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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,430 --> 00:00:05,590 Leslie Uggams, 15 seconds to curtain, Miss Uggams. 2 00:00:05,810 --> 00:00:06,930 Thank you, Scooter. 3 00:00:07,190 --> 00:00:11,910 It is true that Big Bird from Sesame Street is on the show tonight, right? 4 00:00:12,210 --> 00:00:13,210 Well, that's right, Leslie. 5 00:00:13,310 --> 00:00:17,470 Well, would you tell him that his younger brother is in my dressing room? 6 00:00:23,110 --> 00:00:27,090 It's the Muppet Show with our very special guest stars, Leslie Uggams and 7 00:00:27,090 --> 00:00:28,130 Bird of Sesame Street. 8 00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:52,660 It's time to put on makeup. 9 00:00:52,940 --> 00:00:54,600 It's time to dress up right. 10 00:00:55,020 --> 00:00:56,820 It's time to get things started. 11 00:00:57,120 --> 00:00:59,100 Why don't you get things started? 12 00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:01,420 Bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark, bark. 13 00:01:03,640 --> 00:01:07,080 It's time to get things started on the most sensational, inspirational, 14 00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:11,160 celebrational, motivational, this is why. 15 00:01:24,910 --> 00:01:28,970 again to the Muppet Show, and we've got some show for you tonight, because our 16 00:01:28,970 --> 00:01:33,650 special guest is the lovely singer, dancer, and actress, Miss Leslie Uggams. 17 00:01:33,650 --> 00:01:37,130 also, making a special appearance tonight is a friend of mine from Sesame 18 00:01:37,130 --> 00:01:38,490 Street, Big Bird. 19 00:01:39,130 --> 00:01:41,410 Oh, hey, Kermit, now, huh, now? 20 00:01:41,870 --> 00:01:45,350 Not yet, Big Bird, you come on a little later in the show. Oh, okay, I'll just 21 00:01:45,350 --> 00:01:51,590 wait back here then. Yeah, just watch out for the overhead light. 22 00:01:53,770 --> 00:01:57,010 Anyhow, now, ladies and gentlemen, our very special guest, Miss Leslie Ogham. 23 00:02:28,780 --> 00:02:33,260 Good times, here I am. Welcome back to your baby land. 24 00:02:33,500 --> 00:02:37,900 Open wide them golden doors and set my chair down. 25 00:02:58,570 --> 00:02:59,570 And show me. 26 00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:32,570 Thank you. 27 00:05:06,030 --> 00:05:08,770 Well, that number shows what a great actress Leslie Uggams is. 28 00:05:09,310 --> 00:05:11,970 Actress? She wasn't acting. She was singing. 29 00:05:12,270 --> 00:05:14,290 Yes, but she looked like she enjoyed it. 30 00:05:14,690 --> 00:05:15,690 That's acting. 31 00:05:19,150 --> 00:05:20,750 Okay, nice number. 32 00:05:21,630 --> 00:05:23,270 Very good, Leslie. 33 00:05:23,970 --> 00:05:25,550 Who stepped on your toe? 34 00:05:25,870 --> 00:05:28,170 What? Who stepped on your toe? 35 00:05:28,570 --> 00:05:29,570 I did. 36 00:05:34,860 --> 00:05:37,040 need me, I'll be in Camilla's dressing room. 37 00:05:37,260 --> 00:05:38,480 Oh, Camilla, Camilla the chicken? 38 00:05:38,820 --> 00:05:41,320 Yeah, yeah. Oh, I'm so nervous. 39 00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:45,420 Tonight's our first formal date, and I'm almost sick with fear. 40 00:05:45,660 --> 00:05:47,560 Well, I imagine she feels much the same. 41 00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:49,560 You think so? 42 00:05:50,020 --> 00:05:51,020 Oh, boy. 43 00:05:51,100 --> 00:05:53,500 Suppose I get so excited that I faint. 44 00:05:54,260 --> 00:05:57,860 Conzo, I just don't know. I suppose she'll have to give you mouth -to -mouth 45 00:05:57,860 --> 00:05:58,860 resuscitation. 46 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:00,680 She'll have to what? 47 00:06:01,740 --> 00:06:05,020 Oh, or in your case, mouth -to -beak resuscitation. 48 00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:09,200 Sansa, are you okay? 49 00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:12,660 Of course. I was just rehearsing my faint. 50 00:06:14,020 --> 00:06:16,040 I hope Camilla's been rehearsing hers. 51 00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:41,650 These are for you. 52 00:06:43,450 --> 00:06:49,030 Oh, gosh. 53 00:06:49,370 --> 00:06:51,730 I think the room is spinning. 54 00:07:10,060 --> 00:07:11,920 Aren't you going to kiss me? 55 00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:14,960 Great. 56 00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:19,760 Just my luck. A chicken with hay fever. 57 00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:30,360 Well, look, now, Camilla, Camilla, why don't I take you out for some fresh air, 58 00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:33,200 okay? That'll make it all better, okay? 59 00:07:47,950 --> 00:07:51,010 here at Muppet Labs where the future is being made today. 60 00:07:51,370 --> 00:07:56,030 Well, Jeepers, you're about to witness the world's first demonstration of 61 00:07:56,030 --> 00:07:57,030 fireproof paper. 62 00:07:57,210 --> 00:08:02,090 Here is my assistant beaker carrying a lighted blowtorch. He will now show you 63 00:08:02,090 --> 00:08:05,970 how impossible it is to ignite the fireproof paper in this basket. 64 00:08:08,750 --> 00:08:11,670 There is no way this paper can burn. 65 00:08:11,930 --> 00:08:15,310 With Muppet's fireproof paper, you will always feel secure. 66 00:08:16,060 --> 00:08:19,700 Tune in next time, and with this, Muppet Labs' new answer to the energy crisis, 67 00:08:20,060 --> 00:08:21,120 flammable water. 68 00:08:22,780 --> 00:08:24,680 That's all for now from Muppet Labs. 69 00:08:25,940 --> 00:08:31,800 What do you suppose they call that? A novelty act? 70 00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:33,960 I don't know, but it wasn't too bad. 71 00:08:34,260 --> 00:08:35,480 Well, that's a novelty. 72 00:08:52,970 --> 00:08:56,090 Yeah, we both come from the same neighborhood, Sesame Street. 73 00:08:56,990 --> 00:09:01,510 Oh, isn't that that cute little children's show with puppets? 74 00:09:01,970 --> 00:09:03,690 Uh -huh. Well, who are you? 75 00:09:05,450 --> 00:09:07,190 Who am I? 76 00:09:07,990 --> 00:09:10,670 I am Miss Piggy. 77 00:09:11,250 --> 00:09:14,230 Ah. Well, do you work around here? 78 00:09:22,570 --> 00:09:23,570 It's very pretty. 79 00:09:24,210 --> 00:09:26,750 And, uh, do you know why it is there? 80 00:09:27,170 --> 00:09:30,070 Well, uh... Hmm? Hmm? Perfect attendance? 81 00:09:33,170 --> 00:09:35,590 I am the singing star of this... 82 00:09:58,120 --> 00:09:59,560 She's very versatile. 83 00:10:02,100 --> 00:10:06,740 Oh, Leslie, it's really a pleasure to have you on the show with us. Well, 84 00:10:06,740 --> 00:10:10,600 you, Lou. And it's a thrill for me to work with a boomerang fish thrower. 85 00:10:10,660 --> 00:10:11,660 I should think so. 86 00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:17,220 Listen, Lou, what does it take to become a great boomerang fish thrower? 87 00:10:17,460 --> 00:10:19,020 Well, you gotta have soul. 88 00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:22,800 And if you can't get soul, use halibut. 89 00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:27,940 I shouldn't guess. But in that case, I use a catcher's mitt. 90 00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:32,620 Why? No, no, no. Don't tell me. Let me guess. Uh, just for the halibut? 91 00:10:33,340 --> 00:10:34,420 You're catching on. 92 00:10:35,580 --> 00:10:38,340 Listen, how did you acquire this talent? Was it an accident? 93 00:10:38,820 --> 00:10:40,000 No, it was on purpose. 94 00:10:41,660 --> 00:10:45,240 I give him the straight lines, and he gives me the fishing lines. 95 00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:51,120 Yeah. You know, I started this act using kippers. My brother and I did the act 96 00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:52,780 together, but we split up. 97 00:10:53,130 --> 00:10:56,090 Why? Hey, am I my brother's kipper? 98 00:10:57,390 --> 00:10:59,430 I got to quit this and sing my song. 99 00:10:59,750 --> 00:11:00,750 Oh, great idea. 100 00:11:01,110 --> 00:11:02,430 I'll accompany you on this. 101 00:11:03,590 --> 00:11:06,910 Well, Lou, I was kind of expecting violins. 102 00:11:07,390 --> 00:11:09,050 Well, what's that? Yeah. 103 00:11:11,210 --> 00:11:13,150 Here you come again. 104 00:11:14,850 --> 00:11:21,710 Looking better than a body has a right to. And shaking me up so that all... 105 00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:24,620 It's here you come again. 106 00:11:25,740 --> 00:11:27,520 And here I go. 107 00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:30,600 Two at once. 108 00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:38,980 of a sardine. What? 109 00:12:39,200 --> 00:12:40,480 It's a little fishy. 110 00:12:43,180 --> 00:12:50,120 Mad about the frog. 111 00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:54,660 I know it's stupid to be mad about the frog. 112 00:12:55,660 --> 00:13:01,760 I'm so ashamed of it, but must admit the sleepless nights 113 00:13:01,760 --> 00:13:04,180 I've had about the frog. 114 00:13:06,860 --> 00:13:13,240 On the silver screen, he melts my foolish heart in every little scene. 115 00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:20,860 Although I'm quite aware that here and there are traces of the 116 00:13:20,860 --> 00:13:22,560 cat about the frog. 117 00:13:24,380 --> 00:13:27,820 Lord knows I'm not a frog girl. 118 00:13:28,100 --> 00:13:31,060 I really shouldn't care. 119 00:13:31,620 --> 00:13:35,060 Lord knows I'm not his... 120 00:13:49,890 --> 00:13:54,310 I'm feeling quite insane. 121 00:14:23,470 --> 00:14:29,010 I'm feeling quite insane and young again. 122 00:14:47,150 --> 00:14:48,150 On patrol. 123 00:14:51,230 --> 00:14:52,770 All right, all right, come on. 124 00:14:53,130 --> 00:14:55,330 You just come with me, you, you, you. 125 00:14:55,610 --> 00:14:59,150 Sir, sir, sergeant, I have just picked up... Wait a minute, patrol bear. 126 00:14:59,470 --> 00:15:01,090 I have to finish this report. 127 00:15:03,490 --> 00:15:07,530 Oh, drat, I made a mistake. Now I'll have to start all over again. 128 00:15:08,910 --> 00:15:10,970 But, sir, can't that report wait? 129 00:15:11,270 --> 00:15:12,870 No, this is a very serious charge. 130 00:15:13,150 --> 00:15:14,190 What is it? Littering. 131 00:15:17,520 --> 00:15:20,900 This also is a very serious charge. Oh, yeah? What's the charge? 132 00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:22,640 Impersonating an officer. 133 00:15:22,980 --> 00:15:24,160 Can you prove it? 134 00:15:24,380 --> 00:15:27,800 Of course I can prove it, Sergeant. Go ahead. Do your stuff. 135 00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:30,180 Okay. Impersonating an officer. 136 00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:33,200 Ah. 137 00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:36,420 Of course I can prove it, Sergeant. Go ahead. Do your stuff. 138 00:15:38,220 --> 00:15:39,760 Hey, that's not bad. 139 00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:41,140 Thank you. 140 00:15:41,380 --> 00:15:45,220 Now, look, Sergeant. This is a very dangerous criminal. 141 00:15:45,460 --> 00:15:46,660 He should be locked up. 142 00:15:46,910 --> 00:15:48,430 I think he should be locked up. 143 00:15:48,630 --> 00:15:49,630 Here are the keys. 144 00:15:50,130 --> 00:15:52,710 I'll finish up the report. I'm going to lock him up. 145 00:15:53,650 --> 00:15:57,630 Well, I should have known better than to try to fool with you, patrol bear. 146 00:15:58,210 --> 00:16:04,470 Yeah, you're darn tootin'. After you. Thank you. 147 00:16:04,770 --> 00:16:07,350 Listen, tell me what kind of food you like. 148 00:16:10,730 --> 00:16:12,130 See you later, Sarge. 149 00:16:19,150 --> 00:16:20,610 Oh, wait a minute. He locked me in. 150 00:16:21,250 --> 00:16:23,810 Not bad. You sound more like him all the time. 151 00:16:24,770 --> 00:16:25,930 Now try to do me. 152 00:16:27,750 --> 00:16:28,870 Sergeant, you don't understand. 153 00:16:29,090 --> 00:16:30,090 He got away. 154 00:16:30,290 --> 00:16:31,470 No, that's not me. 155 00:16:32,010 --> 00:16:35,010 You still sound like a dumb bear that brought you in here. 156 00:16:35,930 --> 00:16:38,610 Try it again. I have a deep, authoritative voice. 157 00:16:39,330 --> 00:16:41,170 Sergeant, will you just turn around, please? 158 00:16:41,730 --> 00:16:43,250 Better, but keep trying. 159 00:16:43,990 --> 00:16:45,610 You need more macho. 160 00:16:49,939 --> 00:16:55,100 Tell me, Gonzo, what is it about Camilla that first attracted you to her? Are 161 00:16:55,100 --> 00:16:56,100 you kidding? 162 00:16:56,140 --> 00:17:01,660 Everything. She's beautiful, witty, charming, delightful company, a good 163 00:17:01,780 --> 00:17:03,300 and she's very talented. 164 00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:05,579 Really? What does she do? 165 00:17:06,119 --> 00:17:07,119 Camilla! 166 00:17:10,020 --> 00:17:14,339 Oh, wow! 167 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:19,900 Well, I would have thought that was impossible. What, to get a chicken to 168 00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:22,260 No, to find tap shoes for clothes. 169 00:17:26,599 --> 00:17:28,980 Hello, I am Vindawish. 170 00:17:29,380 --> 00:17:33,060 Deposit a coin and I will answer any wish you may have. 171 00:17:37,140 --> 00:17:41,600 Thank you. Now please state your wish and I will grant it. 172 00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:43,580 Oh, I wish I was taller. 173 00:17:43,860 --> 00:17:45,000 Taller? Yeah. 174 00:17:59,820 --> 00:18:01,600 I have written a song for you. 175 00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:06,900 Oh, Sinatra or Mick Jagger will probably want to record it, but I want you to 176 00:18:06,900 --> 00:18:08,100 hear it from me first. 177 00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:17,300 You alone, you are my one and only 178 00:18:17,300 --> 00:18:19,520 chicken, Eddie. 179 00:18:20,740 --> 00:18:26,860 And if you leave, I will alone and lonely, sick and red. 180 00:18:34,610 --> 00:18:37,190 We're a team and that's a fact. 181 00:18:38,410 --> 00:18:41,190 You and I. 182 00:18:43,170 --> 00:18:46,370 What a terrific idea for an act. 183 00:18:46,990 --> 00:18:49,090 Oh, listen to the rhymes in the chorus. 184 00:18:49,290 --> 00:18:51,610 It's very Cole Porter -y. Camilla. 185 00:18:52,770 --> 00:18:54,570 You're sweeter than wine or vanilla. 186 00:18:55,150 --> 00:18:56,150 Camilla. 187 00:18:58,870 --> 00:19:02,190 Come lie beneath the tree and so we'll lie. 188 00:19:03,179 --> 00:19:04,179 Camilla. 189 00:19:07,180 --> 00:19:08,180 Camilla. 190 00:19:12,300 --> 00:19:18,400 You're prettier by far than Godzilla. 191 00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:20,720 Camilla. 192 00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:24,080 Who are you? 193 00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:25,640 Huh? Me? 194 00:19:25,940 --> 00:19:26,940 Wow. 195 00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:29,980 Perfection incarnate. 196 00:19:31,380 --> 00:19:34,900 Statuesque. and yet still poultry in every sense. 197 00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:40,560 You have that one thing lacking in chickens. 198 00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:42,880 Bulk. 199 00:19:43,300 --> 00:19:44,680 I'm so confused. 200 00:19:45,260 --> 00:19:47,180 You are so huge. 201 00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:53,500 I have no idea what you're talking about, sir. I was just looking for Miss 202 00:19:53,500 --> 00:19:55,440 Uggams. And you found me. 203 00:19:56,240 --> 00:20:00,560 Lady Luck had smiled and showered us with that certain thing. 204 00:20:04,330 --> 00:20:05,330 Flower pot. 205 00:20:10,790 --> 00:20:14,090 Oh, please, Dr. Honeydew, I can't go through life with this long neck. 206 00:20:14,330 --> 00:20:19,710 Never fear. At Muppet Labs, we have done extensive research on shortening long 207 00:20:19,710 --> 00:20:24,650 neck. Then you can help? Of course. This is our latest therapy technique. 208 00:20:33,629 --> 00:20:35,230 It's all in a day's work. 209 00:20:37,470 --> 00:20:38,470 Please, 210 00:20:39,470 --> 00:20:42,610 Dr. Honeydew, don't leave a mess backstage. If you're through playing 211 00:20:42,670 --> 00:20:43,670 put him away. 212 00:20:47,210 --> 00:20:51,990 And now, once again, here is our very special guest who will be joined by a 213 00:20:51,990 --> 00:20:54,650 tall, feathered friend who just wandered in off the street. 214 00:20:55,050 --> 00:20:56,510 Sesame Street, to be precise. 215 00:20:57,110 --> 00:20:59,690 Ladies and gentlemen, Big Bird and Leslie Uggams. 216 00:21:31,470 --> 00:21:38,210 Stop, stop, because I really love you. Stop, stop, I've been thinking of you. 217 00:21:38,370 --> 00:21:42,190 Look in my heart and let love keep us together. 218 00:22:02,510 --> 00:22:08,970 Don't mess around, we just got to be strong Just stop, stop, cause I really 219 00:22:08,970 --> 00:22:15,370 you Stop, stop, I'll be thinking of you Look in my heart and let love 220 00:22:15,370 --> 00:22:16,730 keep us together 221 00:22:44,780 --> 00:22:46,820 You'll be long to me now. 222 00:22:47,620 --> 00:22:50,280 Ain't gonna set you free now. 223 00:22:50,900 --> 00:22:54,060 When those birds start hanging around. 224 00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:55,920 Talking me down. 225 00:22:56,180 --> 00:23:00,680 Here with your heart and you won't hear a sound. Just stop, stop. 226 00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:04,160 Cause I really love you. Stop, stop. 227 00:23:04,380 --> 00:23:10,600 I'll be thinking of you. Look in my heart and let love keep us together. 228 00:23:37,770 --> 00:23:41,870 Come down to the end of another one. But before we go, let us have a warm thank 229 00:23:41,870 --> 00:23:45,250 you for our very special guest, our lovely Leslie Odom. Thank 230 00:23:45,250 --> 00:23:52,450 you, 231 00:23:52,450 --> 00:23:56,250 Kermit. Listen, chicky babe, you've got to forgive me. I'll never talk to 232 00:23:56,250 --> 00:23:57,250 another chicken again. 233 00:23:57,650 --> 00:23:59,190 Oh, hi, Camilla. 234 00:24:02,320 --> 00:24:05,420 You're quite a shocker. I thought that Camilla was your one true love. 235 00:24:05,700 --> 00:24:06,700 Oh, yeah. 236 00:24:06,820 --> 00:24:09,500 Well, chickens all look the same to me. 237 00:24:13,900 --> 00:24:18,520 Girls, please. Well, I'd like to thank a really different -looking chicken, Big 238 00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:19,760 Bird from Sesame Street. 239 00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:21,900 Oh, thank you, thank you. 240 00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:25,660 We'll see you next time when I'm up with dogs. 241 00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:10,340 Have we ever said that this show is for the birds? 242 00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:13,140 Yes, and we'll keep saying it until it gets a laugh. 17841