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All language subtitles for The Muppet Show - s02e24 - Cloris Leachman

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,450 --> 00:00:06,190 Fifteen seconds to curtain, Miss Leachman. Okay, Scooter, I'll be ready. 2 00:00:06,190 --> 00:00:07,330 thank you for this lunch. 3 00:00:07,890 --> 00:00:11,590 Just hope you remember that I don't eat meat of any kind. 4 00:00:12,090 --> 00:00:18,510 And you'll be happy to know that I am a vegetarian. 5 00:00:49,390 --> 00:00:51,230 Make the Muppets on the Muppet Hill tonight. 6 00:00:52,430 --> 00:00:54,250 It's time to put on makeup. 7 00:00:54,510 --> 00:00:56,210 It's time to dress up right. 8 00:00:56,610 --> 00:00:58,470 It's time to get things started. 9 00:00:58,730 --> 00:01:00,010 Quit while you're ahead. 10 00:01:00,890 --> 00:01:04,410 It's time to get things started on the most sensational, inspirational, 11 00:01:04,989 --> 00:01:10,290 celebrational, Muppetational This is what we call a... 12 00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:22,899 Muppet Show. 13 00:01:22,900 --> 00:01:26,140 Hey, you're going to love tonight's show because our special guest is the star 14 00:01:26,140 --> 00:01:30,700 of television and films, Miss Cloris Leachman. But first, first let's get... 15 00:01:30,700 --> 00:01:34,340 What are you guys doing? 16 00:01:34,660 --> 00:01:36,140 Pigs are taking over the show. 17 00:01:36,420 --> 00:01:40,100 Yes, and you'll never get away with it. What a big year. 18 00:01:40,940 --> 00:01:42,560 We did it, we did it. 19 00:01:43,860 --> 00:01:45,920 Hi -ho, Kermit the Pig year. 20 00:01:48,420 --> 00:01:51,560 Hey, welcome to the Muppet Show, but tonight let's open the festivities. 21 00:01:55,440 --> 00:01:59,500 over the show. Well, hoo -ha! Where's my frog, huh? What happened to him? 22 00:01:59,700 --> 00:02:01,600 But, Miss Piggy, you're starring in the opening number. 23 00:02:01,820 --> 00:02:04,300 I don't care if you touch one flipper of my frog. 24 00:02:06,620 --> 00:02:10,620 I'm starring in the opening number? Of course. You're the biggest pig star 25 00:02:10,620 --> 00:02:11,620 got. 26 00:02:12,300 --> 00:02:14,700 We'll talk about what's -his -name later. 27 00:02:15,620 --> 00:02:17,200 And now, let's get the show rolling. 28 00:02:28,300 --> 00:02:32,540 A dream of romance for the scene where the villain is mean. 29 00:02:33,220 --> 00:02:34,840 That's entertainment. 30 00:02:35,640 --> 00:02:42,620 The light on the lady's side. Or the bride with the guy on the side. Or the 31 00:02:42,620 --> 00:02:45,300 ball where she gives them her all. 32 00:02:46,060 --> 00:02:47,600 That's entertainment. 33 00:02:48,260 --> 00:02:51,520 It might be a fight like you see on the screen. 34 00:02:52,140 --> 00:02:54,760 It's rain getting slain for the love of a queen. 35 00:02:55,630 --> 00:03:00,650 Some great Shakespearean scene where a ghost and a prince meet. And everyone 36 00:03:00,650 --> 00:03:01,650 ends in mincemeat. 37 00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:36,539 Be that talented? 38 00:03:36,540 --> 00:03:37,640 No, be that bad. 39 00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:38,840 Whoa! 40 00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:42,400 Move, move, you little frog, move. 41 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:44,640 Come on, come on. 42 00:03:44,900 --> 00:03:45,900 Now, listen, you guys. 43 00:03:46,340 --> 00:03:49,280 Oh, come on. Oh, I'm so glad to see you. 44 00:03:49,540 --> 00:03:50,920 Oh, it's been terrible. 45 00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:54,500 Come on, do you know that the pigs have taken over the show? 46 00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:58,220 Where are we? Is this the boiler room? Yes, the boiler room, yes. 47 00:03:58,500 --> 00:04:01,740 Well, listen, Fuzzy, don't worry. We will get out of here. Of course we'll 48 00:04:01,740 --> 00:04:04,000 out of here, because I, the bear, have a plan. 49 00:04:04,490 --> 00:04:08,290 I am going to tie some sheets together, and we will slip out the window. 50 00:04:08,610 --> 00:04:09,610 What window? 51 00:04:12,390 --> 00:04:13,630 No window. 52 00:04:14,550 --> 00:04:16,670 Oh, come in. 53 00:04:17,029 --> 00:04:20,170 Come in. We got a bust out of here. 54 00:04:22,070 --> 00:04:25,910 Come in. There's no telling how long they could keep us here. Look, look, 55 00:04:26,670 --> 00:04:29,370 What is that? I started a calendar. 56 00:04:30,690 --> 00:04:32,650 Believe me. 57 00:04:34,030 --> 00:04:35,470 Fuzzy, fuzzy, fuzzy, fuzzy. 58 00:04:35,730 --> 00:04:39,070 Do not panic. Listen, we'll use that telephone there and call for help. 59 00:04:40,170 --> 00:04:42,230 The telephone, of course. 60 00:04:44,530 --> 00:04:45,530 It's working. 61 00:04:45,590 --> 00:04:46,590 Here it comes. 62 00:04:50,430 --> 00:04:52,710 This may take longer than I thought. 63 00:05:02,380 --> 00:05:05,840 What's the matter? Did I get your name wrong? No, no, that's not it. You don't 64 00:05:05,840 --> 00:05:06,699 like the dress. 65 00:05:06,700 --> 00:05:09,660 No, it's okay for the number I'm doing. You don't like the number. 66 00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:12,360 No, it's okay for the dress I'm wearing. 67 00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:16,360 But it's a great number. You and Sweetums will be terrific. No, no, no. 68 00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:18,740 number with Sweetums comes at the end of the show. 69 00:05:19,140 --> 00:05:20,820 Oh, that's my mistake. Excuse me. 70 00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:23,500 Sweetums, Sweetums, back to the dressing room. Come on, back. 71 00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:29,220 Okay, cut, cut. 72 00:05:30,100 --> 00:05:31,100 That is not Sweetums. 73 00:05:31,450 --> 00:05:34,030 And you are not Kermit. Yes, I am. Oh, no. 74 00:05:34,570 --> 00:05:37,510 I've seen the Muppet Show on television many times, and you don't look anything 75 00:05:37,510 --> 00:05:38,830 like the Muppets that I've seen. 76 00:05:39,390 --> 00:05:43,910 But maybe it's your television set. No, it's not the set. I mean, you're green, 77 00:05:44,030 --> 00:05:48,310 and you've got that darling, funny, pointy collar that Kermit used to wear, 78 00:05:48,310 --> 00:05:52,050 you're not Kermit. Oh, yes, I am. All right, then. I'll spell it out for you. 79 00:05:52,090 --> 00:05:53,190 You are a pig. 80 00:05:53,450 --> 00:05:54,890 P -I -G. 81 00:05:55,710 --> 00:05:56,710 You're not a frog. 82 00:05:56,750 --> 00:05:57,750 F. 83 00:05:57,820 --> 00:05:58,820 are older. 84 00:05:59,920 --> 00:06:03,720 No, no, no, you are not a frog, and there is nothing you can say that will 85 00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:05,120 convince me that you are a frog. 86 00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:06,840 Nothing. Ribbit. 87 00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:11,620 Ribbit, ribbit. 88 00:06:12,260 --> 00:06:14,200 It is you. 89 00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:27,440 And now, once again, our special guest, Miss Cloris Leachman. 90 00:10:24,140 --> 00:10:28,380 Oh, it's going great. They got this new MC and the audience loves him. Kermit 91 00:10:28,380 --> 00:10:29,380 the Pig. 92 00:10:29,900 --> 00:10:30,900 Kermit the Pig? 93 00:10:31,560 --> 00:10:34,260 Easy, easy, Kermit. Don't take it so personally. 94 00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:36,940 And the new comedian, Foddy the Pig. 95 00:10:37,180 --> 00:10:38,180 Foddy the Pig. 96 00:10:39,140 --> 00:10:41,460 We gotta get out of here. 97 00:10:42,580 --> 00:10:45,620 We will get out of here. Look what I smuggled in. 98 00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:47,280 A spoon? 99 00:11:05,710 --> 00:11:07,090 Everybody's favorite funny pig. 100 00:11:07,790 --> 00:11:11,770 That great big lovable ham who's really a bore and proud of it. 101 00:11:12,870 --> 00:11:14,750 Mr. Fozzie Pig! 102 00:11:15,350 --> 00:11:20,550 Hi -ya, hi -ya, hi -ya! 103 00:11:20,910 --> 00:11:22,410 I'm really hot tonight. 104 00:11:22,810 --> 00:11:26,710 I guess you could say the fat's in the fire. 105 00:11:28,650 --> 00:11:35,150 Speaking of fat, my wife is so fat that when she brings home the... 106 00:11:53,290 --> 00:11:54,290 Back to school. 107 00:11:54,470 --> 00:11:58,670 Yeah, you see? Get this. You see, I still got a lot to learn. 108 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:18,240 Bunsen Honey Pig, today announced he had successfully converted a sow's ear into 109 00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:19,340 a silk purse. 110 00:13:21,560 --> 00:13:26,600 Dr. Honey Pig is now the object of a massive civil and criminal suit by the 111 00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:30,000 of a neighborhood artist, Mrs. Vincent Van Gogh Pig. 112 00:13:36,540 --> 00:13:37,700 How's it going, guys? 113 00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:38,960 Oh, it's horrific. 114 00:13:39,140 --> 00:13:42,650 Gonzo's digging and... I'm going to smuggle the dirt out in my hat. 115 00:14:14,250 --> 00:14:20,410 nice of you miss piggy my loyalty is here with my frog uh 116 00:14:20,410 --> 00:14:25,210 pigs in space on next 117 00:14:25,210 --> 00:14:32,090 you have to cancel it i i remain with 118 00:14:32,090 --> 00:14:37,890 my sweetheart oh gee miss piggy okay we'll just get someone to take your 119 00:14:37,890 --> 00:14:42,110 take my place i mean if you want to stay here with them 120 00:15:19,780 --> 00:15:22,720 Dr. Julius Strangeport. 121 00:15:23,340 --> 00:15:28,840 As we left the swine trap last time, it was under attack from an alien thief. 122 00:17:12,170 --> 00:17:13,430 about the show they haven't changed? 123 00:17:13,670 --> 00:17:14,409 What's that? 124 00:17:14,410 --> 00:17:15,609 It's still not funny. 125 00:17:19,150 --> 00:17:20,230 How's Gonzo doing? 126 00:17:20,550 --> 00:17:23,670 Pretty good, I guess. I can't even see him anymore. 127 00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:12,160 We take you now to a desert island where the coconuts and guest stars grow. 128 00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:21,920 Oh, 129 00:18:22,420 --> 00:18:29,220 dear. Oh, great. 130 00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:31,460 I thought I'd never make it. 131 00:19:08,560 --> 00:19:09,560 the dish. 132 00:19:10,940 --> 00:19:12,940 Well, you're quite a dish. 133 00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:14,620 That does it. I'm leaving. 134 00:19:15,740 --> 00:19:18,480 Oh, where'd a nice lady come from? 135 00:21:47,110 --> 00:21:48,110 This is the cook. 136 00:22:39,370 --> 00:22:44,010 those pigs where did those pigs come from and where did they go i mean who 137 00:22:44,010 --> 00:22:49,190 organize a hog calling contest it was amazing it was bizarre it was easy 138 00:22:49,190 --> 00:22:56,090 cloris you did that for us well i'm from iowa you must be a great 139 00:22:56,090 --> 00:22:57,090 hog caller 140 00:23:11,150 --> 00:23:15,910 On the Muppet Show, Helen Reddy sings and Miss Piggy performs her rendition of 141 00:23:15,910 --> 00:23:17,610 the Bee Gees hit, Staying Alive. 142 00:23:17,870 --> 00:23:23,410 Next on Happy Days, the pressure is on Marion and Joni when Howard campaigns 143 00:23:23,410 --> 00:23:24,410 Man of the Year. 144 00:23:43,080 --> 00:23:43,819 That was weird. 145 00:23:43,820 --> 00:23:45,340 I'll tell the world. Go ahead. 146 00:23:45,580 --> 00:23:46,580 That was weird. 10864