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All language subtitles for The Muppet Show - s02e04 - Dom DeLuise

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,270 --> 00:00:09,530 Hi, I'm Brian Henson. 2 00:00:09,910 --> 00:00:13,850 The Muppets have always gotten a lot of fan mail. Over the years, we've received 3 00:00:13,850 --> 00:00:18,010 thousands of letters, and believe it or not, we do try to read and answer every 4 00:00:18,010 --> 00:00:18,929 one of them. 5 00:00:18,930 --> 00:00:23,850 Dear Kermit, my cousin Diane has a pet frog, and she named him Kermit. 6 00:00:24,550 --> 00:00:28,730 The staff received a memorable letter from a Scandinavian businessman who saw 7 00:00:28,730 --> 00:00:30,250 the show while on a trip to London. 8 00:00:30,810 --> 00:00:35,150 He wrote to inform my father that the Muppet Show's so -called Swedish chef 9 00:00:35,150 --> 00:00:39,110 not actually speak any real Scandinavian language, not even Swedish. 10 00:00:39,430 --> 00:00:46,410 The Muppet Show head writer, Jerry Jewell, sent a reply. 11 00:00:47,160 --> 00:00:50,260 saying thank you for bringing this to our attention. We were going to fire the 12 00:00:50,260 --> 00:00:54,180 chef on the spot, but he has got a wife and family, and he promises to take 13 00:00:54,180 --> 00:00:55,180 Swedish lessons. 14 00:00:56,480 --> 00:01:01,540 So here's the Swedish chef and all your other favorite Muppets on The Muppet 15 00:01:01,540 --> 00:01:02,540 Show. 16 00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:06,780 Dom DeLuise? 17 00:01:07,040 --> 00:01:10,520 Dom DeLuise? Oh, 18 seconds to curtain, Mr. DeLuise. 18 00:01:11,480 --> 00:01:12,480 Oh. 19 00:01:20,119 --> 00:01:23,180 Hey, it's the Muppet Show with our very special guest, our Mr. 20 00:01:23,460 --> 00:01:24,460 Tom DeLuise. 21 00:01:51,660 --> 00:01:54,780 It's time to get things started. Why do we keep doing this? 22 00:01:55,360 --> 00:01:58,880 It's time to get things started on the most sensational, inspirational, 23 00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:00,560 celebrational... 24 00:02:22,700 --> 00:02:24,100 Mr. Dom Dalloway. 25 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:30,680 But first, we're going to open the show with our own lady of song, Miss Piggy, 26 00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:32,900 because if we don't, she'll break both my arms. 27 00:02:34,020 --> 00:02:36,280 So here she is now, Miss Piggy. 28 00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:44,120 We had to move away, because the rent we couldn't pay. 29 00:02:44,460 --> 00:02:47,540 The moving van came round just after dark. 30 00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:48,760 It's a great old song. 31 00:02:48,980 --> 00:02:49,980 There was 32 00:05:33,260 --> 00:05:36,120 And if you happen to get your own spot on the show, well, that wouldn't hurt. 33 00:05:36,540 --> 00:05:38,800 Your life's hanging on a thread, kid. 34 00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:43,560 Yes, ma 'am. I'll go write some more spontaneous, sincere fan mail for you. 35 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:45,440 You know the words. 36 00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:47,140 Gorgeous. Beautiful. 37 00:05:48,620 --> 00:05:49,620 Modest. 38 00:05:51,780 --> 00:05:56,260 Okay, tonight's guest star is Dom DeLuise, and we all know how terrific he 39 00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:58,060 As a performer, he is out of... 40 00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:56,300 your dressing room to change in? What? 41 00:09:56,900 --> 00:10:00,140 Well, you see, my room is all filled with flowers. 42 00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:03,580 You understand, don't you, my dear Dominique? 43 00:10:04,380 --> 00:10:06,100 Don't my dear Dominique me. 44 00:10:06,760 --> 00:10:08,260 Oh, what's wrong? 45 00:10:09,160 --> 00:10:13,580 I mean, I'm the guest star on the show. Nobody seems to notice. The audience 46 00:10:13,580 --> 00:10:14,580 is... 47 00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:29,420 because they said the big dressing room was filled with your fan mail. 48 00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:32,400 Would you get the door, Dominique? 49 00:10:32,620 --> 00:10:35,360 Would I get the door? I mean, I really do not believe it. 50 00:10:36,660 --> 00:10:40,020 Yes? Are you Miss Piggy? No, I'm not Miss Piggy! 51 00:10:41,900 --> 00:10:43,580 Are those my roses? 52 00:10:43,940 --> 00:10:48,160 Yes, they were your roses. Someone sent roses to a P .I .G. 53 00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:50,460 That amuses you? 54 00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:52,840 Yes. The day... 55 00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:24,060 Actually, the little teensy basket of fruit is more suitable to you. 56 00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:27,440 And why is that? I'll tell you why. 57 00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:34,540 Because... It looks more natural. 58 00:11:38,560 --> 00:11:42,180 Excuse me, Miss Piggy. Hospital sketch coming up. 59 00:12:07,310 --> 00:12:08,310 The continuing... 60 00:12:51,820 --> 00:12:54,140 No, I think we've milked this joke long enough. 61 00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:59,240 Oh, look, I have a stake in this, too, you know. 62 00:13:02,180 --> 00:13:03,520 And so Dr. 63 00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:05,940 Bob has taken the bull by the horn. 64 00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:09,440 Tune in next time when you'll hear Miss Piggy say... 65 00:17:52,300 --> 00:17:56,820 Gee, I didn't think it was that bad. I missed one line, but... Oh, no. 66 00:17:58,040 --> 00:18:00,320 Scooter, you gonna tell me what's going on? 67 00:18:00,620 --> 00:18:01,960 No, I promised. 68 00:18:02,380 --> 00:18:03,460 I'll give you a raise. 69 00:18:04,120 --> 00:18:07,900 The flowers are fake, the audience was paid off, I wrote the fan letters, and 70 00:18:07,900 --> 00:18:09,280 Miss Piggy doesn't have another offer. 71 00:18:09,800 --> 00:18:11,740 Scooter, I like your style. 72 00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:15,740 Ah, hello. 73 00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:17,200 Hello and welcome. 74 00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:21,660 As you know, Shepard's Institute of Animal Protection has spent the last... 75 00:18:21,660 --> 00:18:25,920 years protecting helpless, innocent animals, just like the ones that you see 76 00:18:25,920 --> 00:18:30,860 right here. Now in the midst of our annual fundraising drive, it's time for 77 00:18:30,860 --> 00:18:34,400 drive again. Excuse me, this lovely creature has to be fed occasionally, 78 00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:39,380 otherwise he gets very, very irritated. Here you go. Here you go. Have a nice 79 00:18:39,380 --> 00:18:44,240 little snack. All better, all better. By the way, Shepherd's Institute has only 80 00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:45,240 reached its... 81 00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:53,920 The sweetheart right here has to be played with occasionally, otherwise he 82 00:18:53,920 --> 00:18:54,920 very irritable. 83 00:18:55,820 --> 00:18:56,820 Okay. 84 00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:11,460 As you can see, we care for all their needs. 85 00:19:11,940 --> 00:19:15,000 If an animal has a need, we fill it. 86 00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:19,840 This sweetheart of a creature loves to be sung to occasionally, otherwise he 87 00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:20,840 gets irritable. 88 00:21:04,940 --> 00:21:07,740 between you and Scooter about that offer you got from the other show? 89 00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:13,020 Oh, Hermie, I am so sorry. I didn't want you to hear that. 90 00:21:13,660 --> 00:21:15,640 Oh, that terrible boy. 91 00:21:16,280 --> 00:21:19,960 Yeah, well, actually, I'm kind of glad that I did because I have come to a 92 00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:21,840 decision that I think will make you very happy. 93 00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:25,160 Oh? I've decided to let you go. 94 00:21:47,630 --> 00:21:48,630 Goodbye, piggy. 95 00:21:52,050 --> 00:21:55,650 I'll just go clean up my dressing room then. 96 00:21:55,970 --> 00:21:57,370 Oh, that would be very nice. 97 00:22:33,640 --> 00:22:35,560 have to take a pay cut. 98 00:22:37,660 --> 00:22:41,600 Well, sure. I mean, you know, if you could afford to pay off the audience and 99 00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:45,160 buy all those flowers and the fur and the mail and all that stuff, then I 100 00:22:45,160 --> 00:22:46,160 you could. 101 00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:52,680 Okay, 102 00:22:52,820 --> 00:22:56,880 how come is it, you suppose, that the world doesn't know that Dom DeLuise is a 103 00:22:56,880 --> 00:22:58,240 singer as well as a comedian? 104 00:22:58,620 --> 00:23:00,440 Well, let us let the world find out. 105 00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:10,780 May I stop for just one second? I'll tell you the truth. Piggy's backstage 106 00:23:10,780 --> 00:23:12,480 she's very upset. In fact, she's miserable. 107 00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:14,400 And with your permission, I'd like to bring her out. 108 00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:16,240 Piggy, Piggy, come on. 109 00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:27,840 Piggy, you're upset. 110 00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:31,080 Things have not been going very well between you and Kermit today, right? 111 00:23:31,360 --> 00:23:32,440 Dom, dom, dom. 112 00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:39,920 The woman's... sometimes feel so alone alone Peggy you're not alone look at me 113 00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:46,860 minute you're here I'm here us is here us is here I 114 00:23:46,860 --> 00:23:53,580 mean we got us don't you understand oh I know 115 00:23:53,580 --> 00:24:00,200 life is a funny thing sometimes you laugh and sing sometimes you grumble 116 00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:01,200 and 117 00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:06,000 either way, what do we care? 118 00:24:06,300 --> 00:24:08,860 We got us. 119 00:24:09,920 --> 00:24:15,640 We have our ups and downs, our share of smiles and frowns, but through it all we 120 00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:16,399 don't fuck. 121 00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:20,260 Why? We got a special thing going, Piggy. 122 00:24:20,780 --> 00:24:23,460 We got us. 123 00:24:24,820 --> 00:24:27,860 Some people like to go through their life single. 124 00:24:28,060 --> 00:24:31,600 Oh, that wouldn't suit us at all. That's right. 125 00:24:31,980 --> 00:24:37,370 Why sing a male has a soliloquy when it's more fun to be 126 00:26:19,790 --> 00:26:23,170 I wouldn't mind this show if they just got rid of one thing. What's that? Me. 9875