Original subtitles

I have a confession to make, Red Shoes. Like most women, I've always been under

this impression that if I could change certain things about myself, then I

find happiness.

If only I was a little prettier, richer, thinner, taller, sweeter, tougher, had

fuller lips, or just about anything different than what I had and was, I

in fact, have and be all that I could dream of being.

Most importantly, I would accept myself.

Unable to reinvent myself.

I did the next best thing.

I took the labor of absence from work and made arrangements to take off with

France.

Apex Bay.

Apex Bay. Apex Bay.

Apex Bay.

When my friend Lynn heard what I was doing, she called a friend of hers in

Paris, a photojournalist, to see if she knew of any great places in the black.

As luck would have it, it just so happened she was going away for the

April and was desperately looking for someone to house fit.

Or in her case, I should say both fit, since she lived on a converted barge on

the Seine.

Ha! Ha!

In all my life, I've never seen a place quite as beautiful.

The furniture.

The art on the wall.

The plates.

The silkware.

Everything.

The woman who lives here must be extraordinary.

It might sound strange, but from the moment I walked through the door,

I wanted to be her.

Her spirit took me over completely.

It was like walking into her soul.

Bless you.

I've never snooped or invaded anyone's privacy before.

In fact, it would never have entered my mind.

But this was different.

I had to find out who she was.

February 5th, 1993.

Another collection.

Shot 35 rolls before noon.

All the clothes look the same.

It's cold.

Gray.

Decided to call Jim.

Haven't seen him since New York.

Repeated everything we did the last time.

Like a dance.

Saying nothing.

Wouldn't let him touch me.

Not yet.

Just his eyes on me as I undressed him.

And then I took his picture.

One after the other.

He looked.

And I loved it too.

Thank you.

The more I read about Shelby, the more I wanted to be like

her.

Her words gave me courage.

Too shy to ever allow anyone to take my picture.

I set up a camera I found of hers and...

Decided to try and take them out myself.

I wanted to know what it was like.

It excited me.

It made me feel bad and daring and free.

It made me feel like Shelby.

The next day, I did something else I'd never done before.

I borrowed one of Shelby's short skirts.

And actually had the courage to wear it out in public.

Thank you, Shelby.

It was amazing.

I had been in Paris for four days.

And for the first time in my life, everything seems possible.

I'm totally anonymous.

Nobody knows who I am.

Nobody to judge me.

If Shelby could sit in a short skirt in an outdoor cafe and pick up a

waiter, why couldn't I?

Gina's not Gina today.

She's Shelby.

Confident, poised, brave.

Shelby.

I do love being Shelby.

Love it.

Love it.

April 5th, 1993.

Dinner alone.

I was bored.

He was the waiter.

His name was Jean -Louis.

Wrote my room number on the check.

Very discreet.

And so was he.

And he wasn't even that attractive.

But it didn't matter.

I focused on that tattoo on his chest.

And waited for that feeling to come.

I loved to be taken from behind.

Just the sound of his breath.

The weight of his body pressed against me.

My hands gripping the edge of the bed.

He could be anybody.

Feeling.

The blood rushing into my face.

I could hardly breathe.

Then from out of nowhere it suddenly began.

Violently at first.

And over and over again.

Like waves lapping on his shore.

If only I could keep him inside of me forever.

I couldn't give her up.

Loved her clothes.

Loved to dress like her.

Loved to read her letters.

Loved to hear a voice in my head.

Loved him.

Loved him.

Charles was the difference between sex and love.

He was the only man that could make me come by just a touch.

Or sometimes even a look.

I felt passion for him.

His lips.

His kiss.

He could have owned me if he wanted to.

He was the only man I would relinquish myself to.

I did.

I loved it when he kissed me.

In case I didn't already mention it, my name is Antonio, and my number is

42533441. Sorry about that message.

It's a bad habit.

Anyway... Hello?

This is Shelby.

I couldn't resist.

He had no idea who I was.

To him, I was Shelby.

Beautiful, poised, beguiling.

Shelby.

Just keep on repeating.

My name is Shelby.

And I'm strong and fierce and beautiful.

Just keep on repeating it like a mantra.

That's right.

I said my name is Shelby.

is Shelby and you are under my spell.

My name is Shelby and you will do what I want you to do.

My name is Shelby and I'm strong, fierce,

and beautiful.

That's right.

I said my name.

is Shelby.

What did Sue tell you about me?

She said you were wonderful.

Which you are.

And that you were, um... How did she put it?

Without fear.

You like being in control, hm?

Is that it?

I want you to kiss me inside of my thighs.

I talk to a voice on the other end of the phone.

And now she asks me to kiss the inside of her thighs.

Inside of my thighs.

You're just there.

I think I've died.

I'm going to heaven.

Answer me.

We made love all night.

And somewhere during that time, I stopped being Shelby and became myself.

And that's when my real problems began.

Poor Antonio.

Went to bed with one woman and woke up with another.

No, I'm not.

Yes, you are.

Perfect. The perfect woman.

Believe me, I'm far from perfect.

Sweetest lips.

Perfect lips.

What a goofy smile.

Perfect neck.

Wet neck.

Viably beautiful.

Completely unexpected.

I'm just not used to... What?

You're not used to what?

Say the words.

I'm not used to it. It's kind of a... It's the way I

feel.

Maybe we went too fast.

Maybe we should get dressed and go out and get a cup of coffee, you know?

Talk a little.

Start from the beginning.

I can tell you all about me and I can tell me all about you and everything.

What frightens you, what excites you.

What do you say?

I, uh... I'm sorry. I need to be alone

right now.

He seemed to really like me, and I really liked him.

And I didn't want it to be a fantasy.

I wanted it to be real.

When he called to ask if he could see me again, I finally worked up the courage

to tell him the truth.

I told him who I was, how none of it was mine, and it didn't seem to matter to

him. And then he repeated again how much he really liked me just as I am.

For who I am.

Wow, so she wasn't who he thought she was, even though he liked who he thought

she was.

Even though he liked who she was when he found out who she really was.

And if she hadn't pretended to be Shelby, he would never have met her.

And she would never have learned that being who she really is is probably the

best thing that she can be.

You understand that?

And maybe you can explain it to me.