All language subtitles for One On One s01e12 Santa Baby

Daddy, why am I carrying the heavier
part of the tree? Because I'm wearing

dope jacket that I don't want to get sap
on.

Well, did we pass against the cheapest
tree on the line?

Let me put it to you like this. The
cheaper the tree, the better your gift.

Hey.

Hey, Merry Christmas.

Oh, Mama, you made it before the
blizzard.

Oh, maybe not too tight.

I'm not feeling too well from the
flight. It's probably just jet lag.

Don't you mean broom? Lag by pretty.

Flex, I am not in the mood. Oh, come on,
Nicole.

Just one more time. Come on, what you
got? Come on.

Uh, you so thin, if we put a dime on
your head, you'll look like a nail.

That's all you got?

You must really be sick.

Oh, a box of unhung Christmas
decorations.

Ooh, and a broken down Christmas tree.

Still doing Christmas last minute, huh,
Flex? Hey, what you call last minute, I

call a free tree.

You didn't wait till last minute to get
that two -way pager cell phone I asked

for. Why you gonna play me like that? I
got you covered, baby.

You know, go in my bedroom and get that
Pepto for your mom.

Oh, sure.

Thank you, boy.

She's jumping, man.

Got her covered when you play with me
like that.

You a radio chef?

You got any more of those two -way pager
cell phones?

But I can't tell nobody That I'll
isolate you now When there's nobody

A championship ring.

Kevin Garnett, a diamond earring buffer.

And Latrell Sprewell, some dandruff
spray for his braids.

Well, that's all for the Flex Files on
Flex Washington.

Flat out, back to you, Edwin.

God bless you.

Gesundheit. And back to me. Looks like
the blue bug that's going around has

our anchorman.

And when we come back, Edwin will have
the latest update on the blizzard.

And hopefully a tissue.

And we're out.

Cover your mouth. Look at these
weaklings. I once worked 56 hours

pneumonia. So what if I don't have the
full use of my right lung?

Well, I'm sorry to hear about your
little handicap, but I got my own

Like, when am I going to start to cover
the hard -hitting stories? I've become a

diligent, thorough... old hard -working
reporter.

It's my time. No, it's Christmas Eve,
and you should be home with your family.

Only those of us with an empty womb
should be working.

All right, then. Merry Christmas, and
may your womb be filled with joy.

Hey, everybody.

Hey.

Ooh, girl.

Looks like you got hit by a truck, and
it backed up and ran over you again.

Please don't go.

Okay, okay, I won't. Ooh, I'm sorry you
had to fight dirty with them fake tears,

but I learned from the best. Thank you,
Daddy.

Okay, I'm about to go put your bags up
in the back.

Ooh. You know what? Maybe it was those
polar bear burgers I ate on the plane.

Well, with you being sick, it's good
that you're sleeping here.

Sleeping here?

After what happened Thanksgiving?

Flex, I thought that we decided that,
uh, you weren't gonna get any more of

this.

No, no, no, no. We decided that being
friends was better for us, and you

getting any more of this.

You wish. That you wouldn't beg for it.
Yes, I do.

Anyway, Brianna wants you here, and she
would love to have both of us home for

Christmas. Well, you don't have to work
at all?

Well, even if I had the opportunity, I
can't run off on assignment doing

Brianna's first Christmas with me.

Old saga of a single parent versus
career.

I lived it for 12 years. It sure puts a
dent in your social life.

Well, my bachelor day seemed so long
ago, I can't even remember what a

Chili to party was like.

Wait a minute.

Hmm, there it is.

Hmm. So how are we going to decorate
this sorry -looking tree?

The same way we deal with Uncle Oxfin's
gambling problem.

We had it.

Look at all the gifts under the tree.

It's disgusting. It's from things for
commercialism. You spend all your

allowance again, huh? Girl, you know it.
Not a lot to give you for Christmas is

a hug.

And a little for me.

And a little for my homies.

And a little more for my lady.

This eggnog is going to be better than
Viagra.

Don't you drink too much of that or the
answer's gonna be, no, I have a

headache. Oh, it ain't your head I'm
interested in.

Man,

it is coming out out there.

I swear, it's so cold, I saw a homeless
man jump out of his box and into a

refrigerator.

I accommodated a snowcat awful lot.

It was either that or hole up in the
sales office with this old cleaning

Now, if I was 40 years older, you'd
invite her to dinner just like you did.

Yeah, you know me, dog.

Hello?

Hey, Stacy.

What's going on? Oh, nothing much.

I was just thinking about that whole
stepping up thing, and maybe I was a

too hasty.

I'm ready to give you your break.

Oh, really?

What brought this on?

To tell the truth, I could really use
some help around here, and...

Edwin's not feeling too well.

Oh, look, I don't know. I mean, it's
Christmas. My whole family's here. Hold

What is it, Flex?

Stacy wants me to come down to the
station. This could be my big break, but

is Brianna's first Christmas here. And
it'll still be my first Christmas when

you get back.

Stacy, I'm on my way.

Hey, D, I'm gonna need a ride on that
snowcat, dog. Ah, no problem, dog.

Okay, kids, gather round, gather round.
It's time for Big Daddy's traditional

Christmas story. Oh, yeah.

It was 50 years ago in Alabama.

Me and my 15 brothers and sisters only
had one pair of shoes between us.

Really, Grandpa?

Oh, it's true.

We could only go outside to play one at
a time.

in the blizzard. You don't know how bad
I hate you.

Oh, what's the big deal with sexual
harassment? I like this mama.

We go live in 30 seconds. Come on.

Oh, okay.

Okay, I got this.

Okay, I'm on sports. Who's on weather?
You.

Who's on traffic? You. Who's on news?
Oh, let me guess. Is it you?

I don't know what you're laughing at.
You're on teleprompter.

know about working a teleprompter? Well,
do you know about how you'll walk after

I nut your kneecaps off with my teeth?

Both ouch and mmm.

Duane O'Dell Knox, teleprompter operator
at your service. Okay, in five, four,

three.

Good evening.

I'm Flex Washington, and I'll be sitting
in for everybody.

We'll be bringing you continuous
coverage of the blizzard that's, that's,

that's, Duane!

Oh, my bad.

Krispy Kreme.

Bear with me, Baltimore.

It's going to be a long evening. But
stay tuned. Our next story, news anchor

bludgeon teleprompter operator with a
box of Krispy Kreme.

Oh, I'm so sorry. I don't know what
happened.

One look at that macaroni and cheese and
I just felt like I was on that teacup

ride.

You just lie right here and get yourself
together.

Thank you. Here's some saltines to
settle your stomach.

Oh, thank you, Eunice. Go easy with
them.

I see you put on some weight.

Oh, that's right. Turn it up.

Oh,

my son is so handsome on TV. He's going
to be the next Al Roker.

Enough chat.

How many weeks are you?

What are you talking about?

You've been throwing up ever since I got
here. I dreamed about halibut last

night, and everybody knows fish dreams
are scientific proof of pregnancy.

Well, if you must know, I'm only a week
late.

And yes, it could be job stress.

And yes, I did get a little queasy
looking at the macaroni and cheese.

And yes, the last time that happened, I
was carrying... Brianna.

Oh, halibut.

I'm not going to ask who the father is.

I mean, that's your business. It really
doesn't concern me at all.

Well, actually, we've both seen the
father naked.

You and my Richard?

Ew!

Ew!

On a happier note, due to severe
weather, the Wu -Tang Sing's Christmas

tour has been canceled.

Oh, my God.

This is impossible.

You live in Nova Scotia. He lives in
Baltimore. How'd you two do it? Over the

internet?

It happened during Thanksgiving.

And I hope you're not just blaming me.

No. No. It's what happens when a bad
girl meets a good boy.

How long are you going to keep doing
this?

I made something of myself.

I got a PhD, damn it.

Who says I'm talking about you?

You're not the only one. I had a baby
shower and a bridal shower on the same

day.

Then why did you give me so much grief?

Because I was a grandmother before I was
40. I was still queen of the disco.

So what are you going to do?

Well, if I am pregnant, you know, the
child is my responsibility.

Raised my baby by myself in Nova Scotia.

What about Flex? He's the father.

He should know.

He's got his career, and he's raising
Brianna.

I just don't want to burden him. In
fact, you know what? I could catch the

plane out of here he would never know.

So Daddy finally got a job in the
lumberyard making toothpicks for a dime

barrel.

That's when we got our first Christmas
tree.

Y 'all will never guess who's pregnant.

Oh, no, Brianna. Say it isn't so.

Don't you worry. I'll stand by you, and
I'll raise the baby as my own little

mama.

I can't believe you had sex and didn't
tell me I thought I was your best

Okay, has everybody been dipping in
Grandpa's eggnog?

It's not me. It's my mama.

Oh, well, I'm not raising that kid.

Look, my mom... not going to tell my dad
she's having a baby. She's talking

about going back to Nova Scotia and
raising it by herself.

Come on, y 'all, we gotta go.

So, we all jumped in to the river naked.

That's when I saw the most beautiful
fish.

It had the mouth of a woman.

For a more accurate assessment of the
blizzard, we found a man on the street,

Dwayne Odell Knox.

Mr. Knox, what exactly did you witness
outside?

Snow.

would you describe the snow -blanketed
city outside?

Barren, deserted, cold.

Snow and cold. So if you didn't know,
now you do. Thank you, Mr. Knox. Stay

tuned to WYNX for your up -to -date news
and weather. We'll be right back.

And we're in commercial.

Thanks a lot, Rain Man.

Stacy, this is a nightmare.

Lex, Lex, relax.

I can't believe I'm actually saying
this, but I'm impressed.

You're not breaking, you're having fun
with it.

I think you're on your way to getting
those meatier sports stories.

Ah, you hear that, dog?

You're about to become the meaty man.

And we're back in five, four, three...
I'm Flex Washington, and you're watching

WYNX News.

Donations are... Where are you going?

I gotta talk to my dad. But he's busy
right now. You guys are teenagers.

Shouldn't you be at some rock concert
popping caps?

Daddy, what's going on?

Your dad's really into the news right
now. Maybe we should tell him later.

Hey, how many Z's are on blizzard?

I think I know how to get my dad
interested.

Uh, Dwayne, I need to add something into
the script.

Oh, you can't do that.

You're not a union.

Oh, my God.

My first exclusive.

The Weather Service reports that snow is
falling at five inches an hour.

Officials estimate that Nicole Barnes is
four weeks white.

after this break.

Hi.

Your mom is pregnant? How did this
happen? Well, I heard her talking to

She's not even gonna tell you. She's
going back to Nova Scotia having the

on her own. You gotta talk to her.

But I can't walk out on Stacy.

What am I saying? I can't walk out on
me. This is my big break, sweetie.

But Daddy, please. She's talking about
leaving tonight.

She'll be black, pregnant, and alone in
the...

Stacy, look, I gotta go. Family
emergency.

And you're in the middle of a work
emergency, Mr. Meteor Stories?

Stacy, I want to do those stories. No, I
deserve to do those stories.

But my family comes first. I'm sorry.

Flex! Flex!

All right, Dwayne, looks like it's me
and you.

Well, I didn't know you wanted to roll
that way, but I'm down.

I'm talking about us going on camera.

Oh, you got a little freak in you, don't
you?

Brianna came down to the station and
told me that you're pregnant.

Oh, she must have been listening outside
that door.

Oh, that sneaky little girl, just like
her mama.

Mom, could you give us a minute?

Like... Our little romp at Thanksgiving
has come back as a Christmas gift.

I can't believe that I'm going to be a
father again.

I don't know what happened.

I mean, we were very safe.

Guess my boys are great swimmers, just
like little Aquaman.

Get over yourself.

Look, I don't want you to worry about
this, okay? As long as you continue to

take care of Brianna, I can raise little
Levi all by myself.

Hey! Hey, hey, hey, ain't no child of
mine going to be named after jeans.

Although I've always liked the name
Jordache.

Look, I know we may not be together, but
we're in this together.

But, Flex, I don't want to interfere in
your life, you know? Things are going

well for you.

Look, I spent a lot of years away from
Brianna.

And I don't want that to happen again.

Hey, Mommy. I picked up this pregnancy
test for you from the store.

The sales lady said it's the best one
and that I should be ashamed of myself.

Three, two, one!

Merry Christmas!

Arnaz, this is for you.

Uh... Oh, this wedding?

The doors, Albert?

All artists who die before their time.

How deep is your affection, Ryan?

Deep enough to buy you a used CD.

Well, Brianna, you know how I am. I
waited until the last minute, so I did

best that I could.

Oh, you got my pager! Thank you, Daddy!

Don't thank me. Thank your brother
selling them in the alley.

Oh, cheer up, girl. Here, I made this
for you.

In a few minutes, I'm going to have
something for you.

I, um, I took the test.

Well, uh, let's wait together.

Okay, everybody, gather round.

I'm going to finish my Christmas story.

You want to look?

No, you look.

No, it's your pee, you look.

You know, this is going to change our
lives.

Again.

Yeah, I know.

to have a little brother and little
sister?

I don't know. Which dot is the right
dot?

Here, let me see.

Ooh, that's the wrong answer. Ew!

All right, well, let me get a good look
at this.

Well, looks like there's not going to be
a miracle this Christmas.

Sure there is.

I got both of my parents on Christmas.

My family.

It doesn't get any better than this.

in front of the camera like that.

You hear that?

The Christmas carols, smell the holiday
ham, fresh -cut Christmas trees.

This is my favorite time of the year.
Yeah, well, I hate it.

All my girlfriends with their loving
husbands, apple -cheeked children and

perfect Martha Stewart -like Christmas
table all looking down on me because I'm

a career woman with only one ovary.

Girl, you better come in.

What made you do that?

I think it was the one over.

Yeah? Well, do it again. Watch yourself.

How do you like Christmas now?

I think I'll love it.

Love you too, Netta.