All language subtitles for My Little Princess s01e09

Once upon a time, there were eight
little girls who were all the apple of

dad's eye.

As they grew up, many boys tried to woo
them, but none were good enough for

their dad.

To help find their one true love, they
agreed to enter a fairy tale realm of

romance, full of hot single prince
charmings, all prepared to do anything

a date with a princess.

But what happened next?

It's now time to discover whether our
fairy tale romances did indeed blossom

bloom as we return our winning prince
charmings and princesses to the real

for the final chapter of our story of
love.

I think he's very gorgeous.

I've been sick like that before.

The fact that she doesn't like chicken,
I think that is really weird.

He did say something funny, but I can't
remember what it was.

There was a bit of chemistry between me
and Charlie.

She possibly could be my princess.

The very first princess to enter our
magical kingdom of love was a cocktail

waitress called Jamie, who hailed from a
land not so far, far away called

Amersham. I'm Jamie. I'm 23.

I've been single for about six months
now.

My ideal man is Mel Gibson in Lethal
Weapon, is it? With long hair.

Amazing. But any prince wishing to woo
Princess Jamie would first need to go

through a truly terrifying property
wheeler -dealer called Dickie Fluff,

otherwise known as Dad.

Jamie lives in a caravan next to the
house, and that's got a big fence round

Also, I've got a big wall all round the
house.

Plus, I've got five dogs.

And on top of that, I've got cameras as
well, and one of them points right at

her caravan.

Of all the princes desperate to win her
heart, there was one whose deeds

impressed all immediately.

With his great courage and dashing good
looks, he was the complete princely

package.

Well, almost.

I'm flexing, I know it.

I know I'm not being very intelligent as
well. In terms of being on the computer

as well, I'm not very clever.

all that stuff, reading books and things
like that. I met a girl really

intelligent. I suppose that would help
me a bit because it'd make me more

intelligent. She'd teach me a few
things.

Prince Jordan the Unwise may have lacked
the brains, but he had an abundance of

desire to be crowned Prince Sharp.

He survived all of Dad's terrible,
twisted tests of love to find himself in

final battle of the ballads against the
formidable Muff Daddy.

Prince Jordan.

I've already ran over him in the man -o
-mouse challenge.

He's going to get squashed again.

And

I

wonder... I wonder why you look at me
like that.

What are you thinking?

What's behind?

Don't tell me, but it feels like love.

If you're the one good reason You're the
only girl that

I need And you're more beautiful than I
have ever seen

I'm going to take this night and make it
evergreen.

OK, you can come out from behind the
sofa now. It's over.

Now, I know what you're thinking. Surely
she didn't.

Yes, she did.

I liked the sound of his voice because
it was Essex and I really liked the

accent.

There was just something about the way
the prince spoke them words that were

really sexy.

So Princess Jamie was rather taken with
her Prince Charming. But what about

Prince Jordan? What were his first
thoughts on his princess?

She's not normally my type, because I
normally go for brunettes and tan, but

she's, like, blonde and not that, so
we'll just see how the date goes.

So, it was not a great start, but the
question was, would they live happily

after? Well, let us return them to the
real world and see what happened on

first date together.

Ah, look.

They're having a romantic meal together.
I wonder what Prince Jordan the Unwise

would order.

Yes,

including vegetarians. Now, did you know
that in the real world, Jordan is a

full -time dream boy?

First day, my name is Jordan Essex.

When I'm on stage, I feel a bit cold.

Literally, when he starts talking about
himself, you can't shut him up because

he's that attracted to himself.

Let's not get into that because I'm
really obsessed with Jim and I'll talk

it for hours.

The way he looked, the way he acts, his
body, his job, everything.

It was all about him. The whole date was
just all about him.

Have you not ever seen a Dreamboy show
or nothing like that?

And so it went on and on until finally
this banquet of love came to a close.

So would either of them be coming back
for seconds?

I don't think I fancy Jamie.

He's a nice girl in general, a nice
personality and good to get on with.

But I just don't think she's my type.

I have nothing in common with the guy.
He loves himself. All he likes to talk

about is himself.

Buff Daddy would have been a much better
laugh if I went out on a date with him.

And so Princess Jamie and Prince Jordan
the Unwise went their separate ways.

Their search for love would go on. But
what about our next princess?

Remember her?

I'd like to think that there is a
perfect person out there for everybody.

think that there is a true
compatibility, a soulmate.

So, yeah, I'm on a quest to find my
soulmate, my prince.

Yes, it's Princess Nicky, a cruise ship
dancer from Sutton Coalfield, who was

joined by her 65 -year -old retired
teacher of a dad, Pat.

I think my dad's got quite a short view.

His temper can come out quite quickly
over something quite menial.

Trivial. Isn't menial the right word?
No. Trust me.

One thing's for sure, there was nothing
menial about Dad's task to find the

prince charming for his darling
daughter.

A quest that began upon the terrifying
catapult of truth.

This marvelous machine was part lie
detector, part instrument of torture.

That meant there was no hiding from the
truth for our princes, no matter how

embarrassing the quest.

Have you ever made a sex tape?

No No

No

The sex tape contained superheroes.

Basically, I was Batman and she was
Catwoman.

Basically, it was just a bit of a
fantasy that we went to battle.

Despite this raunchy revelation, Dad Pat
saw something he liked in the cut of

this prince's gym. And so it came to
pass that Prince Martin found himself in

the final three Hosel shootout with
Prince Charlie and Prince Navid.

The law of the lake states that whoever
falls first will be cast out forever

from this princely contest.

But who will it be?

Oh, it's Prince Charlie.

That was a bit disappointing.

Still, hey -ho, never mind. Let's plough
on, shall we, and see just who will be

the ultimate winner of this watery war
of princely vengeance.

Ah,

it's Prince Martin.

Well done.

This epic victory was a high point in
Prince Martin's campaign to win a date

with the princess.

And shortly his dream was fulfilled, as
he was chosen by Princess Nicky herself

to be her prince charming.

When the gate first opened, I thought,
wow, he's hot. He's the sort of guy I'd

go for. I was really happy.

When the gate opened, I was really,
really happy with what was in front of

Lovely blonde hair, massive blue eyes,
really nice white smile, really nice

boobs, and a really beautiful figure.
Perfect.

So it all looked very promising as they
left our magical kingdom and returned to

the real world for a romantic restaurant
rendezvous.

Oh, and here they are.

Two little lovebirds.

Tweet, tweet.

Drinks, please, Garcon.

Excellent. Now they're both wearing
spots.

But what else have they in common?

How long were you in Ibiza for?

I was in Ibiza for four months.

I became brain dead after about two
months.

He's been to Ibiza to work, and
obviously me going abroad to work, so

something in common.

We just spoke about our experiences in
life, basically. She's done a lot of

things I've done, so it was very
natural, and she was very easy to speak

This is all sounding quite promising.

More wine, anyone?

I was going to try and persuade you to
go out raving with me, but...

You know I'd be up for that.

Nice to see young love letting its hair
down.

And they do seem to be getting on rather
well.

My question was, does her personality
match her looks? And she ticked that

it definitely does.

Never do that again.

He's got really nice eyes and, like,
good sort of beard thing going on.

So, Nicky, I've had a really good time.
I think you're a special girl.

Cheers for coming.

Thanks. I had a really good night, too.

Cheers.

The fairy tale's come to an end now, and
I really do think it's a possibility

that it's going to be a happy ending.

And so, with all the booze polished off,
it's time for goodbyes.

Or maybe they'll go for a quick swifty
elsewhere.

That is the tale of two princesses'
quest for love.

Return to us with Godspeed, my friends,
to see how our other fairy tale romances

got on when they went back to reality.

I'm definitely physically attracted to
him.

Let's get to him.

Welcome back to My Little Princess.

Now, tis no denying that our land of
love is an unusual place, but t 'was

nothing compared to the way one princess
saw things in the real world.

I believe that the world is secretly
controlled by reptiles.

By that I mean high -ranking
politicians, like celebrities from the

family, actually came from a different
planet.

before the dawn of time.

Some examples would be Nicki Minaj. She
was in a normal interview, they were

just filming her, and her eyes slowly
started shape -shifting.

And, like, for example, there's a
picture of Angelina Jolie, and you can

like, scales here.

Yes, it's Princess Lisa, a nightclub
hostess from Watford, who believes that

reptiles really rule the Earth, and even
worse, married Brad Pitt.

Finding a perfect man for Princess Lisa
was always going to be tricky.

But if any man could do it, then it was
this man.

A 58 -year -old karate black belt and
gun fanatic, otherwise known as Dad

Jim.

Despite the fact she's nearly 20 years
old and she's an adult, I still feel

protective towards her. I spend a lot of
time shooting with rifles and shotguns,

so I'm quite handy with a shotgun and I
can hit moving targets.

He may be joking, but our princess
decided to err on the side of caution

impress this most dangerous of dads any
which way they could.

Even if that meant being transformed by
our witch into giant, ugly bird men in

order to protect the princess's most
precious possession, her pet pooch,

Yeah, like, he's sort of like a dog to
me. Like, he's more like a baby, and,

like, I feel like a single mum, like,
looking after him, raising him by

Like, sometimes I dress him up and
everything.

Just little converses.

Our evil Jester would shoot deadly
missiles directly at a portrait of the

princess's darling doggy. Whichever
birdy bodyguard took the most hits for

would win the greatest favor from Dad
and Princess Lisa.

So with this thought in their bird -like
brains... The princes prepared

themselves for the jester's onslaught of
pain.

Pain is nothing. It doesn't mean
nothing. It's not even in my dictionary.

Take it, man!

For the pin's neck!

Take the ball for her!

Oh, dear.

What? Look out! Duck!

No!

Oof! I bet that hurt.

Be stern and strong.

Ah, a ball to the face.

Taking it like a blimp.

Now, I know what you're thinking.

The prince that triumphed in this
challenge went on to win the date with

Princess Lisa.

Well, no, he didn't. This week's winning
Prince Charming did rubbish in this and

every other test of love.

But somehow he managed to survive and be
chosen by the princess herself to enter

her garden of love.

My initial reaction when the gate opened
was pleasantly surprised, to be honest.

Yeah, she's a nice -looking girl, so I
was pretty happy.

His name was Prince Jamie, and he seemed
rather pleased with himself.

But what did the princess make of this
most fortunate of princes?

First thing I thought when the gate
opened was, like, wow, that's a lot of

-up.

So things didn't look too promising, as
they were transported back to the real

world for their dream date together.

There they are, a perfectly normal
couple enjoying a perfectly normal meal,

talking about perfectly normal things.

This whole recession thing that's going
on, I think it's bullshit. Like, it

didn't actually happen.

Do you get what I mean?

It didn't actually happen? No, it didn't
happen.

In what sense?

Like, it didn't actually happen.

We're just trying to, like, control the
media and, like, scare people.

Do you get what I mean?

Not really, no.

I think when I talk to a lot of people
about this, they think I'm crazy.

I think she thinks that reptiles just
have more control than we think they do

some sort of fashion in the fact that
they might have bigger brains or might

similar to humans.

I think sometimes it's good to have
different opinions, sometimes it's good

hear other people's opinions on
different topics.

Lisa may be interested in big bank
fakery, but it would appear that Jamie

more interested in big boob fakery.

Oh, yes.

What else has she had done for me?

Oh, dear.

So you don't agree that the world is run
by reptiles, and now you've accused her

of having a nose job.

This isn't going very well, is it?

You know what? I just thought that went
okay. She did look really pretty. She

looked really great, to be honest.

He's a really nice guy. He's very sporty
at ease.

I'm definitely physically attracted to
him.

Oh, well, there you go, then. So maybe
love could be in the air for this oddest

of couples after all.

I'm not sure if Jamie could be my prince
because I have a really specific

criteria. And, like, I don't think
Jamie's that person, but I think he's,

the perfect guy for someone else. It's
just not me.

Although Lisa is a really nice girl.

I don't think she is my princess.

So it was written in the stars, probably
by some reptilian alien master race,

that the destiny of these two was not
meant to be together.

Never mind, eh?

The next couple who entered this realm
of romance were a student of journalism

called Princess Lear and her dad, a
terrifying satellite installation

called Mark.

who both hail from the land of
Worcestershire.

The kind of guy that kind of gave me to
death would be someone like Dappy, the

way he comes across on his videos, the
language he uses.

For me, I kind of like someone that
just, like, you know, breaks the rules,

bit of a rebel, like that kind of look,
a bit like, you know, outside the box.

Now, of course, Dad Mark wanted a prince
that only had eyes for his little

princess. So with that in mind, the
wizard of the castle called for all the

princes to sit before one of his
marvelous machines.

All he told them was that a creature
would appear before them, and that they

must maintain eye contact with that
figure at all times.

Do not stray from the path.

Maintain eye contact.

Keep looking into her eye.

Do not be tempted by her truth. Do not
stray from her lies.

Only look at her lovely round eyes.

Her beautifully shaped eyes.

Her big bulging eyes.

Don't look at anything else.

Only into the eyes.

Just the eyes.

No, don't look. No.

Keep looking at the eyes. There's
nothing else to see.

Oh, Lord, those eyes.

With this torturous trial of temptation
over, it was time for the wizard to

reveal his filthy findings to Dad and
Princess Lear.

Let me begin by describing the two most
faithful of your princes, Prince Mac,

and Prince Robbie.

That was more mentally torturing,
obviously, being a male. We want to

I found the task quite difficult, but I
think that's mainly because you tell

someone not to jump on the bed, they're
going to.

They did not look at her breasts at all.
They kept their gaze firmly on her

eyes, as I had instructed.

But I fear bringing up the rear is
Prince Joe.

I might have had a peep once or twice at
the boobs.

We were too good to resist.

A man with an extraordinary interest in
the female form.

For he looked at her breasts, not once,
not twice, but a staggering twelve

times.

Unsurprisingly, this wasn't good news
for Prince Joe.

But it was good news for the prince with
the beaver hair, who would go on and on

until he was finally crowned the prince
charming of Princess Eve.

When the gate opened, he wasn't what I
expected.

He's a little bit shorter than I thought
he would be. I thought he'd be a little

bit taller.

It's not sort of my usual instant
attraction, but you never tell what

like, can you?

And so, this should be interesting, let
us return these two lovebirds to the

real world and see how they fare on
their dream date together.

And there they are.

No, hold on, there's Mac.

Maybe Leah's been delayed.

Yes. Ah, there she is, walking into her
flat. What?

What's she doing there?

After the show, I'd actually text Adam.

I thought it was nice and mean. Mac
found out and was like, oh, he texted

first. It just went downhill from there,
basically.

All right, so basically, she stood Max
up. That's not very nice, is it?

To not turn up, just pathetic, really.

I'm not a horrible person, I don't like
to badmouth anybody, and I think it's a

real shame that I've not got on with
Leia, because normally I connect really

well with people.

See, he's a guy that connects with
people, Leia.

Couldn't you see that?

There wasn't any chemistry at all with
me and Max.

Like, could even hold a conversation
properly.

The final message to Leia is, you know,
best of luck.

I apologise if I offended you in any
way, but I had no intention of doing so.

I just don't think we connected at all.

Well, you didn't connect, you didn't
turn up. But what have we all learnt?

I think this experience has actually
taught me not to go by looks. I just

that Max obviously wasn't the type of
guy that I was kind of looking for,

really. So the date may have been a
complete and utter failure, but let's

on the bright side.

Er, no, sorry, there isn't a bright
side.

Let's move on quickly, shall we, to
another tale of love.

Our next princess looking for her one
true love was an office temp from

Guildford called Princess Sophie, who
was escorted to her magical land by her

dad, Mike.

I'm not a spoiled little princess, I
don't think.

Everybody says that you're Princess
Sophie. You act like a little diva at

If you lose something, it's somebody
else's fault and you go into one.

So, it would appear that our princes
would need to be made of strong staff to

cope with the demands of Princess
Sophie.

For this purpose, the witch of the
castle arranged her dad and his daughter

see who was really a man or a man.

Transformed into giant idiot -faced
mice, the princes could see nothing at

beneath their new beastly skins.

To prove their courage, they had to run
directly towards each other until they

collided. Whoever made it furthest along
the track would be the winner.

First to grab the mousy gauntlet was
Prince Joe, the Pocket Prince.

I think just doing all these tasks and
showing the princess how much we want to

date with her should really impress her,
and I think if it worked out, it'd be

amazing. Ah, bless.

He had his work cut out, for his rodent
opponent was Prince Scotty the

Merciless. I am the most competitive
person I've ever met.

I have to beat everybody at everything,
otherwise I get really, really angry.

Not a mouse. Think of men, but not
completely think of men because of the

princess. So think of princess and men.
Men. No, hang on. This is all wrong.

I bet that hurt.

So the winner of this suicidal duel of
dumbness was brave Prince Scotty, who

defeated the gutless weasel that was
Prince Joe.

This was just one of Prince Scotty's
finest moments.

in a trail of triumph that led him to
the front door of the princess's lady

garden.

Good grief.

Having seen her prince charming in the
flesh for the first time, the princess

was more than happy with her choice.

When the gate opened and I saw Scotty, I
was actually quite relieved.

Even though Scotty's singing was
horrendous, I think he's absolutely

so that definitely makes up for it.

Princess was definitely all that hard
work, all the water, all the mud. She

my breath away. She was a stunning girl.

Oh, how exciting.

Let us see then what happened next when
they left our magical kingdom behind for

their romantic encounter in the real
world.

Ah, cocktails.

Very romantic.

I wonder how this compares to other
dates they've been on.

So if you were to take a girl on a date,
where would you go other than here?

I don't really go on dates.

Why don't you go on dates? I can't
believe that.

If I took her out, I'd probably pick her
up at something like, usually just

Mendo's or TGI's or something.

So like a nice little restaurant,
nothing major.

Got to save a bit of money, you know
what I mean?

I do go out with guys who make a bit
more effort.

But it's not a good thing to know that
he doesn't usually take girls out.

Well, look, he's on a date now, so let's
see how he gets on, shall we? I'm

really sad about this.

Probably run away in a bus.

Ah,

look -see, now they're having fun.

I'll try to be a bit funny here and
there, break the eye.

He did say something funny, but I can't
remember what it was, so it can't have

been that funny.

OK, well, if the stand -up comedy
doesn't work, then maybe they should try

something else.

No, let's get pissed.

We didn't really have much to talk
about.

We did keep conversation flowing, but it
wasn't anything too interesting.

I think it went all right, to be honest.

I think we were at the really smooth
conversation, nothing really stopped.

OK, you say potato, he says potato.

So, should you call the whole thing off?

I thought you were stunning.

Like her really long blonde hair.

I do fancy Scotty. If you're up to see
me again after this, I would say yes.

want to give him another chance.

Hopefully there's another date.

I hope so, for sure.

Well, now I'm confused.

So who knows what will happen in the
future with these two?

It's not a no, it's a possibly maybe.

The story of love may be over for that
princess and Prince Charming.

But we have plenty more fairy tale dates
still to come as the tale of my little

princess continues.

You look like a turtle.

He's gorgeous.

Welcome back.

Now, for many girls, becoming a fairy
tale princess was a fantasy.

But for our next daughter, it was a
reality.

Just ask her dad.

Charlotte, my little princess. She needs
to be looked after.

and kept safe and sound. If a guy
doesn't treat me like a princess, my dad

have him out of the door right away.

Princess Charlotte was a cruise ship
dancer from Cheltenham. She was joined

her quest for love by her dad, John.

She was a princess that demanded only
the finest things in life.

So with that in mind, her princely
suitors were all summoned before the

kingdom's connoisseur of luxury goods,
the gift horse.

Okey -dokey, fellas.

Imagine, if you will, you and the
princess in a luxury spa.

No, not the supermarket.

The place with the towels.

So, what treatment would you get for
her? An Indian head massage

or a French manicure? A manicure or a
massage?

Indian or French?

I'm going to go for the French manicure.
The Indian head massage.

I think Indian head massage is a bit
naff, so I'm going to go with the nail

manicure.

Then I'm sorry about this, fellas, but
someone is up for the job. It's not me.

Blame the producer.

So I can tell you the correct answer is
the princess

would like to have...

Bit tense, this, isn't it?

An Indian head massage.

Oh,

it was a

tough one, but...

Most girls would go for French manicure,
but I don't like my hands, so... You

prefer the Indian head massage, that's
for sure.

Well,

Prince Mark, do you mind if I call you
Primarch for short?

Can I just say congratulations?

And so it came to pass that this prince
of good taste... Prince Mark of the

Mersey eventually emerged triumphant and
bagged a date with Princess Charlotte.

And the good news was that first
impressions

were most encouraging.

When I first saw Mark, I thought he was
really nice. He had a really nice smile.

He made me feel really special.

Over the past week, I've absolutely
worked my knackers off.

And everything I've been put through,
it's all been worth it. And I can't wait

to get to know Charlotte more.

And so, the stage was set for this
knackless prince to return to the real

with the princess for their date with
destiny.

Now then, we've all got high hopes for
this one, so let's see what's on the

of love tonight.

Ostrich. Ostrich. I couldn't imagine
what that would be.

No, not today.

Ostrich? Unusual. Didn't know Nando's
did that.

Not really. Actually, they're in a posh
African restaurant.

Should be fun.

Well, Zebra, do you reckon it's trippy?

Do you reckon it's never stripy? Maybe.

Maybe. Maybe.

Well,

it's tickled her.

Anywho, come on, let's get down to the
serious business of copping off with

other. Say something really, really,
really like Liverpool -y.

I can't think of anything.

Play something like, could they play YI
now?

That's Newcastle.

Charlotte is unknowingly funny.

She says things that she doesn't mean to
be funny.

Have you seen Awkward Turtle?

Why is it an awkward turtle?

Because it's what you do when a
situation's really awkward, you do an

turtle. I know why it's awkward.

It's only got two legs.

No, turtles only have two legs.

They have four.

Oh, my God.

Well, it's nice to see them having so
much fun together.

But what about love? Any chance of a
snog?

Hey, that's nicer than mine.

Charlotte is a lovely girl, but she's
just too sweet, too innocent.

That's just not my type of girl. I like
the feisty girls.

He seems a really nice guy.

Whether there's any chemistry there, I
don't know.

I'm not convinced that she really is my
princess.

Not really my type. Lovely person, but
just not for me.

Oh dear.

So sadly the flowers of romance did not
blossom and bloom in this garden of

love. So let's move swiftly on to the
next princess.

The next visitor to our magical kingdom
searching for love was a barmaid called

Zoe Embry.

and her dad, Phil, a 56 -year -old
builder who hailed from the ancient

of Shrewsbury.

In five years' time, I would like to be
married, maybe have a mortgage, my own

hair salon, to be quite settled compared
to what I am now.

My ideal man for Zoe would be somebody
not too tall, handsome -ish, somebody,

you know, quite funny and doesn't take
life too serious, but serious enough to

look after Zoe.

If a good sense of humor was important
to Dad, then the go -to man to test such

things was the naughty jester of the
castle, who decided to play a prank on

princess.

He told them that they must run
blindfold towards a wall that was 50

the distance and stop before they
collide.

This would test their courage and
instinct for danger.

But unbeknownst to them, as they
prepared themselves for this ordeal, the

devilish clown magically moved the wall
forward.

So would the princes fall for the
jester's prank?

And more importantly, would they see the
funny side of his wicked weeds?

First to be fooled was Prince Matt.

I've just run flat out into a brick
wall.

I'm a little bit pissed off. I don't
like pranks.

I always like to be honest and know
what's happening. So, yeah, I'm not

Hitting the jester's wall next would be
Prince Arthur.

When I took off the mask, I thought it
was quite funny.

Saw the light side of it rather than to
be annoyed.

I think after watching that, Arthur
seems to be more my type. He's

for a laugh, like, doesn't take himself
too seriously.

Looks good to be with you.

Yeah. Yeah. He'd entertain you. Yeah.
And finally, last to go was Prince John.

I didn't have an idea what was going on.
I thought it was a serious task, but I

guess my instincts aren't that good.

It was clear that the prince that caught
the eye of the princess in this and

other tests of love was Prince Arthur.

And soon, this man -mountain of a man
was crowned her Prince Charlie.

When the gate opened and I saw my
prince, I was really quite pleased. He's

definitely my type, tall, dark and
handsome, prince material.

I just wanted to go give him a kiss.

She's a gorgeous looking girl, lovely
long brunette hair.

I also think she made a good choice
choosing me.

It was obvious there was an instant
attraction that both felt for one

But would this feeling remain when they
returned to the real world?

Oh, yes, there they are. I didn't
recognise them in their civvies.

Oh, what a gent.

Oh, I can see a bra.

Hope she doesn't spill anything on her
towel.

Oh, gazoops, man.

Control yourself.

Still, no complaints from Zoe.

What would you cook if I came over and
took her, dear? I don't know. Probably

like a green Thai curry or something.

That's my fave.

Is it really? Oh, my God, yeah.

No way.

I do think I fancy Arthur, yeah, because
he's got the tall, dark, handsome feel

to him. He's a really nice lad, and he
made me laugh.

I think Zoe's gorgeous.

I've got a great figure, I love her
style.

Yeah, I think I have to go with Zoe.

It's all going very well, but let's not
move too fast, shall we?

Do you have a name to top chair?

Is that the right gal? Yeah, I think
I'll move.

Okay. Yeah.

So he can cook her favourite meal and
would be willing to move to her

I wonder if that impressed Princess Zoe.

Ah, yes, it appears it would. Good Lord,
get a room, will you? So it may be a

stupid question, but has tonight gone
well?

Scale of one to ten, I think I fancy Zoe
a nine.

I would rate this date as an eight. I
think we've got a really well compared

a lot of dates that I've been on.

So, it would seem that love was most
definitely in the air for our Zoe and

And who knows?

Perhaps this may be their happily ever
after they've been searching for.

With sorrow in my heart, I must inform
you all that there is just one final

of love for us to tell.

Return to our realm of romance soon, as
the story of my little princess

concludes.

Each one of you drunk?

Yeah.

Welcome back to My Little Princess.

Our final lady looking for love was a
receptionist from the land of Milton

Keynes called Roxy.

Helping her find her prince charming was
her dad, a 43 -year -old bid man called

Sam.

The kind of boy I like is someone that's
quite career -minded.

Someone that's confident, that will look
after me as much as I could look after

him. I do know Rochambe. I feel very
confident I can pick the right guy for

The ones that you've always said, oh,
yeah, he's a white guy, have turned out

be absolute fat.

So, yeah, in that sense, I am worried.

Now, as a trained refuse collector, Dad
knew rubbish when he saw it, so he

wanted a prince charming to be able to
do the same.

He wanted someone who could spot the
Puddle of Trouble.

The princes came across a series of
intriguing puddles blocking their

Some were good, some were bad.

To help steer them towards the right
path, a series of ghostly apparitions

appear before their princely eyes,
enticing them to step forward into one

puddles.

On this occasion, it was a vision of two
older gentlemen.

One of them had just eaten a full, rich
breakfast.

Lovely. He would guide them to the good
puddle.

The other had just downed a bottle of
vodka and was as drunk as a skunk. He

would lead our princes towards the back.

I think that the one that looks like a
lady over here is not

drunk, just going off first impressions.
They're never wrong.

But looking at his face, you could tell
he drinks a lot.

Bit of a lost soul.

This guy looks...

Very smiley and chirpy.

That could be because he's had a drink,
or he could just be a bubbly person.

The gentleman over here is drunk.

Again, just going off first impressions.
They've never done me wrong. This guy

looks more chilled out and relaxed, but
he doesn't look drunk.

This guy looks quite fit, like he
maintains himself, so obviously he won't

too keen on the drink.

And so, it was time for our princes to
stand by their puddle.

Prince Charlie and Prince Navid believed
the white -haired gentleman was stone

-cold sober and would lead them to
safety, whilst Prince Aram put his faith

the rosy cheeks of the other gentle
gentleman.

It was time to discover the terrible,
drunken truth.

Oh, my God!

And so, it came to pass that Prince Aram
was defeated by a drunken demon with

the hair of a middle -aged lady.

Prince Charlie and Navid's survival in
this contest of love would continue

they were the last two princes standing
in the final sing -off for the heart of

Princess Roxy.

My life is brilliant.

My life is pure.

I saw an angel, of that I'm sure.

She smiled at me on the subway, she was
with another man.

But I won't lose any sleep on that,
cause I've got a plan.

I saw your face, in a crowded place.

And I don't know what to do.

Cos I'll never be with you.

Unsurprisingly, after hearing this,
there was only ever going to be one

You're beautiful.

You're beautiful.

You're beautiful, it's true.

When I heard his voice...

I got goosebumps.

It was absolutely amazing.

When I opened the gate, I was really
surprised and impressed.

I don't normally go for brunettes, but
she's absolutely gorgeous.

Would this promising start have a happy
ending?

Time to find out as we return our prince
and princess back to the real world to

see if fairy tales really do come true.

And there they are.

Oh, not very popular, this place.

Still, everything looks better with a
drink in your hand.

Can we have another bottle of that,
please? Yes, sure. Another bottle? You

haven't eaten anything yet.

Are you trying to get me drunk?

Well, at least it's a fine wine. Quite
sophisticated.

Like Charlie.

Have you ever had, like, Bene?

Bene? You mean the fabled city of Roman?

Is it called venison?

Venison. Venison. No, sorry to
disappoint, but a venison is not someone

comes from Venice.

I need to bear in mind he is a little
bit younger than me.

Little things that have been said or
little things that he does have been,

pushed aside.

Because, generally, he is a really nice
guy.

So it's all going rather well. But how's
the fine wine up?

Thank you.

Yes, it's very Moorish, isn't it? Oh,
look, the waitress. Pudding, anyone?

Thank you.

That's a big Zambuca.

You're trying to get us drunk, aren't
you?

Well, our merry couple may be drunk on
drink, but are they intoxicated with

other? That's the question.

Here's to a wicked first date, yeah?
Thank you. Did you enjoy yourself? Yeah.

really enjoyed myself.

Thank you.

There was a bit of chemistry with me and
Charlie, I think.

If I was going to mark this date out of
ten, I would say nine, because I've not

felt awkward at all.

I've felt that I can be myself 100%. Two
-thing or three, I'm going, definitely.

I'm not every girl's cup of tea, but the
fact that she likes who I was and who I

am is hit a warm spot.

Well, well, well.

Could seem that this unlikely pair may
have finally found their happy ending

after all.

And so, the door to our realm of romance
is about to close for good.

May you all find someone to share your
fairy tale with and get to live happily

ever after.

But remember, the quest for love is a
magical thing that sometimes makes no

sense at all.

the kings of Tosca.