All language subtitles for One On One s01e07 Playing Possum

Bye, Daddy, see you later. Have fun at
work.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

That's what you were in the school?

Yeah, after you freaked out about my
outfit yesterday, I figured I'd dress

appropriately. You're a good daddy.

Wait, no. Aha!

Trying to pull one up on the master.

See, I thought we agreed. Less a little
cam, more everything else.

Well, everybody doesn't have a daddy
who's willing to catch a case over his

daughter.

Not to mention, your knees look like
you've been praying in a flower.

Check it out.

Check it out.

What do you think?

I don't think you can get any shorter.

What is it?

My latest advertising tool.

See, the Ferrari brings in the men, and
yours truly brings in the ladies.

Speaking for the ladies who aren't
blind, it's not working.

Well, why don't you speak for little
girls and be quiet?

Now, you're not selling Ferraris down at
that lot. The fastest thing on that lot

is Big Sal's secretary, Easy Linda.

True, true, but you see, people have to
come down to the lot.

In order to find that out.

Don't you ever feel sleazy cheating
people?

Man, I'm a used car salesman, all right?
I eat sleaze for breakfast and wash it

down with a big tall glass of
dishonesty.

That's my cousin Rio.

Trust me, there's nothing there. Just
all good looks and athletic ability.

I think he's on the Dean's list, too.

He's also quarterback of the football
team. They call themselves the Dog

Or you could call me the Dog Catcher.

Woof, woof.

I know what you're thinking. But I can
say this because he's family.

He used to keep a booger collection.

What's up, cuz?

What's up, geek?

Whoa, who are your friends?

Well, you already know Spirit, and this
is Brianna.

Brianna? Nice name.

It means virtue, but don't let the name
fool you.

Rio? Oh.

I've been looking all over for you. It's
fourth period, that's our time, and you

know how I feel about our time.

No, I'm sorry, baby. Let me make it up
to you.

Okay.

Who's that?

Tiffany Dyson, Rio's girlfriend.

He's that desperate that he's dating a
cheerleader?

Doesn't like dating a life -size Barbie
doll except the doll's hair is real.

Um, Spirit, Arnaz, why is your little
friend staring at me?

Tiffany, meet Brianna.

That means virtuous.

Well, I'm Tiffany, and that means I
don't care.

Oh, so you're a cheerleader.

Head cheerleader.

Let me guess, you're a wannabe.

Oh, no, I'm a gonna -be.

Because you just convinced me to try for
the team. Oh, how cute.

The little freshie wants to be a
cheerleader.

Tiffany, once you see my moves, I think
you're going to want me on your team.

Cheerleader rule number one.

Don't think, just cheer.

Trials are at 3 o 'clock tomorrow.

Bring it.

Oh, honey, it's already brought.

or those cardboard cutouts bringing in
the business?

Uh, three were defaced, seven were
stolen, and one... Let's just say there

Satan worshippers in your neighborhood.

But that's all right, because I've come
up with a whole new campaign, friend.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Last time I
heard that from you, I lost $2 ,000 and

engaged to a midget wrestler in Mexico.

All right, come on, man, look, look.
This has nothing to do with that, all

right? I just told Big Sal that
Baltimore's hottest sportscaster, the

Man... was going to be our spokesman.

He was so excited, he offered me a woman
from the old country. You volunteered

me to be the pitchman for Big Sal's used
cars?

The old country, Flex.

She makes wine with her toes.

Look, man, I don't care if she cracks
walnuts with her butt cheeks. I'm not

doing that. Come on, man.

All I got to do is get Apollonia to get
you some pasta and some gabagoo.

I don't even know what that is. I just
like saying it.

Gabagoo.

Say it with me.

Gabagoo.

I'm not saying it, I'm not doing it, and
I'm not the guy that's doing it.

Hey, how's my high schooler?

Go on, tell him how you sold out. You
became a Buffy, a Heather, like... Oh,

God, these new chairs are so rad.

It's no big deal. I just signed up to
try out for the cheerleading squad.

But you hate cheerleaders. Yeah, she's
doing it to close you up to Rio.

He's trouble -flexing. He has a
mustache.

I know I've always... thought of
cheerleaders as a bunch of mindless

high -rise skirts, but I couldn't help
myself.

That Tiffany pulled me in. Now I've got
to get her. I thought this was about

Rio. Who's this Tiffany girl?

Obviously one of the hoochies.

Flex, if you're gonna be a good father,
please keep up with the children.

Tiffany is Rio's girlfriend, the newest
speed bump in Brianna's love life.

Hey, man.

So you're doing this to steal some
cheerleaders' boyfriend?

Didn't I teach you better than that?

I'm not doing it because of that. I'm
doing it out of spite. That daddy's

yeah.

It's Lex.

Brianna. Anybody home?

Good. Uh -huh.

Too good to be in my commercial, huh?
Well, we'll see about that, Mr.

Flagg.

Little hidden camera.

Lex Washington for Big Sal's used cars.

Three cameras. Take one.

What's up, Glenn?

What's up,

man? You know, we never get a chance to
talk like we used to. Sit down.

What you doing, man? Just making sure
that my buddy's comfortable.

Lex, you remember your first car, don't
you?

Of course I do. A 78 Midnight Blue Pacer
with chrome wheels.

I nicknamed the Thriller.

After the Michael Jackson album.

No, after an ex -girlfriend named
Thriller Thomas.

Hey, look, Spirit, there are two spots
to open on the cheerleading squad. We

could try all together.

I'm a trained dancer. Why should I have
to wait ten years of ballet and jazz tap

to be a cheerleader? How is that going
to get me to Broadway?

I don't know, but it'll get you out of
fifth period of science.

Well, go team go!

Okay, great. All right, Daddy, check
this out, all right?

We're going to do victory.

Aren't ass be ready to catch me? Girl,
I'd catch you like a cold.

Come on.

Okay? Ready? Okay.

Victory, victory, here I strive. Say it,
know it, watch us fly.

Wait.

Baby, you okay?

I'm cool.

That was in the routine.

Oh, okay.

See, that was cool, but, you know, your
cheer was lacking some attitude, you

know, and some hips, you know? You gotta
cheer like you're mad.

What do you know about your leader?

I know a lot of things about his leader.

Let me show you a little something, you
know what I'm saying? A little flashback

right here, you know?

F -L -E -S.

Who's the best from east to west? Flag.

Flag.

Who's the man with all the know -how?
That would be me, because make the lady

say I.

or doesn't need any work.

Tiffany, carry on.

Next.

So, Brianna, what are you going to show
us today besides your padded bra?

Girl, I told you this wasn't going to
work.

See, what had happened was we going to
do our own cheers.

They made up their own cheers. How cute.

Here at McKinley, it's more than just
cheering for football and basketball.

We like to compete on more of a national
level, and your cheers are a little

more on the neighborhood level.

So what are you saying?

How can I put this in a way you'll
understand?

Oh, heck, I'll just say it. Your cheers
are way too ghetto.

Soon you'll be buying a quality used car
for Brianna.

As a parent and as a consumer, what will
you be looking for?

Value, safety, or reliability?

Right now I'm looking for a big spacious
trunk that I can throw you in.

What are you doing?

Brianna, Brianna, she's our girl. She's
the best cheerleader in the world.

makes a squad.

Oh, Brianna, Brianna didn't make the
team. Guess it's not easy as it seems.

Wait, please.

Bri, what happened?

Tiffany said my cheers are too ghetto.

Who she be calling ghetto?

Didn't you say her mother plays the
lotto with food stamps?

You know what? She probably just jealous
because her boyfriend be checking me

out like I could turn all this off.

Sometimes I have to ugly myself up just
to be accepted.

Dad, I thought high school was going to
be fun.

It's only been a few weeks and I already
have an enemy.

Sweetie, along the road of life, you're
going to run into potholes like Tiffany.

You just got to buckle up and drive
right over them.

No. Dad, maybe I should just quit this
whole cheerleading thing.

You know, sweetie, when I first became a
sportscaster, it wasn't easy.

I was missing cues, messing up people's
names.

Well, did you ever think about giving
up?

Yeah, but then I remembered how much
your child support payments were.

I had to get back in the game. Your mama
was tripping.

Dad, what's your point?

That I never knew what I could do until
I tried.

Bree, you can't quit.

Nobody likes a quitter.

Okay, girls, that's a hurt.

Solid as a rock.

session. What do you guys want? A second
chance. I really think we have

something to offer.

Wow. You've already learned cheerleading
role number two.

Never give up.

How many rules are there?

They were good, kid. Come on. Maybe you
can give them a second chance.

Brianna, you and your friend are spunky.

be the head and the other can be the
ass.

Wait a minute.

Rihanna, there is no way I'm going to be
the possum boogie.

Man,

that was some game.

Dwayne, you watched the game from the
sideline.

Yeah, we're running back and forth
getting you water to warm me out.

That's why Sal is my pal.

Did you just say, Sal's my pal?

Yes, I did, and that's all I needed.

So, sweetie, did my little pothole pep
talk turn things around for you?

Oh, it sure did turn things around. Now
we're spunky the funky possum.

It's in my experience that the mascot
often steals the show.

You got the Baltimore Oreo, the San
Diego Chicken, the Rhode Island Roach.

I mean, he's nasty, but he's a great
entertainer.

How are we supposed to entertain if
we're dead?

Possums never stay dead, baby.

why I don't mean nothing, because I'm
still running things up in him.

Oh, it sounds like Tiffany is taking a
trip to ghetto land.

Bye, y 'all. See you at practice
tomorrow.

Yo, y 'all were banging. Yeah, my girl
sure was.

Arnaz, Brianna only likes you as a
friend. No, she loves me. Didn't you see

way she was looking at me?

Oh, please. She's just using him to make
me jealous.

Poor Rio.

Being used like that.

I was rooting for you.

Well, I'm glad you like the show.

But I'm sure your girl didn't like you
liking me.

Rio!

I'm coming, babe. I'm just showing your
new cheerleader here the ropes, you

know. That's all.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to seeing a
lot more of you, Miss Virtuous.

Hey, what's up there, buddy?

I'm Brianna's father, Mr. Washington,
and you must be Brother Need to Comb His

Hair.

Daddy, you can't keep running off boys.
Yeah, well, that boy can't keep running

from a comb.

Are you ever going to like a guy a date?

Sure I am. When you find one whose
parents are named Mary and Joseph.

Oh! Oh!

Oh, you see that head?

I never knew the human... body could
bend that way.

That's what happens when the cheerleader
gets in the way of the play.

It's your cheer in the stand.

Big Sal, Big Sal.

Uh, yo, Flex, man, give me the
controller. No, no, hold on, hold on.

This is a commercial, right?

Big Sal's used car lot, where
Baltimore's elite come to shop.

Isn't that right, Flex Washington,
celebrity sportscaster for WYNX?

Sal's my pal.

And what did you drive off of Sal's lot,
Mr. Washington?

A 78 bit back new pace with firm wheels.

So if you're looking for a lady you can
love on four wheels, come on down to Big

Sal's used car lot and drive away a
dream.

Right, Flex?

Flat out.

Wait, I'm going to kill you, man.

Yeah, but we both know you won't. See,
that's the magic of our friendship.

Love you too, Netta.