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All language subtitles for The Muppet Show - s04e04 - Crystal Gayle

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,700 --> 00:00:05,600 Crystal Gale, 15 seconds to curtain, Crystal. 2 00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:09,160 Oh, thanks, Scooter. Would you do me a favor and cue me on my line? 3 00:00:09,380 --> 00:00:10,380 Well, sure. 4 00:00:11,020 --> 00:00:14,680 Uh, Crystal Gale, 15 seconds to curtain, Crystal. 5 00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:17,820 Thanks, Scooter. Would you do me a favor and cue me on my line? 6 00:00:18,280 --> 00:00:19,280 Perfect. 7 00:00:21,340 --> 00:00:23,540 If it helps any, I didn't understand that either. 8 00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:30,000 It's the Muppet Show with our very special guest star, Crystal Gale. 9 00:00:54,480 --> 00:00:55,720 Why did you invite these penguins? 10 00:00:55,980 --> 00:00:57,680 Because the aardvarks have the flu. 11 00:00:59,060 --> 00:00:59,580 Thank 12 00:00:59,580 --> 00:01:19,220 you, 13 00:01:19,220 --> 00:01:23,160 thank you, thank you, and welcome again to the Muppet Show. We call it that 14 00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:24,160 because, um... 15 00:01:24,300 --> 00:01:27,780 Well, we call it that because the whole show is just filled with Muppets, plus 16 00:01:27,780 --> 00:01:32,100 one human being. And tonight it's a very special human being, the lovely 17 00:01:32,100 --> 00:01:36,720 recording artist Miss Crystal Gale. But first, but first we present an old 18 00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:37,760 German folk song. 19 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:41,740 And it's not from West Germany. It's not from East Germany. It seems to be from 20 00:01:41,740 --> 00:01:43,240 South Germany. 21 00:01:43,580 --> 00:01:44,580 Why not? 22 00:01:53,740 --> 00:01:57,220 I love you, my dear old Swanee. 23 00:01:57,500 --> 00:02:04,060 I give the world to be among the folks 24 00:02:04,060 --> 00:02:07,040 in B -I -X -I -E. 25 00:02:28,250 --> 00:02:29,250 Swanee! 26 00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:34,250 We are coming back to Swanee! 27 00:02:34,810 --> 00:02:35,810 Mummy! 28 00:02:37,190 --> 00:02:38,190 Daddy! 29 00:02:39,370 --> 00:02:42,790 I love the old fox at home. 30 00:03:36,940 --> 00:03:39,500 that number? I can't talk about it. Why not? 31 00:03:39,740 --> 00:03:41,520 I still have relatives in Germany. 32 00:03:44,900 --> 00:03:50,340 Somebody stole my gal. 33 00:03:52,300 --> 00:03:55,660 Somebody stole my pal. 34 00:03:57,640 --> 00:04:01,440 Somebody came and took her away. 35 00:04:02,020 --> 00:04:05,740 Hi there, Scooter. Oh, hi, Kermit. Hey, the Prairie Dog Glee Club really sounds 36 00:04:05,740 --> 00:04:07,910 good. Yeah, well, they've been working really hard. 37 00:04:08,110 --> 00:04:11,130 Yeah, they're still working pretty hard. 38 00:04:12,010 --> 00:04:13,010 Scooter, what are they doing? 39 00:04:13,310 --> 00:04:14,970 Guys, come on, cut it out. 40 00:04:16,329 --> 00:04:17,510 Then take five. 41 00:04:18,269 --> 00:04:22,450 I mean, stop it. 42 00:04:22,770 --> 00:04:26,590 I'm sorry, Kermit. I guess they've got a little pack rat blood in them. They 43 00:04:26,590 --> 00:04:27,590 keep stealing everything. 44 00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:32,020 We can't have this on the show, Scooter. No. 45 00:04:32,360 --> 00:04:34,760 You better talk to him. I got to go introduce Crystal Gale. 46 00:04:35,220 --> 00:04:36,260 Okay, guys. 47 00:04:36,680 --> 00:04:40,420 I'm going to count to three, and I want to see everything just in the place it 48 00:04:40,420 --> 00:04:41,700 was. Okay? 49 00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:45,340 One, two, three. 50 00:04:48,860 --> 00:04:49,860 What the hay? 51 00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:58,040 Okay, well, enough of this nonsense. It is sanity time here on the Muppet Show. 52 00:04:58,390 --> 00:05:01,610 And here is our very special guest star, ladies and gentlemen, the lovely Miss 53 00:05:01,610 --> 00:05:02,610 Crystal Gale. 54 00:05:08,770 --> 00:05:15,330 Once again, with my suitcase in my hand, I'm 55 00:05:15,330 --> 00:05:18,810 running away down the river road. 56 00:05:19,930 --> 00:05:22,670 And I swear, once again. 57 00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:05,420 With my suitcase in my hand, I'm running away down 58 00:06:05,420 --> 00:06:06,420 the road. 59 00:06:07,380 --> 00:06:10,660 And I swear once again. 60 00:07:23,880 --> 00:07:26,100 Haven't changed my socks since World War II. 61 00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:30,260 Last night for dinner, I ate a French potion. 62 00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:39,200 There she goes home again With her suitcase in her hand No more 63 00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:45,940 running away down River Road And I swear once 64 00:07:45,940 --> 00:07:46,940 again 65 00:08:15,310 --> 00:08:17,710 me the time I ran away from home. When was that? 66 00:08:17,990 --> 00:08:20,230 Last night. The wife was driving me crazy. 67 00:08:21,870 --> 00:08:22,870 Okay, 68 00:08:23,770 --> 00:08:25,850 nice number, guys. Very pretty, Crystal. 69 00:08:26,670 --> 00:08:27,669 Hey, boss? 70 00:08:27,670 --> 00:08:29,830 Okay, yeah, the Prairie Dog Glee Club's ready. 71 00:08:30,070 --> 00:08:33,330 Oh, good. I'll schedule their number in the second half of the show. Good. Uh, 72 00:08:33,530 --> 00:08:37,010 did you talk to them about stealing, though? Yeah, but I think you better 73 00:08:37,010 --> 00:08:40,530 to them. I mean, after all, you are the head honcho. I think they'd listen to 74 00:08:40,530 --> 00:08:42,530 you. Okay. Hey, fellas? 75 00:08:43,330 --> 00:08:44,960 Uh, Kermit wants to talk to you. 76 00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:47,040 Listen, 77 00:08:47,220 --> 00:08:49,420 gang, it's not nice to take other people's things. 78 00:08:49,680 --> 00:08:51,960 You see, that's called stealing. 79 00:08:54,780 --> 00:08:55,780 Guys! 80 00:08:58,840 --> 00:08:59,880 They've taken everything! 81 00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:03,280 Gee, 82 00:09:04,620 --> 00:09:06,720 boss, I've never seen you naked before. 83 00:09:13,580 --> 00:09:16,280 It's me, Miss Gail Beauregard de Janidor. 84 00:09:18,780 --> 00:09:22,220 What can I do for you, Beauregard? 85 00:09:22,620 --> 00:09:28,680 Well, um... Could I have your autograph? 86 00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:30,200 Yes, you can. 87 00:09:37,560 --> 00:09:38,580 Here you go. 88 00:09:39,220 --> 00:09:40,220 Okay, thank you. 89 00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:42,820 Wait, this is not... 90 00:09:43,470 --> 00:09:44,730 It's upside down. 91 00:09:47,110 --> 00:09:52,390 How did you do that? 92 00:09:54,710 --> 00:09:58,630 And now, Pigs in Spain! 93 00:10:04,750 --> 00:10:05,750 Listen, 94 00:10:06,570 --> 00:10:09,130 the warning buzzer. Someone's outside the door. 95 00:10:33,930 --> 00:10:40,710 Yes, I'm afraid he's... I'm resting. That was a difficult thing 96 00:10:40,710 --> 00:10:41,710 to plan. 97 00:10:41,970 --> 00:10:44,430 You must tell us, who has breached our security? 98 00:10:44,630 --> 00:10:46,390 Who is outside of our door? 99 00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:07,480 What shall we do? 100 00:11:07,880 --> 00:11:09,080 What can we do? 101 00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:11,740 Link's mommy wanted on the bridge. 102 00:11:14,380 --> 00:11:15,780 Good morning, cousin. 103 00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:17,160 Is it the other door? 104 00:11:56,430 --> 00:12:00,470 For this week's Pigs in Space! 105 00:12:10,250 --> 00:12:16,570 Lone Shark from Cincinnati, who comes daily to his fishery. Fish is what he 106 00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:19,390 eats. Listen to this story. 107 00:12:27,959 --> 00:12:30,360 Shrimps and rice are very nice. 108 00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:35,620 Hold tight, hold tight, hold tight, hold tight, food rack a second. Want some 109 00:12:35,620 --> 00:12:37,040 seafood, Mama? 110 00:12:38,040 --> 00:12:44,040 Codfish and sauce, and then of course, I like oysters, lobsters too. I like my 111 00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:50,520 tasty bit of fish. When I come home from work at night, I get my favorite dish, 112 00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:56,260 fish. Hold tight, hold tight, hold tight, hold tight, food rack a second. 113 00:12:56,260 --> 00:12:57,260 some seafood? 114 00:12:59,180 --> 00:13:01,180 Shrimps and rice, they're very nice. 115 00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:12,500 Hey, this is my kind of song. 116 00:13:21,660 --> 00:13:23,860 What's G -Food, Mama? 117 00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:26,960 Shrimps and rice, they're very nice. 118 00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:33,960 Want some seafood, mama? 119 00:13:34,980 --> 00:13:40,920 Codfish and sauce, and of course, I like kippers, mackerel too. And I like my 120 00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:42,400 tasty bit of fish. 121 00:13:42,660 --> 00:13:47,800 When I come home from work at night, I get my favorite dish, fish. 122 00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:53,280 Hold tight, hold tight, hold tight, hold tight, food, Rakusaki. Want some 123 00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:54,800 seafood, mama? 124 00:13:55,700 --> 00:13:56,720 Shrimps and rice? 125 00:13:57,140 --> 00:13:58,140 Very nice. 126 00:14:09,230 --> 00:14:10,390 Is that you, Kermit? 127 00:14:11,310 --> 00:14:12,310 Yes, 128 00:14:13,890 --> 00:14:14,569 ma 'am. 129 00:14:14,570 --> 00:14:16,470 Do you often wear a bag over your head? 130 00:14:16,930 --> 00:14:20,210 Those dumb prairie dogs, they took away my collar. So? 131 00:14:20,510 --> 00:14:24,230 Well, you wouldn't want me to go around naked, would you? Well, no, it's family 132 00:14:24,230 --> 00:14:26,190 show. It used to be. 133 00:14:27,930 --> 00:14:31,470 Hey, we can put something else around your neck. We can find it. 134 00:14:31,850 --> 00:14:36,250 Yeah, well, my other collar's at the cleaners. Well, let's find it. Look at 135 00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:37,250 dog. 136 00:14:37,530 --> 00:14:38,530 Hey. 137 00:14:39,370 --> 00:14:41,570 I don't know. I feel kind of dumb. 138 00:14:41,950 --> 00:14:42,950 No. 139 00:14:44,010 --> 00:14:46,150 Why do you look dumb? 140 00:14:49,390 --> 00:14:52,850 Come back here. 141 00:14:53,530 --> 00:14:55,550 Oh, dear. I don't think I helped any. 142 00:14:58,790 --> 00:15:00,410 Dick. Pop. 143 00:15:00,650 --> 00:15:02,450 Dick. Pop. 144 00:15:02,810 --> 00:15:07,770 60 seconds got together and they decided to become a minute. 145 00:15:12,140 --> 00:15:15,960 and got together and they decided to become an hour. 146 00:15:16,560 --> 00:15:17,820 Talk. Talk. 147 00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:25,940 24 hours kept ticking away and they all voted to call 148 00:15:25,940 --> 00:15:32,700 it a day. But darling, in a day there wasn't time to say how much 149 00:15:32,700 --> 00:15:34,740 I love you. 150 00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:40,440 They convinced and got together and they decided to become a week. 151 00:15:44,430 --> 00:15:48,830 As they grew and grew, then 52 weeks decided to become a year. 152 00:15:51,190 --> 00:15:57,870 That's why 60 seconds every minute, 60 minutes every hour. Every hour, every 153 00:15:57,870 --> 00:16:02,230 day, every day, every week. Every week and a half. 154 00:16:22,540 --> 00:16:24,620 Did you want to see me, Miss Piggy? Yes, come in, come in. 155 00:16:25,160 --> 00:16:28,560 Can I talk to you from here? No, no, I want to show you something. Now get in 156 00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:29,560 here. 157 00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:32,580 See, I can explain about this outfit. 158 00:16:32,940 --> 00:16:34,760 Who cares about your silly costume? 159 00:16:35,060 --> 00:16:36,019 Look at this. 160 00:16:36,020 --> 00:16:38,840 See my black wig that I wear for Latin numbers? It's missing. 161 00:16:39,460 --> 00:16:41,140 And my long lavender gloves. 162 00:16:41,340 --> 00:16:43,980 And my simulated pearls. Everything is all gone. 163 00:16:44,340 --> 00:16:47,420 Well, you see, I've got to go out on stage and make an introduction. I'll 164 00:16:47,420 --> 00:16:48,420 explain to you later. 165 00:16:51,740 --> 00:16:53,040 Explain to me now. 166 00:16:53,900 --> 00:16:56,480 You see, we've got, on the show, we've got these prairie dogs. 167 00:16:57,060 --> 00:16:58,260 What? Yeah. 168 00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:32,820 peek out here and introduce our next act. 169 00:17:33,100 --> 00:17:36,760 It is the barbershop harmonies of our own singing prairie dog. 170 00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:41,860 They're really terrific, so hang on to your hats, and you might also keep an 171 00:17:41,860 --> 00:17:44,140 on your wallets. Ladies and gentlemen, the singing prairie dog! 172 00:18:47,020 --> 00:18:48,060 all put you under arrest. 173 00:18:49,340 --> 00:18:53,920 Wait, wait, wait, Deputy Bear. Surely you're not arresting these cute little 174 00:18:53,920 --> 00:18:55,720 things there as common thieves? 175 00:18:56,340 --> 00:18:57,780 But I have witnesses. 176 00:18:58,160 --> 00:18:59,160 The bear's right. 177 00:18:59,220 --> 00:19:00,580 The prairie dogs are thieves. 178 00:19:24,010 --> 00:19:24,469 I'm Dr. 179 00:19:24,470 --> 00:19:29,950 Bunsen Honeydew, this is Muppet Labs, and I'm Tickled Pink to announce our 180 00:19:29,950 --> 00:19:31,670 solution to the banana problem. 181 00:19:33,590 --> 00:19:39,870 As you know, once removed from the bunch, bananas cannot be 182 00:19:39,870 --> 00:19:40,910 reinserted. 183 00:19:43,690 --> 00:19:50,550 This results in extra bananas lying around underfoot, 184 00:19:50,630 --> 00:19:52,690 where they can be hazardous to your health. 185 00:19:57,610 --> 00:20:02,190 Such problems disappear with our new electric banana sharpener. Show them, 186 00:20:02,210 --> 00:20:03,210 Beaker. 187 00:20:09,650 --> 00:20:10,390 Say 188 00:20:10,390 --> 00:20:17,050 goodbye forever 189 00:20:17,050 --> 00:20:19,050 to dull bananas. 190 00:20:19,810 --> 00:20:26,250 With this equipment, you can store bananas on any convenient vertical 191 00:20:30,860 --> 00:20:33,700 You can even throw a whole bunch this way. 192 00:20:38,020 --> 00:20:42,420 And that's all for today from Muppet Lab. 193 00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:51,060 Ladies and gentlemen, Kermit's having what you might call costume problems 194 00:20:51,060 --> 00:20:54,520 tonight, so he's asked me to introduce our very special guest star again. 195 00:20:54,820 --> 00:20:55,940 Is the scenery ready? 196 00:20:57,680 --> 00:21:00,220 Here she is again, Miss Crystal Gale. 197 00:21:40,190 --> 00:21:44,130 We must believe in magic. 198 00:21:44,490 --> 00:21:47,450 We must believe in the guy. 199 00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:56,340 universe at your command. 200 00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:29,200 Thank you. 201 00:23:02,060 --> 00:23:08,440 If you believe in magic, you have the universe at your mouth. 202 00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:03,380 end of another one, but before we go, sorry. 203 00:24:05,580 --> 00:24:06,580 Okay, okay. 204 00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:09,720 Well, we've just about come down to the end of another one, but before we go, 205 00:24:09,880 --> 00:24:13,060 let us have a warm thank you for our very special guest star, ladies and 206 00:24:13,060 --> 00:24:14,640 gentlemen, Miss Crystal Gale. 207 00:24:15,380 --> 00:24:22,240 Thank you, Carmen, for a lovely evening. 208 00:24:22,480 --> 00:24:25,080 Oh, it's been our pleasure, and instantly you can have your feather bowl 209 00:24:25,180 --> 00:24:26,180 Oh, wait. 210 00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:37,720 What's going on? 211 00:25:13,780 --> 00:25:15,640 Well, so much for the prairie dogs. 212 00:25:15,920 --> 00:25:17,980 Yeah, now we gotta worry about termites. 15285