pilot but only actually lasted through the first season. 7 00:00:35,560 --> 00:00:37,080 Or how about Betsy Bird? 8 00:00:37,360 --> 00:00:41,240 She was a beautiful, eccentric, dancing bird who appeared in several shows, but 9 00:00:41,240 --> 00:00:42,620 she never really quite took off. 10 00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:47,880 Or here's Fleet Scribbler, who's an abrasive tabloid reporter that the press 11 00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:49,880 loved, but the show's writers couldn't stand. 12 00:00:50,160 --> 00:00:52,540 Muppets, banned press, reporter thrown out by fraud. 13 00:00:53,060 --> 00:00:55,340 He was soon written out of the show. 14 00:00:55,780 --> 00:00:59,780 Just keep watching, and you might see Fleet and a few other unsung Muppet 15 00:00:59,780 --> 00:01:00,960 on The Muppet Show. 16 00:01:06,190 --> 00:01:09,590 The Muppet Show with our very special guest star, Miss Juliet Proulx! 17 00:01:34,730 --> 00:01:38,210 It's time to get things started. Another show, another headache. 18 00:01:38,630 --> 00:01:40,510 It's time to get things started. 19 00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:06,880 Hey, listen, it's another great show, folks. I mean, tonight our guest star is 20 00:02:06,880 --> 00:02:11,820 one of the truly great dancers of the world, the one and only Miss Julia 21 00:02:12,220 --> 00:02:16,980 And if that weren't enough, we've also got Manamana, whatever that means. 22 00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:21,600 Manamana. 23 00:02:31,060 --> 00:02:32,060 Manamana. 24 00:02:33,420 --> 00:02:34,420 Manama. 25 00:02:38,900 --> 00:02:40,300 Manama. 26 00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:57,420 Manama. Manama. Manama. 27 00:03:10,230 --> 00:03:13,030 Thank you. 28 00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:32,560 Thank you. 29 00:04:32,460 --> 00:04:33,460 Just a second. 30 00:04:34,580 --> 00:04:35,580 It's for you. 31 00:04:36,620 --> 00:04:37,620 Manamana. 32 00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:44,600 The question is, what is a manamana? 33 00:04:45,060 --> 00:04:47,120 The question is, who cares? 34 00:04:51,660 --> 00:04:53,320 Think about this, friends. 35 00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:56,419 Hey, boss. 36 00:04:56,420 --> 00:04:59,020 Muppet and I wanted to talk to you about the act we're doing on the show 37 00:04:59,020 --> 00:05:01,720 tonight. Scooter, you're not doing an act on the show tonight. 38 00:05:02,190 --> 00:05:05,670 Oh, gee, my uncle who owns this theater thought of this act. Did he? 39 00:05:06,090 --> 00:05:08,250 Tell us about the act you're doing on the show tonight. 40 00:05:08,510 --> 00:05:11,450 Oh, it's called Simon Smith and His Amazing Dancing Dog. 41 00:05:11,730 --> 00:05:15,650 Yeah, I sing this song, see? And Muppet here does this cute, adorable, sweet, 42 00:05:15,750 --> 00:05:16,790 sugary little dance. 43 00:05:17,570 --> 00:05:22,130 Well, it sounds, says the frog displaying his artistic judgment, sappy. 44 00:05:23,050 --> 00:05:27,690 Gee, my uncle thought it was... It sounds, says the frog displaying his 45 00:05:27,690 --> 00:05:29,250 survive, wonderful. 46 00:05:29,630 --> 00:05:31,630 Yeah, it's great. He'll love it. 47 00:05:31,870 --> 00:05:35,630 I am certainly. I've often thought of Muppet here as about the cutest little 48 00:05:35,630 --> 00:05:36,630 fellow around. 49 00:05:36,830 --> 00:05:39,390 He thinks of himself as a killer. 50 00:05:39,730 --> 00:05:40,990 Let me out of here. 51 00:05:45,810 --> 00:05:46,810 Dumb dog. 52 00:05:46,890 --> 00:05:51,670 Oh, I'm unstated. Well, now that I'm here, let me take this opportunity to 53 00:05:51,670 --> 00:05:54,950 present the Muppet Show's resident artist, Gonzo the Great. 54 00:05:57,190 --> 00:06:02,560 Oh, thank you very much. Thank you. Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, I will 55 00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:06,680 this rubber tire to the music of the flight of the bumblebee. 56 00:06:06,980 --> 00:06:13,680 He's doing it. He's 57 00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:14,680 eating a tire. 58 00:06:14,900 --> 00:06:16,680 Amazing. Astounding. 59 00:06:16,900 --> 00:06:17,900 Boring. 60 00:06:22,680 --> 00:06:26,080 Looks like it's another wipeout for Gonzo. 61 00:06:32,590 --> 00:06:34,030 What do they know about art? 62 00:06:35,450 --> 00:06:36,490 Hey, Kermit. 63 00:06:36,910 --> 00:06:40,830 Mubby wants you to know he's very sorry he bit you. Oh, yeah? He wants you to 64 00:06:40,830 --> 00:06:43,590 know he's very grateful you're letting him do the Simon Smith number. 65 00:06:43,890 --> 00:06:46,870 Oh, well, that's nice. He wants you to know he wants his own dressing room and 66 00:06:46,870 --> 00:06:47,870 star billing. 67 00:06:48,010 --> 00:06:50,170 What? Who is this crazy dog? 68 00:06:50,490 --> 00:06:51,730 He's my uncle's favorite pet. 69 00:07:07,690 --> 00:07:09,670 Hey, listen, is everything okay? Any complaints? 70 00:07:09,990 --> 00:07:13,670 No, none whatsoever, except that I've never had to share my dressing room 71 00:07:13,670 --> 00:07:15,250 with a man who eats a tire. 72 00:07:16,490 --> 00:07:20,190 I told Gonzo to dress in the alley. Hey, listen, I've got to go introduce you. 73 00:07:20,350 --> 00:07:21,930 You look beautiful. Beautiful. 74 00:07:24,030 --> 00:07:25,670 He's sweet for a frog. 75 00:07:27,550 --> 00:07:31,030 Ladies and gentlemen, the lovely Miss Juliet Prowse. 76 00:10:15,470 --> 00:10:17,710 She just vanished. How did she do that? 77 00:10:18,110 --> 00:10:19,170 Probably like this. 78 00:10:23,770 --> 00:10:25,330 That's probably how she did it. 79 00:10:35,730 --> 00:10:37,590 You're such a smooth dancer. 80 00:10:37,950 --> 00:10:41,950 Ever since we started, I feel like my feet have never touched the floor. 81 00:10:43,050 --> 00:10:44,170 They haven't. 82 00:10:44,410 --> 00:10:51,130 You've been standing on my... Do you prefer Shakespeare to 83 00:10:51,130 --> 00:10:54,030 bacon? I prefer anything to bacon. 84 00:10:56,310 --> 00:10:57,650 Mind if I smoke? 85 00:10:58,030 --> 00:10:59,030 If you insist. 86 00:10:59,490 --> 00:11:00,490 Thanks. 87 00:11:11,030 --> 00:11:13,370 Smoke's not bothering you, is it? Magic! 88 00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:28,260 At this time, I would like to present my rendition of one of the great songs of 89 00:11:28,260 --> 00:11:29,260 our time. 90 00:11:29,740 --> 00:11:34,160 That ever -popular classic, You and I and George. 91 00:11:36,160 --> 00:11:43,040 But why, you ask, as well you should, have I never heard this great song of 92 00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:44,040 times? 93 00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:48,580 The fact is, nobody has ever heard of this ever -popular classic. 94 00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:51,260 And it's only recording... 95 00:11:51,680 --> 00:11:54,080 You and I and George sold two copies. 96 00:11:55,780 --> 00:11:58,080 I bought one and George bought one. 97 00:11:59,860 --> 00:12:00,880 Where were you? 98 00:12:06,740 --> 00:12:11,040 My own mother turns down her hearing aid when I sing this song. 99 00:12:16,060 --> 00:12:19,760 You and I and George. 100 00:12:22,030 --> 00:12:28,150 Went strolling through the park one day, and then 101 00:12:28,150 --> 00:12:33,790 you held my hand as if to say, 102 00:12:33,930 --> 00:12:38,290 I love you. 103 00:12:41,370 --> 00:12:47,850 Then we passed a brook, and 104 00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:48,850 George... 105 00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:51,320 Fell in and drowned himself. 106 00:12:52,040 --> 00:12:55,320 And floated out to sea. 107 00:12:58,120 --> 00:13:04,460 Leaving you alone with 108 00:13:04,460 --> 00:13:05,460 me. 109 00:13:16,080 --> 00:13:18,760 You know, that number you did was just beautiful, Juliet. 110 00:13:19,240 --> 00:13:22,900 Well, thank you, Kermit. You know, I'm really happy to be here with you and all 111 00:13:22,900 --> 00:13:24,860 the Muppets. You know something? 112 00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:26,960 I've never talked to a frog before. 113 00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:29,480 Well, we're just like anyone else. 114 00:13:29,820 --> 00:13:31,800 A little more jumpy, maybe. 115 00:13:32,260 --> 00:13:34,980 But, you know, we have our hopes and our dreams. 116 00:13:35,360 --> 00:13:37,380 Oh, yeah? Well, what are some of your dreams? 117 00:13:38,040 --> 00:13:44,400 Well, you may just think I'm gilding the lily pad here, but as a tadpole, I 118 00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:45,400 always wanted to be a dancer. 119 00:13:45,940 --> 00:13:48,040 But you know what they say. 120 00:13:49,100 --> 00:13:50,980 The first thing to go on a frog are his legs. 121 00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:54,380 That's funny. 122 00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:57,300 I never knew that frogs had a sense of humor. 123 00:13:57,600 --> 00:13:58,820 Oh, well, we have to. 124 00:13:59,300 --> 00:14:02,660 Listen, you meet a frog without a sense of humor and you're looking at a green 125 00:14:02,660 --> 00:14:03,660 lump. 126 00:14:04,220 --> 00:14:05,820 Well, let's just face it, Julie. 127 00:14:06,380 --> 00:14:09,520 Your average frog doesn't have a lot going for him in the looks department. 128 00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:12,640 Oh, I don't know. I think you're quite attractive. 129 00:14:13,700 --> 00:14:14,940 Really? Mm -hmm. 130 00:14:15,660 --> 00:14:17,260 You're not just saying that because you're a guest. 131 00:14:17,630 --> 00:14:21,350 Well, certainly not. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that you are the Robert 132 00:14:21,350 --> 00:14:22,350 Redford of frogs. 133 00:14:22,950 --> 00:14:24,030 Oh, wow. 134 00:14:24,670 --> 00:14:27,570 Hey, listen, everybody, did you hear that? Juliet Prowse thinks I'm the 135 00:14:27,570 --> 00:14:28,570 Redford of frogs. 136 00:14:28,990 --> 00:14:30,950 Hey, you're going to be coming back on this show a lot. 137 00:14:32,770 --> 00:14:35,050 Hey, listen, have you ever kissed Robert Redford? 138 00:14:35,430 --> 00:14:36,830 No, I haven't. 139 00:14:37,050 --> 00:14:41,050 How about kissing the next best thing? 140 00:14:41,630 --> 00:14:43,670 You mean to tell me that Paul Newman is here? 141 00:14:45,710 --> 00:14:50,030 I mean me, the Robert Redford of Frogdom. Ah, my pleasure. 142 00:14:52,330 --> 00:14:53,790 More, more. 143 00:14:54,890 --> 00:14:55,890 Less, less. 144 00:14:59,390 --> 00:15:01,170 Okay, stand by for the western sketch. 145 00:15:01,550 --> 00:15:05,670 Hey, hey, come in, come in. Hey, does this sound like John Wayne? 146 00:15:06,450 --> 00:15:08,270 Will you get on stage, Fozzie? 147 00:15:08,780 --> 00:15:13,560 Hey, Kermit? Yeah, now that Muppet is doing the big Simon Smith number, well, 148 00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:14,620 only has one other suggestion. 149 00:15:14,980 --> 00:15:18,000 Listen, I already gave him his own dressing room. What more does he want? 150 00:15:18,100 --> 00:15:20,060 it's about the title of the show. Look. 151 00:15:22,260 --> 00:15:23,520 A Muppet show? 152 00:15:24,500 --> 00:15:28,920 Ladies and gentlemen, it's cowboy time. 153 00:15:32,180 --> 00:15:36,060 I've been playing saloon piano in Snake City for three years. 154 00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:38,400 It was the roughest town in the West. 155 00:15:39,780 --> 00:15:41,960 I mean, we had some mean customers. 156 00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:43,600 Howdy, Rolf. 157 00:15:44,420 --> 00:15:45,640 Hello, Miss Kitty. 158 00:15:47,380 --> 00:15:48,860 I mean, they were tough. 159 00:15:49,540 --> 00:15:51,800 After three years, I thought I'd seen it all. 160 00:15:52,180 --> 00:15:58,040 I'd seen the Clanton brothers, the Younger brothers, the James brothers, 161 00:15:58,040 --> 00:15:59,080 mention the Osmond brothers. 162 00:15:59,740 --> 00:16:04,120 But when Kid Fozzie came to town, I knew I hadn't seen nothing. 163 00:16:08,540 --> 00:16:11,100 Everybody, reach for the floor. 164 00:16:12,420 --> 00:16:13,420 Beg pardon? 165 00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:17,060 Reach for the floor. This is a stick town. 166 00:16:17,420 --> 00:16:18,880 You're confused, kid. 167 00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:21,820 You ain't got no guns. Those are pickles. 168 00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:28,780 There he is, the fastest gherkin in the West. 169 00:16:30,020 --> 00:16:32,720 You got a license to carry them pickles? 170 00:16:35,470 --> 00:16:38,510 When you get shot by a pickle at close range, do you get garlic burns? 171 00:16:38,770 --> 00:16:39,930 All right. 172 00:16:42,230 --> 00:16:43,850 You asked for it. 173 00:16:47,570 --> 00:16:50,150 Sorry, kid. I didn't know the pickles were loaded. 174 00:16:50,590 --> 00:16:51,590 Here's your money. 175 00:16:51,750 --> 00:16:55,550 All right, kid. Don't make a move. I got you covered. Throw down your pickles. 176 00:16:55,950 --> 00:16:56,950 Okay. 177 00:16:58,150 --> 00:17:00,370 I don't need guns to fight you. 178 00:17:00,670 --> 00:17:02,330 I'll get you with my knife. 179 00:17:02,710 --> 00:17:04,270 Will you stop with the vegetables? 180 00:17:05,900 --> 00:17:10,300 You shouldn't have done that. I'm a desperate bear, ready for desperate 181 00:17:10,300 --> 00:17:11,300 measures. 182 00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:13,520 Oh, no! 183 00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:19,180 It's an apple! Then don't tell me! Yes, the fuse is lit. 184 00:17:40,010 --> 00:17:42,470 The day Kid Fozzie came into town. 185 00:17:47,250 --> 00:17:50,810 That's one of the reasons I always thought the Muppets were weird. 186 00:17:51,710 --> 00:17:52,710 Why's that? 187 00:17:52,910 --> 00:17:54,830 They think explosions are funny. 188 00:17:56,870 --> 00:17:58,210 Explosions aren't funny. 189 00:18:00,510 --> 00:18:03,290 Well, some of them are really quite droll. 190 00:18:06,830 --> 00:18:10,290 What has one eye, sharp teeth, and is long and fuzzy? 191 00:18:10,770 --> 00:18:13,430 I don't know. I don't know either, but you're wearing it. 192 00:18:13,670 --> 00:18:14,750 Hey, you duds. 193 00:18:19,690 --> 00:18:21,570 Moppy, Scooter, you're on next. 194 00:18:22,790 --> 00:18:26,870 It's no use, Kermit. What? Moppy says if you won't change the title of the show, 195 00:18:26,950 --> 00:18:30,390 he's not going on. He's locked himself in an unstressing room, and he's not 196 00:18:30,390 --> 00:18:31,129 coming out. 197 00:18:31,130 --> 00:18:34,910 Yeah, but the Simon Smith number's on next. No, I know. What are we going to 198 00:18:35,150 --> 00:18:39,250 Kermit, Kermit, Kermit, how come I'm not doing an act this week? 199 00:18:40,770 --> 00:18:43,610 Congratulations, Fozzie, you're doing an act this week. 200 00:18:45,750 --> 00:18:47,730 Sometimes I can be very persuasive. 201 00:18:50,190 --> 00:18:54,490 Ladies and gentlemen, Simon Smith and his amazing dancing bear. 202 00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:08,080 Go out tomorrow if I can borrow a coat to wear. 203 00:19:08,360 --> 00:19:13,920 Oh, I'd step out in style with my sincere smile and my dancing bear. 204 00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:19,360 Outrageous, alarming, courageous, charming. 205 00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:26,540 Oh, who would think a boy and bear could be well accepted everywhere? It's just 206 00:19:26,540 --> 00:19:29,340 amazing how fair people can be. 207 00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:40,360 Seen at the nicest places where well -fed faces all stop to stare. 208 00:19:40,620 --> 00:19:47,080 Making the grandest entrances, Simon Smith and his dancing bear. They'll love 209 00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:48,780 us. Won't they? 210 00:19:49,120 --> 00:19:50,400 They feed us. 211 00:19:50,740 --> 00:19:51,740 Don't they? 212 00:19:52,080 --> 00:19:58,700 Oh, who would think a boy and bear could be well accepted everywhere? It's just 213 00:19:58,700 --> 00:20:01,580 amazing how fair people can be. 214 00:20:18,350 --> 00:20:23,670 Oh, who needs money when we're funny? 215 00:20:24,050 --> 00:20:30,790 Great attraction everywhere will be Simon Smith and his dancing bear. It's 216 00:20:30,790 --> 00:20:35,950 Simon Smith and his amazing dancing bear. 217 00:20:37,150 --> 00:20:39,470 Together! Yes! 218 00:20:50,380 --> 00:20:56,900 Hey, Waldorf, I was wondering if maybe you... Vern, I better get some new 219 00:20:56,900 --> 00:20:58,260 batteries for my hearing aid. 220 00:20:59,380 --> 00:21:01,260 I fool him every time. 221 00:21:06,120 --> 00:21:10,380 Okay, Muppet Glee Club, Muppet Glee Club on stage, please. Muppet Glee Club, 222 00:21:10,540 --> 00:21:13,480 okay. All right, everybody in position, please. 223 00:21:13,800 --> 00:21:15,720 Okay, everybody ready? 224 00:21:16,980 --> 00:21:18,100 The Muppet Glee Club. 225 00:21:19,159 --> 00:21:20,900 One and two and. 226 00:21:24,220 --> 00:21:25,220 Wait, 227 00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:27,660 wait, wait. Something is amiss here. 228 00:21:28,020 --> 00:21:29,260 I thought it was lovely. 229 00:21:29,740 --> 00:21:31,640 You made that stick wonderful. 230 00:21:32,100 --> 00:21:35,240 Well, when it comes to stick waving, Kermit wrote the book. 231 00:21:35,460 --> 00:21:39,280 Well, thank you. Thank you. I do appreciate the kind comment, but I would 232 00:21:39,280 --> 00:21:41,660 to point out to all assembled here that this is a glee club. 233 00:21:42,010 --> 00:21:46,270 Oh, yes, that is what our letterhead says. Yes, so when I wave the stick so 234 00:21:46,270 --> 00:21:48,250 wonderfully, I would like to hear something. 235 00:21:49,010 --> 00:21:51,610 We were remiss in that regard. 236 00:21:51,970 --> 00:21:53,830 Okay, here we go. One more time. 237 00:21:54,070 --> 00:21:55,070 The Muppet Clicquot. 238 00:21:55,650 --> 00:22:02,150 One, and two, and... Over hill, over dale, we will hit the dusty trail 239 00:22:02,150 --> 00:22:03,490 as the case thaws. 240 00:22:03,870 --> 00:22:07,010 Wait, wait, wait. Hold, hold, hold. Hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it. 241 00:22:07,590 --> 00:22:09,330 How shall I say this? 242 00:22:09,530 --> 00:22:10,990 Excuse me, friends, but... 243 00:22:11,440 --> 00:22:16,020 To my ears, at least, it would help a lot if you were all singing the same 244 00:22:16,360 --> 00:22:17,360 Oh, I love it. 245 00:22:17,700 --> 00:22:20,180 Why? The fog is a genius. 246 00:22:21,020 --> 00:22:25,360 See, it really doesn't matter what song you sing as long as we all agree to the 247 00:22:25,360 --> 00:22:26,480 song that we are going to sing. 248 00:22:26,700 --> 00:22:29,800 Okay. Okay. Now, does anybody here have a favorite song? 249 00:22:30,060 --> 00:22:31,060 Yes. 250 00:22:31,660 --> 00:22:33,640 What song is that? 251 00:22:34,540 --> 00:22:35,540 Temptation. 252 00:22:37,149 --> 00:22:41,110 Since there seems to be some consensus of opinion here, the Muppet Glee Club 253 00:22:41,110 --> 00:22:43,190 will now render temptation. 254 00:22:45,110 --> 00:22:46,110 Piggy, honey? 255 00:22:46,130 --> 00:22:48,610 You can take this all off. Yes, my love. 256 00:22:49,630 --> 00:22:50,630 There we are. 257 00:22:50,810 --> 00:22:52,830 The Muppet Glee Club. 258 00:22:53,170 --> 00:22:56,480 Temptation. One, and two, and... 259 00:22:56,480 --> 00:23:01,080 I 260 00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:08,020 was alone. 261 00:23:09,020 --> 00:23:12,060 I should have known. 262 00:23:12,440 --> 00:23:15,760 You were temptation. 263 00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:20,440 You smiled. 264 00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:22,820 Very good. 265 00:24:46,679 --> 00:24:48,860 Oh, Kermit. I really enjoyed it. 266 00:24:49,060 --> 00:24:52,700 And as a little token of our appreciation, we have a Muppet -likeness 267 00:24:52,700 --> 00:24:53,700 right here. 268 00:24:53,780 --> 00:24:55,360 Oh, how sweet. 269 00:24:55,660 --> 00:24:59,380 I know you'd rather have the cash, but... No, no, no, Kermit. This is just 270 00:24:59,380 --> 00:25:02,720 wonderful. Can I come home with you? 271 00:25:03,020 --> 00:25:04,480 Well, of course you can. 272 00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:08,780 She's not as pretty as you, you know, but... Oh, Kermit. Thank you. 273 00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:11,260 Ooh, thank you. 274 00:25:11,620 --> 00:25:15,140 And thank you all for joining us. We'll see you all next time on The Muppet 275 00:25:15,140 --> 00:25:16,140 Show. 276 00:25:54,580 --> 00:25:55,580 What do you think? 277 00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:58,040 It's sitting home watching television. 278 00:25:58,400 --> 00:25:59,400 No, no, no, no. 20695