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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,409 --> 00:00:08,830 Hi, I'm Brian Henson. 2 00:00:09,210 --> 00:00:11,750 This episode of The Muppets Show stars Elton John. 3 00:00:13,530 --> 00:00:18,070 And at the time that we did this show, he was just coming out of a phase where 4 00:00:18,070 --> 00:00:22,650 he was doing those flamboyant costumes and those big crazy glasses and feathers 5 00:00:22,650 --> 00:00:26,150 everywhere. And it was wonderful, and it particularly excited the Muppets, the 6 00:00:26,150 --> 00:00:29,230 idea of having Elton on the show doing all that crazy stuff. 7 00:00:29,810 --> 00:00:32,770 Until they called him and asked him what he wanted to do, and he said, you know, 8 00:00:32,790 --> 00:00:33,990 I'll do anything, but... 9 00:00:34,520 --> 00:00:37,680 What I really don't want to do is I don't want to do those crazy flamboyant 10 00:00:37,680 --> 00:00:41,800 costumes with all big feathers and big glasses and stuff. So naturally, that 11 00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:44,240 a bit of a problem to the Muppets because that was what they were really 12 00:00:44,240 --> 00:00:45,179 forward to. 13 00:00:45,180 --> 00:00:48,460 So this whole episode is about the Muppets really wanting him to do that 14 00:00:48,460 --> 00:00:52,000 flamboyant, crazy look and him not wanting to. 15 00:00:52,740 --> 00:00:55,360 But as always, the Muppets sort of went out in the end. 16 00:00:56,280 --> 00:00:58,160 Boy, Elton, you look weird. 17 00:00:58,920 --> 00:01:00,700 Here it is, Elton John and the Muppets. 18 00:01:04,110 --> 00:01:05,110 Elton John? 19 00:01:05,370 --> 00:01:06,370 Elton John? 20 00:01:06,630 --> 00:01:08,590 Fifteen seconds to curtain, Mr. John. 21 00:01:09,770 --> 00:01:10,930 It's great to be here. 22 00:01:11,750 --> 00:01:13,110 Even my lunch likes me. 23 00:01:20,610 --> 00:01:23,730 It's the Muppet Show with our special guest star, Mr. 24 00:01:23,970 --> 00:01:24,970 Elton John! 25 00:01:56,560 --> 00:01:59,280 It's time to get things started on the most sensational, inspirational, 26 00:01:59,820 --> 00:02:06,580 celebrational, Muppetational. This is what we call the Muppet Show. 27 00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:19,860 Thank you, thank you, and welcome to the Muppet Show. We were going to have a 28 00:02:19,860 --> 00:02:23,360 wonderful show for you tonight. We're all very excited around here because our 29 00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:25,800 guest star is one of the world's greatest recording stars. 30 00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:27,120 And here he is. 31 00:03:10,690 --> 00:03:13,490 Thank you. 32 00:04:08,300 --> 00:04:09,300 Bye. 33 00:04:10,630 --> 00:04:12,490 Bye. Bye. 34 00:05:48,330 --> 00:05:49,029 John, okay? 35 00:05:49,030 --> 00:05:50,930 Okay? He's fantastic. 36 00:05:52,530 --> 00:05:54,090 Terrific. Scooter? 37 00:05:54,330 --> 00:05:56,470 Scooter? Oh, Chef, you're on next. 38 00:05:58,190 --> 00:05:59,190 I know. 39 00:06:00,090 --> 00:06:01,650 I know. 40 00:06:02,170 --> 00:06:03,170 I know. 41 00:06:05,150 --> 00:06:06,150 I don't know. 42 00:06:06,750 --> 00:06:07,910 Scooter? Scooter? 43 00:06:09,370 --> 00:06:10,370 Yes, Chief? 44 00:06:10,550 --> 00:06:11,990 Scooter, what are you doing with this piano? 45 00:06:12,310 --> 00:06:16,770 Oh, I found this song for Elton John. He's just got to hear it. He don't got 46 00:06:16,770 --> 00:06:17,770 hear it. 47 00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:21,540 Theater wanted him to hear it. Where do you want the piano? 48 00:06:22,500 --> 00:06:24,140 Upstairs in Milton John's dressing room. 49 00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:25,360 You got it. 50 00:06:47,900 --> 00:06:50,080 This birdy birdy egg dishes. 51 00:06:50,460 --> 00:06:51,480 Egg dishes. 52 00:06:51,780 --> 00:06:53,660 This birdy birdy egg dishes. 53 00:06:56,120 --> 00:07:02,280 This birdy egg. 54 00:07:03,620 --> 00:07:07,120 This birdy egg. 55 00:07:09,020 --> 00:07:10,640 This birdy egg. 56 00:07:10,940 --> 00:07:15,020 This birdy egg. This birdy egg. 57 00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:16,660 This birdy egg. 58 00:07:17,580 --> 00:07:18,580 This bird egg. 59 00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:32,460 This bird. This bird. This bird. 60 00:07:32,820 --> 00:07:34,880 This bird. This 61 00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:40,020 bird. 62 00:08:18,640 --> 00:08:21,420 guests feel at home on the show, but don't you think a piano in the dressing 63 00:08:21,420 --> 00:08:22,420 room is overdoing it a little? 64 00:08:22,820 --> 00:08:25,440 Oh, well, you see, I've been meaning to talk to you about this piano. 65 00:08:25,780 --> 00:08:27,720 You see, we've got a gopher around here. 66 00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:31,620 We've had frogs, chickens, and now a gopher. 67 00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:35,100 Oh, yeah, well, you see, that's an old theatrical term. A gopher is somebody 68 00:08:35,100 --> 00:08:36,520 have around to gopher coffee. 69 00:08:37,340 --> 00:08:38,340 Isn't that interesting? 70 00:08:38,460 --> 00:08:39,460 No. 71 00:08:39,900 --> 00:08:44,300 You see, this gopher of ours, well, he's found a song he wants you to do on the 72 00:08:44,300 --> 00:08:49,380 show. Oh, come on. I thought you were more professional. than that. Well, I'm 73 00:08:49,380 --> 00:08:53,420 sorry, Elton, but the kid has taste, he's got talent, and he's got an uncle 74 00:08:53,420 --> 00:08:54,560 owns the theater. Please, please. 75 00:08:55,140 --> 00:08:56,500 Okay, okay, let's hear it. 76 00:09:25,360 --> 00:09:27,040 That song has no melody. 77 00:09:27,780 --> 00:09:29,500 Isn't that the worst song you've ever heard, Elton? 78 00:09:29,980 --> 00:09:32,240 Well, I didn't think so when I wrote it. 79 00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:35,440 You wrote that song? 80 00:09:35,660 --> 00:09:40,540 Yep. Oh, it's a rather interesting song. It's got a nice little melody. 81 00:09:44,820 --> 00:09:47,300 You really hated it, huh? 82 00:09:47,680 --> 00:09:48,680 Well, yeah. 83 00:09:49,660 --> 00:09:51,520 Well, it can sound different. It can? 84 00:09:51,840 --> 00:09:53,240 Yeah. Let me show you. 85 00:11:06,860 --> 00:11:12,860 For Veterinarian's Hospital, the continuing story of a quack who has gone 86 00:11:12,860 --> 00:11:13,860 dog. 87 00:11:16,820 --> 00:11:18,420 Here's the next patient, Dr. Bob. 88 00:11:20,420 --> 00:11:21,419 It's a dog. 89 00:11:21,420 --> 00:11:23,540 I hope he doesn't have fleas. Why not? 90 00:11:23,780 --> 00:11:25,200 I hate to start from scratch. 91 00:11:26,660 --> 00:11:28,900 What kind of dog is he, Dr. Bob? 92 00:11:29,140 --> 00:11:30,880 Ask him what time it is. Why? 93 00:11:31,220 --> 00:11:32,420 He might be a watchdog. 94 00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:39,940 by her own guard dog. 95 00:11:40,340 --> 00:11:41,340 Doberman Pinscher? 96 00:11:41,380 --> 00:11:42,460 No, Doberman Bitter. 97 00:11:42,980 --> 00:11:43,980 Hey, 98 00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:47,800 where did you find him? At the lost and hound department. 99 00:11:49,180 --> 00:11:51,460 I wish he was a dachshund. Why? 100 00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:53,960 I'd like to get a long little doggy. No. 101 00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:57,780 And so, once again, Dr. 102 00:11:57,980 --> 00:12:00,520 Bob has taken the bulldog by the horn. 103 00:12:00,740 --> 00:12:04,920 Tune in next week when you'll hear Nurse Piggy say... Dr. Bob, I think the 104 00:12:04,920 --> 00:12:06,300 patient is running a fever. 105 00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:07,840 Oh, well, go get some mustard. 106 00:12:08,140 --> 00:12:10,330 Mustard? That's what you always put on a hot dog. 107 00:12:16,030 --> 00:12:22,930 Just a week or two ago, my poor old Uncle 108 00:12:22,930 --> 00:12:26,370 Bill went and kicked the bucket and he left me in his will. 109 00:12:26,570 --> 00:12:31,150 The other day I popped around to see poor Auntie Jane. She said, your Uncle 110 00:12:31,150 --> 00:12:32,890 has left to you a watch and chain. 111 00:12:33,130 --> 00:12:36,230 I put it on right across my vest. 112 00:12:37,050 --> 00:12:39,430 I'd look at the endy as it dangled on my chest. 113 00:12:39,690 --> 00:12:42,490 Just to flash it off, I started walking round about. 114 00:12:42,750 --> 00:12:47,370 A lot of kitties followed me and all began to shout like this. 115 00:12:47,970 --> 00:12:51,430 Any old iron, any old iron, any, any, any old iron. 116 00:12:51,650 --> 00:12:55,270 You look neat, talk about a treat. You look dapper from the opportunity. 117 00:12:55,610 --> 00:12:59,730 Dressing style, brand new tile, and your father's old green tie on. But I 118 00:12:59,730 --> 00:13:01,890 wouldn't give you toppings for your old watch chain old iron. 119 00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:35,960 Here we go, everybody. 120 00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:40,180 Any old iron, any old iron, any, any, any old iron. 121 00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:44,180 You look deep, talk about a treat, you look down from your back to your feet. 122 00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:47,700 Dressed in style, brand new tie, with your father's old green tie on. 123 00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:51,280 But I wouldn't give you time for your old watch chain. Old iron, old iron, 124 00:13:51,540 --> 00:13:54,080 yadda, yadda, yadda, yadda, yadda, yadda. 125 00:13:54,580 --> 00:13:57,520 Any old iron, any old iron, any, any, any old iron. 126 00:13:57,860 --> 00:14:00,940 You look deep, talk about a treat, you look down from your back to your feet. 127 00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:04,160 Dressed in style, brand new tie, with your father's old green tie on. But I 128 00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:05,160 wouldn't give you time for your... 129 00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:22,260 Ladies and gentlemen... Anyway, 130 00:14:23,700 --> 00:14:26,840 Kermit's allowed me to do an introduction to our guest star tonight, 131 00:14:26,840 --> 00:14:30,200 promise not to get carried away, so I'll be very understated. 132 00:14:30,420 --> 00:14:34,840 Here he is, the greatest talent in the history of the universe, Elton John! 133 00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:53,500 When are you gonna come down? 134 00:14:54,500 --> 00:14:57,020 When are you going to land? 135 00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:00,760 Should I have stayed on the phone? 136 00:15:01,280 --> 00:15:04,320 Should I have listened to my own mind? 137 00:15:05,500 --> 00:15:08,200 You know you can't hold me forever. 138 00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:11,160 I didn't sign up. 139 00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:44,680 And now, Pigs in Space! 140 00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:55,240 Starring the intangible Link Hogthrob, the redoubtable Miss Piggy, 141 00:17:55,340 --> 00:17:59,040 and the sanctimonious Dr. 142 00:17:59,660 --> 00:18:00,660 Strangeport. 143 00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:06,560 As we left the swine track last time, the crew had just been overcome with a 144 00:18:06,560 --> 00:18:07,560 fearful attack. 145 00:18:16,940 --> 00:18:18,180 of eternal space. 146 00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:20,520 A pig could go mad. 147 00:18:20,940 --> 00:18:23,600 We only blasted off 20 minutes ago. 148 00:18:24,420 --> 00:18:25,420 That long? 149 00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:30,780 At least we could have brought a TV set. I'm missing all my favorite bowling 150 00:18:30,780 --> 00:18:31,780 shows. 151 00:18:32,380 --> 00:18:34,640 You and your bowling shows. 152 00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:37,400 He cries at the sad parts. 153 00:18:40,640 --> 00:18:43,880 Doctor, what does that red light mean? 154 00:18:44,180 --> 00:18:45,540 Oh, the red light means stop. 155 00:18:46,190 --> 00:18:49,810 Green light means gold. The yellow light... No, no, no, no. Not traffic 156 00:18:49,810 --> 00:18:50,810 yet, twit. 157 00:18:51,230 --> 00:18:53,150 That light on the console. 158 00:18:53,790 --> 00:18:55,350 Oh, that light. 159 00:18:55,750 --> 00:18:59,370 That means we've been invaded by alien beings. 160 00:19:01,310 --> 00:19:02,310 Oh. 161 00:19:03,470 --> 00:19:04,470 What? 162 00:19:05,130 --> 00:19:09,070 Yes, even now, hideous creatures of some sort are roaming the ship. 163 00:19:09,470 --> 00:19:13,890 Oh, oh, help. Do something, Miss Piggy. If they're like snakes, I'll scream. 164 00:19:22,260 --> 00:19:23,260 Two snakes. 165 00:20:11,050 --> 00:20:12,050 of eternal space. 166 00:20:16,710 --> 00:20:19,090 Tune in next week and be bored. 167 00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:54,500 musician. Then why does he dress like a stolen car? 168 00:20:56,020 --> 00:20:59,540 Sam, musicians have always been fancy dressers. 169 00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:01,280 Mozart wasn't. 170 00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:04,680 Mozart wore high heels and wigs and silk stockings. 171 00:21:05,580 --> 00:21:07,980 Hold your little green tongue. 172 00:21:08,540 --> 00:21:09,660 It's true, Sam. 173 00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:15,040 If Mozart wore high heels, wigs and stockings, I'll eat my hat. 174 00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:17,480 And give Elton John a big introduction. 175 00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:22,860 picture of Mozart, Elton John TV. 176 00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:25,720 What? Those high heels and silk stockings. 177 00:21:25,980 --> 00:21:26,980 What? 178 00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:30,000 Hey, Sam, you know, you'd look great in a powdered wig. 179 00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:34,320 Good grief, I've been horn -swoggled. 180 00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:52,960 Yes, yes, you do, Sammy. That is a bet. 181 00:21:53,220 --> 00:21:54,220 All right. 182 00:21:54,680 --> 00:21:55,539 Let's see. 183 00:21:55,540 --> 00:22:01,120 I am proud to introduce one of the great names in popular music, one of my all 184 00:22:01,120 --> 00:22:02,120 -time favorites, 185 00:22:02,520 --> 00:22:03,520 Elton John. 186 00:22:03,700 --> 00:22:06,280 And? All right. 187 00:22:12,060 --> 00:22:18,960 Wonderful lady that I've always wanted to work with 188 00:22:18,960 --> 00:22:20,100 and sing with. 189 00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:24,780 So will you please give a great reception to the fantastic Miss Piggy! 190 00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:38,640 It's like stolen guns. 191 00:26:20,330 --> 00:26:21,490 Well, what'd you think? 192 00:26:21,890 --> 00:26:26,210 I hate running gags. 13981