All language subtitles for The Muppet Show - s04e10 - Lola Falana

Hi, I'm Brian Henson.

The Great Gonzo is one of our most
popular characters.

He's also one of our weirdest.

My father first built the original Gonzo
for a special called The Great Santa

Claus Switch.

They called him Cigar Box Freckle
because he lived in a cigar box.

When The Muppet Show started, performer
Dave Goels turned this puppet into The

Great Gonzo, a daredevil obsessed with
both art and danger.

Looks like it's another wipeout for
Gonzo.

But throughout the first season, Gonzo's
drooping eyelids tended to make him

look sad.

So Dave Goels rebuilt the puppet himself
with moving eyelids so that he could be

the artistic maverick he was meant to
be.

From that point on, the character
literally took off.

That was easy, wasn't it?

Here he is, the great Gonzo and the
Muppet Show.

Lola Falana?

15 seconds to curtain, Lola. Thank you.

Tell them I'm sick. Anything. Just get
me out of it.

Oh, sorry, Scooter. Just talking to my
agent. What did you say?

I said 15 seconds to curtain.

Thank you, darling.

You got to work fast, Bernie. You only
got 15 seconds.

It's the Muppet Show with our very
special guest star, Lola Falana.

Hey, don't start on our account.

It's time to get things started on the
most inspirational, inspirational,

celebrational, motivational, this is
what we call our web show.

I give autographs after the show.

And it's going to be a great show
tonight because our special guest star

wonderful singer, dancer, and comedian,
Miss Lola Falana.

But first, I have an important
announcement to make.

Tonight is the last show for Gonzo the
Great.

Gonzo, come on out here.

Thank you.

Love ya.

It is true. This is it, Kerm. Yes,
folks, believe it or not, Gonzo is

us. He's going to Bombay, India to
become a movie star.

Yep, I got an offer from 20th Century
Chicken.

Gonzo, we wish you all the luck in the
world.

Well, thanks, Kerm. Hey, listen, I want
you to know I'm never going to forget

all you little people I met along the
way.

Thanks. It ain't nothing, really.

True.

Anyhow, here for Gonzo's last show is an
opening number by his favorite people,

the Muppet Chickens.

and think of some other people I'd
rather see leave the show. Who?

Me.

I can't believe he's leaving.

Watch the crying girls. You'll get
depressed and start to molt.

Okay, the one octopus band on stage,
please.

Okay, Herbie, get out there. Get out
there. Move it, move it, move it.

Why don't I meet you up in the dressing
room, honey?

Thank you, babe.

Gonzo, I was just talking about you.

Yeah, in fact, she said you were a
little blue... Don't you have to go on

and wave your arms or something?

Sure.

Gonzo, I am just so proud of you and
your movie deal.

Oh, well, I guess it was... Just in the
cards, M .P.

Yes, yes, and I just want you to know
that, you know, at your movie studio, if

you should ever happen upon a producer
who is looking for a sex goddess... Yes,

I'll know just who to call.

Thank you. Camilla.

What? That little chicky babe is
dynamite. She makes most movie queens

pigs.

Here she is, one of the top all around.

The place was so boring, filled with out
-of -town restoring.

from his head.

I've got a slip disco.

Oh,

Camilla, Camilla, Camilla, love you,
baby.

Hey, as soon as I get my mansion and
limousine, I'm going to send for you.

Oh, yes.

Okay, everybody.

Lola, that was great.

Thank you, thank you, Colonel, but I
couldn't have done it without Gonzo.

baby, put it here. Huh? Right here. I
have worked with some of the biggest,

you're right up there with the best.

Stop by my dressing room. I want to give
you my phone number.

Hey, I'll be there, babe.

Oh, Gonzo,

you got to get on stage to do your last
number for us. Oh, sure, babe.

I got to admit, though, it's going to
seem strange not working for you, KF.

It's going to be strange for us, too,
Gonzo.

No regrets.

Well,

one regret.

Oh? I never did my masterpiece act for
you.

Oh, what's that?

I sing Top Hat while tap dancing in a
vat of oatmeal.

It's an act worthy of your talent,
Gonzo. And of your show.

Touché.

Well, folks, as I've already told you,
our master of culture and violence is

moving on to other things.

So let's give a big warm hand for this,
his farewell appearance on The Muppet

Show, Gonzo the Great.

with John.

my share of losing.

And now, as tears subside, I find

it all so amusing to

think I did all that.

And may I say, not in a shy way,

oh no.

Gonzo?

Are you okay, Gonzo?

It's just a song.

I know.

It's not the song.

I just don't want to go.

Yeah, but you're going to go out and
make movies.

I want to go there.

I just don't want to leave here.

You had a choice to make, Gonzo, and you
made it, and it was a good choice.

I know.

I don't like long goodbyes, Gonzo, so,
uh...

Take care of yourself, Gonzo. You too.

We've had a little change of plans.

I think we'd better just take a break.

we ever forget him? Who?

You know, what's his name?

So, Chief, did you find a replacement
for Gonzo? A replacement?

Gee, Scooter, how could you possibly
replace somebody like Gonzo? Easy.

I know somebody who'd probably be
perfect.

You do?

Sure. He's the best friend of my uncle.
The best friend of the man who owns this

theater? The best friend of the man you
own three months back rent to.

Sounds very talented.

What's his name?

Trevor the Gross!

Ta -da!

When do I start?

Uh, well, probably right away, Trevor.

Come on, Trevor, we'll clean out Gonzo's
dressing room. Uh, fine, but you'll

probably need shovels.

I'll probably need shovels!

Oh, my whole life is passing before my
eyes.

today. The Marathon Tree Staring
Contest.

For more than 87 hours, Klaus Mueller of
West Paraguay has been trying

to outstare that tree. It's the classic
confrontation.

Man of Gateswood.

Wait a minute.

Yes, the tree is beginning to crack.

Gracias, senor.

I'll personally see to it that his widow
gets the money.

But he wasn't married.

Shut up.

Donso?

What are you doing in there? I thought
you were on your way to Bombay, India to

become a movie star.

I was, but then I got this telegram.

To Gonzo the Great, care of Muppet Show,
thought we were hiring other performer

named Gonzo the Mediocre.

Contract canceled.

So, oh, don't worry. Come on, I'm sure
Kermit will give you a job right back.

No, they already replaced me with this
dumb -looking bird.

They're cleaning out my dressing room.
They threw out my mildew collection.

I'll never work again.

Oh, no, there must be other shows you
could work on.

Oh, it's hopeless.

The great Gonzo is... Fini.

Oh, no, wait.

Before you quit, there's one more thing
you should try.

What's that?

Smile.

Though your heart is aching, smile.

Even though it's breaking.

Even when clouds...

are high in the sky at the time you must
keep on smiling smile

what's the use in crying you'll see your
sun come

shining through if you just light

up the life with gladness hide every
trace of sadness

May Luke ever...

You feel better now?

Of course.

Now I can smile my way through the rest
of my miserable life.

I think you missed the point.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, as we all
know, there is no way we will ever

Gonzo the Great. You tell him, Kermit.

But that doesn't mean we won't try.

Yes, the man who plans to fill Gonzo's
shoes is even now standing in the wings.

Later, Camilla, you cute little doll. I
gotta go on stage now.

So here he is now, ladies and gentlemen,
Trevor the Gross.

Thank you, thank you.

Ladies and gentlemen, I, Trevor the
Gross, will now sing Top Hat while tap

dancing in this vat of oatmeal.

That does it. All right, stop.

You can steal my job. You can steal...

Gonzo, will you get off the stage?

No!

Close the curtain!

Close the curtain!

Close the curtain!

Now, Gonzo, what is this all about?

Well, my film deal fell through, but I'm
willing to accept my old position back.

Yeah, but, Gonzo... Oh, please, Kermit,
kiss, kiss, grubble, grubble. Stop

kissing my flipper. Gonzo, have you no
dignity?

Of course not. How long have we worked
together?

Uh, hi, listen, everything's just all
right.

Come on, do something. They're getting
mean out there.

Listen, I promised the Oatmeal Act to
Trevor.

That's right, and I won't give it up. I
love the Oatmeal Act.

Sick 'em, girls!

What? Hey, stop!

Wait, no!

You can have the Oatmeal Act.

Oh, I guess it's over. Gonzo, you get
ready. I'll go introduce you.

Please, I'm sorry for the delay. I'm
happy to announce the return engagement

Gonzo the Great. Are you ready back
there, Gonzo? Okay.

Okay. Who will sing Top Hat while tap
dancing in a vat of oatmeal?

and milk and brown sugar.

Yeah, we're going to eat our way through
to him.

Close the curtains! Close the curtains!

What are they doing with those spoons?

Graping the bottom of the barrel.

I'm not surprised. That's how they get
all their acts.

I got some raisins. I'll bring them.

Oh, boy. What a disaster.

What a mess.

Gonzo, you're a mess.

I tell you, everything's gone wrong.

Comet?

important thing would be that Gonzo is
back.

You know, you're right, Lola.

Gonzo, it's nice to have you back.

Oh, well, let's face it. I wouldn't
really want to be anyplace else. That's

nice thing you say, Gonzo.

In fact, there's nowhere in the world
that I would rather be

than with you, my love.

Oh, God.

And there's nothing in the world that I
would rather see than your smile,

my love.

For united we stand, divided we fall.

And if our backs should ever be against
the wall, we'll be together.

We stand, divided we fall, and if our
backs should

ever be against the wall, we'll be
together, together,

you and me.

for another show. But before we go, let
us say thank you to our wonderful guest

star, ladies and gentlemen, Lola Felana.
Yay!

Thank you. Thank you, Colonel.

You know, it's been just wonderful being
a part of reuniting this great, big,

wonderful family.

Oh! Miss Piggy, you're standing on my
foot!

The wimp is back!

Hey, don't call him a wimp!

You know, Gonzo would have been perfect
for that movie he was going to star in.

What movie was that?

The Revenge of the Little Blue Geek.