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All language subtitles for The Muppet Show - s03e18 - Lesley Ann Warren

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,310 --> 00:00:03,390 Leslie Ann Warren. 2 00:00:03,690 --> 00:00:05,850 20 seconds to curtain, Miss Warren. 3 00:00:06,130 --> 00:00:10,930 Okay, thank you. Thank you, Scooter. Good luck to both of you. Good luck to 4 00:00:10,930 --> 00:00:11,930 of us. 5 00:00:12,230 --> 00:00:13,990 Don't use us, good luck. 6 00:00:14,210 --> 00:00:15,330 We got talent. 7 00:00:15,590 --> 00:00:16,970 We got drive. 8 00:00:17,350 --> 00:00:18,850 We got charisma. 9 00:00:19,270 --> 00:00:21,350 Don't use us, good luck. 10 00:00:25,690 --> 00:00:27,090 Wish me luck. 11 00:00:33,100 --> 00:00:36,280 with our very special guest star, Leslie Ann Warren. 12 00:00:38,280 --> 00:00:38,800 I'm 13 00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:52,000 going 14 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:53,100 to play the music. 15 00:00:53,360 --> 00:00:55,040 It's time to light the light. 16 00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:58,360 It's time to meet the Muppets on the Muppet show tonight. 17 00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:01,380 It's time to put on makeup. 18 00:01:01,930 --> 00:01:03,390 It's time to dress up right. 19 00:01:03,770 --> 00:01:05,610 It's time to get things started. 20 00:01:05,870 --> 00:01:07,890 Why don't you get things started? 21 00:01:12,330 --> 00:01:15,890 It's time to get things started on the most sensational, inspirational, 22 00:01:16,430 --> 00:01:17,930 celebrational moment. 23 00:01:34,060 --> 00:01:38,020 Hey, we hope you're as glad to see us as we are to see us, among other people. 24 00:01:39,940 --> 00:01:43,440 Anyhow, tonight we've got a real treat for you because our very special guest 25 00:01:43,440 --> 00:01:47,460 stars are that world -famous knife -throwing act, Leslie and Warren. 26 00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:52,860 But first... Kermit! What is it, Scooter? Only one of them showed up. 27 00:01:53,060 --> 00:01:56,300 What? How can you have a knife -throwing act with only one person? Where's the 28 00:01:56,300 --> 00:01:56,919 other one? 29 00:01:56,920 --> 00:01:59,900 I don't know. Maybe he had an accident on the last gig. 30 00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:05,480 Well... As I was saying, we have a really terrific show tonight with our 31 00:02:05,480 --> 00:02:07,540 special guest star, Leslie Ann Warren. 32 00:02:08,759 --> 00:02:09,979 Wait a minute, aren't you? 33 00:02:10,780 --> 00:02:12,200 I am a guest star. 34 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:14,160 Oh, my goodness, Leslie Ann Warren! 35 00:02:18,660 --> 00:02:19,660 Well, 36 00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:22,420 wait a minute, you're not Leslie Ann Warren. 37 00:02:22,660 --> 00:02:25,980 You're Leslie Ann Warren, the actress, the dancer, the singer. 38 00:02:26,460 --> 00:02:27,460 Thank you. 39 00:02:27,620 --> 00:02:29,700 Well, so how come you're doing a dumb knife -throwing act? 40 00:02:31,530 --> 00:02:34,810 You know, Kermit, I thought you were the one person on this show who wasn't 41 00:02:34,810 --> 00:02:36,370 crazy. Me not crazy? 42 00:02:36,590 --> 00:02:37,630 I hired the others. 43 00:02:38,730 --> 00:02:42,490 But listen, just come backstage, and we'll sort this whole thing out. In the 44 00:02:42,490 --> 00:02:45,090 meanwhile, I'll leave you in the company of the great Gonzo! 45 00:02:53,710 --> 00:02:55,910 Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. 46 00:02:56,330 --> 00:03:00,530 This evening, I will perform a feat of lunatic daring. 47 00:03:02,190 --> 00:03:07,670 Before your very eyes, I will ride this motorcycle up this ramp and jump 48 00:03:07,670 --> 00:03:13,270 directly into that box, landing safely between those two elderly gentlemen. 49 00:03:13,810 --> 00:03:17,790 What? Oh, I can assure you, you'll be in no danger. 50 00:03:18,130 --> 00:03:19,950 You're right. We'll be in Chicago. 51 00:03:20,370 --> 00:03:25,710 For their own safety, while they were dozing, I took the precaution of 52 00:03:25,710 --> 00:03:26,890 them to their chairs. 53 00:03:27,270 --> 00:03:28,270 What? 54 00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:46,480 First, 55 00:03:48,920 --> 00:03:52,140 I accidentally introduced Leslie Ann Warren as a knife -throwing act, and 56 00:03:52,140 --> 00:03:53,140 Konzo does that. 57 00:03:53,310 --> 00:03:54,730 We are off to a crummy start. 58 00:03:55,190 --> 00:03:59,690 Oh, it's going to be a great act, Kermit, but something's wrong with my 59 00:04:00,130 --> 00:04:02,590 Don't. If I advance any more. 60 00:04:14,410 --> 00:04:18,130 I'm sorry about that confusion before, folks, but it is time now to bring out 61 00:04:18,130 --> 00:04:21,730 our very special guest star. Well, here we are, ready to go on. 62 00:04:23,370 --> 00:04:26,510 What are you two doing out here? We're the very special guest stars. 63 00:04:26,730 --> 00:04:28,990 Right, Leslie and Warren, the dancing cucumbers. 64 00:04:30,350 --> 00:04:32,530 See, he's Leslie, and I'm Warren. 65 00:04:33,590 --> 00:04:37,550 Yeah, yeah, but our special guest star is a big TV star that sings and dances 66 00:04:37,550 --> 00:04:38,590 and acts and does comedy. 67 00:04:38,890 --> 00:04:40,430 Yeah, but can she make salad? 68 00:04:41,570 --> 00:04:47,850 Ladies and gentlemen, Leslie Ann Warren. 69 00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:58,440 An interpretation of Beauty and the Beast by Ms. Leslie Ann Warren. 70 00:08:56,670 --> 00:08:58,570 How do they do that? 71 00:09:00,210 --> 00:09:01,210 Do what? 72 00:09:03,330 --> 00:09:07,890 Kermit, Kermit, Kermit. Hey, I got a message for you from Gonzo. Uh -oh, 73 00:09:07,890 --> 00:09:08,709 the bad news? 74 00:09:08,710 --> 00:09:10,050 Oh, no, it's good news. 75 00:09:10,470 --> 00:09:14,690 Yeah, Gonzo has half of his motorcycle jump perfected. Which hand? 76 00:09:15,090 --> 00:09:16,090 The takeoff. 77 00:09:16,470 --> 00:09:17,630 What about the landing? 78 00:09:17,950 --> 00:09:18,950 What? 79 00:09:28,940 --> 00:09:30,360 Standing still needs work. 80 00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:38,000 Now, pigs in space! 81 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:45,240 When last we left the spaceship Swine Trek, it was about to pass through a 82 00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:47,760 shower of mysterious dumbo rays. 83 00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:51,160 Dr. Strangepork, are dumbo rays dangerous? 84 00:09:51,700 --> 00:09:56,720 Well, not really, Link. They only affect creatures of very low intelligence. 85 00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:02,600 Miss Piggy, maybe you better lock yourself in a closet till we pass 86 00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:03,600 them. 87 00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:09,100 Très amusant, mon capitaine. 88 00:10:10,260 --> 00:10:15,100 We should be starting through them now. 89 00:10:15,500 --> 00:10:16,379 Oh, no. 90 00:10:16,380 --> 00:10:17,700 Yes, there they are. 91 00:10:18,120 --> 00:10:24,400 That's it, we're through them. 92 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:27,959 That wasn't so bad. 93 00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:32,820 Well, I told you, you really have to be stupid to be affected by dumbo rays. 94 00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:37,120 Link? 95 00:10:37,760 --> 00:10:39,440 Oh, no. 96 00:10:41,300 --> 00:10:42,300 Sorry. 97 00:10:45,260 --> 00:10:49,220 Does that mean... Yes. 98 00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:53,020 But the effect is only temporary, so don't... 99 00:11:29,870 --> 00:11:32,050 The victim becomes a tap dancer. 100 00:12:03,790 --> 00:12:08,030 to have an explanation for this week's eggs in spray. 101 00:12:10,050 --> 00:12:14,130 Okay. Ladies and gentlemen, the beautiful and talented Leslie Ann Warren 102 00:12:14,130 --> 00:12:16,230 accompanied by our very own Ralph. 103 00:12:25,450 --> 00:12:26,450 Where's Ralph? 104 00:12:26,650 --> 00:12:27,650 You're not Ralph. 105 00:12:27,990 --> 00:12:28,990 No. 106 00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:44,080 But where is Rob? 107 00:13:21,290 --> 00:13:23,670 by hitting Dad the creature? 108 00:13:24,710 --> 00:13:26,290 But that's cruel. 109 00:13:27,270 --> 00:13:29,310 Oh, it is cruel. 110 00:13:30,590 --> 00:13:36,410 You do not hear them complaining, do you? Shut up. 111 00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:40,610 Hey, listen, I'm sorry I'm late, but somebody locked me in my dressing room. 112 00:13:41,190 --> 00:13:42,190 Oh. 113 00:13:44,070 --> 00:13:45,070 I'm not sure. 114 00:13:58,020 --> 00:13:58,900 A little 115 00:13:58,900 --> 00:14:14,720 bit 116 00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:16,300 more light than that actually would be good 117 00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:24,220 It's a gorgeous little song here. Yeah, it's one of my favorites. 118 00:14:24,540 --> 00:14:25,720 Yeah, me too. 119 00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:27,160 Wow. 120 00:14:36,920 --> 00:14:42,460 Don't go changing To try to please me 121 00:14:42,460 --> 00:14:46,240 You never let me down 122 00:14:51,020 --> 00:14:57,180 Don't imagine you're too familiar and 123 00:14:57,180 --> 00:15:00,940 I don't see you anymore. 124 00:15:03,140 --> 00:15:09,820 I would not leave you in times of trouble. 125 00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:14,240 We never could have come apart. 126 00:15:15,420 --> 00:15:19,680 I took a good time. 127 00:15:21,390 --> 00:15:22,850 I'll take the bad time. 128 00:15:24,150 --> 00:15:26,030 I'll take you just... 129 00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:27,000 couldn't love you any better I 130 00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:30,560 love you just the way you are 131 00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:43,300 I 132 00:16:43,300 --> 00:16:47,500 couldn't love you 133 00:16:49,520 --> 00:16:50,680 And it better 134 00:17:24,839 --> 00:17:25,839 Me too. 135 00:17:26,579 --> 00:17:27,800 Are we in the right theater? 136 00:17:31,260 --> 00:17:34,860 And now for the second time this evening, the great Gonzo will attempt a 137 00:17:34,860 --> 00:17:38,740 motorcycle jump off of this stage into that box up there, landing safely 138 00:17:38,740 --> 00:17:40,240 those two elderly gentlemen. 139 00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:45,920 We're not afraid. We know Gonzo. If at first you don't succeed, fail, fail 140 00:17:45,920 --> 00:17:51,120 again. And so here he is now, ladies and gentlemen. I'm ready, Kermit. 141 00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:53,700 Yeah, I'm introducing you. Introduce fast. I'm really ready. 142 00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:55,000 Okay, ready or not. 143 00:18:19,370 --> 00:18:20,370 good -looking? 144 00:18:20,630 --> 00:18:21,730 Who is that? 145 00:18:22,070 --> 00:18:24,190 Well, that was my snappy opening line. 146 00:18:24,810 --> 00:18:26,330 Sort of an icebreaker. 147 00:18:27,650 --> 00:18:31,230 Well, I, um, I'd hate to break perfectly good ice. 148 00:18:31,890 --> 00:18:33,190 Uh, what? 149 00:18:34,930 --> 00:18:36,070 Wait a minute. 150 00:18:37,110 --> 00:18:39,650 Aren't you Link Hogthrob? 151 00:18:41,250 --> 00:18:47,230 I'm one of the stars of the show here. Perhaps you've admired me from afar? 152 00:18:51,820 --> 00:18:55,200 I'd really rather admire you from... from here. 153 00:18:55,900 --> 00:18:56,900 What? 154 00:18:57,520 --> 00:18:58,760 Maybe while we dance? 155 00:18:59,300 --> 00:19:05,220 Oh, well, uh... Actually, I'm not much of a dancer, and tonight's my night to 156 00:19:05,220 --> 00:19:08,240 bowling. This is the last dance. 157 00:19:08,660 --> 00:19:09,459 It is? 158 00:19:09,460 --> 00:19:10,560 Last dance. 159 00:19:24,999 --> 00:19:31,280 Romeo, tonight, I 160 00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:37,680 need you by me too. 161 00:20:24,330 --> 00:20:25,610 It's my last chance. 162 00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:47,460 Hi, Jim Cantaloupe. Well, I think it's just about time we called it a show, so 163 00:21:47,460 --> 00:21:48,540 it's a show. 164 00:21:49,620 --> 00:21:53,360 Anyhow, before we go, let's have a warm thank you for our very special guest, 165 00:21:53,420 --> 00:21:55,160 our ladies and gentlemen, Leslie Ann Warren. 166 00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:57,080 Um, 167 00:22:01,660 --> 00:22:05,500 you were introducing me, right? Not the dancing cucumbers? 168 00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:10,660 Oh, I'm sorry about that, Leslie. I mean, who knew there was an act called 169 00:22:10,660 --> 00:22:11,800 Leslie Ann Warren? 170 00:22:12,120 --> 00:22:13,120 Are you kidding? 171 00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:16,120 Us, Les, Lee, and Warren. 172 00:22:16,360 --> 00:22:17,480 Yup, that's us. 173 00:22:18,460 --> 00:22:19,620 Oh, I get it. 174 00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:23,160 Let me see. You're Les, you're Lee, and you're Warren. 175 00:22:24,940 --> 00:22:25,940 See? 176 00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:28,460 Yeah, by the way, who's the lady? 177 00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:32,780 I'm sorry about that, Leslie. We'll make it up to you somehow. 178 00:22:45,100 --> 00:22:49,900 Tomorrow at 7 on The Muppet Show, Harry Belafonte performs the famous Banana 179 00:22:49,900 --> 00:22:50,799 Boat song. 180 00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:55,500 Coming up next on Happy Days, join the gang for a look back at some of their 181 00:22:55,500 --> 00:22:57,220 favorite moments from the past. 182 00:23:13,770 --> 00:23:14,770 The show is beginning to roll. 183 00:23:15,090 --> 00:23:16,370 So is the motorbike. 12901