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All language subtitles for The Muppet Show - s03e11 - Raquel Welch

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,710 --> 00:00:06,970 Hi, I'm Brian Henson. 2 00:00:07,310 --> 00:00:10,950 This was one of Raquel Welch's first forays into song and dance. 3 00:00:14,030 --> 00:00:18,030 There's a couple of great moments from this show that I can never forget. One 4 00:00:18,030 --> 00:00:21,370 the opening number where she gets to dance with a giant spider. 5 00:00:21,750 --> 00:00:25,830 The spider was performed by Graham Fletcher, a dancer with the Royal Ballet 6 00:00:25,830 --> 00:00:26,828 England. 7 00:00:26,830 --> 00:00:32,150 Another great moment is when Raquel gets to sing her solo at the end, I'm a 8 00:00:32,150 --> 00:00:37,260 Woman. And not surprisingly, Miss Piggy feels threatened by having Raquel Welsh 9 00:00:37,260 --> 00:00:38,260 on the show. 10 00:00:38,300 --> 00:00:41,220 And she pushes in and forces the number into a duet. 11 00:00:44,100 --> 00:00:44,620 Here 12 00:00:44,620 --> 00:00:55,240 she 13 00:00:55,240 --> 00:00:58,900 is, the beautiful and sexy Raquel Welsh on The Muppet Show. 14 00:01:03,310 --> 00:01:08,410 Oh, Raquel Welch, 30 seconds to curtain, Miss Welch. The quality of mercy is not 15 00:01:08,410 --> 00:01:12,190 straying. It droppeth as a gentle rain upon the place beneath. 16 00:01:12,770 --> 00:01:13,950 Changing your image, huh? 17 00:01:14,770 --> 00:01:16,270 Yes, well, I was toying with the idea. 18 00:01:16,550 --> 00:01:19,850 Well, you do what you want, Miss Welch. On this show, you don't have to dress up 19 00:01:19,850 --> 00:01:21,890 in any of those scanty, revealing costumes. 20 00:01:22,230 --> 00:01:23,990 Oh, thank you, Scooter. 21 00:01:24,210 --> 00:01:25,810 Well, not unless you really want to. 22 00:01:27,430 --> 00:01:29,950 Well... Oh, please, Walter. 23 00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:39,220 with our very special guest star, Raquel Welch. Woo! 24 00:01:39,860 --> 00:01:40,860 Yeah! 25 00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:55,540 It's time to play the music. 26 00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:57,480 It's time to light the light. 27 00:01:57,860 --> 00:02:00,820 It's time to meet the Muppets on the Muppet Show tonight. 28 00:02:02,060 --> 00:02:03,860 It's time to put on makeup. 29 00:02:04,460 --> 00:02:05,860 It's time to dress up right. 30 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:08,060 It's time to get things started. 31 00:02:08,380 --> 00:02:10,320 Why don't you get things started? 32 00:02:44,710 --> 00:02:47,710 Pity we can't book an important guest star on this show. 33 00:02:48,890 --> 00:02:52,190 What are you saying, Piggy? Tonight we have an internationally acclaimed 34 00:02:52,190 --> 00:02:55,710 actress, singer, dancer, and one of the sexiest ladies alive. 35 00:02:56,670 --> 00:02:58,250 You get that every night, frog. 36 00:03:02,490 --> 00:03:06,750 Ignoring that, ladies, and particularly gentlemen, here she is, the curvaceous, 37 00:03:06,770 --> 00:03:09,430 the tantalizing, the desirable... Oh, the teeth. 38 00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:11,740 What now? She's changing her image. 39 00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:13,260 Changing her image? 40 00:03:13,520 --> 00:03:15,440 Yeah, she was just rehearsing Shakespeare. 41 00:03:17,700 --> 00:03:18,700 Well, 42 00:03:19,300 --> 00:03:25,500 ladies and gentlemen, one of cinema's leading dramatic actresses, the very 43 00:03:25,500 --> 00:03:27,740 erudite Miss Raquel Welch. 44 00:03:51,850 --> 00:03:56,530 You got the shake and I got the shimmy. You got the take and I got the gimme. 45 00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:59,550 And I don't want to go, but baby, you send me. 46 00:04:01,210 --> 00:04:06,210 You want it all and I want to give it. You have a dream and I want to live it. 47 00:04:06,230 --> 00:04:09,130 And I don't want to go, but baby, you send me. 48 00:04:13,310 --> 00:04:17,510 Baby, it's me and the same as you. The dreamer who dreams and the dream come 49 00:04:17,510 --> 00:04:18,510 true. 50 00:04:18,950 --> 00:04:22,130 I just wanted to meet someone just like you. 51 00:04:22,590 --> 00:04:24,490 Someone just like you. 52 00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:29,310 Tell my troubles to someone just like you. 53 00:04:56,620 --> 00:04:58,860 You have the spark, I've got the desire. 54 00:04:59,100 --> 00:05:04,260 The longer we burn, the higher the fire. Baby, take my heart, I want you to have 55 00:05:04,260 --> 00:05:05,260 it. 56 00:05:06,300 --> 00:05:08,520 Love is a storm that goes on forever. 57 00:05:08,780 --> 00:05:13,520 The more that it rains, the better the weather. Baby, take my heart, I want you 58 00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:14,520 to have it. 59 00:05:15,940 --> 00:05:20,140 Baby, it's me, I'm the same as you. A dreamer who dreams that the dream come 60 00:05:20,140 --> 00:05:24,720 true. Stole my life, I just wanted to meet someone just like you. 61 00:05:25,580 --> 00:05:29,400 Someone just like you who wants to love me too. 62 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:32,200 Someone just like you. 63 00:05:34,540 --> 00:05:35,740 Oh, yeah. 64 00:05:40,220 --> 00:05:41,020 You're 65 00:05:41,020 --> 00:05:54,060 perfect. 66 00:05:57,020 --> 00:05:59,860 Uh, I thought she was going to change her image. 67 00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:03,760 Well, well, she might be changing her image, but you wouldn't want her to 68 00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:04,760 the rest of that. 69 00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:09,960 Hey, hey, where's Fozzie? He's supposed to be on stage. 70 00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:12,620 Well, he must be late getting back from group. 71 00:06:13,020 --> 00:06:15,140 Group? Fozzie went to group therapy? 72 00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:18,980 Yeah, he wanted to learn to be more dominating. 73 00:06:19,340 --> 00:06:20,400 Open up doors! 74 00:06:21,290 --> 00:06:25,790 These doors will swing open to the force of my will and long. 75 00:06:28,190 --> 00:06:30,110 Okay, I'll open the doors. 76 00:06:32,770 --> 00:06:33,770 There. 77 00:06:34,850 --> 00:06:38,690 I opened the doors. And I wanted to. 78 00:06:39,450 --> 00:06:42,250 Thank you. It's a pity you couldn't open the show, too. 79 00:06:42,610 --> 00:06:49,110 Excuse me, Mr. Frog. I am an established artiste. I will not be treated like a 80 00:06:49,110 --> 00:06:51,840 newcomer. No, you'll be treated like a latecomer. 81 00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:57,320 Fonzie, are you trying to be pushy or something? 82 00:06:57,580 --> 00:06:58,259 Oh, no. 83 00:06:58,260 --> 00:06:59,260 I mean, yes. 84 00:07:00,300 --> 00:07:02,060 I am trying to be more decisive. 85 00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:04,960 Maybe. 86 00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:07,280 Fonzie, what are you doing? 87 00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:08,640 Oh, I'm not too sure. 88 00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:12,900 Oh, you see, my group leader told me to be more aggressive. 89 00:07:13,580 --> 00:07:14,680 Yes. Yes. 90 00:07:22,510 --> 00:07:23,510 Thank you. Thank you. 91 00:07:24,030 --> 00:07:27,370 Fozzie, why don't you just go sit quietly in your dressing room? 92 00:07:27,630 --> 00:07:33,330 Oh, no. Oh, no, not this time. Frog, this bear will never be pushed around or 93 00:07:33,330 --> 00:07:34,830 stepped on ever again. 94 00:07:35,570 --> 00:07:38,970 Hey, did somebody order raw eggs and chili peppers? 95 00:07:39,450 --> 00:07:40,970 Breakfast! Breakfast! 96 00:07:46,150 --> 00:07:49,990 I think I'll go sit. 97 00:07:50,250 --> 00:07:51,510 quietly in my dressing room. 98 00:07:54,510 --> 00:07:59,130 You could describe our next performer as a complete contrast to Miss Raquel 99 00:07:59,130 --> 00:08:02,770 Welch, but then again, you could also describe him as a complete contrast to 100 00:08:02,770 --> 00:08:04,390 every man, woman, and child on Earth. 101 00:08:05,530 --> 00:08:08,310 Here he is, ladies and gentlemen, Gonzo the Great. 102 00:08:13,950 --> 00:08:16,270 Lonely? Yeah, I get lonely. 103 00:08:18,050 --> 00:08:19,050 Sad? 104 00:08:23,790 --> 00:08:28,670 The things that you see to make life a jamboree. And I see cows playing cellos 105 00:08:28,670 --> 00:08:31,610 with bananas where their horns should be. 106 00:08:34,470 --> 00:08:40,990 And I see flags being waved by ducks in buckets and pigs drinking 107 00:08:40,990 --> 00:08:42,549 lemon tea. 108 00:08:44,210 --> 00:08:46,130 Jamboree. Jamboree. 109 00:08:46,390 --> 00:08:48,210 Jamboree. Jamboree. 110 00:08:48,470 --> 00:08:52,690 Find where you hide and look inside and you got a jamboree. 111 00:08:56,810 --> 00:09:01,890 If all you know are bad times, if all you see are walls, if you get your news 112 00:09:01,890 --> 00:09:05,210 from the Scots on your shoes, then that won't help at all, because you've got to 113 00:09:05,210 --> 00:09:10,630 see penguins throwing popcorn, chickens on a well -dressed moose, and 114 00:09:10,630 --> 00:09:17,310 you've got to see rats floating by on pink balloons, 115 00:09:17,610 --> 00:09:21,110 and fuzzy things on the loose. 116 00:09:22,550 --> 00:09:23,550 Jamboree! 117 00:09:48,229 --> 00:09:49,610 I'm a jamboree! 118 00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:14,379 less than that? 119 00:10:14,380 --> 00:10:16,820 Wrong. There's nothing less than that. 120 00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:22,640 Okay. Good job, baby. 121 00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:25,580 Yeah, very cute. Very cute. 122 00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:27,360 Sick, but cute. 123 00:10:27,840 --> 00:10:29,020 Sick, but cute? 124 00:10:29,820 --> 00:10:32,800 Uh, you guys are talking about me, huh? 125 00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:35,580 No. Uh, yeah. 126 00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:40,480 Hey, Comet, Comet, it's all right. 127 00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:42,920 No problem. I can take it. 128 00:10:44,780 --> 00:10:45,780 I can take it. 129 00:10:45,860 --> 00:10:48,240 Listen, Fozzie, are you ready to do your monologue now? 130 00:10:51,660 --> 00:10:52,660 No. 131 00:10:53,140 --> 00:10:55,100 No. I am not. I'm sorry. 132 00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:59,680 I'm through with all that. I do not need to buy friends with laughter anymore. 133 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:04,480 No. No. I am about to meet my true self. 134 00:11:06,420 --> 00:11:11,040 Of course you are. Yes. Well, I hope you'll be very happy together. Thank 135 00:11:12,260 --> 00:11:13,260 I'll just go. 136 00:11:13,310 --> 00:11:14,630 Cancel your act for tonight. 137 00:11:14,970 --> 00:11:16,730 Well, I'm sorry about that. 138 00:11:17,350 --> 00:11:19,370 Don't worry. We've all got our problems here. 139 00:11:19,590 --> 00:11:20,590 Yep, that sure is. 140 00:11:21,190 --> 00:11:24,530 See, my problem was my need to tell jokes. 141 00:11:24,750 --> 00:11:26,910 Yeah, that was our problem, too. 142 00:11:30,630 --> 00:11:35,510 Ladies and gentlemen, due to the indisposition of Fozzie Bear, there will 143 00:11:35,510 --> 00:11:37,350 comic monologue on this show. 144 00:11:43,390 --> 00:11:44,390 They want me. 145 00:11:44,770 --> 00:11:46,150 They like me. 146 00:11:46,730 --> 00:11:47,870 They need me. 147 00:11:48,510 --> 00:11:52,630 Hey, yeah, hey, yeah, hey, yeah. And so on with the mother. Hey, yeah, hey, 148 00:11:52,630 --> 00:11:55,610 yeah, hey, yeah, hey, yeah. Fonzie, what are you doing here? My monologue. 149 00:11:57,590 --> 00:11:59,690 But you were supposed to meet your true self. 150 00:11:59,970 --> 00:12:00,970 I just met him. 151 00:12:01,270 --> 00:12:02,189 What's he like? 152 00:12:02,190 --> 00:12:05,410 He's shallow, insecure, and needs to buy friends with an Oscar. 153 00:12:08,050 --> 00:12:09,790 Too late. Get off. Get off. Get off. 154 00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:15,920 That's all they want me. 155 00:12:16,300 --> 00:12:21,560 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Did you hear the one about the nut who joined the 156 00:12:22,060 --> 00:12:26,580 Sure. They made him a colonel. Oh, that old chestnut. 157 00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:30,640 Hey, you just cut that out, you pigs. 158 00:12:31,220 --> 00:12:35,220 Hey, speaking of pigs, what do you get when you cross an Eskimo and a pig? 159 00:12:35,500 --> 00:12:36,439 Oh, that's easy. 160 00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:37,600 You get a polar boar. 161 00:12:39,620 --> 00:12:41,140 What is going on? 162 00:12:46,860 --> 00:12:48,540 Hey, do you do all the cooking in the monastery? 163 00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:51,000 Oh, hey, hey, I was going to do that one. 164 00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:52,900 No, I only cook the potato. 165 00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:54,480 You only cook the potato? 166 00:12:56,700 --> 00:12:57,700 I'm doing this one. 167 00:12:58,780 --> 00:13:01,060 You only cook the potatoes? What do they call you? 168 00:13:01,660 --> 00:13:02,660 The fryer. 169 00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:05,700 No, the chipmunk. 170 00:13:09,420 --> 00:13:13,060 From time to time, I like to have a chat with some of the different members of 171 00:13:13,060 --> 00:13:14,760 the Muppet Show so you'll get to know them better. 172 00:13:15,140 --> 00:13:18,730 Tonight... I'll be talking with one of your favorite acts, Marvin Suggs and the 173 00:13:18,730 --> 00:13:19,730 Muppet Phone. 174 00:13:19,950 --> 00:13:21,070 Excuse me, Marvin. 175 00:13:21,290 --> 00:13:24,890 I know you're rehearsing, but could I talk to you for a few minutes? But of 176 00:13:24,890 --> 00:13:25,890 course, Mr. 177 00:13:25,930 --> 00:13:27,150 Kermit. Anything. 178 00:13:27,950 --> 00:13:29,430 Take a four. 179 00:13:30,290 --> 00:13:31,290 Five. 180 00:13:31,930 --> 00:13:32,930 Ow! 181 00:13:33,690 --> 00:13:34,690 Four. 182 00:13:36,150 --> 00:13:42,030 Marvin, the question that most people ask... The answer is mutual love and 183 00:13:42,030 --> 00:13:44,970 respect. The Muppet Phones, they are... 184 00:13:47,340 --> 00:13:48,340 Shut up! 185 00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:54,800 Marvin, are these the original Muppet phones? Oh, no. 186 00:13:55,380 --> 00:13:59,240 I have to replace them every two or three months. 187 00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:00,620 They go flat. 188 00:14:01,060 --> 00:14:02,360 You mean they get off key? 189 00:14:02,580 --> 00:14:03,600 No, flat. 190 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:07,280 Ow! Like little pancakes. 191 00:14:08,700 --> 00:14:09,700 Thank you. 192 00:14:10,380 --> 00:14:12,840 Yeah, well, what happens to them then? 193 00:14:13,220 --> 00:14:15,660 I don't think you want to know. 194 00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:19,160 Yes. Yes. 195 00:14:19,380 --> 00:14:23,680 Well, Marvin, I was wondering, can I talk to the Muppaphones? But of course. 196 00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:26,860 The little froggy want to talk to you. Be nice. 197 00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:33,660 Muppaphone, I'll ask you the question that most people ask is, does it hurt? 198 00:14:34,260 --> 00:14:36,080 Is Marvin still here? 199 00:14:36,340 --> 00:14:37,340 Right here. 200 00:14:38,300 --> 00:14:39,300 No. 201 00:14:51,340 --> 00:14:55,060 Yes, you were telling me how compassionate and sensitive you are. 202 00:14:55,060 --> 00:14:56,380 should get back to rehearsal. 203 00:14:56,980 --> 00:14:58,960 Come on, Marvin, how about some time off? 204 00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:01,100 How about some croquet? 205 00:15:09,380 --> 00:15:14,960 I wish I had the nerve to meet Raquel Welch. Oh, you should, Fozzie. She's 206 00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:17,580 terrific. She kissed me right here. 207 00:15:18,360 --> 00:15:22,160 Scooter, I know she kissed you. You told me four times she kissed you. 208 00:15:22,380 --> 00:15:24,560 Why don't you go have your cheek bronzed? 209 00:15:25,280 --> 00:15:26,280 Touchy, touchy. 210 00:15:27,140 --> 00:15:29,360 She didn't kiss... Oh. 211 00:15:30,440 --> 00:15:34,340 Hey, wait a minute. I can handle this. I can cope with it. I am an important 212 00:15:34,340 --> 00:15:37,760 bear. I am capable. I am poised. 213 00:15:38,140 --> 00:15:43,920 Hiya, Fozzie. I... I am... I... I've been looking all over for you. 214 00:15:48,190 --> 00:15:53,470 Did you know that one of the main reasons that I wanted to do the Muppet 215 00:15:53,470 --> 00:15:54,650 was just so I could meet you? 216 00:15:56,710 --> 00:15:59,590 Is something wrong? 217 00:16:00,010 --> 00:16:04,230 I can't talk about it. 218 00:16:04,830 --> 00:16:06,630 Just put your head on my shoulder here. 219 00:16:26,910 --> 00:16:28,770 Don't do that, please. 220 00:16:33,190 --> 00:16:36,510 Uh -oh. 221 00:17:06,300 --> 00:17:07,579 You're the one that's terrific. 222 00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:09,579 Me? Uh -huh. 223 00:17:09,900 --> 00:17:14,960 You know, just being here kind of close to you, I've noticed that you're really 224 00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:15,960 very charming. 225 00:17:16,339 --> 00:17:18,960 Charming? Mm -hmm. And even witty. 226 00:17:19,180 --> 00:17:20,420 And even witty. 227 00:17:21,140 --> 00:17:24,280 In fact, I think you're very sexy. 228 00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:26,200 Say again? 229 00:17:26,420 --> 00:17:28,480 I think you're sexational. 230 00:18:18,370 --> 00:18:22,390 confident now? You've made a complete bear out of me. Oh, yes. 231 00:18:22,690 --> 00:18:23,690 Yes. 232 00:18:24,330 --> 00:18:25,530 Fozzie. Yes, sweetheart. 233 00:18:26,430 --> 00:18:29,550 Do you think there's a... Yes, baby, say it. 234 00:18:29,770 --> 00:18:36,450 Even the slightest possibility that you might want to go to my dressing room and 235 00:18:36,450 --> 00:18:38,090 have a cup of tea. 236 00:18:40,050 --> 00:18:42,450 You and me. 237 00:18:45,110 --> 00:18:46,390 Could I bring a friend? 238 00:18:57,419 --> 00:19:04,100 Thank you. Thank you. 239 00:19:36,350 --> 00:19:37,470 Two points. 240 00:19:40,070 --> 00:19:43,270 Kermit, Kermit, Kermit. Oh, listen, you've got to read this. 241 00:19:43,610 --> 00:19:47,590 What? You're still on the assertive kick, Fozzie? Kind of, but listen, 242 00:19:47,590 --> 00:19:52,830 you are going to love this. I have just written the greatest joke in the world. 243 00:19:53,110 --> 00:19:55,470 It's the all -time comedy classic. 244 00:19:55,950 --> 00:20:01,390 Kermit. In the history of show business, there has never been or will there ever 245 00:20:01,390 --> 00:20:05,670 be a joke this funny. Here, read it. Go ahead, read it. 246 00:20:15,870 --> 00:20:17,850 It's not funny. I got a better one. 247 00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:33,880 you, Miss Diggie, but I understood that you weren't too, well, happy about me 248 00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:34,880 being on the show. 249 00:20:35,180 --> 00:20:37,740 Where did you ever get that idea? 250 00:20:38,060 --> 00:20:41,280 Well, believe me, I understand. After all, it is your show, and I'm just a 251 00:20:41,280 --> 00:20:46,700 here. Oh, Raquel, Raquel, Raquel, the burdens of being an international sex 252 00:20:46,700 --> 00:20:50,940 goddess. Yes, well, I suppose. It must be nearly as tough for you. 253 00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:01,199 Yes, me too. 254 00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:03,220 It gets to be kind of a board, doesn't it? 255 00:21:03,500 --> 00:21:06,460 Although there's still a lot of joy left in being a woman, don't you agree? 256 00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:12,160 Mm -hmm. And I plan to gather up all I can while it lasts. Oh, Raquel, stand by 257 00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:13,160 for your solo number. 258 00:21:15,580 --> 00:21:16,580 Solo? 259 00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:19,260 Yes, you don't mind, do you? 260 00:21:19,660 --> 00:21:21,000 Of course not. 261 00:21:21,360 --> 00:21:22,360 Oh, 262 00:21:22,660 --> 00:21:25,200 is that the costume for the solo number? 263 00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:26,480 How sweet. 264 00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:29,140 Thank you. They made it especially for me. 265 00:21:50,950 --> 00:21:52,110 And now, 266 00:21:53,150 --> 00:21:57,010 once again, ladies and gentlemen, it's time for our wonderful and indescribable 267 00:21:57,010 --> 00:22:00,100 fantastic guest star, Is she ready yet? 268 00:22:00,300 --> 00:22:01,340 Who? Raquel. 269 00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:02,600 Oh, yeah, yeah. 270 00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:04,400 Quick, he's getting on my Raquel wall. 271 00:22:19,540 --> 00:22:23,660 I can wash out 44 pairs of socks and have them hanging out on the line. 272 00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:27,400 I can starch an iron two dozen shirts. Well, 273 00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:34,100 I can scoop up a great big dipper full of lard from the dripping scale. 274 00:22:35,120 --> 00:22:39,020 Throw it in the skillet, go out and do my shopping and be back before it melts 275 00:22:39,020 --> 00:22:41,500 in my pants. Because I love women. 276 00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:46,140 W -O -M -A -N. 277 00:22:47,340 --> 00:22:48,780 Like I said again. 278 00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:53,000 I can rub and scrub. 279 00:22:53,370 --> 00:22:55,650 this house and it's shining just like a dime. 280 00:22:56,650 --> 00:23:01,130 Feed the baby, grease the car, and powder my face all at the same time. 281 00:23:02,190 --> 00:23:08,750 I can get all dressed up, go out and swing till 4 a .m. and then lay down at 282 00:23:08,910 --> 00:23:13,910 jump up at 6, and start all over again. Cause I'm a woman. 283 00:23:15,790 --> 00:23:18,670 W -O -M -A -N. 284 00:23:19,670 --> 00:23:21,190 Like to say it again. 285 00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:27,840 If you come to me sickly, you know that I'm going to make you well. 286 00:23:29,060 --> 00:23:33,480 If you come to me hexed up, you know I'm going to break the spell. 287 00:23:34,500 --> 00:23:39,020 If you come to me hungry, you know I'm going to fill you all full of grits. 288 00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:43,400 If it's love and you like it, I'll kiss you and give you the sugar. 289 00:23:54,340 --> 00:23:59,980 I can stretch a greenback dollar bill from here to kingdom come. 290 00:24:00,980 --> 00:24:05,260 I can play the numbers, pay the bills, and still end up with some. 291 00:24:05,820 --> 00:24:10,440 I got a $20 gold piece, says there ain't nothing I can't do. 292 00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:13,800 I can make a dress out of a food sack. 293 00:24:14,460 --> 00:24:15,540 You can what? 294 00:24:16,180 --> 00:24:19,060 I said I can make a dress out of a food sack. 295 00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:22,400 What do you do with a food sack? 296 00:24:22,620 --> 00:24:25,480 Well, honey, I can make anything look good. Oh, yes! 297 00:25:06,570 --> 00:25:10,650 to do so. I seriously suspect that this is the end. But before we go, let us 298 00:25:10,650 --> 00:25:14,470 have a warm thank you to our very special guest, our Miss Raquel Welch. 299 00:25:15,970 --> 00:25:17,070 Oh, wow. 300 00:25:18,710 --> 00:25:19,710 Oh, yeah. 301 00:25:20,370 --> 00:25:23,670 Oh, thank you very much, Kermit. I had a wonderful time, but I don't think I 302 00:25:23,670 --> 00:25:26,990 changed my image. Hey, Raquel, sweetie baby, you want to go tell a joke 303 00:25:26,990 --> 00:25:27,990 together? 304 00:25:28,530 --> 00:25:31,730 You may not have changed your image, but I think you may have changed ours. 305 00:25:33,430 --> 00:25:35,170 We'll see you next time on The Muppet Show. 306 00:25:35,430 --> 00:25:36,430 Bye -bye. 307 00:26:13,870 --> 00:26:17,990 Have you ever thought there must be life after death? Every time I leave this 308 00:26:17,990 --> 00:26:18,990 theater. 23026