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All language subtitles for The Muppet Show - s04e23 - Diana Ross

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,500 --> 00:00:08,680 Hi, I'm Brian Henson. 2 00:00:08,940 --> 00:00:12,560 This episode of The Muppet Show stars former Supreme Diana Ross. 3 00:00:12,840 --> 00:00:17,680 In this episode, she performs Love Hangover, which features the largest 4 00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:22,040 ever made. They're called the Gawky Birds and the Bossmen. The Bossmen are 5 00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:23,040 really tall ones. 6 00:00:23,140 --> 00:00:27,240 And the way they're performed is really cool. The puppeteers stand behind the 7 00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:31,120 characters dressed in black, working controls that are painted black, so you 8 00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:34,220 don't actually even see the puppeteers. It's an amazing effect. 9 00:00:36,140 --> 00:00:39,580 In this episode of The Muppet Show, the audience is so packed with Diana Ross 10 00:00:39,580 --> 00:00:43,800 fans that they hate everything except for her. Right now the score is Diana 11 00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:45,500 10, Muppets 3. 12 00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:50,200 They even hate those singing fish, the Gills Brothers, and Fozzie doing what 13 00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:52,220 be his shortest comedy act ever. 14 00:00:54,580 --> 00:01:01,000 Here it is, The Muppet Show with Diana Ross. 15 00:01:04,819 --> 00:01:05,820 Oh, Diana. 16 00:01:06,140 --> 00:01:08,860 Diana Ross, 15 seconds to curtain, Diana. 17 00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:13,180 Thank you, Scooter. Thank you. Scooter, by the way, who put this thing in my 18 00:01:13,180 --> 00:01:13,999 dressing room? 19 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:17,900 Oh, well, I did, because Kermit told me wherever you go, you have a big fan 20 00:01:17,900 --> 00:01:18,900 club. 21 00:01:21,420 --> 00:01:23,400 I just said there'd be shows like this. 22 00:01:26,980 --> 00:01:30,380 It's the Muppet Show with our very special guest star, Diana Ross. 23 00:02:01,610 --> 00:02:03,410 inspirational, inspirational, inspirational. 24 00:04:49,420 --> 00:04:51,380 One to ten, we give it a three. 25 00:04:55,700 --> 00:04:58,060 Well, maybe it wasn't that good. Let's give it a one. 26 00:05:11,840 --> 00:05:13,160 It's rough out there. 27 00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:16,840 Yeah, it's a very strange audience. I'm sorry about that. We had to go through a 28 00:05:16,840 --> 00:05:17,840 lot of work. 29 00:05:30,730 --> 00:05:31,730 You're what? 30 00:08:08,860 --> 00:08:10,800 I don't know. I don't know. 31 00:09:18,440 --> 00:09:20,500 out there and I want to thank you for warming them up for me. 32 00:09:22,780 --> 00:09:26,560 They're so terrific. They're the best. When they love you, they don't hold 33 00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:30,620 When they hate you, they don't hold back either. 34 00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:24,800 Kermit, first I want to tell you, that audience is so great out there. I really 35 00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:26,420 do love doing this show. It's the best. 36 00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:32,180 Yeah, well, they certainly love you a lot. It's just, well, it's just us that 37 00:11:32,180 --> 00:11:33,180 they hate. 38 00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:38,540 Oh, no, Kermit, Kermit, you have to win them over. Maybe you have to send in one 39 00:11:38,540 --> 00:11:40,380 of your surefire acts like Vets Hospital. 40 00:11:40,580 --> 00:11:41,199 That'll work. 41 00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:42,119 Vets Hospital? 42 00:11:42,120 --> 00:11:44,840 Yeah. Now, that's a good idea, Vets Hospital. That's where Dr. 43 00:11:45,100 --> 00:11:48,560 Bob and Nurse Peggy and Nurse Janice run out there and they tell those awful, 44 00:11:48,660 --> 00:11:49,660 awful jokes. 45 00:11:53,310 --> 00:11:56,370 Well, what about Swedish Chef? 46 00:11:56,970 --> 00:12:00,410 Swedish Chef? Yes, Swedish Chef. A hilarious cooking lesson. 47 00:12:00,630 --> 00:12:04,470 Yes, with somebody, this guy that you can't understand making this food that 48 00:12:04,470 --> 00:12:05,470 can't eat. 49 00:12:07,290 --> 00:12:08,650 Hmm, not so good, huh? 50 00:12:09,090 --> 00:12:10,190 Well, let's see. 51 00:12:10,930 --> 00:12:12,610 What else you got? 52 00:12:13,570 --> 00:12:14,570 Pigs in Space? 53 00:12:46,250 --> 00:12:49,530 Careful, that's a solid gold disposable lighter. 54 00:12:50,430 --> 00:12:51,910 Oh, don't worry. 55 00:12:52,130 --> 00:12:54,210 I'm an expert at these kind of things. 56 00:12:54,510 --> 00:12:56,990 Hmm, maybe First Mate Piggy could help. 57 00:13:21,699 --> 00:13:22,699 Touchy, touchy. 58 00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:26,620 Yeah, and that wasn't the audience. 59 00:13:26,940 --> 00:13:28,940 Your gas lighter sprung a leak. 60 00:13:29,260 --> 00:13:32,360 Oh, is it? Oh, I dropped it. Oh, I'll get it. 61 00:13:32,740 --> 00:13:37,080 It dropped over here by the tank of nitroglycerin. Oh, do you want a 62 00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:38,200 It's dark under there. 63 00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:39,580 I'll just strike a match. 64 00:16:14,830 --> 00:16:17,490 I like it. Can I sing along with you a little bit? Oh, would you? Thank you. 65 00:16:18,270 --> 00:16:22,410 Last time I saw him, he sweetly kissed my lips. 66 00:16:23,330 --> 00:16:27,230 Last time I saw him, he said, I'll be back for more of it. 67 00:16:27,810 --> 00:16:32,530 Hi! Last time I saw him, we were crying at the bus. 68 00:16:33,190 --> 00:16:37,510 I knew he hated leaving, but he had to set us up. 69 00:16:38,850 --> 00:16:40,350 I gave him money. 70 00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:07,420 except, well, things like you. 71 00:17:07,640 --> 00:17:09,319 Oh, things like me? 72 00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:13,800 Well, do you think we can go out there and sing this song? We're just messing 73 00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:16,200 around, rehearsing a little bit. That would be wonderful. 74 00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:17,440 Just one second. 75 00:17:17,640 --> 00:17:18,640 Oh. 76 00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:29,980 He's stupid enough to go out there and face that audience. 77 00:19:32,460 --> 00:19:36,140 I'll do it, Kermit. I've got the ultimate act. But I'm going to need a 78 00:19:36,140 --> 00:19:37,140 typewriter for it. 79 00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:39,960 Well, Gonzo, we don't have a typewriter. Then I'll... 80 00:20:52,110 --> 00:20:52,849 on the stage. 81 00:20:52,850 --> 00:20:55,230 And I really do think he deserves another chance. 82 00:20:55,630 --> 00:20:56,770 Who's she talking about? 83 00:21:22,030 --> 00:21:23,130 in the dressing room right before we came. 84 00:21:24,590 --> 00:21:25,770 That's a terrible joke. 85 00:21:26,030 --> 00:21:28,330 That's the best joke I've ever heard. I can't do that joke. 86 00:21:28,690 --> 00:21:30,530 Oh, come on. It's a good one. Give it a try. Come on, please. 87 00:21:30,810 --> 00:21:31,810 Okay, stick close. 88 00:21:31,910 --> 00:21:32,910 Okay. 89 00:21:33,430 --> 00:21:34,470 Ha, ha, ha, ha. 90 00:21:35,510 --> 00:21:36,510 Hiya, hiya, hiya. 91 00:21:36,670 --> 00:21:39,510 Hey, have you heard about the new soft drink they're making? 92 00:21:56,650 --> 00:22:00,610 drink they're making just for frogs it's called croca -cola 93 00:22:00,610 --> 00:22:05,870 how 94 00:22:05,870 --> 00:22:12,730 did you do that well fozzie see it's very simple you 95 00:22:12,730 --> 00:22:16,330 see i think that uh telling comedy you know doing comedy jokes and things like 96 00:22:16,330 --> 00:22:19,510 it's just like singing really all you have to do is let the audience know that 97 00:22:19,510 --> 00:22:23,730 you're reaching out to them and in return they reach right back to you just 98 00:22:23,730 --> 00:22:24,730 this 99 00:22:34,860 --> 00:22:41,860 if you can reach out and touch somebody and 100 00:22:41,860 --> 00:22:47,080 make this world a better place if you can 101 00:25:13,100 --> 00:25:16,680 Thank you very much. I just love your Coca -Cola joke. 102 00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:17,779 Oh, good. 103 00:25:17,780 --> 00:25:19,380 Yeah, yeah. Of course I get a better one. 104 00:25:20,360 --> 00:25:21,299 Yeah. Okay. 105 00:25:21,300 --> 00:25:25,240 Great. Okay, here we go. Have you heard about the new soft drink made out of 106 00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:30,240 acorns? No. Tell me about the new soft drink made out of acorns. It's called... 8197