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All language subtitles for The Muppet Show - s03e13 - Gilda Radner

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,000 Oh, rats. 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:09,540 Hi, I'm Brian Henson. 3 00:00:09,780 --> 00:00:12,320 This episode of The Muppet Show stars Gilda Ratt. 4 00:00:15,180 --> 00:00:19,720 For me, one of the special moments to look out for in this episode is an 5 00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:21,260 version of Lullaby of Broadway. 6 00:00:21,620 --> 00:00:26,540 Come on along and listen to the Lullaby of Broadway. 7 00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:28,640 For me, this is... 8 00:00:28,910 --> 00:00:32,689 A nice piece because there's a penguin in that that I actually built at the 9 00:00:32,689 --> 00:00:37,190 time. And, of course, this episode also contains a wonderful classic Muppet 10 00:00:37,190 --> 00:00:38,190 misunderstanding. 11 00:00:38,490 --> 00:00:42,810 There's a moment where Gilda asks for a seven -foot parrot to appear with her. A 12 00:00:42,810 --> 00:00:44,310 seven -foot tall talking parrot? 13 00:00:44,730 --> 00:00:46,550 I wrote you in the letter. 14 00:00:46,790 --> 00:00:49,670 Well, I got your letter, but I couldn't quite read your handwriting. 15 00:00:51,150 --> 00:00:53,150 Parrot. What did you think I asked for? 16 00:00:56,110 --> 00:01:00,690 And as my father used to say, it's a perfectly terrible joke, but it's worthy 17 00:01:00,690 --> 00:01:02,670 us. Here it is, the Muppet Show. 18 00:01:05,730 --> 00:01:06,730 Gilda Radner! 19 00:01:07,010 --> 00:01:10,410 Gilda Radner! 30 seconds to curtain, Miss Radner! 20 00:01:10,690 --> 00:01:16,390 Well, Scooter, what's all this fuss I keep hearing about me doing the Muffin 21 00:01:16,390 --> 00:01:17,390 Show? 22 00:01:33,520 --> 00:01:35,740 show. It's the Muppet. 23 00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:06,900 lullaby from beyond the Antarctic Circle, or somewhere. 24 00:04:45,550 --> 00:04:46,550 Second Street. 25 00:05:53,070 --> 00:05:55,390 Well, I got your letter, but I couldn't quite read your handwriting. 26 00:05:56,710 --> 00:05:58,850 Parrot. What did you think I asked for? 27 00:05:59,070 --> 00:06:05,130 Well, I wasn't really sure, but I thought it was a... Never mind. 28 00:06:07,550 --> 00:06:10,930 Must I share my dressing room with the other vegetables? 29 00:06:14,650 --> 00:06:17,470 A seven -foot -tall talking carrot? 30 00:06:17,830 --> 00:06:18,970 Watch it, lady. 31 00:06:19,250 --> 00:06:22,250 I'm a star. I sang the hit song from Cold. 32 00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:29,520 call call porter call slaw they paid him a huge salary now she's stealing 33 00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:34,380 my jokes well i have to do something i don't have an opening number now why not 34 00:06:34,380 --> 00:06:37,260 well i was going to do selections from the parrot 35 00:07:05,770 --> 00:07:09,330 foolhardy enough to tackle the blinding complexity of the following musical 36 00:07:09,330 --> 00:07:13,130 number. But here she is, tempting fate, Miss Gilda Ratner! 37 00:07:17,030 --> 00:07:19,850 I am the very model of a modern major general. 38 00:07:20,070 --> 00:07:23,670 I've information, vegetable, animal, and mineral. I know the kings of England, 39 00:07:23,730 --> 00:07:29,050 and I quote the fight to Sarek. From Allelu to Allelu... Hold it, hold it, 40 00:07:29,050 --> 00:07:30,190 maestro, please. 41 00:07:30,730 --> 00:07:32,490 You blew it, my child. 42 00:07:33,110 --> 00:07:35,930 Never send a girl into... a carrot's work. 43 00:07:36,530 --> 00:07:40,390 If I knew a 12 -foot rabbit, you'd really be in trouble. 44 00:07:41,670 --> 00:07:44,190 Why don't we try an easy one, hmm? 45 00:07:44,950 --> 00:07:46,110 Maestro, please. 46 00:07:50,550 --> 00:07:57,430 When a carrot's not engaged in his employment, or maturing his felonious 47 00:07:57,430 --> 00:07:58,430 little plans, 48 00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:05,780 His capacity for innocent enjoyment Is just as great as any 49 00:08:05,780 --> 00:08:12,780 honest man Our feelings we with difficulty smother When our 50 00:08:12,780 --> 00:08:19,400 vegetarian duty's to be done I'll take one consideration with another 51 00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:23,500 A carrot's lot is not a happy one 52 00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:31,880 They travel with me everywhere. 53 00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:37,419 What do you got? A chauffeur -driven shopping cart? 54 00:08:39,020 --> 00:08:43,320 Why don't you just stand back and let me show you how it's done? 55 00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:50,620 I am the very model of a modern major general. I have information, vegetation, 56 00:08:50,940 --> 00:08:52,500 and the maple... Oh, potatoes. 57 00:08:52,740 --> 00:08:54,920 Hold it, hold it. See, you didn't make it either. 58 00:08:55,220 --> 00:08:57,240 Maybe I didn't want to make it. 59 00:08:59,500 --> 00:09:01,440 Why don't you sing, Gilda? 60 00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:09,020 Poor wandering one, though thou hast surely 61 00:09:09,020 --> 00:09:15,220 strayed, take heart and grace, thy steps retrace. 62 00:09:15,220 --> 00:09:18,700 Poor wandering one, 63 00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:25,600 poor wandering one, if such poor love... 64 00:09:54,250 --> 00:09:55,490 Vegetable, animal, and mineral. 65 00:09:55,730 --> 00:09:57,690 I know the kings of England. And I crucify historical. 66 00:09:58,150 --> 00:10:01,910 From Marathon to Waterloo in auto -categorical. And military knowledge, 67 00:10:01,910 --> 00:10:04,990 I'm plucky and adventuring. Has only been brought down to the beginning of 68 00:10:04,990 --> 00:10:06,610 century. But still it matters, vegetable. 69 00:10:06,870 --> 00:10:09,870 Animal and mineral. I am the very model of a modern native general. 70 00:10:10,090 --> 00:10:11,550 But still it matters, vegetable, animal. 71 00:10:26,410 --> 00:10:27,690 Music puts me right to sleep. 72 00:10:29,750 --> 00:10:31,010 You too, huh? 73 00:10:34,010 --> 00:10:36,750 Ladies and gentlemen, a Muppet melodrama. 74 00:10:37,590 --> 00:10:38,590 Help! 75 00:10:39,750 --> 00:10:45,950 And now, for the last time, my little peach pie, will you marry me? 76 00:10:48,990 --> 00:10:50,050 Drop dead! 77 00:10:51,170 --> 00:10:53,770 I think that might be my line. 78 00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:33,900 a double thing, though. 79 00:11:34,100 --> 00:11:36,340 Ah, quite simple, my boy, quite simple. 80 00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:38,840 Music, maestro, please. Music? 81 00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:45,700 Now, come to the Pascinato del Pondador. 82 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:42,160 Incomparable Marvin Suggs. I say incomparable because I can't imagine 83 00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:43,160 to compare him to. 84 00:15:20,590 --> 00:15:21,590 little bird. 85 00:16:23,210 --> 00:16:24,210 in vain. 86 00:17:12,140 --> 00:17:17,660 do here at muppet labs where the future is being made today and here with me is 87 00:17:17,660 --> 00:17:23,960 the lovely miss gilda radner today we have an amazing demonstration 88 00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:30,780 and gilda here has graciously volunteered to be our human guinea pig i 89 00:17:30,780 --> 00:17:37,680 that's settled then oh i shall need you too beaker come on in here now we're 90 00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:41,900 ready to begin uh listen dr honeydew you you said assistant i never heard you 91 00:17:41,900 --> 00:17:42,900 say the word guinea pig? 92 00:17:43,140 --> 00:17:46,740 Just put your head down here so Uncle Bunny can work on you. Well, you see, I 93 00:17:46,740 --> 00:17:50,280 don't mind assisting, but I'm not crazy about the idea of guinea pigging. Mm 94 00:17:50,280 --> 00:17:51,700 -hmm. There we go. 95 00:17:51,940 --> 00:17:52,940 There. 96 00:17:53,420 --> 00:17:59,000 I have just placed on Gilda's forehead a single teensy -weensy drop of Muppet's 97 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:00,000 new super adhesive. 98 00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:02,340 Now we'll wait a moment for it to get tacky. 99 00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:05,020 What are we waiting for? 100 00:18:05,220 --> 00:18:06,560 For it to get tacky. 101 00:18:06,880 --> 00:18:08,480 Well, another first on this show. 102 00:18:08,780 --> 00:18:09,579 How's that? 103 00:18:09,580 --> 00:18:12,330 Well, it's the first... time we've had to wait for it to get tacky. 104 00:18:14,670 --> 00:18:19,590 And with that single drop of glue, I shall stick this rope to Gilda's 105 00:18:19,770 --> 00:18:24,970 and then Beaker and I shall haul on the rope, thus lifting Miss Radner bodily 106 00:18:24,970 --> 00:18:27,510 off the floor. No, no, no, no, no. Wait a minute. 107 00:18:28,110 --> 00:18:31,970 That's okay, Gilda. That's all right. Now, Beaker, I hope you're feeling fit. 108 00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:42,080 Oh, there was glue on the rag. 109 00:18:43,540 --> 00:18:44,540 Oh, 110 00:18:44,840 --> 00:18:48,500 no, no, don't squeeze that tube. 111 00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:52,260 Oh, let me consult my notes. 112 00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:28,100 Mr. Scribbler, I'll ask her. Agilda! 113 00:19:30,100 --> 00:19:32,740 Agilda, a reporter would like to know, what is the secret of your success? 114 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:36,280 Can I talk to you for a second? Well, I guess you could just say that she has 115 00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:37,280 stuck with it. 116 00:19:38,120 --> 00:19:41,360 And in the little time I've known her, she's really cemented our friendship. 117 00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:16,720 control. 118 00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:46,720 Yeah, well, shouldn't he be further from the screen? 119 00:21:47,060 --> 00:21:49,760 No, his eyes are glued to the set. 120 00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:54,760 Mr. 121 00:21:55,880 --> 00:21:58,360 Posse, would you introduce the next member? 122 00:22:01,740 --> 00:22:02,740 Hi, 123 00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:06,680 we're having a little trouble back here, but that's okay, that's okay. 124 00:22:07,140 --> 00:22:10,680 Let's just give a great big hand for our very special guest star. 125 00:22:11,620 --> 00:22:13,400 Oh, no, my hand is stuck. 126 00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:47,280 and you pay. 127 00:24:00,140 --> 00:24:01,140 Your poor being. 9976